(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)
Warning: The following review is rated T for some instances of cursing.
A bright blue background appeared, and Dream Friend Magolor from Kirby Star Allies began to play. With this, a silhouette of Magolor appeared with the words "Magolor May," written in traditional Kirby font, appeared below the silhouette.
Magolor's Coffeehouse
Episode 04: One Wrong Turn by RippleRed
TinyURL: y5e6ujlz
"Welcome back to Magolor May, everyone!" Magolor began. "You already know who I am and what my deal is, so let's right down to business."
"As you probably know by now, after I reformed and integrated into Dream Land's society, I've met many interesting characters. Of course, there's Kirby, who I've helped out on a few occasions. There's also Susie, who I've met years back on Halcandra. I even have an on-off rivalry with Taranza. But there's no one I know that I've hung out with more that Marx."
"When you think about it, this really makes sense. We both like to cause trouble, although one of us does it more than the other. We both know about artifacts that grant awesome power, and then we both betrayed Kirby in order to get that awesome power. And yeah, the games love to portray the two of us together. So of course, we need a story about the two of us having an adventure for Magolor May!"
"Marx!" he called off to the side. "The book, please!"
Just then, Marx walked over to the table, balancing a book on his head.
"Thank you, mi amigo." Magolor said, taking the book. Marx climbed up to the seat next to him and sat down.
One Wrong Turn
By: RippleRed
After attending one of Kirby's crazy parties, Magolor sets out to go home. Unfortunately for him, Marx is taking him.
"I honestly believe that Kirby doesn't have the ability to throw any kind of party," Magolor remarked.
"Usually Dedede's the one who throws the party," Marx added, "then Kirby shows up and ruins everything."
"Anyway, let's not focus on the trivial stuff. We've got a review to do. This is One Wrong Turn."
Once again, for the twelfth time, Kirby was throwing a huge party. Nobody really knows why Kirby throws them, nor does anyone really know why he also invited people who particularly dislike him. Nevertheless, most that are invited go anyway, expecting that this would just be some cutesy little party Kirby threw together... at least, it started like that.
The first party started out just as cutesy as everyone expected it, maybe even a little worse. The only thing that was significantly great about it was the food, which was probably the reason why people even bothered to show up to Kirby's second, third, and fourth parties. The fifth party however, was when things took the turn from cutesy to crazy, when a certain onion witch decided to switch Kirby's music with dubstep. This now being the twelfth party, it was probably the most craziest one yet, as the music and flashing colorful lights could probably be seen from more than mile away. It's quite surprising that Tiff hasn't taken drastic measures to stop the wild parties yet.
"Wait, wait, wait," Marx interrupted, shaking his head (or his entire body, since he is just a Walking Head), "Gryll likes dubstep? I wouldn't expect that out of her."
"I know," Magolor commented. "She always struck me as more punk rock."
"So I end up deciding that I've had enough of this party, and I start heading home…"
He kept going, only until he heard a familiar voice calling him. A sort of squeaky, but loud, familiar voice.
"HEY MAGS! WHERE YA GOING!?"
"Home." Magolor groaned at the sound of Marx's voice. He knew it would probably be the source of his upcoming headache, even though he admits his own voice is squeakier than Marx's.
"But the fun just started!" The jester caught up to him. "Why are you leaving!? They're going to have a watermelon eating contest in there and it's Meta Knight versus Kirby!"
"Meta Knight?" Magolor doubted. How they got Meta Knight to go against Kirby in a watermelon eating contest, let alone even into the party is beyond him.
"I agree," Magolor said. "Meta Knight would never be willing to do such a thing. Does he really have nothing better to do?"
Marx shrugged. "I don't care. I'd totally watch it."
"Same here."
"Well, since I'm so invested in going home," Magolor continued, "Marx gets an idea, which usually doesn't bode well."
"You got a camera right?"
Magolor looks at Marx again, who now has a mischievous grin on his face."Yeah?" Magolor said questioning him. "It's in the Lor."
"Well lets go get you home then!" Marx said cheerfully. "We can get that camera of yours and film the party so you wouldn't have to stay to see all the fun! Plus, that once in a lifetime opportunity would be caught on camera if we hurry!"
As much as that seemed like a good idea, the part about Marx taking him home was not. The last time Magolor let Marx into the Lor, he had to go through the trouble of saving his beloved ship from quicksand, scarfys, and complete madness.
"Yep, that sounds like Marx, alright," Magolor joked.
"I'm right here, you know." Marx replied, a hint of anger in his voice.
"I thought you didn't care about what others say about you."
Marx opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but he suddenly said, "Okay, you called my bluff."
Magolor had just about enough of Marx's shenanigans. It's been an hour since they left that party and Marx had been going his own way to the Lor since. Magolor had been telling him that he was going the wrong way, but of course, due to stubbornness,(and maybe stupidity in Magolor's opinion) Marx was taking a very unclear, long shortcut.
"Marx come on," Magolor shouted after him. "The party is probably over by now!"
"You know what I just realized?" Magolor asked. "Whenever there's a Fanfiction of the two of us doing something, I end up getting stuck as the straight man. You know, the guy who always has to be the voice of reason, even when the other character won't listen to reason."
"I know," Marx replied. "It's like they think I can't be reasonable. I can be reasonable… when I want to, anyways."
"Are you kidding me Magolor? Kirby's parties don't really stop. They're more of aftershocks of the first wild party, only better." Marx said, not stoping. "Where had you been for the last seven parties!?"
"I was at the Lor, which is where we would have already been at by now if we hadn't took this 'shortcut' of yours." Magolor said taking a good look at his surroundings. " I don't think we're even close."
"Will you just relax!" Marx had stopped, turned around, and looked at Magolor's obviously tired looking face. "I'm sure we'll get to your ship in no time, you just gotta trust me!"
"Honestly," Marx remarked, "with all of the things I've done, I don't think anyone can trust me."
"I agree with you," Magolor commented, " because right after you say that, you go missing. I'm not even joking. That's what happens."
"Look Marx..." Magolor started, but he then realized that Marx wasn't even there any more.
"Marx?"Magolor looked around for him, but he was nowhere insight.…
"Great, just great!"
He asks me to trust him and he ditches me. He stood in the silence waiting for Marx to show up again. He hoped Marx was just joking around and trying to scare him, but at the same time grew worried for the guy.
About five minutes walking around and calling out for Marx, Magolor's worries ended when he heard Marx again near a rather large tree.
"Magolor! Hey! A little help?"
"What? Where are you?" Magolor looked around.
"Look up!"
When Magolor looked up, he saw vines, and Marx, of course, STUCK, in those vines.
"...""Hello?" Marx said. "Are ya still there?"
"How did you get stuck in those vines..."
"I dunno beats me. I thought I saw your ship, I ran up ahead-"
"Which you should really stop doing." Magolor interrupted.
Marx rolled his eyes and continued. "...I ran up ahead, and next thing ya know, I'm seeing the moon! Then I was all of a sudden, I'm stuck in this tree."
The two sat in silence for a moment, and then Marx piped up: "Actually, that's pretty believable."
Magolor flew up to where Marx was in the tree, and tried to pull the vines off of him.
"OUCH! Magolor be careful! I'm stuck bad and these vines aren't very comfortable to be in."
"Well maybe you shouldn't have went off ahead! No,better yet, maybe you shouldn't have tried to even lead me home! You have a terrible sense of direction!"
Magolor wasn't really in the mood for this.
"OW!OW! Okay! Okay! I getcha! I getcha! We'll head back as soon as you get me down!"
"Good."Magolor however, though he sounded calmer than he was a couple of seconds ago, he was still getting quite angry. No matter how hard Magolor tried to pull the vines off of him, they would only just make Marx more uncomfortable.
"DAMNIT!" Magolor finally yelled out.
"What? Did you get any off?"
"What does it look like to you!"
"I dunno I can't really see very many vines in my view so I'm just guessing. Geez Mags, why are you so snappy?"
"You led us far off from the Lor, I'm exhausted and at any moment I feel like I'm going to pass out, and now YOUR STUCK IN THIS TREE!"
"Okay, so you are ticked."
Magolor scowls.
"Look to make it any easier for you I'll try using my wings." Marx said trying to get in a better position.
"YOU MEAN YOU COULD'VE DONE THAT INSTEAD!?"
"Well, if I had done that earlier, then half of this chapter wouldn't exist, would it?" Marx said with a smirk.
"So anyway, I use my wings to break off some of the vines, but a few of them are still on me. So Magolor tries to get them off, but due to a classic SpongeBob routine…
Squidward: Shut your half-wit pieholes! [grabs a stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the other one is going down] I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! [gets to the floor but the stalk snaps and the stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it. He starts screaming]
"... the two of us are sent plummeting into a hole."
Magolor looked up to see where they fallen from. The hole, from where they stood, looked like a tiny little dot. Magolor was surprised they hadn't died from the long fall, however, they did both survive the wrath of Kirby.
"Well then... lets get out of here and find our way to the Lor." He calmly said dusting himself off.
"Luckily, the two of us discover a pathway that leads to another part of the cave," Magolor explained. "We trek ahead to find out that we've landed in… The Great Cave Offensive?"
As Magolor expected he found Marx in some sort of trouble. What he didn't expect was to enter a jungle inside a cave that was complete with living creatures and birds flying in the "sky".
"Hey, nice reference!" Marx said enthusiastically, giving a "thumbs-up." " Honestly, I thought everyone forgot about that game."
Apparently, Marx had managed to anger Knuckle Joe and got himself into a fight with him.
Wait.
Knuckle Joe!?
"My inner thoughts exactly."
"Knuckle Joe!? Marx! What the he-"
"He's crazy Mags! HE'S CRAZY!"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"Geez, that escalated quickly!" Magolor said, taken aback.
French Narrator: Five minutes later...
"So what your saying is that you've been stuck here for the past month? That's terrible!" Magolor said.
Magolor, Marx, and Knuckle Joe were all sitting in a circle,and in the middle of that circle was a camp fire. Both Marx and Knuckle Joe have red marks on their faces that shown that they both been slapped by a certain Halcandran…
"Yeah," Knuckle Joe rubbed his invisible nose. "So, nobody ever went looking for me?"
"Well...everyone was too busy having an awesome time at Kirby's party I'm guessing nobody noticed." Marx plainly stated as he watched the fire."Magolor I'm guessing it's is gonna be the same for us."
"No, it won't!" Marx blurted. "Unlike Knuckle Joe, a character that people only remember from the anime, Magolor and I are the most popular characters in the fandom. No one will ever forget about us!"
"Don't be saying things like that," Magolor told his friend. "You don't want to jinx it."
"Anyway, um," the Halcandran continued, flipping through the pages of the story, "blah blah blah, something about holes and breaking body parts— okay, here we go."
It didn't take much time for Marx to catch up to Magolor, as he stopped in the middle of a clearing in the odd cave jungle. Knuckle Joe, however, was nowhere to be seen.
"Mags! Hey Mags what happened? Where's Joe?" Marx had called out to Magolor as he approached. "Magolor?"
"He… Disappeared," Magolor whimpered, suddenly raised his hand, pointing the only remaining sign of Knuckle Joe, his headband. It was on the ground as if it was discarded carelessly. The look on Magolor's face was confused, and quite fearful.
"Disappeared?"
"He was still running… then he screamed and I don't know what happened! He just disappeared from my sight!"
"Well, if we're running on Kirby Star Allies logic," Magolor thought out loud, "then Knuckle Joe turned into a headband because Kirby unfriended him." He suddenly went wide-eyed, realizing something. "Sweet Nova… MatPat, if you find this, use it as evidence in Part 2 of your Kirby theory."
"He's not gonna find it," Marx shook his head.
"I said if he finds it!"
Magolor held his head, already feeling the stress headache coming on. The headache came quicker, however, when Marx decided to walk into the clearing to get the hair accessory.
"Marx, please don't," Magolor agonizingly groaned.
"Don't what?"Marx was snickering. The headband was already on his jester hat, making it weirdly divided like Knuckle Joe's hair was.
"I was going to say, 'Don't touch that Marx it might be dangerous out in that clearing,' but now I'm saying don't with whatever the hell you're doing," Magolor facepalmed in disbelief.
"Wait. My hat is already divided. Why would that headband make any difference," Marx questioned.
"Anyway," he continued, "we end up getting attacked by other creatures in the cave— because we just have the most rotten luck."
Theses attacks lead to the two to rush into a nearby hidden small cave. Magolor took extra, but important measures of picking up big leaves and sticks and covering the entrance to their hiding spot.
They hid there in silence for a few scary, long minutes. Even after the coast seemed clear they resumed hiding. They were a muddy, anxious mess.
Clearly they were unwanted newcomers in a wild and dangerous new world. Or was it new?
To Marx, something about this place felt strangely familiar. The Grizzos? The crazy Waddle Dees? It all felt so familiar. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't make out exactly why. This was troubling, because if he knew he been at a place, then he probably caused a lot of trouble there.
"Looks like the writer didn't forget about that game either," Marx mused. "That's good to hear."
Before Marx can blurt out another hope of his, Magolor quietly shushed him and pointed to the entrance. There was a shadow of someone from behind their leaf covered opening.
The two watched the figure carefully, trying to see what it was. It was a round and bouncy type of character. For a moment, the two were nearly convinced it was another puffball like Kirby. They were shocked to find this bouncy figure speak.
"Hello? Hello!" the figure yelled out. "I don't mean to intrude on you two, but I can possibly be a help to you! I saw you guys wandering into trouble!"
The voice was just as squeaky, adorable, and non threatening sounding as theirs. The Halcandran and the jester looked at each other with mutual suspicions and nodded in silent agreement. They know from each other and from experiences with Kirby, if the person adorable and friendly not to trust them.
"Once again, the author got something right," Magolor said, clapping his hands.
The figure turned out to be a noddy with a red hat. She smiled happily to once she saw the faces of the newcomers.
"Hello! My name is Apple!" she giggled. "I'm here to help you guys!"
"'Apple!?'" Magolor guffawed. "Who names their kid 'Apple?'"
"The same people who name their kid 'false paradise,'" Marx answered.
Magolor gave his friend a glare of pure malice.
"What?" Marx asked, still smiling.
"This is way worse than what I expected," Marx thought. He didn't think to hide his facial expression, which made Apple confused to the negative look.
"What's wrong? Haven't you seen a Noddy before?"
"Well, not one that's as wide awake as you," Magolor managed to find his voice. "Most of the Noddies I've seen usually have their eyes closed."
"Oh that's a….rather long story to tell," she said sheepishly. "The main point is that I have a sleeping disorder and can't really go to sleep as often as other noddies."
"So…" Magolor began, twirling his hand, trying to find the right words to say, "... she has reverse narcolepsy? I'm sorry, that's the only explanation I can think of. But anyways, she takes the two of us over to her village…"
They soon found themselves looking at a small but rather pretty enclosure. It was also tiny village upon closer inspection. There was waterfalls and colorful plants everywhere which made it hard to find the buildings due to camouflage.
The Halcandran and the Jester stared at the village in awe. It looked so peaceful and relaxing that they can already feel themselves drifting off to a peaceful sleep.
"Are you guys still behind me?" Apple broke their silence. It seems that she wasn't lying when she said she didn't easily fall asleep like normal noddies.
"Uh! Yes, we are" Magolor answered back after shaking himself out of his near daydream.
"Yeah, yeah, Apple," Marx yawned and grumbled. "Also what gives with the atmosphere here? I feel like about to pass out and die over here!"
"What atmosphere?" she tilted her head in confusion right until she realized what he meant. "Oh, the atmosphere."
"So they go on and on about how the village came to be and how there's a fountain at the center of the village. I'm not going to present it all to you; you can read it in the actual story if you want. I'm just going to skip to the end of it here.
Magolor cautiously floated over to the scale, looking at the details of the scale with interest. He could really feel it's sleepiness power have an effect on him, but he continued to study it.
His eyes widened from realization on what exactly it was. He flew over to Marx and began shaking him with absolute excitement.
"HOLY GAMBLE GALAXY! MARX, WE'RE LOOKING AT A SCALE OF THE DREAMIDIA DRAGON!"
Both Magolor and Marx sat in confusion, glancing at each other, then back at the story. They struggled to say a word, but then Marx piped up.
"Uh… the what?"
"You don't understand! While I was doing research on Landia, I happened to come across data on Dreamidia! That dragon is one of the most sought after legends ever. It has a huge hoard of treasure, most of which contains unspeakable amounts of power!"
"Okay, I've seen a lot of strange headcanons in my day," Magolor said, breaking out of his confused stupor, "but this has to be one of the strangest. Not that it's bad or anything, I mean, if you were to write a story based on just the dragon, I would totally read it. It's just that it comes straight out of left field and it ties to almost nothing."
"So after some more conversations that don't matter, nighttime rolls around, and we find a place to sleep.
Once they were absolutely sure they were alone, they began discussing their situation.
"So…." Marx started. "Do you trust her? I don't. At all."
"Well no, not particularly," Magolor was twiddling his thumbs. "She seems okay, but there's an off feeling I have about all of this, Marx."
"Exactly why I don't trust her. All of this is super convenient. She happened to bknow exactly where we were hiding, and that she's a noddy living in a village where everyone but her, sleeps."
"Sure, that seems strange," Marx commented, "but this is a Fanfiction. She was obviously just playing the role of Deus ex Machina."
A particularly loud snore comes from the sleeping dreamer in the other bed. Both Marx and Magolor stared at them. An intense curiosity took over the two.
Magolor, not caring that this was particularly rude, went over and quickly removed the covers to see who was sleeping in it.
Revealed to them, a familiar face was sleeping in the bed, much to their surprise.
"The identity of whom shall be revealed in the next chapter!..." Magolor announced. "... whenever the author decides to write it."
"I enjoyed this story; it even got a few laughs out of me at certain points. The plot was engaging enough to keep me wanting to know what happens next, even though it tends to drone on sometimes. The only problems I really have with this fic is the pacing and its grammatical errors. The story wasn't too bad; but it could've been better."
"Well, now that the review is over," Marx chimed in, "what do we do now?"
"Psst!" went a voice from over at entrance of the café. They turned to see Gryll waving at them.
The End
Performed by Magolor, Marx, and Gryll
Special Thanks
Channel Awesome
Keldeo the Critic by Matthais Unidostres
Kirby H by DokiDokiTsuna
SpongeBob SquarePants — Club SpongeBob
Game Theory: Kirby…Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
HAL Laboratory
TV Tropes
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