Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Marvel characters or any of the X-men. The same can be said of the wonderful world of J.K. Rowling. I am not making any profit, but simply having fun. I did however create Emma Winter.
Memories and dreams are in italics.
Edited in March 2021 during lockdown.
Logan had decided that the legilimens sessions would be at his cottage away from teachers and students of Xavier's. A few years back when he had just arrived to work at the institution, the professor had given him a small piece of land at the far corner of the property. Charles Xavier had understood Logan's need for seclusion at times and wasn't surprised when the man had jumped at the chance to have a piece of land that he could call his own.
The cottage wasn't much on the eye, but it was remote enough for Logan to get his time away from everyone when he needed which was quite often. Working in a house filled with hormonal teenagers could drive anyone up the walls, let alone a feral mutant who was not famous for his patience. After working long hours at the mansion teaching the older students close quarters the little cottage had become Logan's sanctuary; a place to hide from the world when things became too much.
No one at the mansion knew that the cottage existed, no one but Xavier of course since he had provided the land. That was until Logan decided to break his seclusion to tell Emma about it. However, the lone wolf was quick to make the young witch swear to secrecy. He would never have allowed Emma to come to the cottage but for the reason that she was going to help him with his memory and needed privacy to do so.
Emma's first impression of the cottage was a pleasant surprise. She was astonished to see the little, old fashioned cottage hidden amongst the trees on the far west side of Xavier's property. Granted the professor's land was enormous, and it was not very likely that any of the robust teenagers would ever stumble upon the little cottage that was hidden away deep in the forest.
"Took me a few years to finish it," Logan grumbled with pride as the witch looked around silently. He hadn't expected her to jump with joy but the kid was surprisingly silent as she studied the exterior of the cottage.
"You made all this?" Emma asked surprised as she walked closer to the cottage wearing a stunned expression on her face. Where she came from there were few that could build anything by hand, magic was used for everything so the witch was stunned at the skill and handwork that Logan had put into building his little cottage.
"Yep, how do you like it?" Logan asked proudly as he enjoyed the young woman's reaction to his little pet project. He had spent a great deal of time getting the place just right, but it had been worth every minute. The cottage was a haven for him, as the residential loner of the mansion, he had needed a corner for himself without being constantly hassled by unruly teenagers.
"Like it? I love it. It's enormously well made," Emma replied with enthusiasm as she looked at the stacked tree trunks that made the four walls of the cottage. The logs overlapped at each corner and giving the little cottage a sturdy, classical look.
The small cottage was handmade by Logan himself, that fact in itself shouldn't have surprised her at all. It was sturdy and made to last for a very long time to come. Even the forces of nature would have a problem breaking down the little log cottage that seemed so in its element in the middle of the untouched forest on Xavier's land.
"The windows are quite large," Emma noted looking at a window on the side of the veranda that faced tall pine trees. Compared to Hagrid's hut, Logan's one seemed so much better made and by far cleaner. All the odd animals that Hagrid, the half-giant, used to drag to his hut made the whole hut smell like a magical barn. Logan's cottage was the complete opposite, it wasn't grand, but it was clean and well taken care of in every aspect.
The witch thought it had to be wonderful to sit there in the evening watching the sunset. She hoped that one day Logan would give her the chance to do exactly that. She began to understand why her friend loved the cottage so much and why he wanted to keep it a secret from the world.
"It kills the insulation to have so big windows, but it's worth it for the view," Logan rumbled as he opened the door and walked in. He felt a little stupid for explaining to the kid how he liked the view of the forest, it sounded so impractical and un-him somehow.
The cottage was always unlocked. Logan saw no reason to lock it, there was nothing in there worth stealing and whoever wanted to get it would be more likely to do more damage by trying to break in.
Emma stepped in after Logan and followed his lead in taking off her shoes by the front door. She doubted that anyone would believe that someone like Logan would be so neat and careful with his cottage. Everywhere she looked demonstrated the care of the owner and the love that was put into every single thing. There was no glitz, but the cottage had great warmth and friendliness to it.
The living room had a small wooden stove at the back and sitting on it was a vintage coffee maker. The living room had an old sofa, two comfortable chairs to match and a small living room table that had a few books scattered on it. A few thick rugs were on the wooden floor and in the right corner was a narrow cot that Logan threw his leather jacket on and pointed at Emma to do the same.
As Emma walked around checking the cottage and its beautiful views, Logan set up a fire in the hearth making the small cottage fill with friendly warmth.
"If you need the bathroom it's in there," Logan said pointing towards the only door in the cottage beside the front door.
"Oh, you have indoor plumbing?" Emma asked surprised and couldn't help smiling a little at the astounded look on his face. She thought it was an innocent question but the look on Logan's face told her that he was surprised at her question. She wondered if it wasn't very ladylike to have assumed that the cottage had an outhouse somewhere in the back by the forest. What Logan didn't know was that not every magical home had indoor plumbing, it was quite normal for many of them to still have outhouses.
"Yeah kid, even though I like my privacy doesn't mean I wanna be in a cave. I like my shower in the morning," Logan said defensively to her shock that he had plumbing installed. After nights filled with nightmares, it was a rare luxury to be able to enjoy a scathing hot shower.
At times it was so noticeable that Emma was not from the same world as Logan, her astonishment over the littlest things was endearing to the gruff mutant who had gotten jaded through the years. However he didn't have the heart to point it out to her, instinctively Logan knew that she would get hurt by such an observation. Emma had tried so hard to fit into the world of mutants even though a few months prior she had never even heard of them.
"Right, of course," Emma said nodding understanding by the penetrating stare that he gave her that under no circumstances was she to doubt Logan when in his domain. Frankly, she had nothing to tease him about anyway; the little cottage was perfect for their little magical experiment.
"I'll make us a coffee before we start" Logan rumbled and a little while later the sweet scent of warm coffee was added to the pleasant feel of the cottage. Emma sighed contentedly, the little cottage in the forest felt surprisingly much like home to her.
The two friends were seated in the two chairs in the living room and had turned them to face each other. They were sitting so close that their knees were almost touching. Logan had tried not to show any sign of nerves but with every moment that passed he had gotten quieter, and it had only made the witch even more nervous than she already was. Emma took her wand from inside of her left sleeve making Logan's eyebrows rise in surprise over the location of the wand. The took a deep breath to soothe her nerves before lifting her hand and pointing the wand towards Logan's head.
"Remember eye contact, no matter what's happening. It makes the connection stronger" Emma said before uttering the single word to activate the spell, "legilimens"
Images swirled in her mind. Endless amounts of bars, fights and driving towards nowhere until she settled on a surprising memory. It was Jean Grey who Emma recognized from pictures and stories from Ororo. Emma knew little of her but that was about to change as she watched the memory intently.
"I choose Scott," The beautiful red-haired woman was telling a broken-hearted Logan who had been begging her to pick him instead of Scott. The woman only shook her head in denial and walked away.
Emma felt highly uncomfortable seeing something so personal and in no way connected to what Logan was looking for. She tried looking for something else, hoping to stumble upon something from before Logan lost his memory.
The vision changed again to Logan and Rogue in a car driving in snow. Rouge looked much younger and her hair was all dark without her signature white lock of hair.
Emma could feel Logan's mind turning increasingly more restless with each try. He was losing his patience and the witch felt he would try to break the connection very soon if she wouldn't find something that interested him.
She dove in again into his mind and finally, Emma reached a memory of two young boys in a forest. They were running from something that seemed to be a group of men. The older boy had a strong grip on the younger one that looked dead sick as he wrapped his red robe around himself.
"Come on Jimmy. You have to run; we can't stop now," the older one said pushing the other one forward even though the young one looked exhausted as he stumbled in the tall grass.
"Just leave me, I can't go any further," the younger one said coughing and trying to grasp his breath after running.
"You will continue even if I have to carry you!" the older one hissed dragging the other one as far from the men and the dogs as he could. Finally, after what felt like forever, they stopped. The younger boy gasped for air and his knees shaking with exertion.
"Let me see your hands," the older one ordered and looked down at the knuckles of the younger one. They were swollen and had several large gases on them as if he had been stabbed on each hand.
"It happened again, the bones..." Jimmy said sobbing and looking heartbroken.
"I'm glad it did, they were gonna kill me Jimmy!" the older one hissed at him and trying to make him understand the danger he had been in.
"But I killed him, just like I killed..."
"It doesn't get you anywhere to be constantly talking about that. We just have to wait for your thing to kick in so you won't be such a runt and then maybe we can think of going south where no one will know us."
"Alright, I will try," Jimmy said sniffling and rubbing the tears off his face with the palm of his hand. The older one stood up and ran deeper into the forest. Jimmy stood alone for a while as if deciding if to follow the older one or not. At last, he drew a shaky breath and followed the other one, sometimes stumbling over things on the ground in the darkness.
Finally, the vision ended, and Emma was back on the chair facing Logan. She didn't know what to say to him, so she sat quietly for a while looking out the window as to not disturb Logan's thoughts. She could feel the annoyance coming from him in waves. There was no need to look at him to feel that it was not what he had been looking for, he had been looking for answers and instead, he got more questions.
"I'm sorry I couldn't see more Logan," Emma said looking at Logan continued to pay no attention to her. She was worried that he was disappointed with her, that she had gotten his hopes up and that now he was upset with her. The man in front of her was unresponsive and seemingly deep in thought.
"Did the memory trigger anything?"
"Nope, don't know the kids," Logan said unable to hide the annoyance from his tone of voice.
"One of them is you Logan. Otherwise it wouldn't be in your mind."
"Who the older one? I haven't been sick a day in my life, at least as far as I can remember," Logan mumbled to himself in thought wondering where the younger one was now and if he was dead.
"I am not the best witch in the world when it comes to legilimens but this I know. The scene is played from someone's point of view and this memory was clearly from the point of view of the younger one, the one that was called Jimmy. So now you know that at least, you were called Jimmy when you were little," Emma said trying to cheer Logan up and getting his interest by mentioning the name of the child.
"I don't remember ever being called other than Logan," he snorted with weariness, "being chased is nothing new. I have been chased my whole life."
"So you see after all we made a little discovery. This was an old memory from your childhood when your mutation had just activated," Emma pointed out excitedly and trying to infect him with her happiness. It didn't work though as Logan had obviously been looking for superior answers, ones that he simply didn't get this time around.
"You can't expect me to find all your answers in our first session. I'm not that good at this spell and it would need a master of the field to find your answers in only one sitting."
"I know and I'm not blaming you or your magic Emma. I just got my hopes up and now I feel stupid," Logan admitted feeling annoyed at himself for having been so optimistic."
"Perhaps next time we do this you will get clearer answers Logan; there is nothing to say that things won't get better from here. The first legilimens session is usually the most difficult one," Emma said trying to sound more experienced than she was. She had never used the spell herself until on Logan and she was simply relieved that she hadn't hurt him or wiped out the rest of his memory. Nevertheless, she remembered how difficult it had been for her to have Severus Snape poke around in her private memories. Just the knowledge that he was inside of her mind had made her feel dirty and used. Emma swore to herself that she would never make Logan feel how Severus Snape had made her feel the evening he rummaged through her mind.
The experience with Logan was completely different. They were friends and she was there to try to help him find a solution to his past. Emma was not going into his mind to pry or to find out some secrets that Logan might have stored away. The witch hoped that he would not resent her for the legilimens, not like she had resented Snape in the end.
"I need a cigar," Logan mumbled to himself and stood up from the chair heading out of the front door and to the porch outside. He apparently needed some time on his own with his thoughts and Emma was more than willing to give it to him while she pondered over what she had seen in Logan's mind.