(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)
The following review is rated K+ for some rude humor.
A bright blue background appeared, and Dream Friend Magolor from Kirby Star Allies began to play. With this, a silhouette of Magolor appeared with the words "Magolor May," written in traditional Kirby font, appeared below the silhouette.
Magolor's Coffeehouse
Episode 03: Magolor's Store by SuperSmasher123
TinyURL: y2tt5d3x
"Hello, everybody!," Magolor said in a chipper tone. "Welcome back to Magolor's Coffeehouse! Luckily for you, you've shown up just in time. Today is the start of Magolor May!"
"This month, it's all about me, me, me! Every story that I'm going to review this month features me in some capacity. But that's not all: all of my friends are here to celebrate this wonderful month of me!"
"And don't worry!" declared the woman sitting next to Magolor. She was wearing a witch hat and a purple cloak. For those who wouldn't know, she is Drawcia, the main antagonist of Kirby: Canvas Curse. "I'll make sure that we have fun. That's why I'm here, after all."
"Right you are!" the egg wizard that was Magolor replied. "So let's start talking about today's story."
Magolor's Store
By: SuperSmasher123
AU. Magolor opens a store in Dreamland! Along side his little and very hyper sister named Maggie, Marx, Drawcia, Prince Fluff, Galacta Knight, Gooey, Taranza, and many more of your favorite Kirby characters, many things can happen! Watch as the randomness unfolds!
"Did somebody say 'random?!'" said Marx, appearing seemingly out of nowhere right next to Magolor.
"How did you even get in here?" Magolor asked, bewildered. "I actually locked the door for once."
"I am the interstellar enigma," Marx began, with a blank, vacant stare. "I have no reason to do anything. Life is all for naught, and we will all be forgotten soon enough."
Silence was the only thing that the trio's ears beheld for several seconds. Marx made the ambient air reach an all-time highest amount of awkwardness.
"I like this guy," Drawcia said finally.
"Okay," Magolor quickly spoke up, "let's just get started with the review before I have to see a therapist. This is Magolor's Store."
It was a beautiful day in Dreamland. Magolor decided to move to Dreamland and started a business.
"Not to be confused with my shoppe in Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, in case you were wondering."
Marx and Drawcia (who are now good) saw Magolor putting the finishing touches on his new store.
Magolor was about to say something, but Drawcia interrupted him.
"Don't bother questioning it," she said. "It would just make you hate the story more than you should."
"Why are you starting a business again?" said Marx. "I'm trying to get some money here." replied Magolor "Why don't you two work here? I could use the extra help." "Okay, I could use some extra money." said Marx. "Maybe I could let you sell some of my paintings." said Drawcia.
"I'd never let you sell my paintings," Drawcia commented dryly. "They're all national treasures, and I'd never give them to someone who may ruin them."
"Anyway," Magolor took over, a little weirded out, "Magolor calls his sister to meet his friends… yeah, I got a sister in this story… I guess I'm alright with it, as long as she has her own personality and is not just a palette-swap of me."
Magolor's sister, Maggie walked or should I say floated into the scene. She looked a lot like Magolor, but she wore pink instead of blue. Her eyes were purple and her hat was yellow with black tips and there were puff balls on the ends. Her clothes had similar designs to Magolor's but she had somewhat of a skirt on the bottom half. She also had a similar cape to Magolor and was about the same age as Marx. "Yay! New friends!" she said in a hyper tone "I'm Magoria, but you can call me Maggie!"
"Not bad," said Magolor, deep in thought. "Different personality, different looks, the only pet peeve I have with this character is the fact that her name is too similar to mine. If I was writing this story, I probably would've given her a name that hinted at a connection to mine without it being obvious, like Lorelei."
Marx and Drawcia stared blankly at Magolor, looking at him as if he had mushrooms growing out of his head. "What?" he asked them. "A man can dream."
Marx liked her already. He seemed instantly in love with her. "I'm Drawcia." said Drawcia, who was happy to have a new friend. "I'm Marx!" Marx said excitedly, having a new (and first) love interest.
"I don't love her!" Marx blurted. The other two jerked their heads toward Marx, and the awkwardness quickly returned. "I mean, she seems nice and all, but she oughta get annoying after a while. So all of you reading at home, don't get any ideas."
"Anyway," Magolor said, wanting to get back on task, "the shop opens for business and Prince Fluff is the first customer."
It was around 10:00 a.m. and Magolor was ready for his fist day in business. Suddenly, Prince Fluff entered the store. "Hi, Fluffy! Nice to see you again!" said Maggie. "Hey, Maggie! Long time, no see!" replied Fluff. "Wait, you two know each other?" said Magolor. "Yeah, we do!" they both said. "We met when she came to Patch Land. She helped me clean up the place since the Yin-Yarn accident." said Prince Fluff. "Fluffy here gave me a magic yarn thing for my trouble!" said Maggie. "So, what do you want? You do know this is a store right?" said Magolor. (Apparently, Magolor and Prince Fluff know each other.) "This is a store? I mean I would like to buy a ball of yarn, a chocolate bar, a sword, a jet engine, fairy dust, and a copy of Super Paper Mario." said Fluff. "Here you go!" said Magolor while handing Fluff the goods and getting a sack of money in return. "I hope I made a satisfied customer out of you!" said Magolor as he waved goodbye to Fluff while Maggie was tossing confetti in the air for whatever reason. As soon as Fluff left, Maggie cleaned of the mess by spinning so fast that she became a mini tornado or something. "That was random, I think." said Magolor wondering what Fluff will do the things he bought before hearing a rocket launch and an explosion soon after.
"Yeah, I'm wondering why he bought all that stuff too," Magolor admitted. "What are your thoughts, guys?"
"Well, the ball of yarn may be to make up for the phony Magic Yarn that he gave Maggie," Drawcia suggested.
"And the sword and jet engine could be so you're not armed, and therefore, not hostile to the population," Marx chimed in.
"The chocolate bar could just be for a snack…"
"He'd go home and play that copy of Super Paper Mario, because that game rocks!"
"And the fairy dust… well, he bought that just to be random."
"Speaking of random," Magolor butted in, "the next chapter in this story is all about the most random thing you can think of: time travel."
It was another beautiful day in Dreamland. Magolor and Marx just entered the store and saw Kirby on the floor. All the food was gone too. "Kirby! Why did you eat all the food!" shouted Marx. "I'm sorry! I was sleep-eating again!" said Kirby when he walked out. Maggie then popped out of a food pile. "I tried to stop him, but he was too strong…" she said before passing out. "I knew something like this would happen. Good thing I bought this time machine." said Magolor as he took out the time machine. "Where'd you get that?" said Marx. Suddenly, Galacta Knight showed up holding Metal General. "I gave it to him. It was a housewarming gift." said Galacta Knight. "And I built it!" said Metal General. "No one cares!" said Galacta as he kicked Metal General out of the store.
"Really?" Magolor asked, slightly peeved, "you're throwing Galacta Knight and Metal General into this melting pot of random now? Well, I gotta hand it to the writer. They seem to keep finding new and exciting ways to explore weird."
"Hey, let me see that!" said Marx as he grabbed the time machine and teleported to the past and back. "Stop playing with that!" said Magolor as he grabbed the time machine from Marx. "Let's go traveling through time!" said Magolor before Maggie interrupted him. "Did someone say time travel?!" said Maggie as she crazily jumped up and down. "That's my girl." said Marx.
Marx inhaled and sighed in pleasure. "I love the smell of chaos in the morning…" he said dreamily."
"Let's go already!" said Galacta Knight as he pressed some random buttons.
Magolor, Marx, Maggie, and Galacta Knight disappeared in the blink of an eye as they headed to the past. They soon saw a nursery room. Baby Magolor was in a crib with Baby Galacta Knight. Baby Magolor was in a smaller, less elaborate suit than his adult counterpart and wore a gear pattern bib. He also had a baby blue blanket around his neck. Baby Galacta had no mask, revealing his true white eye color. He also had a lance-shaped rattle and shield-shaped pillow. "Brings back memories, right Galacta?" said Magolor. "Sure does, pal." said Galacta Knight. "You guys were so cute!" said Maggie as she tried to hug the babies. "No!" said Marx, Magolor, and Galacta Knight as they restrained Maggie. "Do not alter anything in the past. It could change the future in a bad way. Do you understand?" said Galacta Knight slowly.
"Yeah," Drawcia remarked. "Haven't you seen Star Trek IV, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Back to the Future's 1, 2, and 3, Doctor Who, or that one episode of SpongeBob."
"Can we just go back to the future?" said Marx. Magolor pressed some buttons and the group disappeared.
They soon saw a battlefield. Kirby was chasing down Zero while a war between good and evil toke place.
"Welp, thanks for spoiling the events of the next Kirby game, you jerk." Marx commented jokingly.
"So anyways, they finally return to the present day— all's awful that ends awful— and we cut to a different day at a different time."
It had been a while since anything interesting has happened at the shop. Business was slow. On the bright side it gave Magolor, Marx, Maggie, Galacta, and Drawcia time to lay back and goof off. Magolor was telling a story about his time at wizard school. "And when the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing and the doctor was never heard from again. Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license." said Magolor.
Magolor was incredibly confused at this. "Wait, I was a doctor— you know what, I'm too exhausted from the randomness to care."
"Hey guys, we got cameos in the 100% cutscence again. Hey, I think I saw Meta Knight in one of the rows." he said while watching the cutscence as he just got 100%. "We know. We were there at the actual preformance." said Magolor. "I was at the past two." said Marx.
"And I'm still mad at HAL for not including me in Planet Robobot!" Marx shouted."
"You made a cameo as a Sticker," Drawcia replied.
"Doesn't count," the purple jester boy pouted.
Maggie, looking out a window, saw two strangers playing with their pet dragon Landia.
One of the strangers kind of looked like Magolor but had six hands and a spider styled outfit. The other was like a younger, happy-go-lucky version of Drawcia. "Maybe we can get directions here." said the spider wizard. The two then headed for the store. "Um... hello. Do any of you know where... Magolor?!" the wizard said as he and the little witch floated in. "Taranza?!" replied Magolor. "You two know each other?" said Marx. "Yeah, we were friends in magic school." said Taranza. The little witch, like everyone else, was surprised, that is, she was until she saw Drawcia. "Drawcy?!" she said before glomping Drawcia. "Paintra?!" Drawcia said in shock. "I missed you too, big sis!" Paintra said as she continued to hug her older sister despite not having arms.
"Wow," Magolor said half-heartedly, "the author actually included something canon. I honestly didn't think they'd get to that. Don't worry though, because that's quickly ruined by something dumb."
It was after hours at Magolor's store. Business has been booming since the release of Smash Bros and amiibo. Magolor, Marx, Drawcia; realizing how much they had in common back when they were evil beings possessed by incredible power lust; decided to start a club to talk about what it was like and how they can convince everyone that they are now law-abiding citizens of Dream Land. Apparently, despite starting a business, there are still people who don't trust them. "Welcome to the first official meeting of The Four Lost Souls." said Magolor. "Question?" said Marx. "Yes, Marx?" said Magolor. "Why'd you name the club The Four Lost Souls if there's only three of us?" asked Marx. "Good question. It's four instead of three since we already have a new member. May I introduce Queen Sectonia." said Magolor. The former queen then buzzed in. "Um hello." she said shyly.
The others, as in Maggie; Paintra; Taranza; and Galacta Knight, were also there. Taranza was very surprised to see Sectonia again, especially after he saw her blow up at the hands of Kirby. "My queen!" screamed Taranza as he fearfully bowed in front of Sectonia. "Please forgive me for siding with Kirby! Have mercy on me!" he begged. Sectonia was a bit bewildered by this, but she then smiled. "I don't know what you're talking about nor do I know you. I am Queen Sectonia, and you are?" she said kindly. "You don't remember me, your highness?" said Taranza. "Buddy, Sectonia doesn't remember anything before she found that cursed mirror. She's not the queen you knew." said Magolor.
"That doesn't make any sense!" Magolor exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Even after Sectonia went all Brainwashed and Crazy, she still knew who Taranza was. Heck, she even calls him by name."
Sectonia: Pitiful, Taranza... I have no use for a fool who cannot follow orders.
(Reminder: Actual quote from Kirby: Triple Deluxe)
"Do your research, Super Smasher. It always helps out in the long run."
"So, the other characters just spend the rest of the day talking about things we should already know until…"
The phone then started ringing. Magolor went to pick it up. "Hello? Hello? Hello?" he said to the receiving end. He then handed the phone to Drawcia. "It's for you." he said. "Hello?" said Drawcia. "Yes? Oh really. You're moving here?! In two months?! Wow that is good news! Alright, see you soon, mother." said Drawcia on the phone. "So?" asked Taranza. "Paintra's and my mother and grandmother are moving here to Dream Land to open an art gallery!" said Drawcia. "Wait, Mama Elline and Grandma Claycia are moving here?!" yelled Paintra in excitement.
Drawcia was scribbling away on a whiteboard that was in the coffeehouse specifically for this joke. She drew herself, Paintra, Elline, and Claycia, along with arrows in all sorts of directions pointing to all different characters before completely giving up and drawing a giant "X" over everything. "How is this even supposed to make sense!" she shouted.
"I have one idea," Magolor said. "Maybe in the author's headcanon, Claycia created Elline out of loneliness, thereby making Claycia her mother in a metaphorical sense. Afterwards, Elline may have painted Drawcia and Paintra, which would make her their mother. Basically, the familial bonds are simply spiritual. If it was actually biological… then it would make "Mistakes Into Miracles" seem canon by comparison."
"I suppose," Drawcia shrugged, slumped in her chair.
"Well, that was Magolor's Store." Magolor continued. "While I do like some parts of it, there are other parts that are just too random to understand. A lot of the character interactions in the story are based off headcanons that don't make a lot of sense unless you really stop to think about them. I'm even willing to excuse Sectonia's loss of memories regarding Taranza, since it is possible that those memories were blown out of her head after her fight in Kirby: Triple Deluxe, and the other characters just didn't know. All in all, I had a lot of fun reading this. While it is unlikely that this story will ever be continued, seeing as how it wasn't updated in 3 years, I'd be more than happy to read whatever SuperSmasher123 has in store for us next."
"I'm Magolor, and Magolor May has just begun," he said, getting up from his chair and exiting to the left. Marx and Drawcia got up and followed suit.
The End
Performed by Magolor, Marx, and Drawcia
Special Thanks
Channel Awesome
Keldeo the Critic by Matthais Unidostres
Kirby H by DokiDokiTsuna
Super Paper Mario
Apocalypse Now
Star Trek IV
Back to the Future
Doctor Who
SpongeBob SquarePants — Back to the Past
Kirby: Triple Deluxe
Mistakes Into Miracles
HAL Laboratory
TV Tropes
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