(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)
Magolor's Coffeehouse
Episode 07: Adeleine's Artistic Return by DarkRedPsycho92
TinyURL: yxtry3n6
Magolor sat at his usual seat at the Kirby Café. He clapped his hands together and said, "Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Magolor's Coffeehouse!"
"Sorry I've been away for so long, but this is a special occasion and I needed to make sure everything was perfect. So I invited my good friend Adeleine to help celebrate this momentous occasion!"
Indeed, Adeleine was sitting right next to him, looking terribly confused.
"...You still haven't told me why I'm here," she said at last.
"You really don't know?" Magolor asked incredulously. "I figured you, of all people, would remember what happened on this day last year."
"Oh, yeah! Didn't Stephen Hawking die on this day last year?"
"No. I'm talking about something much better: today marks the one-year anniversary of Version 3.0.0 of Kirby Star Allies!"
Adeleine's eyes lit up, sparkling with blindingly bright stars. "Sweet Nova, yes! That was the best day of my life! I was so relieved that HAL Laboratory hadn't forgotten about me!"
"And you weren't the only one with that mindset!" Magolor beamed. "Kirby fans all over the world went nuts after seeing your reveal. This rabid appreciation for you is what spawned the fanfic that we're going to review today."
Adeleine's Artistic Return
By: DarkRedPsycho92
A story of how Adeleine and Ribbon come back as Dream Friends in Star Allies.
"I'm not going to waste any time here and get straight to the story for you guys," Magolor said.
"But you usually give your opening thoughts at this part," Adeleine mentioned.
"Nah, I'm not feeling it. Anyway, let's begin."
As a Kirby fan, I always enjoy playing Kirby's series of games that's been out on each consoles, Kirby's Dream Land and Kirby's Dream Land 2 for the Game Boy, Kirby's Adventure for the NES, Kirby Super Star and Kirby's Dream Land 3 for the SNES, Kirby and the Amazing Mirror for the GBA, Kirby Triple Deluxe for the 3DS, but there was one that was considered a favorite in my collection, Kirby 64 The Crystal Shards.
I remember the day it came out back in the year 2000, I was only 8 years old back then. Although I didn't get it on the N64, I had it as a Virtual Console on my Wii years later, the game may looked simple and colorful, but there are some levels that were challenging, which made it more fun to play.
"Okay, this opening feels like it belongs in one of those creepypastas," Magolor commented.
"Yeah, it kinda does," Adeleine said. "And not a good one, either."
I even remember the cast of characters that were in The Crystal Shards, Kirby, everyone's favorite adorable pink puffball, Waddle Dee, the trusting companion, King Dedede, Kirby's classic rival who's now a helpful ally, Ribbon, the small yet cheerful fairy from Ripple Star who companies Kirby and friends to reform the Crystals. But of all of them, one stood out very particular among the group, and it's safe to say that I like this character very much... Adeleine.
She was a young artist, what made her more interesting among Kirby characters, she was the only human in Pop Star, most denizens of Pop Star always have either a round shape or an oval shape, Adeleine on the other hand, is something that came to Pop Star by an unexpected surprise. When I first saw her while playing that game the first time, she was drawing on her easel, then noticed the crystal shard near her, but the Dark Matter showed up on her easel and ended up possessing her, I did got startled that occurred to her of all characters.
A mini boss fight started, and the possessed Adeleine began drawing creatures from her easel, fortunately for me, I mixed the Ice ability with the Electric Ability to make Food Fridge, I did shoot out food with precise aim, and each of her drawings were defeated one after another. Eventually, the possessed Adeleine got so mad, she jumped off the stump and charged while swinging her brush wildly, I easily jumped over her, but I realized that one of the food was laying on the ground and she was going to run into it. It was a hot dog, I watched as the possessed Adeleine made contact with it, and flew off screen, I did laughed more than I should have, but I did felt a bit bad for it.
After the mini boss fight, the Dark Matter was released from Adeleine, she was no longer possessed, Kirby and Waddle Dee high fived each other as they claimed a crystal shard, Adeleine, now back to normal, decided to aid Kirby on his adventure, they agreed to have her join in, which made me smile a lot, that goes to show that Kirby may be the proclaimed Star Warrior, but he can also be merciful and kind to friends alike.
Adeleine donned a confused expression. "Is this a Fanfiction or a Wiki article?"
"It's sad when you can't tell the difference."
As I progressed further in the game, Adeleine does provide hints on puzzles and on some occasions, draw a Maxim Tomato or a 1-up, I always found her to be very reliable compared to Waddle Dee and King Dedede.
After I collected every crystal shards and beat every bosses, all that's left was to take down Zero Two, he was quite tough, since his attacks spread out and trying to avoid the explosions at the same time was tricky to me, so I mostly focused on dodging them rather than shooting him straight at his eye. After shooting at Zero Two long enough, he became stunned, I then shoot at his halo which changed to yellow, to blue, to green, to orange, to pink, and to red, shooting out his halo revealed his true weak spot, a thorny branch that sprouted below him, I shoot as fast and as much as I can, eventually defeating Zero Two.
Kirby and his friends were honored in a ceremony in Ripple Star, each of them were awarded with medallions with crystal shards on them, Kirby got more than just a medallion, he got a kiss from Ribbon, his entire face was glowing pink, he got so dazed from that kiss, he ended up falling off a small set of stairs, which always makes me laugh.
"Will you shut up!?" Magolor shouted. "We don't need a detailed explanation on the events of the game. We're obviously reading this online right now, so we can easily just look it up on Google once we're finished."
After completing it one hundred percent and finishing the Boss Rush, I wondered to myself if they would ever bring back Adeleine again in future Kirby games, only time and fate would tell if they did at least gave her an appearance or cameo.
As the years went by, more Kirby games were made on different consoles, I was more than eager to see if they did brought back Adeleine, I've seen videos of the new Kirby games that came out over the years, yet I never saw the familiar painter girl, I was feeling a bit worried that Nintendo and Hal Laboratory forgot about her, a character that I holded near and dear to my heart, the games did looked really fun, yet Adeleine was nowhere found nor mentioned.
Kirby Air Ride, nothing, Kirby Canvas Curse, nothing, Kirby Super Star Ultra, nothing, Kirby Mass Attack, nothing, Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, nothing, Kirby Triple Deluxe, nothing.
I was really starting to lose hope, that she was becoming nothing more than a memory, when Kirby Planet Robobot came out, I had all my fingers crossed, praying that she might show up, but the results was just like the same... No sign of Adeleine, not an appearance, not a cameo, not even a mention, but only as a sticker.
My heart was broken, after years of being missing, she only showed up as a sticker to customize the Mech Armor, the only words that came out of my mouth was "...Something better than nothing, but it's not enough."
Magolor, looking slightly disgruntled, said, "Look, buddy, if it upsets you, why don't you go complain on some message board or something. Or better yet, start a review show like me. That way, you can complain about stuff and act like you know what you're talking about."
"So our nameless narrator continues to gripe about Adeleine's abandonment like Gumball in a typical Season 3 episode, when the story suddenly— and I do mean suddenly— finally begins.
Upon shedding another tear, my prayer was answered, a portal opened up near my bed, an image was clearing up on the portal, I couldn't believe my eyes, it was a planet shaped like a star and had two rings around it, the only words that I muttered was "...Pop Star..."
Magolor stared forward blankly, but sprung back to life shortly after.
"Really?" he asked, clearly disgruntled. "A portal? Really? That's the best you can come up with?
"What's wrong with it?" Adeleine asked her upset friend.
"I hate it when writers do this! It sickens me when they do something as lazy as this! Throwing in some random portal does not make for creative storytelling. It's lazy and it's just not fun."
"Didn't 087-B do something like that?" Adeleine mentioned.
"Yeah, but at least he was able to make it work."
"So our narrator goes through the portal because he's so smart," Magolor said sarcastically, "and he begins his grossly forced quest."
A little further ahead, there was sign that had multiple directions, to the left it said "Cappy Town", to the right it said "Green Greens", and to the middle it said "King Dedede's Castle". I went to the left to make my way to Cappy Town, I thought to myself "I hope the natives don't freak out about seeing me as an alien or whatnot."
As I walked into the town, a couple of townsfolk did looked at me, they didn't looked worried or even the slightest concerned, one of them walked up to me and said "Why hello, stranger! Welcome to Cappy Town! My name is Sir Ebrum, and who might you be?" I was surprised on how he greeted me like I was like a visitor from another town, or in this case, another world. "Uh... The names Alejandro Lira, I'm from the Planet Earth." I introduced myself.
Sir Ebrum then shakes my hand in delight. "Well good day to you, Alejandro of Earth, we're more than happy to enjoy your visit here. I do have a question to ask you, kind sir." He added. "How did you come here to Pop Star, by any means?" I scratched the back of my head while replying to him, "Funny thing, I came here from a portal, it transported me here."
Sir Ebrum brushed his mustache. "A portal, you say? That's surprisingly interesting. It's very rare for portals to show up out of nowhere and bring out beings from another world,
"Pssh, you're telling me," Magolor said.
I responded to Sir Ebrum. "I'm a human, and no need to be concerned about me Sir, I come in peace." He gasped in surprise. "Ooh, a human! That's something you don't see everyday. The last time I saw a human was a long time ago, and if I'm right, that person lives far off town, in the middle of Green Greens."
I then gasped in shock and surprise. "A... another human?... is that human... by chance... named..." I gulped in nervousness. "...Adeleine?" Sir Ebrum thought for a second. "Hmmm... now that you mentioned it... it could. All I remember is that it did started with an A."
I slowly fell to my knees, started taking deep breaths, my heartbeat was speeding up. "Oh my god, this could finally be my chance! Which way in Green Greens I can find that house that's far off town!" I quickly asked Sir Ebrum, he then said "I'm not sure, to be honest, but I know Kirby can help you lead the way. His house is just up that hill."
"Or, you know, you could just follow that sign you saw a few paragraphs back," Magolor shrugged. "Just sayin'."
Adeleine put her hands on her hips and glared at Magolor. "Are you just joke around and make insults the whole time?"
"I'm not joking around," Magolor replied. "I'm pointing out the inadequacy of our main character and this story's lazy writing."
"You could make that a bit more obvious. I mean, not everyone has the same thought process as you."
"Fair point."
"So Alejandro, our lovely protagonist," Magolor continued sarcastically, "heads up to Kirby's house, hoping that he can help him find Adeleine."
He pointed East of Cappy Town, I got back up on my feet and replied to him "Thank you, kind sir, I'm going to need all the help I need for this!" I ran my way up the hill, I almost tripped while running, but I regained balance and kept my running motion in rhythm. Soon enough, I found a small, half-circled house at the top of the hill, before I could stop, I did tripped on a star shaped rock, lunging me a few feet ahead and landed face first on the ground.
I was a little dazed from the faceplant, but surprisingly, the ground wasn't hard at all, so it didn't hurt as much, I brushed the dirt off with my hands, then said to myself "That's not how I want to make a front door welcome." After dusting myself off, I looked at the house in front of me, I then said "...Kirby's House... this will be a complete honor seeing him in person!"
I gently knocked on the door, then waited a few seconds, the door opened slowly, my excitement was slowly growing, I couldn't wait any more to see Kirby with my own eyes. When the door opened, I saw... nothing... my excitement stopped instantly, I looked around to see if anyone was in here.
"Hello? Anyone?... Kirby?..." I was confused, why would he not be in his house? Why isn't he in his bed? He's quite the sleepy head at this time of day. Was he already busy saving Pop Star from threats? Nothing added up.
"Well, that ends out our story," Magolor said, rising from his chair. "I'm outta here."
"Magolor!" Adeleine shouted. "The story isn't over!"
"I know. I'm just getting bored."
Then I heard a squeaky child-like voice, it sounded very near.
"Poyo?..." I quickly looked around to see where that voice came from, yet I still saw nothing, then I felt my ankle getting tugged slowly, I then looked down, there he was. "Poyo?" Standing at only eight inches, the round, pink puffball was staring up to my eyes, my mind was moving at insane speeds, I couldn't believe my own eyes that I was looking at the one and only Kirby.
I was silent for a whole minute, he was still tugging at my ankle, my heart was beating very fast. "Poyo?" Kirby said again, I couldn't say anything, my mind went completely numb, I slowly leaned back and passed out, hitting the ground with a loud thump.
Minutes later, I slowly regained consciousness, Kirby was sitting on my chest, seeing if I was going to wake up, I looked to the left, then to the right, then in front of me, he was waiting for me to react. I wanted to make a great first impression to Kirby, but didn't want to embarrass myself in the process, so I kindly said to him "Hi Kirby."
Magolor looked at Adeleine, who sat with wide, sparkly eyes and a dopey smile.
"Aww. How cute," she cooed.
"Oh sweet Nova," Magolor groaned. "I gotta balance out this cuteness."
He pulled out a remote and pressed the big red button on it. The screen turned to static, which was soon replaced by footage of Marx Soul screaming in Kirby Super Star Ultra. After the nightmarish clip, the screen returned to Magolor and Adeleine, who was now back to normal.
"There. Much better."
He responded a few seconds later saying "Poyo." I couldn't tell what he meant to say, so I said hi to him again, Kirby still said "Poyo." I gently held him with my hands, then slowly moved him aside, and got back up on my feet. I was excited to see Kirby, but I was puzzled that he didn't say anything other than poyo, so I tried talking to him slowly.
"Hello... Kirby...my name... is Alejandro... it's an honor... to meet you..." Kirby tilted to the left, then said "Poyo?" I still couldn't tell what he meant. "Do you... remember... someone... by the name of... Adeleine?..." Kirby placed his right arm to the side of is head. "Poyo?" I facepalmed myself.
Detective Pikachu: I know you can't understand me… but put down the stapler or I... will e-lec-tro-cute… you!
"Ugh, this is getting me nowhere."
"It took you this long to figure it out?" Magolor griped.
"Give him a break," said Adeleine. "Maybe he just didn't know that Kirby can't talk."
"Oh, sure. The biggest Kirby fan in the world doesn't know that Kirby only speaks in 'Poyo's."
Adeleine hesitated, but she ultimately conceded and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"So Alejandro heads to the forest because Adeleine lives just past it," Magolor continued, "But then he gets lost because he's an idiot."
I was exausted and frustrated, I sat next to a big tree, thinking about retracing my steps, but probably assuming that it'll be the same results. "I can help you find the way out." A mysterious voice responded to me, I quickly jumped up in surprise, looking around to see who said it. "Who are you? Present yourself."
The tree I was sitting nearby began to move, holes appeared on the tree, forming two eyes and a mouth. "I am Whispy Woods, and if you want to reach the other side of this forest, you need to heed my words, traveler." I wasn't expecting to communicate with a talking tree, but if he was willing to help me find the exit, I needed to listen to his advice.
Whispy Woods: despacito
Adeleine glared at Magolor, to which he responded by shrugging and saying, "What? I got bored."
"But in all seriousness," Magolor continued, "why is our protagonist such an idiot? He's in a forest on Planet Popstar, for crying out loud. How could he not expect Whispy to show up at some point?"
"So anyway, Whispy tells our incredibly incompetent main character that to exit this obligatory forest maze, he has to follow the path that has star-shaped flowers…"
"I've gotta make sure to take the path that has star flowers." I thought to myself, looking at each route had different flowers, the left path had a diamond flower, the middle path had a heart flower, and the right path had the star flower. "That way."
I took the right way, I followed the route and saw three more paths, I looked at each one to see which one had the star flower next to it. "Heart flower on the right? Nope. Diamond flower on the middle? Nope. Star flower on the left? Yup."
I took the left path. As I walked down the path, birds were singing on nearby trees, and small rays of sunlight were beaming down from the tall trees that cover this forest, I then said to myself "Jeez, this forest is bigger than I thought it would be."
Another trio of paths were in front of me. "Diamond on right? Nope. Heart on the left? Nope. Star on the middle? That's the one." I took the middle route.
"Dude, could you shut up?" Magolor blurted.
"Normally, I'd slap you and give you another seminar on manners," Adeleine began, "but I honestly have to agree with you. These four paragraphs could easily be condensed into one by leaving out unnecessary details and things we could figure out by ourselves."
"There's a saying we online critics have," Magolor added, "and I think it fits this situation well: Show, don't tell."
"So he makes it out of the forest and he finds Adeleine's house. Bandana Dee and King Dedede show up too, no doubt only coming here to be a part of this mega-happy reunion party. Also, Kirby's here and he's doing cute stuff."
"Oh, it's you again." I told to Kirby as I crossed my arms. "I don't want to be rude, but you couldn't even make a first impression to me, not even a smile or you saying hi to me, all you said was just poyo, and I don't have a clue what that means."
I slowly turned away from Kirby. Kirby then walked around me to make eye contact, he looked up to my somewhat scowling face, he then smiled sweetly to me and said "...Hi." and waved his hand to me. The way he said it was no doubt pure, I wanted to smile back at him, but I kept my focus and retained a serious look on my face.
Magolor looked at Adeleine, who, once again, sat with wide, sparkly eyes and a dopey smile.
"Aww," she cooed.
"Here we go again," Magolor groaned.
He pulled out the same remote as before and pressed the big red button on it. The screen turned to static, which was soon replaced by a clip from a Kirby game. This time, the clip features Drawcia Soul's monstrous screech from Kirby Canvas Curse. Afterwards, the screen returned to Magolor and Adeleine, who had returned to her normal state.
Magolor sighed. "Perfectly balanced, as all things should be."
"So he knocks on the door and Adeleine comes out, leading to the huge mega-happy reunion I mentioned earlier. Honestly, I don't have any problems with this. Sure, it was corny, but I was fine with it. But near the end is when it starts to go too far."
"If only Ribbon was here to see this." I added. Adeleine gasped in surprise when she heard that name. "Ribbon! We haven't seen her in so long. Have you guys seen her?" Kirby, Bandana Waddle Dee and King Dedede looked at each other, then at me. "I think she's still in Ripple Star, guys." I said to them.
I then looked up to the sky, seeing if I could find Ripple Star. "I'm sure she's out there, waiting for us." Adeleine also looked up to the sky. "Maybe one day, we'll see Ribbon again soon." Kirby looked up to the sky. "Poyo..." Bandana Waddle Dee looked up to the sky. "Ribbon... I remember that name... she's the one that likes Kirby a lot, right?" King Dedede looked up to the sky as well. "You know, I do miss that little fairy girl, maybe soon she'll come back."
"Oh, wow," Magolor said sarcastically. "Do you think you can make this setup any more obvious?"
"So yeah, Ribbon shows up," Adeleine said, "and I agree, her appearance does feel uncomfortably forced."
Ribbon stopped as she saw familiar faces, especially at a pink puffball with blue eyes. "Poyo?" Said Kirby. Ribbon gasped at the sight of him. "KIRBY!" Ribbon yelled happily as she flew to Kirby to hug him. "I missed you so much, it's been so long!" Ribbon nuzzled at him, Kirby was looking rather confused.
"It's Ribbon, Kirby. She kissed you when you defeated Zero-Two." I said to Kirby, trying to make him remember. Kirby then had a flashback, remembering that moment Ribbon kissed him. "...Ribbon?" Said Kirby, who was looking straight at her. "Yes, Kirby. It's me, Ribbon." Kirby then smiled at her. "Ribbon!" He happily hugged Ribbon. "I'm so glad you remember me, it's brings so much joy to see you again." Ribbon said while she and Kirby embraced happily together.
"The gangs all here." I said, seeing Kirby and Ribbon hugging each other. "Awww, they're so cute together." Said Adeleine, placing her hands on her chest, adoring the moment Kirby and Ribbon are having. "I couldn't agree more, that is undeniably adorable." I responded to Adeleine, seeing those two together was downright precious.
Suddenly, the screen turned to static and is replaced with footage of Kirby's Return to Dream Land, specifically, Magolor Soul's death scream (the one where he shouts Kirby's name over and over). Then, the screen returned to the two reviewers.
"But I wasn't overcome by cuteness that time," Adeleine said, turning to Magolor.
"Heh, sorry," Magolor replied, scratching his neck. "It's a reflex."
"I still can't believe that it's been 18 years." I said. Ribbon them looked at me in surprise. "18 years? That long?" I replied to Ribbon. "Yes, that long." Ribbon then looked back at Kirby. "Wow, time sure flies. And speaking of time..." Ribbon pulls out an envelope from her small pockets. "This came in for us, Adeleine." Adeleine raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Us? Who is it from?" She asked Ribbon while scratching the side of her head. "It's doesn't say who made this, it just says "To Adeleine and Ribbon". Queen Ripple told me that it was a message from the heavens, so this could be very important to us."
Ribbon said as she slowly opens the envelope. I was very eager to know what that message would say, hoping that Adeleine and Ribbon could show up for the first time in so many years. "Fingers crossed, Adeleine, this could be destiny in the making." I said to Adeleine as I crossed my fingers.
Adeleine crosses her fingers too. "I'm just as anticipated as you are, Alejandro." She replied to me while waiting for Ribbon to read the message. Kirby, Bandana Waddle Dee and King Dedede all looked at Ribbon in anticipation, Adeleine and I had our fingers crossed, Ribbon then started to read the message. "Congratulations, Adeleine and Ribbon, you two have been chosen to be Kirby's Dream Friend in Kirby Star Allies!"
"Woohoo!" Adeleine shouted. "Happy ending! Right, Magolor?"
"What are you talking about? Nothing happened."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Alejandro did nothing to bring you back into the spotlight. He didn't bring that letter; Ribbon did. He could've just stayed at home crying his eyes out, and nothing would have changed."
Adeleine sighed and planted her head into the table. "I hate it when you're right."
"So after some dialogue that I don't particularly care about, our useless husk of a protagonist returns home."
I then checked the time and date on my phone. "12:00 a.m., July 5th, 2018." I thought I would've been gone in weeks or months, but it seemed time must've stopped as soon as I went in that portal. I then got a notification on Twitter, the Kirby Twitter page revealed the 3rd Dream Friend of the Second Wave Update, I watched the video, within seconds, the Dream Friend reveal was none other than Adeleine and Ribbon themselves.
"There they are, ready to show the world that they're back." I smiled upon seeing them both. As soon as the reveal trailer was done, the screen on my phone went all static. "Huh... that's something you don't see everyday." I said to myself. Few seconds later, the static cleared out, and it showed Adeleine, Ribbon, Kirby, Bandana Waddle Dee and King Dedede. "No worries, Alejandro, we wanted to do a quick video chat."
Magolor thought for a second and then said, "I have a lot of questions floating around in my head, the biggest one being 'How?'"
"Anyway, that's about it. I'll be honest, I don't really have much to say about this story. There's a lot of gripes I have about it, sure, but I'm kinda okay with them, too. Personally, I give this story a firm 'meh.'"
"I thought it was pretty nice," Adeleine said, "It was really nice of the author to write this. I'm glad that people love me enough to write these kinds of stories about me."
"Yeah, you're right," Magolor concurred. "I guess, in the end, it's not about writing something that rivals the complete works of William Shakespeare. It's about an avid fan of the Kirby franchise writing a Fanfiction about their favorite character. And for that, you've earned my respect, DarkRedPsycho92. Not a lot of my respect, but you've earned my respect."
"Well, that's the end. I'm Magolor…"
"...and I'm Adeleine…"
"...and this was Magolor's Coffeehouse."
Magolor and Adeleine stood up and walked off to the left.
The End
Performed by Magolor and Adeleine
Special Thanks
Channel Awesome
Keldeo the Critic by Matthais Unidostres
Kirby H by DokiDokiTsuna
The Amazing World of Gumball by Ben Bocquelet
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu
Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee
HAL Laboratory
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