Chapter 24, Cold Hard Bitch, in which spanglemaker's loyal and devoted readers turn on her en masse and burn her in effigy. At least that's what I'm afraid you're going to do.

I'll see you on the other side.

Twilight's not mine.

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BPOV

All night. We were going to be here in rehearsal all night.

As nervous as I was, even I thought our new live show was in pretty good shape. But as usual, Jasper the Perfectionist had his knickers in a twist about the arrangement on one of the new songs. What we did in the studio wasn't quite working live and now he wanted to rework the whole fucking thing.

I'd hoped we could wrap it up by dinner time so I could go spend some time with Edward, but that was looking unlikely. And I really needed to talk to him. After last night, when he gave away my song, I was more pessimistic than ever. We needed to talk. I needed to ask him what, if anything, he saw happening between us next. At this point I was pretty sure of what he was going to say, but all the same, I needed to do it and get it over with. Like pulling off a band-aid. It would hurt like crazy at first, but then maybe I could start getting over him. Yeah, right.

There hadn't even been much time today to think about my song. I texted Jasper when I woke up this morning to tell him that Edward said yes. By the time we got to rehearsal at nine he said the label was all over it, getting it cleared to make it on the album. Butch was doing his best to clean up the imperfect track he had. The mic was in the wrong place, the balance between the vocal and the piano was sometimes uneven, but I flat out refused the suggestion of recording it with Edward again, even if we'd had the time, which we didn't. Jasper said he liked the raw quality of the take we had anyway. He said it was more emotionally charged. You can say that again.

So while I started out the morning emotionally strung out about the song, we'd gone straight into rehearsal and it had been a marathon all day. There hadn't been time to think about anything else, which was good and bad.

Jasper was hurriedly scribbling chord changes on the lyrics sheet, head bent, completely absorbed. Rose had her head tipped back against the wall, eyes closed, catching a breather. Emmett had surreptitiously pulled out his Gameboy. I was debating whether or not I should slip out for another cup of tea when my phone vibrated. Edward.

I slipped to the corner of the room, out of earshot, trying not to irritate Jasper any further.

"Hello?"

"Bella? How's it going?"

I groaned in response.

Edward chuckled. "That good, huh?"

"Just a long day. How's it going with you?"

I heard Edward exhale into the phone. "Well, I talked to Scorsese."

Instantly I perked up. "And?"

"It's done. The part's mine."

"Edward!" I shrieked as softly as I could manage. I could hear the happiness in his voice through the phone.

"I know. It's pretty amazing. I'm here with Marc having dinner to celebrate. I was calling to see if you wanted to come but…"

"Yeah, I'm not getting out of here any time soon," I moaned.

There was a long pause on Edward's end of the line and I could hear the tension in it.

"Edward?" I finally said, to spur him on.

"I'm going to Rome," he said abruptly.

"Rome?"

"Yeah, Marty's shooting there, and he wants me to fly over and do some readings."

"When...when are you going?" it was taking everything I had to keep my voice even. Was this it? The clean break?

"Um…as soon as Marc can shove me on a plane," he sounded tense and uncomfortable suddenly.

"I see."

"Listen, Bella…" he sounded like he was leading into something big.

Shit. Not now. Not on the phone. I couldn't handle that. I knew it had to happen, and now apparently it was going to happen tonight, but I had to stall at least until I wasn't here in rehearsal surrounded by all of these people.

"Hey, Edward," I interrupted him briskly, concentrating hard on keeping my voice emotionless, "I have to get back to rehearsal. They're calling me. But I need to talk to you about something later. Wait up until I get back? Okay?"

He said nothing for a long moment.

"Okay, sure," he said finally, his voice distant, "have a good rehearsal, Bella."

And he was gone. I felt my eyes prick with tears. Fuck. My hand came up to my chest of its own accord, pressing against my breastbone, trying to alleviate the tightness I felt there, like a band around my ribs. But it didn't help. I felt like I was suffocating just the same. The stage manager called my name, trying to get me back into rehearsal, and I had no choice but to take a deep breath and go.

"Look, you fucking prick, we've been at this since nine this morning with almost no breaks!"

"Rose, shut the fuck up! There's work to do!" Jasper snarled back. It always got ugliest between the two of them, since they were the closest. It was ten p.m.. Everybody was strung out and exhausted.

"Jasper, quit fucking torturing us! Even the label says we sound good! What the fuck is your problem?"

"Rose, if we just…"

"If we just stay three more hours we'll get two notes closer to perfect for you. No, Jazz. I'm done!"

"We are all pretty beat, bro," Emmett said gently.

Jasper knew that when one of us took sides with Rose he was done for. He sighed heavily and looked at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry guys. I guess I'm just really nervous about this. I know you all are."

"And you want us to be perfect. I know, Jazz," I said, trying to play peacekeeper so we all went home still speaking.

"Yeah, pretty much. But Rose is right. I should just let it go."

I threw my arm around his shoulders.

"I swear it will be the first thing we tackle in our sound check in Chicago."

"Our sound check in Chicago…" Jasper said, shaking his head. "Doesn't it blow your mind?"

I laughed, "Yes, it does, a little. It's going to be amazing. Look, Jazz, why don't you call Alice? I'm sure she wants to spend as much time as possible with you before you leave town."

He nodded, looking appeased. We talked a little more about what still needed to be done before we left town and made a plan for the next day with the stage manager before we all headed for the exits.

I checked the time on my cell on my way downstairs with Seth. Not so very late, maybe I could still meet Edward. I scrolled to his number but hesitated before I called. He'd sounded so distant on the phone at the end. Would it be really awful if I surprised him? He did call to ask me to come. And I just wanted one more normal moment with him, even if I had to share it with Marc. Later, when we got back to his place, we would talk, we'd say what needed to be said, but I just wanted to share this celebration with him before that happened.

I was still mulling it over when Seth opened the back door of the SUV for me down in the parking garage underneath the rehearsal studio.

"Seth?"

"Hmm?"

"If I wanted to know where Edward was heading tonight, could you find that out from Sam, or would that violate some sort of bodyguard professional code of conduct or something?"

Seth snorted his laugh.

"Sam will tell me if I ask. Do you want me to ask?"

I thought for just a minute. "Yes".

Within a few minutes we were headed for some ultra chic restaurant and nightclub in West Hollywood. I wondered if I should go home and change. I was just wearing jeans and a sleeveless blouse, although they were Alice-approved. But it would take forever to get to his place and back and I didn't want to lose another minute of his company wasting time changing clothes, so I just slicked on a little lip gloss and ruffled my hair and hoped for the best.

It was Saturday night and traffic in West Hollywood was horrible. It took us forever to get there and even longer to maneuver the SUV close enough to the front door for me to exit without creating a scene. I worried that he'd already be gone by the time I was inside. Seth finally opened the back door and scooped me out of the back seat and through the raised velvet rope and inside.

"Sam said Edward sent him home after he dropped him, so I'll hang and wait for both of you. You know the drill, Bells. Text if you need me," he said, shooting me a tiny salute and a grin. I hated that he'd picked up calling me Bells from Jasper and Emmett, although I loved that he felt comfortable enough with me to use it.

It was late enough that the diners were clearing out and the dancers were taking over. The music was loud and the interior was dimly lit with pulsating colored lights. There were barely clad, writhing bodies everywhere. I had no idea how I would find Edward in this mess. And I'd been noticed. People were smiling at me, talking to me. I was trying to be brief, shake them off and move on, but I still had such a hard time being impolite. I couldn't get more than a few feet before someone else was claiming my attention. I wondered briefly if I should go get Seth just so I wouldn't be alone.

"Bella?" It was a familiar voice, but not the one I hoped for. I turned to find James, that friend of Edward's, drink in hand, smirking down at me and standing a little too close. "It is Bella! It's so great to see you again!"

I smiled with as much warmth as I could muster. The guy gave me the creeps a little, but I tried to be pleasant, "Hi, James. Great to see you again, too."

"Did you come to find Edward?"

"Um, yeah. Have you seen him?"

James chuckled and cast his eyes across the crowd around us. "Yeah, he's here somewhere. You know how it is."

No, I didn't know how it was, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to find Edward.

"Bella, it was great to hear about you and Edward. A little surprising, but great." His words were sincere, but not his voice. I smiled slightly at him.

"Why surprising?"

"Well, you know Edward. You just don't seem…quite his type."

"Really?" I knew I should just walk away, but I couldn't help it. Part of me wanted him to keep talking, so I could hear what he had to say.

"Don't get me wrong, beautiful!" he said quickly, reaching out and running his hand down my bare arm. I suddenly wished I had long sleeves on. "Just the girls he's known in the past…the girls we've known in the past, were a little more…well, just different."

What the fuck was he trying to say? What was he implying? The girls we've known? Was he saying that he and Edward had… Holy shit. Nothing about Edward's past should really shock me, but I was shocked. I tried not to let it show on my face, though. I didn't want to give James any satisfaction.

"I can see what drew him in, though," James was still talking, leaning into me, his voice dropping to what I'm sure he thought was a seductive register. I felt a chill skitter down my spine. "There's something so…sweet…and entrancing about you. Delectable. That's what I told Edward. It's really too bad he decided not to share."

Edward was talking about me to James? Like that? I flushed cold all over. And James was still leaning in, his hand was still on my arm, stroking lightly up and down. I was getting goosebumps.

"I…I really should go find Edward," I stammered, desperate now to get away from James.

"Suit yourself, beautiful, although I think he might be busy," James murmured, his hand slipping up over my shoulder. He reached up and ran the backs of two fingers down my cheek. I stood frozen like prey transfixed by a snake. "If you get lonely, come find me."

I didn't answer, I just stepped back and turned away, pushing through the crowd of bodies, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. My mind was struggling to grasp all that James had been implying. I couldn't think about it, wouldn't think about it. It didn't matter. I just needed to find Edward.

People were still trying to stop me, touch me, but now I shook them all off. I wanted out of here. I wanted Edward. Through the press of bodies I saw a row of booths against the side wall and I headed in that direction, thinking that maybe he was in one of them with Marc.

Between bare shoulders and backs I caught a glimpse of tousled bronze hair and let out a huge sigh of relief. I pushed between two barely legal girls in not much more than their underwear and finally caught sight of Edward.

Edward… slouched in a booth….with a woman draped across his chest. Long red hair spilling down her back, over his hand which was splayed across her bare skin. His eyes were closed, his head half reclined, a slight smile on his lips. Her face was turned up to his, her hands were tangled in his beautiful hair, my beautiful hair. As I stood frozen in place, unable to so much as blink, she pulled his face down to hers and their lips met and his hand fisted into her hair…

My breath stalled in my chest. My mouth opened but I couldn't speak and I couldn't draw a breath. I felt like a steel band was clamped around my ribs. No air…can't breathe. So many people… I can't breathe.

I had to get out of there. I stumbled back a few steps and into a girl. She snarled a curse at me, but I didn't hear her. I shut my eyes against the sight of Edward and her and spun around, shoving bodies out of my way. Escape…escape. I had to get away and I was feeling panicky. I was moments from falling apart and I couldn't do it here.

Seth. I needed Seth. My hand was gripping my cell so hard I was afraid my fingers wouldn't work. He was in my speed dial and with trembling fingers I typed one word…HELP.

I pushed forward to the door, looking for him, willing him to appear. Please, Seth, please…come and help me get away. I could feel people all around me starting to look, to whisper. I was making a scene.

"Bella?" That hated voice was in my ear again. James, catching me around my waist, restraining me, pulling me up against him. I leaned away, but I couldn't find the strength in my arms to fight him off. "It's okay, Bella. I'll take care of you, sweetheart," he crooned in my ear, his hot breath skittering down my neck, making me feel sick.

"No," my voice sounded strangled and far away and weak. I raised my hands to push against his chest, but he only slid his arms up to wrap them around my ribcage, trapping my arms against his chest. "I can't…"

"Sure you can, beautiful. He won't miss you. Or maybe we could go join them? Best of both worlds, gorgeous."

I had to get out of here, away from him, away from that, the horrible, awful thing unfolding behind me.

"Let her go."

James raised his head to stare up at the massive shape of Seth and he fixed him with his beady stare.

"She's fine, boy. Bella and I are old friends."

"Seth, please..." was all I could get out.

Seth didn't need to hear any more. He reached out and with one swift move disengaged James' arms and scooped me up close to his chest. He turned on his heel and began to half-carry me to the door. James grabbed Seth by the shoulder, and Seth spun, keeping me pinned to his side under his arm. His free hand snaked out and wrapped around James' wrist, twisting slightly. James winced.

"Give me a fucking reason," he snarled at James.

James raised his other hand, palm outstretched, in surrender and Seth released him, flinging his hand away in disgust and causing James to stumble slightly.

"Get me out of here, Seth," I whispered.

"We're almost there, Bells. Hang on," his voice was hard and tight. He turned us again without another look at James and headed us towards the door.

I felt the air of the outside hit my face as we pushed through the last crush of bodies. It felt cool after the inside. The SUV was right outside the door, half up on the curb. Seth swung the back door open and practically lifted me into the car before he shut me in and slipped behind the wheel.

I could feel the crushing misery nipping at my heels. I was about to fall apart, I could feel it coming, and once I did, I would stay that way for a while. I needed to be someplace safe, and there was no place to go. I wrapped my arms around my midsection and squeezed hard, willing myself to stay in one piece.

"Where to, Bells?" Seth asked softly.

"I don't know."

"Rose's? Jasper's?"

I shook my head. Even in this fog of pain and disbelief, I knew that Edward's very public display was about to bring a crushing amount of media attention down on me. Not Rose's, not Jasper's. Not home. And not Edward's…not ever again.

"I need a hotel, but I don't know where…"

"I know where to go, Bells. It'll be okay."

Seth started driving and he got on his cell, speaking softly, so I couldn't make out who he was talking to. I sat in the back seat, my arms still wrapped around my stomach, rocking slightly, trying to hold myself together. Don't think, don't think. Not yet. Once you're inside you can fall apart, but not now.

Seth pulled up under a covered entryway. A bellhop came to Seth's window and Seth said a few words to him. A moment later, another man in a suit approached. He spoke briefly with Seth and then handed him a hotel pass key.

He stepped out of the car and gave the keys to the valet before he came around to the back door. He leaned in to me.

"Sunglasses, Bells?"

I obeyed him, fishing them out of my bag and putting them on. He patted my knee briefly and slipped his arm over my shoulder. He led me quickly, quietly through the dim lobby. I was aware of pulsating music, candles flickering, people mingling. Even the fucking hotel lobbies were like clubs here.

Seth hurried me past all that and then we were in the elevator, then in the dark grey sleek hallway. Seth swiped the key and let us into the suite. I stumbled forward into the room, blind to anything around me.

"Bells, Rose is on her way. I'm just going to call her and let her know which room we're in. I'll be right outside in the hall," Seth said, touching my shoulder lightly before leaving the room.

I heard the door click behind him. I lost the strength to stand anymore and sank to my knees. The tightness in my chest was unrelenting. Can't breathe. I could feel the sob struggling to make its way up my throat. I fell forward onto my hands, gasping for air, for relief from this crushing misery. It wouldn't come.

I finally fell apart.

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A/N: Take a deep breath. You'll get another chapter immediately that will be somewhat enlightening.

I will be waiting over here by my inbox. Let me have it.