(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)

Warning: The following review is rated T for violence and what-not.

[Oh yeah, before we begin, a quick disclaimer: this story was suggested by Wario the Tableman (you know, the Kirby High School guy) through a PM, which you are all welcome to do.]

Magolor's Coffeehouse

Episode 12: The Wrath of the Titan

TinyURL: y4umq7o4

"Hello, everyone," Magolor began, smiling and waving. "and welcome to Magolor's Coffeehouse!"

"So, as I'm sure you all know, Pokémon Sword and Shield, the newest installments of the Pokémon franchise, are releasing on November 15. Because of this, I figured we would celebrate by reviewing Pokémon fanfiction for the entirety of this month. And since we're riding off the heels of Spook Month, how about we pull a Simpsons Halloween special and start off this month with a Pokémon creepypasta?"

"Now, let's not waste any more time and just get right into it! This is "The Wrath of the Titan!"

I didn't have Pokémon as a kid. I come from a Christian home (not that there's anything "anti-Christian" about Pokemon, but you know).

"You know, I once came across an American pastor who would disagree with you."

Some American pastor (Don't know his name): Pokémon world is a world of the demonic! Of the Satanic!

Now, anyone you talk to who knows me will tell you that my favorite Pokémon is Munchlax. I'm not sure why, but I just love that thing, the cute baby version of Snorlax. This probably comes from a joke that my brother made.

I said, "You know, Alpha. If I was a Pokemon, I'd be a Snorlax." (because I'm kind of a big guy, 6 feet tall, 300 pounds.)

"I really want to believe you, but for some reason, I just can't," Magolor said, a little surprised. "I mean, not to discriminate or anything, but you normally don't associate this type of thing with adult men."

"So this is when our narrator first learns about Munchlax, and he eventually breeds one. Some time later, he asked his friend, who he refers to as Ryoji, to breed him a Shiny Munchlax."

Ryoji and I don't get to hang out much. I moved to go to college, and we both have busy schedules. But, one time when we DID get to hang out, he gifted me with the Shiny Munchlax I asked for. I asked that he name it Titan, because I knew it would be powerful when it evolved into a Snorlax. But I never used Titan in HeartGold. I left him in my PC Box. I had planned to get a copy of Platinum, and I was going to use him as my starter.

Magolor's demeanor changed from cheerful to unimpressed. "His Munchlax is gonna get upset that he doesn't use him and turns on him," he said in a near monotone. "Am I right or am I right?"

A few months later, I went to an anime convention, and there had been a Pokémon panel, which told us about some of the "dark rumors" of Pokémon. I would learn later that they were called "creepypastas". The Pokémon Booth told us about Buried Alive, Lavender Town Syndrome, Gary's Raticate, and the White Hand. This intrigued me a bit. Could there actually be a dark side to these fun kid's games? But that was beside the point.

"Yeah, don't worry about all that creepypasta nonsense. That has nothing to do with this story that just so happens to be posted on the SomeOrdinaryGamers Wiki."

[For those who are unaware, SomeOrdinaryGamers is a YouTube channel that reviews creepypastas, among other things.]

"Anyway, after our narrator returns from the convention, he decides to finish up his Pokédex in HeartGold. In doing so, he finds something particularly interesting…"

I went to Route 35, and the very first Buizel I encountered… was a Shiny!

"So he catches it, and he mentions how he thinks 'Shinies should be treated special [sic].' Remember this line, because it shows up again and again in this story. It's like this story's version of Uncle Ben from Sam Raimi's Spider-Man."

"Anyway, he beats the Elite Four again, and he ends up back in New Bark Town (you know, the usual routine), but this time, something very strange happens…"

I walked downstairs, and I saw mom and Lyra sitting there. I found this odd, because I don't recall ever seeing Lyra outside the main story or the Celebi event. Mom then got an "!" icon above her head. She then walked up to me and a Text Box appeared.

"Mom: Oh, Able, there's a Pokémon sitting outside. Is it one of yours? It looks sad."

(No, that's not a typo. My character's name was put in as Able; it was supposed to be Abel, but I didn't want to restart my game, since I didn't realize the mistake until I was already in Mahogany Town.)

"News Flash: we don't care."

I walked outside, and I was shocked to see a light blue Munchlax sitting there. Without my control, Able walked up to it. It's back was turned to him. Another text box.

"Titan: How could he do this to me? Ryoji worked so hard to create me and then he just ignores me!"

I was getting a little freaked out at this. How had Titan gotten out of the PC, and in New Bark Town? There wasn't a PC with a Pokémon storage system there, and weirder still, how was it talking? And about Ryoji? Titan then got an "!" above his head too. He turned around and saw Able standing there.

"Titan: You! How could you!? You spent countless hours grinding all the others, but you left me to rot in that PC box!"

At this point in time, The Price is Right theme began to play as Magolor jumped out of his seat and celebrated.

"Ha! I knew it!" he shouted. "I knew this story wasn't gonna have an original plot line! It's 'Pokémon Dead Channel' all over again!"

I was then thrown into a battle, and the Rival's theme was playing. The shiny Munchlax appeared. The Shiny animation played, but his sprite looked angry, his cry was more low pitch, as if trying to sound mad, and it was level 100. This was wrong. Titan was supposed to be level one. He had never been in any battles at all! The text box read, "Ryoji's Titan appeared!" The first Pokémon I sent out was my Level 100 Munchlax that I named after myself. Titan then spoke once more.

"Titan: You would spend hours training this Munchlax, but you don't give me the time of day? Unforgivable!"

I chose the command Thunder, but Titan moved first.

"Titan used Body Slam!"

"Critical Hit!"

"Django Fainted!"

I was getting scared. He just 1-shot one of my best Pokémon!

"This goes on for a long time, so I'll just paraphrase here: Titan proceeds to OHKO everyone on the narrator's team. Once that's over, our narrator tries to give Titan a peace offering, but he refuses and leaves. After that, he never hears from Titan again. All's awful that ends awful."

So, once I transferred everything I wanted to, and upon fully completing the HeartGold Pokédex, I restarted my copy of Platinum, and named my character Crimson. It started out normal. (Or what I assumed was normal, since I hadn't played Platinum before.)

So Verde (my Rival) and I were about to receive our starters from Rowan. I chose Chimchar. I usually go with water types, but I don't like Piplup, and I thought Infernape was pretty cool. I clicked on Chimchar and was greeted by a text box that said

"Crimson: … … …"

...What was that supposed to mean? I clicked again but got the same thing. I tried Piplup, but got the same message. I HATE grass types, but I didn't seem to have much choice. I chose Turtwig… and got the same text box. I was confused. It wouldn't give me a starter? After the text box disappeared, it sent me back to the overworld. Then Rowan spoke.

"Rowan: You don't like any of these? Then how about this one?"

I was sent to another screen with one Poké Ball. Another text box.

"Rowan: I found him outside my lab this morning. He seems sad."

I clicked the Poké Ball, and I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a Shiny Munchlax. I chose him, and Rowan said, "He needs a good home. I know you'll be a good partner for him, Crimson."

I checked the Munchlax's stats. Sure enough, it was Titan. It was male, holding a Soothe Bell, level one, Hasty Nature, and his OT was Ryoji.

"So, of course, Titan somehow made his way into the narrator's copy of Platinum," Magolor explained, before getting ponderous. "How is that supposed to be possible on any plane of reality? He wasn't transferred over, so that can't be it. Is he supposed to be some kind of virus? Because if so, I hope he makes your DS blow up."

"But anyway, the narrator begins his playthrough of Platinum with Titan as his starter, just as he intended. TL;DR, he beats the Elite Four, and he continues playing so he can complete this game's Pokédex."

I woke up in Twinleaf Town, and I expected to go on my quest to capture all the Legendaries and fill THIS Pokédex. I went downstairs, then walked outside. But when I got outside, there was someone waiting for me….

It was Ethan, the trainer from HeartGold! Even though I hadn't played Platinum before, I was pretty sure that this wasn't supposed to happen. Heart Gold came out AFTER Platinum, so that sprite shouldn't even be there. I gasped when I saw the next text box.

"Able: …I'm here to take Titan back with me…"

JonTron: Excuse me, whaaaaat?

"Okay," Magolor began, ready to go on a full-blown tirade, "I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things. I can accept the fact that the GameStop guys didn't destroy that copy of Kirby's Creepy Yarn when he had the chance. Heck, I can even accept the fact that Kirby came to life and killed the narrator at the end, but I absolutely will not accept the fact that your character from HeartGold just moseyed on over to your copy of Platinum and is acting without any player input? Not even the Game Theory ARG was this convoluted! I'm shocked your DS hasn't melted yet."

Able then ran towards Crimson and Titan, and a battle engaged. It said "PKMN Trainer Able came charging!" I had only seen this message once before, on my copy of Diamond. The message "***** Came charging!" is from the very first battle, when you're ambushed by some wild Starly, and you have to use your newly-picked starter to battle.

Able sent out a level 100 Feraligatr named Saber first.

Titan merely came out. Crimson wasn't even on the screen. Titan was level 100 now instead of level 65 where he'd been after the Elite Four. Then, a command was picked without my input. The game chose "Fight". I was surprised to see the entirely new move set.

Titan knew Metronome, Body Slam, Giga Impact and Return before our battle with Cynthia. Now he knew Thunder, Megapunch, Crunch, and the last move made me shudder….Guillotine. I knew that Guillotine was a real move, but Snorlax can't learn it. The only Pokemon that I know for sure that can learn it are Pinser and Kingler (I don't use one-hit KO moves so I don't know who all can use them).

"On second thought, maybe it isn't a virus," Magolor commented. "I'm starting to think this may all just be a dream."

Titan used Thunder. It was a critical super effective. My eyes widened at the next text box.

"Saber died!"

Died? ...Died!? Pokemon don't die when they lose a fight!

"I concur!" Magolor shouted. "This story has become utter hogwash!"

"So the same routine happens for everyone on Able's team, except they all die, because that's creepy, I guess."

...But something was wrong...the battle didn't end. Able's sprite scrolled back to the screen. The game picked the "Fight" option. There was one move that hadn't been use yet….Guillotine.

"Titan used Guillotine!"

After the attack connected, the head on Able's sprite was gone. Some red pixels covered his neck, and he fell off the screen.

"Able died!"

JonTron: Do you think I'm gonna keep going after that?

It then cut back to the overworld. It showed Able's dead body laying there. Titan then turned and looked at Crimson.

"Titan: I'm sorry you had to see that. But I had to do it. He neglected me. He wanted to take me away from you. You showed me kindness, and gave me the life I wanted… do you still love me?"

The game gave me a [Yes/No] option.

"Heck, no!" Magolor blurted. "You just committed cold murder! Not cool, man!"

I paused, trying to comprehend what had just happened. I was still confused about how Titan had gotten into Platinum to begin with. I couldn't think of an explanation. And now, Able shows up, and then Titan killed him and his entire team! Not KO'd. He killed them. I had never used an Action Replay on HG, and I knew it wasn't hacked because I bought it brand new from GameStop. The copy of Platinum was used, but the only hacks I could see was the cheated amount of items on the previous save file…

I looked back at the game. Perhaps Titan was right. On HeartGold, I should've showed him more care. I hadn't used him at all, even though Munchlax is my favorite Pokémon, but I did use Poseidon, a Shiny I got by chance, while Ryoji spent a long time trying to breed Titan specifically for me. I can understand why he felt betrayed. I DID still love this Pokémon. He's one of my favorites, and a shiny on top of that… plus, I was kind of scared that he'd turn on Crimson if I said no. I clicked "Yes".

Another text box appeared.

"Titan: …You hesitated… You're mad at me… You don't love me any more… not after I've done this…"

The game then made the Metronome sound and a flight animation played. Titan flew away like last time. It faded to black and returned to the title screen.

"Well, looks like it's all over now. Sure, there were a few hiccups, but I think this might be one of the best creepypastas I've ever read—"

Dumbfounded, I switched the DS off, and decided to check my copy of HeartGold. When I opened it up, my save file was still there. I loaded it, and it showed New Bark town. Near one of the trees were 7 gravestones, like the ones in the Lost Tower. Mom, Lyra, and the sprite of the main character from Platinum were standing in front of them.

Able's mom was crying.

"Mom: How could this have happened? *sob* Able….*sob*"

My jaw dropped at the next text box.

"Ryoji: It's my fault. I created that monster. Now I'm going to finish this."

"Lyra: Ryoji, you couldn't have known this would have happened. It's not your fault."

"Ryoji: I'm sorry… but I have to do this."

Magolor banged his head against the table, groaning and complaining like he had the worst stomach ache in his life.

"It just goes on and on…" he muttered.

"So Ryoji finds out what went down, and he sets out to find Titan. He eventually finds him at Spear Pillar, and we get what would be an epic final battle, if it weren't for the fact that this is a creepypasta and nothing scary happened yet!"

I knew it was going to be a tough fight so I started out with my Level 100 Hippowdon, Gaia. Titan used Crunch and took out over half of its HP. That was ridiculous! He was my tank, and he's not even weak to Dark-type moves! I responded with Earthquake but barely scratched him.

Titan followed up with a Megapunch. A text box saying "Gaia died!" appeared. Now it was happening to me too! I tried the rest of my team, but Titan was a monster. He wiped them out one by one, Terra, my Scizor, Leviathan, my Empoleon, Ziz, my Flygon, and Masamune, my Gliscor, each one dying instead of fainting, until all I had left was Behemoth, my Shiny Tyranitar. I sent him out as my last hope. Afraid I would end up like Able, I opened with Dragon Dance, but Titan responded with Megapunch and one-hit killed my trump card.

I was screwed. My sprite appeared on the screen, and I heard a Snorlax's cry. A text box.

"Titan: I'm sorry, but now you will meet the same fate..."

"Titan used Guillotine!"

I closed my eyes and waited for the worst. But then I heard something that made my heart leap: The cry of a Charizard. The attack began it's animation. As the blades appeared, Cloud swooped down out of nowhere, like when a Pokémon uses Fly in battle. Just as the attack connected, the black Charizard pushed my trainer's sprite back and took the hit. My heart sank as I watched my prized Pokémon's health plummet. But as it hit one HP, a message appeared saying:

"CloudMkIII endured the hit!" Followed by another, saying, "CloudMkIII: You will not touch him!"

I nearly passed out from the surprise. Cloud was speaking! And what's more, he was protecting me!

"Yeah, I'm close to missing my deadline, so I'm just not gonna comment on this. Just sit back and enjoy the show, I guess."

"Titan: Why? Why do you get all the love?! You protect him because he cherished you, but what about me?! Don't I deserve to be loved too?!"

Cloud made a low rumbling sound, that sounded like a Charizard's cry when it faints.

"CloudMkIII: You were cherished, you just didn't see it. Crimson was scared, but he would never have left you."

"Titan: LIES! He doesn't love me anymore! Whether he's Crimson or Able, I'll get him at the source!"

The battle resumed and Cloud used Sunny Day. I wasn't in control anymore, otherwise I would never have chosen this. Cloud only had one HP left, and he couldn't afford to set up.

Titan used Thunder and landed a critical, but the message, "CloudMkIII endured the hit!" came up, followed by, "CloudMkIII: I will never back down!" Cloud used Flamethrower and took out a good third of Titan's health. Titan used Mega Punch, but once again, the messages played and Cloud survived.

"Titan: How can you stand up for a trainer who isn't even real? How can you endure so much for someone from another world!? He creates Shiny Pokémon at will, not even cherishing them like the rare gems we are!"

"CloudMkIII: Because our worlds are connected. Ryoji's sprite here may be fake but somewhere out there is the one who raised me. He went out of his way to create us! He gave us life! And you will not harm him or his friends!"

Cloud proceeded to use Solar Beam, and the Critical Hit brought Titan's Hp to 0. I let out a premature victory shout. But my feeling of triumph turned to fear when Titan didn't fall from the screen and another text box appeared. My stomach knotted up as I read the message.

"Titan: If I can't get my revenge, then I'll take you down with me!"

"Titan used Explosion!"

I hoped, I prayed that Cloud would endure this too. But my hope turned to despair...

Cloud's HP hit zero.

"CloudMkIII Died!"

"Titan died!"

Both sprites fell off the screen, and the battle ended. It returned to the over world, still at the Spear Pillar. Titan was gone, and there, laying before me was a bloody, black Charizard. It was lying in a crumpled heap, on top of a patch of red pixels. It was covered in battle scars, and its tail flame had gone out. I examined it, but a text box appeared, reading

"It's no use. He's gone."

"And just when you thought this story couldn't get any more weird, this happens…"

All of a sudden, I heard a strange noise, and I looked up to see Palkia and Dialga appear before my sprite, emerging from the portals that they came out of earlier in the story. When the spacial warp stopped, a text box appeared.

"Palkia and Dialga: We have borne witness to your struggles, and have taken an interest in your skills.

"We have deigned to grant you a gift. We will return Cloud to you, but no one else. They will serve as reminder to you of how you affect this world with careless actions and that life is precious. NOW GO!"

They screeched and the world went white. I woke up in my house at Twin-Leaf and checked my party. Cloud was there, but as a shiny Charmander and at level one. His name was CloudMkIV.

"I have no words for how convoluted and absurd this is."

"So the battle has won, Titan is no more and everyone lived happily ever after… or perhaps not…"

A few weeks later, I went to Anime Weekend Atlanta with my friend, Yoshi, and I accidentally left my copy of White in her car. When I got it back, she told me she left me a surprise... there, in my PC Box, there was a female shiny Munchlax.

The End?

"And now the story has finally come to an end," Magolor began. "Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. The story was good, the pacing was alright, and it didn't succumb to the droll stereotypes that all creepypastas fall victim to these days. That being said, though, it wasn't scary. But I feel that's just preference rather than a suggestion for improvement. Needless to say, after all that garbage I had to review for Spook Month, this story was a nice change of pace."

"That about does it. I'm Magolor, and Pokémon Month has just begun!"

The End

Special Thanks

Channel Awesome

Keldeo the Critic by Matthais Unidostres

Kirby H by DokiDokiTsuna

JonTron's StarCade: Episode 4 - Nintendo Star Wars

JonTron - Goosebumps (Part 2)

HAL Laboratory