Jessica Jones/ Matt Murdoch Fanfiction Chapter 2

Jessica stood staring at him almost like he was another client under surveillance, another puzzle to be solved… She watched him cook as her eyes raking over his body and the smells from the fry pan began to spread throughout the apartment before Matt interrupted her

"You're staring" he commented without turning around. "I can feel it."

"Not staring, just making sure you don't burn yourself or blow up your apartment while trying cook us breakfast."

Matt smirked. "Really, you can see all that from all the way over there huh?"

"Yep, I can see everything just fine." She smiled as she continued staring.

Matt chuckled and smiled to him to himself as he listened to her heart beat increase.

Matt finished off cooking as he served up breakfast and placed the plate down in front of her announced breakfast was now ready and took a seat down opposite her.

"Well?" He queried as he took a bit of the chicken, mushroom and spinach omelette he'd just made for them.

"I'd prefer whisky."

Matt stared at her as she rolled her eyes. "Fine it doesn't look or smell that bad. I just don't do breakfast."

Again, Matt stared simply saying nothing, just listening to whatever information Jessica was willing to share with him.

"Jesus can you at least saying something instead of sitting there staring? Alright, fine. It's just the last time anyone cooked for me was Kilgrave..and I…."

Matt reached out and covered her hand with his.

"I'm not him." He whispered as he held onto her hand not letting go as Jessica used her spare hand, grabbing the fork and began to eat her breakfast. Matt smiled. He was happy that he she was opening a little about Kilgrave to him. Baby steps he thought to himself they continued to eat in silence.

Over the next week Matthew and Jessica fell into a routine. Matt's body had been healing much quicker than she had expected him too and she had felt more comfortable about leaving him for longer periods then she had at the beginning of his recovery. She would come over to his place in the morning to check in and make sure he had made it through the night and she would drop over at the end of the day and bring dinner while they sat and talked.

She was sat crossed legged on his couch eating Chinese which was the takeaway of the day.

"Murdock? Just curious, you woke up from a coma basically a week ago and now your almost back to your old self again. How? I mean, no-one normal can repair themselves that quickly.

"Meditation." He replied, straight faced.

Jessica looked at him sceptically. "Meditation. Really Murdock, does it cure a hangover as well? Cause could that could be useful"

Matthew laughed. "No, sorry it doesn't. Doesn't really help if itself inflicted."

"Damn" She muttered.

"Can you something?"

"You can I ask, doesn't mean I'll answer."

"Yeah" He chuckled. "The drinking. I mean I know you joke about it, and I know its because of what happened with Kilgrave.

"You don't know the first thing about that Murdock."

"Yeah, I only know a little, but we haven't spoken about because you'd punched me across the face like you did the first time I brought it up."

"Yeah and if you don't drop it, it might not be the last time I punched you across your face."

"Jess come on, the only way you're going to be able to move past it, isn't by drinking yourself into oblivion every night, you need to face it, face what happened.

Jessica stopped at his words.

"Face what happened Murdock. I've already lived through it once and at least if drink I don't have to remember everything that prick did.

"And what exactly did he do Jessica? Hmm, what memories are you drinking away?

"You want to know what it's like Murdock to be someone's prisoner? Someone's mental prisoner. It's not like I could just get up and kick his arse and walk out. He controlled everything! What I ate, what I wore, who I spoke to, what I said, forcing me to be with him, saying I enjoyed it! That I enjoyed being raped by that bastard. He's made me kk…kk…kill for him." She said shakily.

Matt moved in closer as he pulled her close to him, but all she wanted to do was to push him away and run, run back to the safety of her apartment and bury herself at the bottom of the whisky bottle which sat on her desk.

"People died because of me…. can't…let.." She cried as Matt held her tight.

"Jess, shhh, it's alright I've got you. It's alright." He whispered as he did his best to calm her down.

"Murdock, let me…"She tried pushing him away before breaking down in his arms cried through trembled breath

"It's alright" He whispered as he pulled her close to him as she broke down into his healing chest. I've got you, you're safe."

After what felt like a good half an hour Jessica had done her best to regain some composure. She didn't like the fact that she had broken down in front of him but was surprised at how easily it had happened.

Matthew felt her push off him and reached out to grab her hand to try and stop her from leaving.

"I have to go. I'll be back later" She said as she dodged his grip, put her jacket on headed towards the door.

"Jess, please, can we just talk about what happened…Please." He asked as he moved around the bench top towards his door. Jessica had stopped with her back against the door sitting on the floor.

"Jess?"

"Down here." She said as Matt slid down into position next to her. "You know your going to have to help me up after this." He smiled.

Jessica smacked him in his chest as he let out small cry of pain. "Hey, you know I just woke up from a coma a week ago." He smiled.

"I'm glad you stayed."

"Yeah." She said a little too quickly

"You don't sound very sure."

"I'm not. I…haven't."

"Told anybody what happened?"

Jessica shook her head. She had told Trish a version of what happened, but she hadn't gone into details.

Matt did his best to try and broach the subject again. "Jess, what you said before about people are dead because of you, it's not true. People are dead because Kilgrave was sick murdering bastard."

"Who I failed to stop Matt. If I had stayed with him and let him do what he wanted to me then none of those people would be dead."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for this. He was a complete prick and he would have killed those people with or without you there and because of you he'll never be able to hurt anybody again."

"Understand? And don't nod your head yes because I can't see it." He smiled.

"Yeah, still doesn't stop the nightmares though." She sat as she leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Well perhaps I can help with that."

"Really? How? And don't say meditation because I'm not the meditating type."

"I wasn't going to say meditation."

"Yeah, you were."

"Maybe." He smirked.

"Alright. We'll since its only fail for whatever reason I just opened to you about Kilgrave. What was the deal with your ninja ex Elektra wasn't it?"

"She's ummm…"

"You loved her?"

"Yeah, I first meet her when I was in college, she was beautiful, educated, there was just something about her, it just drew me in, but we weren't good for each other. She was reckless, wild, she brought out something in me I didn't like."

"What happened?" Asked Jessica as she looked over at him.

"She had brought me to this house, she had said it was her uncles or cousins or something, but when we got there the man who murdered my father was sat they're in the middle of the kitchen tied to a chair with duct tape over his mouth. He was beaten and bloodied, I think she had already started the job and.

"Let me guess she wanted to you finish it."

"Yeah..She…Elektra." Matt smiled and looked away before inhaling sharply. "She kept pushing me to take revenge on him. Taunting me… She desperately wanted me to kill the man that killed my dad."

Jessica looked at the Matt as he replayed the scene in his head, his expressions changing he thought back to that time.

"I couldn't do it. As much I wanted him to suffer for everything that I'd felt when I lost my dad, I couldn't kill him."

"That's when I knew, Elektra and I, as much as I loved her I couldn't be with her. I had to walk away."

Jessica could see a look of doubt upon his face.

"You're a good man Matthew. I can see it in your face, your doubting yourself. Don't… You're a good man.

"Am I?"

"Yes"

"There's darkness in me Jess. Darkness that Elektra knew I had in me and knew how to bring out. I enjoyed beating the living shit of Russians, Fisk…"

"You were helping other people Matt. People who were in trouble and needed help. It's not like you went out grabbed a guy and smashed his head through a window unprovoked.

"Well…." He smiled.

Jess playfully hit him on the chest as she rested against his side and his arm wrapped around her protectively.

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