Kate got to go home later that day, with a fair warning she wasn't allowed back to work for another three days. When she'd asked why the doctor simply said because she needed to have a few days relieved of stress and with her work there was no way she could be without stress while working. At first she'd tried to argue but when the doctor said it could be damaging to the baby growing in her belly, especially since she wasn't far gone, she shut her mouth and only cursed herself for not finding out sooner so she could've avoided this whole situation in the first place.

As soon as she was out of the hospital she'd let the boys know she wouldn't come in for the next few days, she didn't tell them why. She'd asked Castle not to tell them either and he'd, to her surprise, not even asked why but simply agreed. Speaking of the writer, he'd been the one to drive her home. Her dad had offered too but when Castle had asked how she planned on getting home he had immediately dropped out, saying he thought it would be good for the two of them to have time together to sort things out. She wasn't sure what exactly that meant but she figured he only wanted what was best for her and the writer. Once they'd gotten to her apartment she had invited him up for a cup of coffee, thought that perhaps it'd be best if they did talk. Now, sitting on her couch with a glass of water in her hand and a cup of coffee in his, she didn't know how to start. Or what to talk about.

"Is it okay if I tell my mother and Alexis? Or should I wait until after the first trimester?" Castle broke the silence and she looked at him as he took a sip of his coffee.

"What's special during the first trimester?" she questioned dumbfounded. The doctor had said something about her needing to take it extra easy during the first trimester too but in such an obvious way Kate hadn't dared to ask why.

"The risk is higher for miscarriage during the first trimester, after about ten to twelve weeks pregnancy the risk drops dramatically. Which is why most people don't tell they're pregnant until they've passed the first trimester," Castle explained and she was so thankful he didn't say it in a way that indicated she should've known this.

"Oh, well, maybe wait then, just to be sure?" Even to herself it sounded more like a question than a statement but she tried not to care anymore. If they were about to have a baby together she needed to pull it together and stop closing herself off. "You said ten weeks? According to the doctor I'm 9 weeks along."

She watched as his eyes widened and could tell he was counting back in his head to see if that made sense. It did, she'd already counted about hundred times when the doctor told her. She'd been with Castle last and no one for a couple years before that so it had been no question who the father was, but it still felt like a too long time ago. It hadn't occurred to her that it had been that long since they slept together until the doctor told her.

"Well, then we won't have to wait long," Castle eventually said and she nodded slowly.

They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and during those Kate couldn't stop her thoughts from wandering. Her mind started conjuring up pictures of her, a baby and Castle and she could feel her belly do flips with the fright that filled her body and soul. How the hell was she supposed to be a mom?! And how would they work it all out? Shared custody? Live together or separate? Should she just hand it all over to him, she already knew he was a great dad, so would that be best for the child? Probably not the option he would prefer. She slightly remembered one time when they'd talked between theories how he disliked how Meredith had never been around when Alexis was a kid. He'd told her he didn't like her any longer at all but that he still had wanted her in his daughter's life, especially since he could see how much it hurt Alexis.

"Are you… do you want to try... " What was she trying to say? She wasn't even sure herself what she wanted to do, didn't know what she felt.

She'd not felt the same since she told him to go away. And to be completely honest she hadn't expected him to actually listen to her and stay away, if she did she might not have turned him away like she did. She'd expected him to be back after a week or so. Imagine her surprise when a week turned into two and then three and so on. It had felt empty and… not fun. Her coworkers had given her looks of concern but she'd tried to keep a straight face and focused on work. Lanie had tried to get her to share her feelings, but again she'd just shut down the M.E. saying she was fine.

Waking up to see him right there, in the hospital, thinking she was hurt… it both made her feel a sort of relief she'd never felt before along with a fear she hadn't felt since that day she walked out of his bedroom with quick feet. Then she'd fallen asleep again, and he'd still been there when she woke the second time. And the third. Now he was sitting right here, on her couch, discussing their baby, in her belly.

"Try what?" he asked, pushing slightly to get her to say whatever was in her mind.

She wasn't good with words, he was the writer goddamnit, but she knew she had to try. "Us? Be an us I mean," she halfway whispered, her cheeks blooming with warmth.

She could tell he was a bit overwhelmed by the way his eyes widened slightly before he tried to compose himself in order to answer without giving away too much emotion. Maybe he was too hurt by the way she'd ended things before they could even begin, maybe he wouldn't care to try and give them a shot. Maybe it was for the best.

"Are you sure you want to? I mean, last time I tried you told me to get the hell out of your life," he was careful with his words, gently letting them roll off his tongue in a way that he designed to avoid provoking her.

She bit her lip, her hand unconsciously moving towards her belly where, apparently, a small person was being created. It didn't occur to her what she was doing until his eyes followed her hand and she noticed she was rubbing small circles to her still pretty flat stomach. Her cheeks turned even hotter than they'd been earlier and she suddenly wondered if she'd done that same gesture before she ended up at the hospital. Now that she thought about it maybe she did, and wondered if that had been her subconscious knowing what was going on long before her mind did.

"I want to try," she whispered out her confession. "I didn't… didn't think you'd actually leave. I didn't want you to leave."

After her confession Castle and her had decided to go out on a date, a real date. Beckett had made the writer promise it wouldn't be anything too fancy, nothing 'extravagant' as she had put it. It hadn't exactly been his style, had always gone for the wooing, but he'd agreed knowing she was not that type of girl. She wasn't the one who was after money or fancy dresses or jewelry. Not in that way anyway. And that's one of the things that drew him in. She hadn't thrown herself at him the way many people, too many, do.

Beckett couldn't believe how nervous she felt over the date, she'd been so nervous she'd told Lanie about it all. Well, not all of it. Which, of course, had turned out to be a mistake. Lanie had forced her out shopping only a day before the date and made sure Kate had something new to put on for what she referred to as her last first date ever. That did not only make her more nervous but it actually scared the shit out of her! Her last first date?! What the hell Lanie! Where had that even come from?! And why, oh why, was the M.E. so certain it was Castle she was supposed to end up with?!

It had taken her a full afternoon to prepare for her date, and now she was pacing back and forth in her apartment trying to still the constant butterflies moving around in her belly. Or was it their baby? It couldn't be. Not already. Could it? She tried to push those thoughts away as she once again went past her mirror to check and make sure her makeup was still intact. She hadn't made anything extra, only did her makeup like she wore it to work, but she was starting to regret not having done anything more. Sure, she had new clothes, but she wasn't sure if that was enough. Gosh, what was wrong with her? She was never this nervous before a date! So, what the hell was so special about this one? It's with him, a small voice whispered at the back of her head and she shook her head in order to try to compose herself.

At the sudden knock she felt her whole body stiffen before she got a hold on herself and yelled out an 'I'm coming!' as she went towards the door. Taking a hold on the door handle she took in a deep breath to let out slowly before she actually pushed the handle down to open the door, revealing the writer on the other side. It also revealed a bouquet of flowers, purple lilies, and she felt her cheeks blossom because of the warmth and the smile sneaking onto her lips.

"Wow," he said and she suddenly noticed the way he was looking her up and down.

Just by the way he was looking at her she knew she'd made the right choice of buying the light-beige jacket along with the brownish blouse and the blue pants with the red and white stripes. Lanie had tried making her buy dresses, but after trying about five dresses Kate had refused to play along any further. She'd found the pants first, to Lanie's horror. It had almost been amusing watching the M.E. squirm when Kate even suggested she could wear pants to the date. It had been especially amusing when her best friend had realized the pants were in the men's section. Lanie had said she'd 'only agree' to Kate's choice of attire if she found something that could actually go with the pants. After that it hadn't taken long before she found the beige jacket and she fell instantly. To her amusement Lanie had only narrowed her eyes and then scanned the area before grabbing the brown shirt and pushing the detective towards the changing rooms.

Castle's eyes were roaming her clothes and she could see he was enjoying the view even though she technically wasn't showing anything. It made her belly flip with excitement and she drew her lower lip into her mouth.

"Hi Castle," she greeted and his blues immediately snapped to hers, the smile evident in his ocean eyes.

"You look amazing," he said with a foolish grin taking over his lips. He jerked his head a bit, as if he remembered something, and held out the flower bouquet towards her. "These are for you."

She accepted them with an 'Oh, thank you.' and invited him in so she could put them in a vase with water before they left for the evening.

"So, I've been thinking about what you said about nothing fancy, which narrows down all of the places I usually go to by the way, and so I have a suggestion. There's a new Thai place I've been interested to try out and the food there is supposed to be phenomenal, it's not fancy persé but it's not exactly Remy's. What do you say?"

Putting down the vase with the flowers on her kitchen table she considered the two options. She had meant what she said, she didn't want anything fancy, but at the same time Remy's wouldn't quite feel like a date, would it? Besides, he usually went all and above with his dinner plans, his date plans, so perhaps they could settle on something in between? If this place wasn't fancy-fancy but still fancier than Remy's maybe it was the perfect in between they should be settling on?

"Thai sounds good," she said as she turned to him and she saw his eyes lighten with excitement, which was immediately mirrored by her own belly with a bunch of butterflies.

"You ready then?" he asked and she bit her lower lip with a nod. "Let's go."

The date went a lot better than she thought it would, not at first though. Castle must've been as nervous as she was because he'd been quite clumsy the whole first ten minutes until he apologized saying he was screwing everything up and understood if she just wanted to forget the night and go home. She didn't. Kate actually confessed her nerves being all over the place and after that it all just… went away. They started chuckling about it and he said something about how she was the one with nothing to worry about because she was the one with the gun. That had brought a laugh to her lips and after that it was all back to normal. Or rather, their normal. They exchanged a banter she'd missed the two months without him. The food was amazing too, which had brought a moan from her lips and she'd seen the way he'd looked at her, it made her blush. Once they'd finished their meal Castle asked if she wanted to go for a walk, honestly saying he didn't want the night to end. She'd bit her lip before agreeing, she didn't want the night to end either.

As they were walking in a park not far away from the restaurant she felt his fingers carefully bumping hers with each step they took. The smile that had been on her lips the whole evening got even wider as she carefully slid her fingers between his and his hand wrapped around hers with such a warming hug-alike movement.

"So, this Demming, did you go out with him?" Castle asked as she finished going over some of the cases he'd missed while being gone.

She looked at him with furrowed eyes. "No, why would I?" He gave her a look and she looked ahead of them, thinking. "He asked me out, yes. But even though we kinda clicked it didn't feel right. It felt all wrong, even when I played him and flirted with him to let the guys find out if he was the killer, I didn't actually feel anything for him. This," she held up their connected hands and with a whisper-ish sigh said, "this feels right."

He nodded and slid his thumb over the back of her hand, making her breath hitch at the sudden tingle it sent into her veins.

"When are you going back to work?" he asked, knowing she wasn't exactly comfortable talking about her feelings the way he'd want to.

"I've got tomorrow off too, then I'm back. Will you…" she swallowed before she looked up at him. "Will you come back?"

He smiled big. "You wouldn't be able to get rid of me now even if you wanted to."

She couldn't help but mirror the smile, and to her small surprise he stopped walking. She wasn't prepared for it and so she came bouncing back to him when his hand pulled her towards him. His left hand came up to seek contact with her cheek, his blues looking into her hazels in order to see anything that would keep him from doing what he was about to. There was no way she was going to stop him though, and so he leaned down only for her to lift a bit on her toes in order to meet him halfway. Feeling his lips against hers had her belly flatter worse than it had before the date. It was like the whole damn zoo was taking refuge in her belly instead of the butterflies from earlier. The sparks flying into underneath her skin made her open her mouth as she felt his tongue asking permission. Tasting him made her head spin as well, made her thoughts lose coherence, lose any thoughts of everything but him. The way he'd tasted that morning, the way he'd turned her into a moaning mess. The way he was making her feel right now. Slowing down the kiss she felt herself slightly breaking away in order to get air into her lungs.

"Wow," she sighed and he hummed in agreement.

"Probably should've saved that for when we're at your door, but I couldn't wait," he confessed but she shook her head.

"I want another one, don't worry," she teased and opening her eyes to look into his made her all giggly inside. His face was blossoming up to a wide smile and it looked so adorable how excited he was.

"Good," he dipped down a bit in order to simply peck her lips, sending her heart fluttering before they continued their walk, hands still tangled.

They continued to talk about what had happened during the last two months, Castle gave her the what's current with his daughter and his mother and Kate told him about the boys, the captain and the M.E. The boys had tried questioning Kate about what was wrong, if he'd done something and if they should pay him a visit. She'd just told them to back off, that none of it had been his fault but both of them. Apparently so had both Alexis and Martha. She was almost horrified about the fact that he'd told his mother everything, but then she remembered she'd done the same with her dad. At least he hadn't told the full story to Alexis, had said they kissed, but not about the sex. If he had done so she didn't know how she would've ever been able to face the teen again. Let alone give birth to her brother or sister. Oh god, she was giving birth to Alexis' sibling.

"What's wrong?" he interrupted whatever he'd been saying and she looked at him to see he was observing her face.

"Nothing," she said too fast and shook her head. "I mean…" He waited patiently and so she took a deep breath. "I'm still not used to the fact that I'm pregnant, that my baby, our baby, will have Alexis as a big sister. What will she think when she finds out? Will she accept her sibling? Will she give it a chance? Oh, she will figure out when we… Oh, god, she'll hate me," Kate babbled on before she shut her mouth with her eyes wide open with horror.

"Hey, don't worry, Kate, don't worry about that, she won't hate you," Castle was standing in front of her with his hands on her shoulders as he saw the panic flowing through her green hazels. "Kate, stop."

She didn't give any signs of stopping, her mind kept screaming all these new questions and worries. She already knew the girl would hate her, it was not even that hard to imagine. The girl would despise her, say she would never accept her, would never let her be with her father because once she figures out the reason she rejected him was them having slept together and the reason they got together would be because of the child growing in her belly she would think Kate never cared about her father. And Kate knew the two of them were close. So close that Alexis would never let her hurt her father again and even if Kate would try to convince her she wouldn't, the girl would never believe her.

"Kate!"

She only vaguely registered his voice, only slightly noticed the small tilt of his head, and before she knew it his lips were on hers again. Suddenly her mind went blank and all she could think about was him. How he made her feel warm. And safe. And like everything was absolutely perfect. Slowly he removed himself again only to lock eyes with her.

"Don't worry, everything is going to turn out perfect."

And somehow, deep in her heart, she believed him.