(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)
The following review is rated K+.
A bright blue background appeared, and Dream Friend Magolor from Kirby Star Allies began to play. With this, a silhouette of Magolor appeared with the words "Magolor May," written in traditional Kirby font, appeared below the silhouette.
Magolor's Coffeehouse
Episode 05: Magolor's Guide to Dreamland by neomeo
TinyURL: y5kaogv7
Magolor straightened himself and said, "Hello everyone, and welcome back to Magolor May!"
"So, the month of May is just about over," he continued, ears drooping. "And you know, it feels I haven't done anything extravagant for this holiday. I almost feel like I've failed myself."
"But don't worry!" he perked up. "Today, I'm doing something I haven't done yet! I'm reading a story from Wattpad!"
Just then, booing began from an unknown location in the café. Magolor ducked for cover when saw a tomato being flung straight towards him.
Who bring tomatoes to a café? he thought, but he quickly threw that question out the window, realizing that he had bigger fish to fry. Once the booing finally stopped, he rose back up to his seat, a serious look in his eyes.
"Look," he began, I'll admit that Wattpad has a bit of a reputation for having… interesting stories, and I really shouldn't be advertising another fanfiction website, but I wanted a nice, laidback story to end this month, and Wattpad is where I found it.
Magolor's Guide to Dream Land
By: neomeo
Are you new to Kirby or just looking for a friendly little ol' fandom to join? Tired of hearing Author Lady here drone on and on about the Kirby crew? Wanting some Kirby-related laughs? Well, look no further! I'm Magolor, and today I'll be writing about Dreamland and its inhabitants. What?! No Author Lady, at all?! [shocking]
Well that's right folks! Just me, myself, and I!
Magolor + Education = FUN!
*Author Lady's note: I'm hoping Magolor will put himself to good use for once, plus I thought this would be a nice way to end the year off. Hopefully this was a good idea; Magolor, I'm counting on you.*
Disclaimer: All Kirby characters belong to their respective owners, i.e. Nintendo and HAL Labs. The Kirby franchise belongs to their respective owners, i.e. Nintendo and HAL Labs. All OCs belong to their respective owners.
*THERE MAY BE A FEW SPOILERS IN THE INHABITANT HISTORIES AND STUFF. READ AT OWN RISK.*
[I'll also probably be editing some stuff that Magolor left out here and there. Basically saying that this is a work-in-progress.]
"So this story is essentially an encyclopedia containing everything there is to know about Dream Land, as told by me, of course. Not much to this one, but it sounds like it should be a lot of fun to read, so let's get started."
"We begin with a little foreword written by yours truly…"
Heyo! This is your favorite Halcandran, Magolor, writing everything here on this page today.
YES
I AM WRITING
I LOVE THIS POWER SO MUCH
"I know," Magolor said, feeling extraordinarily giddy. "I love it too. Gives you goosebumps, doesn't it?"
Well, I'm just scribbling everything out. Author Lady's typing it up for me 'cause my glove-finger thingies don't work well for typing. I try hitting one key and then end up hitting five other different letters. :/ Typical.
So, what's this book thingie I'm writing here? WELLLL, it's gonna be a little Dreamland almanac, of all the Dreamland inhabitants and places and important stuff. And I'LL BE WRITING ALL OF IT MUAHAHAHAHA
SO MUCH POWER
"Enjoy it while you can, buddy," Magolor chuckled, shaking his head. "I betcha Author Lady's going to censor you out and write her own thing, just like CNN." He sat there in silence for a moment before commenting, "Yeah, that's right. I'm making political commentary now."
"Anyway, next chapter marks the actual start of the guide, and we begin the only way possible— by talking about Kirby."
Name: Kirby
[a.k.a. Kirbs, Kaabi, Warrior of the Stars, Kirby of the Stars]
Gender: Male
Appearance: Pink, round ball of kindness with these big magenta feet that he can somehow run and skip with without falling flat on his face. Quite impressive.
"Setting aside the obvious inaccuracy that his feet are red instead of magenta, I have to agree: I don't understand how Kirby is able to walk with those feet. In fact, how can anyone walk in Kirby games? Apart from Adeleine, no one has legs, just feet. How is that supposed to work? MatPat, start taking notes!"
Personality: He has to be the kindest dude I know. Like, he's still my friend even though, err, I MIGHT have betrayed him?
... Yeah, still working out the details.
"You don't have to lie, man. It's been almost ten years. Just about everyone knows what you've done by now."
Powers: He can inhale any creature or object, copy its abilities, and then use those abilities to his advantage. I'm told the creature/ object usually stays unharmed unless if he wishes to harm the creature.
You have to watch him in action, though. VERY cool. Much applause.
He also knows a few moves of his own, and has this really cool Warp Star majingie that he travels and surfs the world on. I'm hoping to get one for my birthday some day, but I heard only Star Warriors have Warp Stars.
[Star Warrior: A soldier that waged war against Nightmare, the big baddie of the galaxy. They also fought against Nightmare's minions. All of them died in the war except for Meta Knight, and Kirby came after the war happened, so thus, the two known Star Warriors alive. Very sad, I know.]
History: It's not certain. All we know is that he crashed down on Dreamland in a star ship from space, previously in hyper sleep. It's all very confusing. Then he started battling the monsters that were sent after him by King Dedede, and by extension, Nightmare. Yup, kinda complicated, but I'm sure things will straighten out later, when I describe the fabulous tyrant we all love: King Dedede.
"Why do people always combine the game canon with the anime canon and act like they're the same?" Magolor asked. "I don't have a problem with it, it's just that they're so obviously different. If you're gonna mix the two together, I'd like at least some kind of disclaimer, please."
My Opinion on Kirby:
KIRBY IS LIKE
#1 PUFF
BEST PUFF I HAVE MET TO DATE
He's a pretty cool friend to have, and he's practically like family to me. We were once enemies, but now we're close pals; that's how kind Kirby is.
"But that's also because he'll beat me up if I don't be nice to him. That's not a big problem, though, so things are usually pretty chill between us."
I personally think Meta Knight should be more like him.
[DID'YA HEAR THAT, METY?!]
Author Lady's note: Please ignore the above sentence, Meta. Magolor's simply being himself. Also try not to anger Meta Knight and his fangirls, Mags. I don't think you'd want a mob of people chasing after you.
"Don't worry, Author Lady," Magolor smugly replied. "I'm used to it."
"So with that smooth transition, we move on to the next chapter, which is about Meta Knight."
Name: Meta Knight
[a.k.a. Mety, Mety Not, Mety Knot, Meta, Mexican Vampire, Knight of the Galaxy, the Strongest Warrior, the Lone Soldier]
Gender: Male
[and in my opinion, a cranky one :/ ]
Author Lady's note: Magolor, if you can't write Meta Knight without coming off as extremely biased, I'm taking your pencil away for this chapter.
[Okay, okay, fine. He's not that cranky. He's mainly just cranky and grumpy and stuff to me.]
"Oh, come now," Magolor said. "It's not like you don't deserve it."
Appearance: Round, blue puffball with fuchsia-magenta feet that he usually covers up with purple armor and black socks. He typically wears a silver metal mask and shoulder shield thingies that are dark gray, presumably for protection, though, honestly he could do away with the mask. I'm not sure why he always keeps it on, even when he's sleeping.
He also wears white gloves and a Dimensional cape that can morph into wings, and wields the all-powerful sword, Galaxia.
[Galaxia: A powerful sword crafted by the ruler of the fire people, and can only be held by the chosen warrior(s).]
Not to mention that heavily accented voice of his.
AHAHAHA how could one forget? ^^^
"Hey!" Magolor shouted, slamming his hands down on the table. "Don't make fun of Meta Knight's accent! It's the best part of the Kirby anime, and if you disagree, then you have no soul!"
Personality: Uh, what personality? I see none.
Author Lady's note: MAGOLOR.
Hey, I'm speaking the truth! He's always a big pain in the neck when I talk to him!
"Again, you brought that on yourself. Stop acting like you did nothing wrong."
Author Lady's note: :/ Fine, then I'll describe him. Meta Knight's your typical knight: chivalrous, honorable, and fearless. He's also quite observant, intelligent, and clever, as well as stealthy and knowledgeable, probably due to his overflowing experience in the army. He's made many girls swoon, I'm sure, with his noble actions and epicness-
Like that isn't biased. You're basically one of his fangirls.
I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that. Meta Knight is very protective of the people he loves and cares for, though he doesn't tend to show it too often. He tries to retain a stoic, nonchalant demeanor and doesn't show his emotions externally save for his eyes when he's wearing his mask. His eyes will turn different colors with his mask on, depending on what mood he's in. He's also quite wise and can detect most things easily, like lies or underlying motives.
"Well, he didn't seem to notice my evil plan," Magolor commented. "Or maybe he did, and just decided to see where it goes. It's hard to tell with that guy."
Powers: Oh, gosh, he has a lot of powers.
That's probably how he got banned from Smash for being so OP.
Mags... -_-
Hey, I'm just stating the facts here.
"Why does that warrant an 'smh' moment from the Author Lady? If anything, that was a compliment."
My Opinion on Meta Knight:
Honestly, even though we have a bit of hatred going on, he's a pretty cool guy. I get why he's always suspicious of me and stuff, I guess.
Author Lady, some input?
Well, I think Meta Knight is pretty epic, and a really cool puffball to be around. I'd love to hug him one day, but I don't think he'd be happy with that. He's a great puff once you get to know him, and I hope he and Mags actually get along one day. It'd be nice to have them talk to each other like civilized puffballs without trying to shred the other to pieces.
Tough luck. That's never going to happen.
"I have to agree here. Meta Knight has a thing for holding grudges…"
"Whatever. Next chapter!"
Name: [King] Dedede
[a.k.a. Fatso, Dedede, the king, the blue penguin, tyrant]
Gender: Male
[He's quite the selfish, greedy king, though he still has some good inside of him.]
"Some good."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Magolor asked. "Are you saying he can't be nice? Have you played the games? He's done some good things!"
King Dedede is basically a blue, chubby penguin with red and yellow clothes. He has this big fluffy red robe, and some pajama-esque tan clothing-
Magolor…
Hey, I'm tellin' the truth like it is!
"What's your problem, Author Lady? I don't see any problems here."
He also has this red beanie-hat thing with a white pom on the top and golden stuff lining the bottom, and wields a big, scary hammer used to knock "dat dere Kirbeh" out into space.
Wow, such amazing spelling.
Hey, I'm not wrong, am I?
"He's right, you know. You can't talk about Dedede without bringing up his voice from the anime.
Anime!Dedede: I'LL KICK DAT KIRBEH TO DA KIRB!
Personality: Let's be real; Dedede's probably more of a glutton than Meta Knight is.
*sigh.* Magolor…
It's true! Haven't you seen his kitchen and all the dishes he's served daily? It's incredible!
"Besides, it wouldn't be true if there weren't…" he paused, counting on his fingers, "four games that showcased it."
He's also kind of a tsundere…
Magolor was flabbergasted for a brief moment, trying to stifle a laugh, until he said, "Bro, you did not go there. You didn't. I refuse to believe that you did."
I mean, he does care about Dreamland and "Kirbeh," although he tries to hide it by fighting Kirby all the time with his hammer and a bunch of monsters from N.M.E. So he's a tsundere: cold on the outside, but caring on the inside!
"That…" he began, ready to off on a frustration-induced tangent, until suddenly calming down and saying, "...that actually makes sense."
Hmm... but... despite his many flaws, Triple D DID help me find the Lor Starcutter, so…
[And uh, I might have betrayed him and he might have forgiven me...]
So I guess he is a decent penguin after all. A selfish, jerk-y, decent penguin.
"Which means we don't have to talk about him anymore," Magolor quickly said. "Next!"
Name: Escargoon [the Snail]
[a.k.a. escargot, stuck-up lil shotzo, Dedede's Right-Hand Man]
Gender: Male
[literally the most stuck-up, arrogant, insufferable snail you will EVER meet]
Magolor, uh, let's try to stay unbiased, shall we?
"Again, I'm a little ticked off that we're mixing in things from the anime, but whatever, let's see where this goes."
Appearance: Light purple-ish icky snail body, weird facial hair (how do snails even have facial hair?), teal eyes, green snail shell that's more like a teal mixture of green than it is REAL green, y'know, but-
Magolor, don't go off topic on me AGAIN. "Real" green?
Okay, but REAL green. REALLLL-
Alright, we're moving onto the next trait.
HEY
"What even is 'Real Green?'" Magolor thought out loud. "Is it the green I wore when I was a shopkeeper that one time? Because if it is, then I could imagine that looking pretty good on him."
Personality: A smarter version of King Dedede? Yeah, way smarter. He has his good moments, but far, far more bad moments, lemme tell ya', always meddlesome and sticking his stuck-up nose into other matters and acting all high and almighty icantstandit-
Objectivity, Mags.
AM I WRONG
I mean, I guess he's OKAY. He does suck up to Dedede a lot (though that's his job) and is pretty witty with his insults. I like his insults.
That
okay.
"I agree."
Ehhh, I guess he's alright. Pretty smart, too. A different color shell would really liven up his skin a bit though-
…
No, like really! REAL green works wonders, hon. You wouldn't know because Escargoon here doesn't have REAL green on his shell.
...
"Yeah, that's pretty much it for this story," Magolor said. "It's not awful, but it's not awesome or cool or anything like that. I guess it's just one of those stories you would read when you're bored. I suggest you go on Wattpad and check out this story for yourself. I don't see any harm in it."
"I'm Magolor, and this is officially the end of Magolor May!" He got up from his seat and headed off to the right.
The End
Special Thanks
Channel Awesome
Keldeo the Critic by Matthais Unidostres
Kirby H by DokiDokiTsuna
Game Theory
HAL Laboratory
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