A/N: Soo, here we go, a new fic! Fair warning, this first chapter is definitely M-rated! Don't remember much for the next 6-7 chapters though because I started writing this two years ago lol.

Anyway, it's set from 2x19 Wrapped Up in Death. Enjoy!

The look on his face kept haunting her. He'd looked so scared. Like a little boy, she thought. It had been about two hours ago since Kate Beckett dropped off her partner at his building but she still couldn't stop thinking about the day and how he, no matter how hard he tried not to, had displayed how scared he was of being cursed. He'd tried acting all cool and carefree but she'd seen right through him. Hell, she'd even messed with him! In her defense so had the boys, but then again they didn't know the writer like she did. While she'd seen the fright in his eyes she was sure the two detectives had only seen the humor of actually fooling the writer for a few seconds. Sure, she'd high fived them but that was before she actually started to think about what had happened, what his blue eyes had told her. He really was scared of his life, scared of leaving Alexis behind. So scared that he even asked her to take care of the teen if something actually was to happen to him.

Kate found herself tossing and turning in her bed, not finding any peace in her soul no matter how hard she tried to let it go. Shit. She really wasn't going to get any sleep tonight was she? With a groan she lifted herself out of her bed and began rummaging through her clothes in order to find a cozy hoodie along with a pair of yoga pants that she could put on. As soon as she was dressed she headed for the door, her keys and phone in her hands as she locked the apartment. She cursed herself for giving in so easily but couldn't find it in herself to turn back home. Her partner was most likely having an even harder time finding peace and sleep and, no matter how annoying he could be, she couldn't deny the friendship that had blossomed between them for the last weeks.

The cab felt slow, but she kept telling herself it would be wrong to use her badge to get the driver to drive faster. Eventually she got to her destination though, paid off the cab driver and probably even paid too much but she didn't care, she just wanted to get to her partner. Deciding the elevator would be too slow she started climbing the stairs, thankful for her work requiring her to keep up her condition. As soon as she was standing outside his door she took a deep breath before gently knocking, hoping he hadn't gone to bed yet. What if he's already asleep?

"Beckett? What are you doing here?" Castle asked and she cursed herself for her concern.

"I-uh." Why didn't I come up with an excuse?! Oh, to hell with it. "Just checking up on you, making sure the curse didn't get you," she said with an as teasing tone as she could muster.

He gave her a tired look. "Ha-ha," he said before turning around, pushing the door to let it close on its own. Only she was faster and stopped it in order to get inside and close it herself. She actually figured he meant for her to come in, that's why he hadn't closed it but simply pushed it. "Thought you didn't believe in the curse," he muttered as he walked to the office where she followed him.

She saw the scotch bottle he had placed on the desk along with the glass he'd most likely intended to drink. A chill went down her spine, hoping he wasn't drowning his worries in the alcohol. "I don't," she said and met his eyes once he sat down in his office chair. "But you do."

"No I don't," he said but she gave him a look, glancing meaningly towards the scotch. "Fine, okay, I believe. Make fun of me all you want," he threw his hands up in a way of giving up before he grabbed his scotch and downed it.

Kate felt her heart sink. He really thought she was going to make fun of him because of his fears. Technically you already did, said a voice inside her head. Shaking her head she ran her hand through her short hair, a nervous habit from when she had long hair in her youth.

"I'm not going to make fun Rick. I'm sorry for the chair and the coffee machine, I didn't think you'd take it serious." She could tell the usage of his first name had confused him since he was stopping in his movements of pouring another drink.

"Y-you're apologizing?"

She bit her lower lip before she nodded. "Yes."

He gave her a suspicious look. "Why?"

With a sigh she rubbed her forehead. "Because it was cruel and I didn't mean to hurt you. And you're my partner, I shouldn't have done that to you."

Suddenly he put down the bottle of scotch, none of it having found its way down his glass. Thank god. He looked deep in thought and Kate was just about to ask him what he was thinking about when he opened his mouth again.

"I'll forgive you if you do me a favor," he challenged and when she met his eyes she suddenly feared what he would say next. "Sleep with me."

"Excuse me?!" she called out in a hushed voice. Silently praying his mother and Alexis wouldn't wake up and hear them.

"No, no no," he shook his head, "not sex-sleep, sleep-sleep. If the curse is real what better way to keep it from hurting you than a cop staying at your side." He shrugged his shoulders and she rolled her eyes. Oh.

"Fine," she said and his eyes widened, his smirk disappearing. He truly hadn't thought she'd accept. "Lead the way," she held out her hand and it took a second before he cleared his throat and led her towards his bedroom.

It was almost as if he went on autopilot while showing her which side she could sleep on and she figured he was trying to figure out what the hell happened while he was making himself ready in the bathroom because it took quite some time before he actually joined her in bed. Once he did he kept glancing at her and eventually she got enough.

"What?" she asked, turning onto her side to give him a stare.

It took him about a minute before he turned to his side too, meeting her gaze with hesitation in his blue eyes.

"I'm almost convinced there is no curse," he confessed and she narrowed her eyes on him.

"Why? I thought that's why you asked me to stay."

He nodded, "Yeah, but…" He went silent and she sighed.

"Spit it out Castle."

It took another second before he opened his mouth again. "If it truly was a curse… you'd never agree to sleep with me. But you're here, in my bed… so either I'm a very lucky guy who's getting a glimpse of what my life could've been like before I die, or I'm just the luckiest man on the planet to get a chance to sleep next to the most remarkable woman in the world."

Kate was taken back by the description. By the whole explanation really. And she could tell by the blush on his cheeks that he hadn't meant to reveal that much.

"Let's just… sleep, yeah, sleep," she eventually mumbled before turning to her other side.

"Uh, yeah, until tomorrow, detective," she heard his response before they both tried to fall asleep.

Kate woke up only a couple hours later, feeling unable to move. It took her a good second to realize she wasn't in her own room, her own apartment, but in her partner's bedroom. And not only was she in his bedroom, she was in his bed with his arms around her. That's why she felt as though she couldn't move! For some weird reason she didn't feel as panicked as she should by the new knowledge. In fact, it's kinda cozy. Kate scolded her own mind for even thinking the words, for a second she even thought about how safe it felt being in his arms.

Carefully she started bending his arm away from her, and she could hear the displeased grunts behind her. He was most definitely half-asleep because most of the mumble made no sense, however she had a feeling he was trying to stop her from leaving. His arm even tightened around her and pulled her back closer into his chest.

"Castle," she hissed out into the open in the hopes of waking him.

His grunts turned into a "what?" and she had to bite her lower lip in order not to chuckle at the obvious disorientation in his tone.

"I can't protect you from the curse if you keep holding me far away enough of being able to reach my gun," she complained and she pushed at his arm again until she felt him ease his heavy limb.

"Sorry," the mumble was barely audible but she could swear there was another indication of disappointment in his tone.

Rolling onto her back she turned her head to look at her partner. He was rubbing his eyes and wiping down his face in a way she assumed was to wake himself up. As she observed him she couldn't help but notice the messy morning hair he'd gotten during the night, couldn't help but wonder if he looked like this every morning. Stop it, Kate. Mornings were making her think things she shouldn't. Castle stopped in his moments to look at her with a sudden, but small, grin.

"You believe in the curse," he said with the clearest voice yet and she narrowed her eyes as she felt the urge to break one of his legs.

"I do not," she argued but he just shook his head with the grin still intact.

"Do too, otherwise you wouldn't have showed up here at 1am with the need to offer protection," he said with a singy tone and she grunted.

"I was thinking of you, not the curse."

"Oh? So you thought about me? Interesting," he hummed and she cursed underneath her breath.

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean," she started climbing out of the bed and felt his eyes follow her, could feel the grin still on his lips.

"Seriously though," he said with a much more sincere tone and so she glanced at him with curiosity. "I'm touched. Thank you." His tone might've still been a bit teasing but his eyes told a whole different story.

He was touched, she could tell that much. He was just trying to keep up this macho 'I'm-not-scared-of-anything'-facade.

"Yeah yeah," she waved her hand in front of her before she stretched her hands up in the air to straighten her back, feeling it crack just right. Damn that was a comfortable bed. "Just don't mention it to the boys."

Castle couldn't help but stare at the exposed skin by her waist, the way her hoodie was going up due to her stretching up. It was doing things to him, things he was sure she would kill him for, but god, he couldn't stop staring. His imagination was too vivid too, couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to have his lips connected with that exposed skin, wondered what noises he could bring out of her if he just got the chance.

Kate couldn't help but notice his stare, tried her best to ignore the heat his eyes were burning into her skin as they slowly traveled upwards. Her mind turned into a warzone as she tried to decide whether to tease her partner more or snap him out of his ogling. It wasn't as though she'd never thought the idea to just take him, hell, it was what all her dreams were about, but she'd made a promise to herself not to. But he looks so irresistible. Kate had to stop herself from giving herself a facepalm at the thought.

Castle cleared his throat before snapping his eyes back up to hers, most likely he got aware of his staring. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," he said and Kate felt her heart flutter. Why?

"It better be," she said with a stern voice as he raised from his bed. When did he remove his shirt? "I will shoot you otherwise," she threatened but even she could hear the threat was hollow. In her defense she hadn't been prepared to have his muscular chest staring back at her. Fuck.

Castle saw the way his partner was suddenly eyeing his bare chest and he felt hope bubbling in his chest. Is she interested? He had thought she was still seeing him as the annoying nine-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush she had described him as in the beginning. Maybe not anymore. Maybe it's time to find out. "Like what you see?"

The second their eyes met his were challenging and lustfully blue. Fuck, she was lost. She could feel herself being drawn into them, could feel herself drown. Shaking her head she managed to get a small grip on herself again. "Don't be ridiculous," she bit out but she could tell by his small grin he didn't believe her for a second.

Slowly, but with determination, he started walking around the bed to place himself in front of her. He didn't stop until their bodies were practically touching and Kate sucked her lower lip into her mouth, biting it hard, drawing blood. She could feel her body relax in a way she would forever curse it for. When his hands suddenly came in contact with her hips, with the bare skin still exposed there from the stretching, she felt her knees buckle and couldn't stop the gasp from leaving her mouth. Damnit.

Kate tried to remind herself of all the reasons why she should push him away, tried to remind herself or all the things she'd told herself during the past year when he'd shadowed her. Tried to think of the hurt he'd caused her when he looked into her mother's case without asking. Tried to think of how immature he was. Tried to think of all his tries to get into her pants. Tried to think of the playboy he was. But every time a voice inside screams to let it happen. It screamed how much more mature he'd gotten. It showed pictures of how scared he was of leaving his little girl because of a curse. It screamed how his eyes kept looking at her like she was the only one he saw. Like right now. He wasn't only looking at her with the lust he felt, but his eyes told her how much he cared for her as well. They told her how deeply he wanted this. He wants her. Just the way she is. Scars and all.

Castle could see the inner war in her hazels, which was the reason he paused. He kept his close distance but didn't push further. Not yet. Not until she made the next move. Or until her eyes told him to continue. She wasn't exactly one to use words, so maybe her hazels would do the talking. Those amazing hazels. He could drown in them if she'd let him. As if she could read his hesitation, his pause, she nodded once and he didn't wait for her to change her mind. He pulled her hips closer to his as he leaned down to taste her lips in a chaste kiss. A chaste kiss that quickly escalated.

Kate found herself arch her back to push her breasts into his chest, twining her arms around his neck as her tongue seeked entrance. Her mind got dizzy in a way she'd never felt before and her greed for more had her body heat up in seconds. The way his hands started moving inside her hoodie to seek more skin had her shivering with anticipation. If it feels this good only kissing with his hands on my hips, imagine having them… Kate gasped when one of his hands suddenly squeezed her breast. She hadn't even had the brain-capacity to foresee where his hand had been travelling to. He took immediate advantage of her gasp, launching his tongue inside her mouth to explore in a way she'd not felt from past lovers. He did a twirl with his tongue and she felt her knees buckle, threatening to give out. That's when she felt him push her backwards into the bed, gently laying her down as he followed with one knee in between her legs, his thigh barely touching her center.

The second his lips left hers she breathed out a heavy curse, his lips and teeth teasing her jaw, her cheek, her earlobe, until he finally reached her neck. He sucked hard and drew out yet another profanity from her parted lips. Everything felt heightened, his lips, his touch, the way he took control like she usually never let the guy do. With him it felt good, it felt… right. His hands traveled down her belly, teased the hem of her tights before they dipped inside and she drew in a shaky breath. The anticipation was killing her as his fingers stroked just above the hem of her panties. His lips sucked harder and the heat went south, she felt herself getting wet despite the non-existing touching to her private area. She started to have a feeling that all the build-up they'd shared during the year, every sexual innuendo, was the reason she was already so damn close to the edge.

"Come on, Castle," she moaned when she tried to move her hips to get him closer and he just moved with her to keep it from happening.

His lips shut her up, kissing her and making her swoon before she felt him mumble towards her lips. "Didn't figure you'd be the begging type."

She narrowed her eyes on him but before she could pinch his ear or twist his nose or something he dipped his fingers into her panties, slipping through her wetness and her eyes closed because of the sudden pleasure. Her mouth parted and she moaned into his as their kiss grew more heated. She was surprised when she came the second two of his thick fingers thrust inside her, hadn't thought anyone would ever be able to bring her to the edge so fast without really doing anything.

When Castle pulled out his fingers she couldn't help but miss the feeling of him. Seeing him lick her juices of his fingers were a complete other turn on she wasn't ready for. Fuck, he looked so tasty. It didn't take long before she pushed him over, didn't take her much effort to get him off his pants so she could return the favor. The way he moaned and groaned as she sucked him made her wetter again. She could just taste the precum when he lifted her up and flipped them over again, crashing his lips onto hers. He pulled off her panties and teased her clit by rubbing his fingers in circles.

"Condom?" she asked into his mouth and he hummed, pulling away from her slightly in order to reach into his night table drawer.

Before he could rip the package she stole it from him and flipped them around again, wanted to take somewhat control over the situation again. You're already screwed, a voice told her in the back of her mind but she tried to ignore it. She stroked him before putting on the condom, feeling satisfied because of the moans she drew out of his panting lips.

Once she started sinking down onto him, placing him at her entrance to enter her slowly, none of them could keep their mouths shut and Kate hoped to whoever was listening that the walls and doors were thick enough to keep their sounds from going past them. They quickly found a rhythm that was fast and hard and oh so enticing. It didn't take long before they both reached their highs and it felt as though the last puzzle piece finally got into the right place as they felt release take over them.

With a startle Kate opened her eyes, looking around only to notice she wasn't in her own bed. And it took her another second to realize the dream hadn't been a dream at all. Especially not since she could feel his body heat behind her, their skin not exactly touching but close enough anyway. Slowly turning around she could see he was still sleeping, his features relaxed in a way she'd never seen them before. His breathing calmed her racing heart and she wondered how he could look so peaceful. He was always up to something, had always been a pain in the ass, but right then and there he actually looked pretty beautiful. Fuck, what is wrong with me? That curse must've rubbed off on her. Then again, she was worried about him for a reason. He was her partner. Kate stayed still as she listened to his breathing, couldn't help but smile at the even pattern and how deep in sleep he seemed to be. It had to be the curse. It just had to.

"Sleep with me," he mumbled and she felt her body twitch with surprise. But looking closer she could tell he was just sleep-talking.

Was he dreaming of her? Kate's thoughts kept spiraling around. What it meant. Why she'd taken that step. Why she'd even bothered to come and check up on him. It wasn't like her! So why had she? She definitely did not believe in the curse so what else could explain it?

"Beckett?" his voice brought her back to the present and she met his confused blues with her hazels. "You're… here? It wasn't a… a dream?"

Kate felt her cheeks burn. Maybe she should've sneaked out and pretended it never happened. He certainly seemed to have thought it was a dream, just like her. His shocked expression suddenly turned smiling and she felt her insides clench at the sight. Her heart started to pump faster and it didn't take more than a couple beatings before she recognized it as the panic it was.

"It was a mistake," she blurted out before it could go through a filter and she saw his smile immediately turn into a frown.

"What do you mean?" he asked and she clenched her eyes shut. Fuck.

"This wasn't supposed to happen, it's… I'm sorry Castle."

She started to wriggle herself away from him but just before she got out of the bed his fingers wrapped around her bicep.

"Wait, can we talk about this?" he tried to reason but she just shook her head, her heart beating even faster.

"No."

Kate pulled herself free from his hand and immediately went onto the search of her clothes, putting them on as she found them.

"Beckett? Wha…"

She didn't dare look at him, just simply focused on her clothes, because if she did she wasn't sure what she'd say or do. All she knew was it felt wrong. Or, it felt right but so wrong. She couldn't make up her mind.

"Kate?"

That got her attention, the way his voice had turned soft, filled with a fear she didn't recognize, and so she looked at him. She held her shirt in her hand, everything else already back onto her body.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes filled with confusion and if she wasn't wrong he sounded scared.

She felt herself freeze, her body still as she tried to think of a response good enough. What am I doing? She wasn't even sure she knew herself. She stood there for about two minutes before she broke free.

"Leaving," she said as she walked out, pulling the shirt over her head and exiting the door to his bedroom.

To her relief, no one met her in the living area. She could simply stride out of his loft without a second glance back.

Castle was shocked. Didn't know what to say or what to do when she started for the door. He just looked after her, unable to move. The rest of the morning went on as if he went on autopilot. His mother and daughter asked him what was wrong but since he didn't really know he didn't have an answer. Just said he was fine. He tried calling her once he was alone. No answer. Big surprise there. He considered showing up at the precinct, they were after all in the middle of a case, but if she didn't want him there he wasn't sure he wanted to impose. You've had no problems with imposing before, a voice said in the back of his mind and he rolled his eyes. That was before they slept together and she ran out on him.

So, he didn't. He stayed at home. He tried calling her a couple more times but she didn't answer. He tried texting her too. Same luck there.

"It was a mistake."

The sentence kept playing on repeat and he wondered what she meant. Did she not feel the same as he did? Or did she, but didn't know how to feel about it? Was it something else?

A/N: Sooo, hope you enjoyed this first chapter! There will be a full of 8 chapters + epilogue and I'll do my best to publish about 3 chapters a week but can't say anything for sure. The epilogue isn't finished yet but I feel like I've held this fic to myself for so long I wanted to finally just publish it and share it with the rest of you guys. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I have writing it (for the past two years... lol). Anyway, until next time, xxxx