Edward seems to be coming around, huh? Let's see if it holds.
I don't own Twilight.
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BPOV
The blinding LA sunlight pierced the tiny slit between my eyelids and I groaned out loud. For just a second I missed the eternal gloom of Forks. My eyelids felt like they'd been lined with sandpaper. And my teeth felt like they were wearing sweaters. And my head…. Ugh. What the fuck?
I laid perfectly still for a few minutes, eyes squeezed shut, letting last night reassemble itself in my brain. It started with shopping. Yes, with Alice and Rose. Trying on lots of clothes. Okay so far. I remember all of that. Ah, yes, rich people shopping. A glass of wine with every outfit. Hmmm…
Tapas. Yes, Rose and Alice laughing hysterically about the cute waiter's ass in a tapas restaurant while we drank sangria. So. Much. Sangria. And now I feel like a freight train hit me.
Wait. After tapas. Edward's house. I went to Edward's house? Christ, I am an idiot. I had vague memories of talking to him. Of him smiling indulgently at my drunk-ass self. Ugh. So freaking embarrassing. I can't believe I did that.
Oh! My truck! I remembered that, leaving it at the studio and Edward said…
The world lurched unpleasantly as I scrambled out of bed and I clutched the bedside table to steady myself. I made it to the window and cracked the blinds. I squinted against the fierce LA sunshine and the accompanying stab of pain in my head. I focused and there it was. My ancient rusted red pickup truck, parked in front of my house. I still couldn't believe it had made the trip from Seattle. So what if it had taken me four days? Emmett, Rose and Jasper couldn't believe I'd wanted to bring it, but it felt…familiar. Comforting.
Edward had brought it back to my house for me. Or maybe he had someone else do it. Either way it was…nice. Considerate. Hmmm. Edward Cullen had been considerate. I didn't know what to make of that.
Coffee. Shower. Those two overriding thoughts intruded into my brain. And it was almost 11:30. I needed to get moving. We were supposed to go watch that baseball game today and he'd be here soon.
Thirty minutes later I was showered and had a cup of coffee in hand and feeling marginally more human, although still miserable. I was passing my desk on the way to the bedroom to get dressed when I caught sight of my laptop and something Alice said yesterday came back to me. Pictures were all over the internet. Of us. I sat, fired up my laptop and opened a browser window. My fingers paused over the search box. Finally I typed in "Edward Bella" and hit return. There were thousands of hits. My stomach hit my feet in dread. The first page of results were a string of all the major gossip websites, D Listed, Perez Hilton, Just Jared, TMZ, Pop Sugar, Entertainment Weekly…
I clicked on the first one up and there they were, dozens of pictures of me and Edward from our first date. Us walking down the sidewalk on our way into Fez hand in hand, us talking at the table, and…oh, God…Edward leaning across me, his face buried in my hair, his lips dragging down my neck, my head thrown back and my eyes closed. My hand involuntarily crept up to touch the place on my neck where his lips had been and I felt my face flush at the memory. The memory that now apparently everyone in the country had shared with me.
But there was more. The two of us walking back to the parking lot, his arm cradling me, his hand stretched out in front of us warding off the paparazzi. Then I saw the rest. Edward pinning me against the car, kissing me, his hands gripping me, my hands in his hair. A hot flush raced across my body. Crap. I was just starting to feel normal around him and then I had to go and look at this.
I skimmed the short story accompanying the photos.
"It didn't take long for someone to snatch up Hollywood's new flavor of the month, Bella Swan, lead singer of Eclipse, this season's winner of America's Next Great Band. Ultra-hot Hollywood bad boy Edward Cullen apparently wasted no time in making his move after meeting her at a Hollywood nightspot just a week ago. The two were spotted Thursday night heading into the exclusive eatery, Fez. Witnesses inside the restaurant report that the two were clearly romantically involved.
'They were all over each other. They barely even ate, because they were so busy making out,' reports one fellow diner.
Photos of Cullen and Swan snapped in the parking lot just after dinner confirm the steamy nature of the relationship. Hollywood insiders are taking bets on just how long Bella Swan lasts, given Edward Cullen's notorious history with women.
Reps for both artists had no comment."
Fuck.
Flavor of the month? So busy making out that we didn't eat? People were taking bets on how long it would be until he kicked me to the curb?
Even though I knew every bit of it was a complete lie, it still managed to make me feel absolutely miserable. And humiliated. This part was way harder than I thought it would be. I felt sick to my stomach, and not just from my raging hangover.
I clicked the browser window closed and exhaled. Well, at least it was working. Anybody seeing those pictures and reading that story wouldn't doubt for a second that we were involved…intimately. But I also realized that I was going to have to go into information lockdown while we did this thing. I couldn't bear to see people dissect us…me like that. I felt so exposed and embarrassed. No, if we were going to keep "dating", I was unplugging my laptop and leaving it that way. If I didn't know about it, it couldn't freak me out.
With a glance at the clock, I realized I was way behind schedule. Edward was due in thirty minutes. I threw myself into my Alice-approved baseball outfit and faced the mirror for makeup. I looked horrible. You could see the hang over all over my face. I did a little eyeliner and of course, concealer for my drinking-induced dark circles. A little powder and lip gloss and I called it done. Nothing else would help anyway. My hair was still a little damp and I couldn't bear the thought of a hairdryer or a flat iron, so I pulled it up into a high ponytail. Then I slid on one of the many pairs of sunglasses Alice had picked out for me yesterday. She declared that they were a non-negotiable accessory, no matter what the outfit and considering the severity of my hang over combined with the relentless LA sunshine, I was grateful for them today. I examined Alice's handiwork in the full length mirror. I had to hand it to her, the girl had the mad shopping skills. I looked good. But still like me. Like a much hotter, better dressed version of me.
I was pleased to find myself, travel mug of coffee in hand, standing at the foot of my drive waiting on Edward right on time. I hadn't felt up to food yet, but I was nowhere near done with the coffee.
Edward's silver Volvo turned the corner in front of my house and he killed the engine before stepping out. He paused for a second, then crossed around the front of the car and threw me a hesitant little smile. He was dressed casually, jeans, and a t shirt again. Why did he get to wear normal clothes and I had to endure a six hour shopping marathon for this event? Fashion rules were so unfair. But then his eyes skated down the length of me quickly and I suddenly decided that maybe Alice was on to something. He still looked so damned good. Must not think about those pictures. Must not. It didn't help. I thought about them and flushed all over.
"How are you feeling?" he was trying to keep the smirk off his face and failing miserably.
"Shut up," I snarled, but without heat.
He laughed out loud. That was the first time I'd heard him do that when he was not in a movie. The sound was breathtaking. He settled me in the passenger seat and climbed back into his side.
"Um, thanks for getting my truck back last night."
"Sure, no problem." He shrugged without looking at me.
We drove for a moment in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt like we were getting used to each other. Well aside from that ever-present overwhelming physical attraction I felt for him every time he was near me. But I was getting better at pretending it wasn't there, at least.
"So..." I began, suddenly remembering something that puzzled me, "What's with the Volvo? Not exactly the kind of car I thought you'd go for."
He smirked. "Yeah, my car before this was a Bugatti Veyron."
"That's more like it. Why did you get rid of it?"
"I wrapped it around a guard rail. And broke my femur in two places. And spent three weeks in the hospital."
"Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh'," he gave a harsh little laugh. "That…ah…incident sort of precipitated this whole thing." He waved a hand between us to indicate our relationship. "The Volvo was my attempt to turn over a new leaf. No more sports cars."
"I get it. Too bad. I bet you miss it"
"Yeah, I do. And speaking of cars," the tone of his voice lightened considerably. "What the hell is up with that antique you're driving?"
"Hey! Back off my truck!" I warned. But I was used to it. I had endured years of teasing from Emmett, Jazz, and Rose about my truck. "Big Red and I go way back!"
"Big Red goes back about a generation before you were born, I think. You drove that thing all the way from Washington?"
"It's here, isn't it? And you need to show some respect for the elderly."
"Bella, seriously. I don't think that truck is safe. This is LA. What if you break down someplace when you're by yourself?"
"Cell phones, Edward."
He made an unhappy sound but he let it go. It was kind of nice that he sounded concerned about me…
Stop.
No more thinking like that. Period.
We were at the stadium now. Edward pulled up and a valet stepped forward to take the car. He looked like he'd been standing there waiting for us. The manager of the ballpark materialized at our sides, grinning from ear to ear, delighted to meet us. He escorted us personally to our box. Him and a wall of huge security guards. There was a massive scrum of paparazzi in the parking lot, barely held back by security, screaming questions at us and snapping pictures non-stop. I bet Aro and Laurent tipped the bastards off, damn them. Although I suppose that was the point of all this. I wondered for a moment exactly how many people and how many phone calls it had taken to orchestrate the simple act of Edward and I attending a baseball game and I felt exhausted.
Finally we were settled in our box alone. It was all glass on the sides and across the front, so we were clearly visible inside, like a big human fish tank. I tried to ignore the feeling that eyes were watching me from all sides, even though I knew that they were.
"Do you want something to eat?" Edward was asking.
I made a face and he laughed.
"Still hurting?"
"A little," I admitted.
"You need a hangover cure. Hang on." He stepped to the door of our box and spoke with the young man from security who was standing outside. He nodded, happy to carry out Edward's request, and got on his walkie talkie to arrange things. Edward came back and we watched the pre-game festivities below in silence for a few minutes.
The security guard knocked on the door and Edward sprang up to answer. He handed Edward a paper bag and Edward gave him a wad of cash, thanking him profusely. Edward handed me the bag.
"Eat."
"What's this?"
"Hangover cure. Just eat."
I pulled the food out of the bag. It was a sandwich, scrambled eggs, bacon and cheese on a roll. In spite of my sensitive insides, my mouth started to water. There was also a cup of coffee and a large bottle of water.
"You need the protein and the grease. It will help. Trust me. Eat that, drink the coffee, then drink the water. All of it."
I decided to do just that and dug into my sandwich. By the time I finished that and the coffee, I was feeling much better.
"You're right. It's working."
He shot me a smirk. "I know a thing or two about hangovers."
The game was starting and we both slouched half way down in our seats to get comfortable.
"Do you know how the game is played?" Edward asked.
I shot him a bemused look. "I grew up with a single dad, plus Emmett and Jasper in constant residence at my house. Yeah, I get baseball"
"Gotcha. So you're a baseball fan. Hmm."
"I didn't say I was a fan. I've just watched a lot of it."
"Oh. I see. I hope this isn't too boring for you."
I shrugged. "It's okay. We'll talk, I guess."
He shot a look at me.
"Sure. Talk."
I wanted to shoot myself. What a stupid boneheaded thing to say. Why the hell would he want to talk to me all afternoon? And now he'll feel like he has to. Ugh. I focused on the game as hard as I could for a while and didn't say anything, trying to make up for it.
"Hey, Bella?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm just thinking…well, it might look better if we hold hands. Is that alright with you?"
"Oh, sure! I wasn't thinking. Of course."
Edward reached over and plucked my right hand off my lap, twining my fingers in his. He rested our joined hands on his left thigh. Gah. Why the hell did that have to feel so damned good? I could hardly think of anything besides the feel of his fingers on my hand.
"So," he began, "Tell me about growing up in Forks."
I smiled at him. "Edward, I didn't mean we actually have to talk the whole time. We can just sit here, or you can watch the game. Whatever."
"No," he protested quickly, "I really want to know. I feel like I don't know a thing about you. And I feel like I should. Know something, I mean. Start with the band. How did you all meet?"
Our eyes met and I felt myself blush before I moved my eyes to look at something safer.
"Um, there's not much to tell, really. We all grew up together. I've known Emmett all my life of course, because he's my cousin. We met Rose and Jasper when we started kindergarten. Jasper took some guitar lessons when he was six and got hooked. He taught Rose everything as he learned it. When we were twelve, Jasper and Emmett decided to get together and play in the garage. Rose whined till they let her play, too. Then she turned out to be better than Jazz, so she took over guitar and he moved to bass. Emmett heard me singing one night while I was cooking dinner and they drafted me to sing with them. I was thirteen then. We've been together ever since. Sometimes we slacked off, it took a back burner for whatever reason, but it never really ended. Then a couple of years after we graduated high school, we decided it was time to move on. And Rose and I really wanted to take some classes at U Dub, so we moved to Seattle."
"Why didn't you go to college right after high school?"
I looked at him for a minute to see if he was being sarcastic, but his face was completely open and curious. Both he and Alice had dropped a few things in conversation that made me think they came from money, Edward's movie earnings completely aside. As far as I could gather, Alice didn't have anything like an actual job. Clearly Edward just really didn't understand how we'd grown up.
"Edward," I said slowly, "My dad is Chief of Police in a town with thirty five hundred people. A civil servant. Jasper and Rose's dad does small engine repair. Emmett's mom, my aunt Carol, is an elementary school secretary. His dad split years ago. Going away to college wasn't a realistic financial possibility for any of us. We all took some classes at the community college, but we had to work, too, so it was hard to get very far."
Edward looked away, focusing on the baseball field.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to be insensitive, I just didn't think…"
"Hey, it's no big deal. I'm not embarrassed or anything. We all did the best we could. And to be fair, the band was a big priority for us all, we didn't want to split up. If we'd just quit and focused on school it would have been a lot easier."
"But you wouldn't be here," he said with a smile.
I smiled back. "Yeah, here is pretty good." I meant the 'big" here, LA, the show, all of that. Somehow it came out sounding like I meant here with him. God, I am such a moron.
He just smiled back at me with an expression I couldn't read.
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EPOV
Damn.
Goddamn.
I couldn't quite wrap my brain around the curl of emotion in my chest when she smiled at me like that. What the fuck? Was I developing some stupid crush on her?
I couldn't deny that every time I touched her, and plenty of times when no touching was involved at all, I wanted to yank her to the nearest horizontal surface and bury myself in her. I was fucking desperate for her. But I was also getting pretty good at squashing that feeling down so that I could behave like a decent person. And I had to admit that I was getting pretty good at the decent person part. She was so much more at ease with me today than she had been that night at Fez. So that had to count as progress.
But was there something more at work here than just desire? I wasn't very familiar with such things. All of this, dates and ballgames and talking…not my scene. But I liked it. I think. I kept saying boneheaded things and stepping all over my dick, which was bothering the hell out of me. I mean, Jesus, that comment about college? I wanted to shoot myself. But she laughed it off and made so light of it that it wound up feeling like some freaking moment we were sharing.
I was certainly acting out of character, that much I recognized. Dealing with her truck, getting her the hangover cure this morning, I was taking care of her, and it felt pretty good. And her gratitude felt great. But what was I expecting to happen as a result? Did I want her like that? That would be really awkward. I had no idea how we'd sort that out. And let's be frank, I really suck at that stuff. The odds were pretty good that I would fuck it up massively. And then there'd be no more of this. So maybe I should just forget it. At least while we had our little arrangement. Maybe down the line, someday….
Jasper.
Fuck.
I kept forgetting about him. And her. Laurent said she didn't have a boyfriend, but if I laid out everything I'd seen, she had a…Jasper. Whatever it was that was happening there. So maybe this was all on my side. It had to be. I mean, she desired me, but I knew better than anyone how much desire can be divorced from anything like emotion. So that must be all it was for her. Desire. That she was determined not to act on. For Jasper's sake. Either that or she could simply tell that I was a hopeless bastard who was nothing but trouble and she was smart enough to keep her distance.
Could I seduce her if I really wanted to? Sure, I was pretty confident that I could. That kiss by the car…I could have her if I pushed. Picked the right moment, got some liquor in her, it would happen. But what good would that do? Well, it would be amazing, but aside from fulfilling my needs, what good would it do? She'd probably hate herself afterwards and then hate me for seducing her, and then I'd hate me for making her feel so bad. So, no, seducing her was a non-starter.
It figures that the first time I felt anything at all for a woman since I was in high school, I'd meet her under these crazy circumstances and she's completely unavailable. And too good for me. Of course, now that I'd convinced myself that she was out of my reach, I was also pretty sure that I liked her.
I sank a little lower in my chair and grasped her hand a little tighter. At least I could do that much. I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose absently.
"Is everything okay?" she asked softly.
"Sure, I'm fine. Just a little tired. How are you feeling now?" Now that I was getting used to fussing over her it was becoming a bit of a habit.
"Fine, much better. Okay," she said with a new brightness, "Your turn. Tell me something about you growing up."
"Like what?"
"Anything. How did you get into acting? Did you do it as a kid?"
"No, not at all. I was into music as a kid. Piano."
"You play piano?" she sounded very surprised.
"Yeah, well, I did. I don't do it much anymore." Like, not for years.
"Would you play for me sometime? I'd love to hear you."
I looked at her and she seemed completely sincere.
"Sure. Any time."
"So, no acting as a kid. When did it start then?"
"College. Well, I was pre-med, but I took some acting classes for fun, and I loved it."
"You were pre-med?"
"Please don't sound so surprised!"
She laughed, "It is a little surprising! I'm sorry. Did you finish?"
I pulled myself up a little and pretended to be insulted, but I was smiling. "Summa Cum Laude from U Dub, thank you very much."
"Wow. Okay. So you have your pre-med degree, but you're an actor. What happened?"
"I loved it, the little bit I'd done in college. So I wanted to try it. I gave myself a year, and if it didn't work I said I would go to med school. And here I am."
"It worked."
"Well, here I am," I said dismissively. It worked when I did Hamlet. Being an unemployable famous bastard wasn't exactly how I'd envisioned the acting thing working out.
"Edward," she said, her voice chiding me softly, "I've read what people say about your acting. You're amazing."
Ah, damn. Funny little feeling curling in my chest again. Without thinking I moved our entwined hands up to rest on my chest over the spot. She didn't protest. Instead she turned slightly closer to me and curled one of her legs up underneath her.
"When I get to act," I said, keeping my eyes on the game, "Which is the problem at the moment."
"We're working on that, though, right?"
God, she seemed so earnest, looking at me like that. Before I could register I was doing it, my free hand reached up and tucked a loose tendril of her hair behind her ear. Her amazing brown eyes widened slightly, but she didn't pull away. I quickly dropped my hand and threw her a casual smile, trying to brush off the moment. Bella leaned back into her chair and seemed happy to let it slide.
Crap. I was going to have to do better than that.
We focused mainly on the game for the rest of the afternoon, our little moment of mutual sharing finished. By the time I got home I realized I was sorry we hadn't talked more after that. Because I had about a million questions I still wanted to ask her.