"Stuttering Heart."
From Jo's Playlist: Boots of Spanish Leather by Boom Forest
Jo sat on the front porch of the house wrapped in her black track pants and high school sweatshirt, gazing at the sleepy world before her. She had refused to wear the full red outfit, declaring how tacky she felt in it. Her Bible lay by her thighs as she watched the sun rise, arms wrapped around her middle. The sky was warm with a cotton candy pink and swirls of deep blue, pulling her drooping eyes awake by its beauty.
She always did love sunrises when she got the chance to see them. They made her chest flutter and her breaths come out lighter. She felt freer, as though there were wings on her back and she could lift into flight. Memories of waking up on sandy beaches of Italy with her friends with messy hair, sleepy eyes, and kissing Matteo's salty lips played in her mind.
Jo was pulled out of her thoughts when she spotted the messy hair of her boyfriend jogging up the street, the morning light pushing against his back. She smiled as he approached. Sweat slicked his forehead despite how chilly it was.
"How many miles today?" she asked.
He flung himself on the step by her feet, propping his elbows behind him. "Three," he said, chest rising and falling heavily. "The air here is different and there's more hills than I'm used to,"
Jo quickly ran her fingers through the dry strands of his hair. "Only three? You're lacking, old man,"
He let his head hang back, twisting his features into a frown. "Tough words for someone who can't run without hurling their breakfast,"
Ouch. That one stung.
Jo rolled her eyes and flicked his forehead, hiding the hurt with a forced grin. "What are you doing here?"
"Am I not allowed to see you?" he asked, mischief glittering in his eyes.
The thought of bringing up his odd behavior crawled to the front of her brain. But she chose to brush it aside for now. "Never,"
He pulled himself to his feet, breath steadier. "I was thinking we get you some coffee before the matches today." He extended his hand.
Jo took it and let him help her to her feet. "That would be marvelous. Let me get my things,"
Jo scooped up her Bible and softly padded to the guest room. Everyone was still fast asleep. She grabbed her phone and wallet, opening her phone to send Summer a text saying where she was.
She froze in the hallway as her eyes flicked over the text in her messages.
No, I mean that I miss you, Matteo's message said.
Jo stared at the text. What did that even mean? He and Bri were still dating as far as Jo knew. He shouldn't even be saying things like that.
Feeling as though her heart were about to explode in her chest, Jo slid her phone in her pocket.
With her shoes on, she quietly slipped out the door.
Kuroo had one foot propped up on the edge of the step, leaning into the deep stretch to loosen his hamstrings. "Ready to go?" he asked, grinning slyly.
"Of course," she chirped, bouncing down the steps. Her chest pulled in guilt when his hand wrapped around hers.
They took to the street with their hands swinging between them. It was hilly but Jo didn't mind the burning in her thighs. The roofs of the town were different. They were old and slanted, not as glossy as the ones in Tokyo. It was nice. The sensation of the town made her think of the smaller villages in Italy when her friends would go for a day trip. It made her feel alive.
"Where do you want to go to college?" Jo suddenly asked. She couldn't wait any longer, the question had been burning in her throat since last night.
Kuroo sighed comically. "Well that's a great question to ask at six in the morning,"
Jo bumped her hip into his. "Zeeskeit,"
He cut her a teasing glance. "What does that even mean?"
She shrugged her shoulders, looking away to hide her grin. "Wouldn't you like to know,"
He bumped his hip back into hers hard, causing her to stumble to the side. He threw his head back in a sharp laugh and she huffed.
Kuroo paid for her coffee. The shop was tiny, just like the one Summer worked at. Plant vines spilled over their pots and into the floor and dried mint hung by the windows, releasing a sweet scent.
And then they were off once again. The shops were slowly starting to open as the people rose. It was a sleepy town. It didn't move too quickly. It took its time.
She loved it.
"I'll probably be going back to America," Jo said around her to-go cup.
Kuroo physically startled. His hand jumped in her own. "Huh?"
Jo frowned slightly at his reaction. "For college. I'll probably go to America,"
His lips thinned. He looked straight ahead, head high. "Why not here?" he asked. Jo could practically see the door between them closing.
Confused, she tried to pull at the handle to his heart slipping through her fingers. "It's easier for my family. I'm thinking of going to UT Austin. What about you?"
He stiffened. "Maybe University of Tokyo." It was clipped. Short. The door shut and locked. Her heart picked up pace and her stomach clenched. It had taken a month to get him to open up to her, and even then he hardly did. She had never met his family and they lived next door. It bothered her.
Did she mess up? She never should have asked, but her curiosity always got the best of her. She didn't want to make another mistake again, not like with Matteo. She wanted to know what they were as a couple. Were they a fling, or did he see the potential of something more?
Would he follow her to America?
The words stuck to her throat like honey. She couldn't get them out. So instead she washed them down with the smooth coffee. Suddenly, her heart did a dangerous dance and raced even harder than it should have. Her vision twisted and she blinked hard, quietly taking slow, steady breaths. Her vision stabilized but her heart continued to race painfully.
They continued their walk to the gymnasium in silence. Though their hands were laced together Jo felt as though they were miles apart.
Squeaks and shouts filled the gymnasium in the early morning. Jo watched her team play on the sidelines beside a tall, athletic girl with midnight hair. Both girls held clipboards in their hands and took notes at different times throughout the match.
It was a slaughter house.
Kurasuno was losing terribly but their grit and tenacity stood out the most. Even though the first set ended quickly, the opposing team wasn't shaken. And that was more dangerous than any perfect defense or offense.
"They're determined," Jo said to the girl.
She perked up, surprised Jo had said anything. "I think it's a shining trait they have," she said warmly.
The two fell silent for a moment. "I'm Jo," Jo said, breaking the awkwardness. "Josephine to my Mom but just Jo to everyone else,"
"Kiyoko," the girl replied, matching Jo's shy smile. "Are you a forgien exchange student?"
Jo nodded, stretching her long legs in front of her. Even under her black Adidas track pants, she noticed she had gained more tone since the beginning of the semester. The early mornings were paying off. "Born in the States but I've floated around. I lived in Italy before here." This time, her chest didn't constrict with longing.
Kiyoko's eyes widened a fraction beneath her thin glasses' frames. "That's really cool. I've always wanted to travel,"
The boys erupted in a chorus of shouts that caught the girls' attention. A small, redheaded boy and the tall setter had done another one of their quick sets but Yaku had been able to dig it. Jo pulled her legs up, leaning her forearms on her knees. "They're quite a pair," she noted.
Kiyoko wrote something down, glancing up at their young coaches on the opposite side of the court. "They're complete opposites but manage to work together fairly well,"
That sounded familiar. Jo's eyes found Kuroo and Kenma. The two were similar in ways, but vastly different. Kuroo's circle of friends were tight knit but he was welcoming to anyone. Kenma preferred to stay quiet, but offered his two cents when he wanted to. They made quite a pair but worked together flawlessly.
Jo picked at her fingernails absently. How did she and Kuroo work? Were they that seamless?
Did it even matter?
She wished she was home to talk to her mom about this. The conversation from that morning was still stark in her mind. She pressed her palm on her chest and slowly exhaled, willing her heart to settle. It didn't but still she tried.
She couldn't wait to be back in their cozy house in the living room, curled on the couch watching some murder mystery with them. Her chest tugged oddly.
She was homesick.
But not for a place. Not like for Italy where it sang to her. Her shoulders craved to be wrapped by her mom's warm embrace and her ears longed to hear the thrum of her dad's music choice.
They won several more sets and while Kurasuno put up a valiant fight, the crows fell prey to the cats. Jo and Kiyoko chatted about small things as they helped clean up. She used to run track before she had been injured and was forced to quit. She was a senior like Jo and wasn't sure if she wanted to go to college or not.
Jo liked her. She handled her boys well as they doted on her after the game, especially one with a shaved head. Jo didn't miss the lingering glance Kiyoko gave him as he ran off with his teammates.
A small smile tugged at her lips as she helped Titus sweep the floor.
He glanced at her, bright green eyes ever watchful. "What are you grinning about suddenly?"
"Am I not allowed to smile?" Jo asked, bushing the broom smoothly.
He threw the towel he was using on his shoulder. "You've been moping all weekend,"
"No I haven't,"
"Yes, you have," he pressed. He shrugged his shoulders. "But that's none of my business." One of the boys called to him and he waved, meeting a group of them outside.
Had she been?
A familiar song rang through her bones. It sang at her to run away. To run to the mountains and make a home close in on herself and never talk to anyone ever again.
She shook her head, resuming her sweeping. It was a silly thought. And unrealistic.
Jo glanced up at the boys crowded together. The teams mingled with one another, no boy shying away from the other. Kuroo was speaking to their captain, extending his phone to the other boy to exchange numbers.
It made the phone in her pocket feel like a brick.
Her breath caught in her throat and hung in her chest. She pressed a hand to her sternum and focused on the shining floor. She would be fine. She was okay. Just another odd spell. Her heart flipped awkwardly in her chest.
She felt as though she were going to be sick.
"Tetsuro," his name was on her tongue in an instant. She leaned heavily on the wooden broomstick. Her breath wheezed in her lungs.
Kuroo's head whipped in her direction, unfamiliar with the fear in her tone. Immediately he strode over, face twitching between worry and false ease. He cracked a quick joke to the older three of the Kurasuno team, who took notice of her hunched form.
His long fingers wrapped around her arms, steadying her. "What's wrong?" he murmured.
"I need to get some air but I feel like I'm about to pass out," she said. Heat coursed up her neck but she forced it down. Now wasn't a time to feel embarrassed. She needed to calm down and then break into tears.
"Okay, let's go," he said, gently wrapping an arm around her waist and guiding her out of the gym. Some of the boys gave them odd looks. Yaku and Titus paused their conversation as they passed.
"Everything okay?" Titus asked in English, eyeing her.
Jo nodded, keeping her focus on the ground. She forced her legs to move but had to lean heavily on Kuroo.
Finally, they broke away from the heavy glances and into the cooler air. The gym was more stuffy than she had realized and her lungs inhaled the fresh air sharply. Kuroo guided them to a corner where they were away from prying eyes and curious ears. He carefully helped her settle down.
And then Jo burst into tears.
Her cries were muffled by her palms pressed to her mouth and sheer will power to remain as quiet as possible, but she couldn't stop the spazzaming of her chest or the flow of the tears as they slipped from her eyes.
Kuroo startled, hands roaming over her face and shoulders. "Jo? What's wrong?" When she didn't answer he pulled her to his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her spine. Her fingers dug into his gross shirt, which smelled of sweat but she didn't care. He was real. Present. And so, so gentle.
After a few moments her hiccuping chest calmed to deep, steady breaths but she didn't pull away. "I'm sorry," she said, voice muffled by his shoulder.
He hushed her. "Don't apologize. Will you tell me what happened?" She could hear a tremor of fear in his voice despite the lightness it had.
She tilted her face into his neck. "I have a weird heart. It sends odd electrical signals sometimes making the beats irregular. Sometimes it makes me feel sick and other times I want to pass out. Today was both,"
He softly murmured something indistinguishable. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"
She shook her head. "I'm okay now. But I'll have to tell mom and dad." Her father was never going to let her out of his sight. She grimaced.
His fingers continued their soothing trail. "Alright."
Jo didn't know how long they stayed huddled together. But eventually he unwound himself from her and helped her stand. His fingers left hers as they rounded the corner to the bus. Immediately, as though nothing had happened, Kuroo's face broke into a light hearted grin and he surged ahead of her.
Jo at first felt hurt until she realized he was distracting them from her puffy eyes. Kuroo gathered his teammates around him, boasting in how well they played. Karasuno huddled around themselves, listening intently to their captain.
The cats and crows. They eyes would cut to the other team briefly, seizing one another up. Jo almost went to stand by Kuroo to support her team but thought better of it. Her cheeks were surely splotchy and her eyes rimmed red. Kai glanced at Kuroo's wet shoulder and then her face. Quickly, she ducked into the bus. She fell on her back on the second row, covering her eyes from the setting sun with her arm.
It would be a long ride home.