Rule # 41: When bored, do not paint Lord Megatron to look like a cat. (By inkdragon13)

(I think Optimus wore him out when they fought, because he had somehow managed to fall asleep in the middle of a briefing! His helm was drooping, his shoulders sagging, and all of a sudden, I had an idea.)

(Knock Out recognized the look in my eyes and immediately removed me from the bridge. It took some begging and more than a few promises of buffing him until he gleamed before he put me down.)

(Then it was a simple matter of gathering the appropriate colors and finding a couple other necessary supplies – very fuzzy supplies.)

(Thankfully, the Leader of the Decepticons stayed in recharge for all four hours it took to finish my – do I dare call it my masterpiece?)

(When he woke up… Primus I knew I was dead.)

(He was a dark steely gray, with white on his chestplate and the area around his mouth. The sides of his helmet had been painted to look like fur. On top of his helm were fluffy cat ears, kind of like the ones people wear on Halloween. To top it all off, he had a long, feathery gray tail.)

(Kitty Megzy! Starscream loved it. Breakdown was scared. Knock Out's expression said he wanted to die. The Vehicons were fighting hard to keep from laughing. Dreadwing glared at me with intent to kill. Airachnid, um, I think her opinion on the 'new look' was the same as Starscream's. Soundwave… well, if a faceless Decepticon can look nervous, he did.)

(If I had died for that prank, it so would have been worth it.)

Rule # 42: When bored, do not introduce the Decepticons to horror movies. (By Dream'sRealm)

(I was trying to explain the concept of human entertainment to Dirge. After spending a good half-hour explaining with him still not understanding, I decided to show him a movie. It turned into a horror movie marathon with half the crew, Insecticons included.)

(I couldn't sleep that night, and none of the Vehicons wanted to recharge. The Insecticons just watched, but I think that they were secretly scared.)

(Anyway, once a few hours went by with everybody afraid to shut their optics – or in my case, eyes – Breakdown came to investigate. He saw us huddled around the viewscreen, nobody moving, nobody saying anything, nobody even blinking, and laughed out loud.)

(That aft.)

(He said Knock Out would love hearing about this, and turned to leave.)

(I couldn't stop him. He's a lot harder to bargain with than Knock Out.)

Rule # 43: When bored, do not copy Starscream. (By Mayday200)

(Fifteen minutes. That's how long I got away with following Starscream and copying his movements. After that, it was me running to find Knock Out before Starscream caught me.)

(Someone decided to tell him that he had a 'pest' following him.)

(Damn you, Hardshell.)

Rule # 44: When bored, do not paint Knock Out. (By Mayday200)

(Two words: pink bikini. Also, I kind of painted him purple.)

(Knock Out always said he liked having all the attention on him, so I thought I'd help him along. It worked. Everyone gaped at him, and I'm pretty sure he got quite a few wolf-whistles.)

(What can I say? I'm an evil little fragger, to quote Breakdown when he saw what I'd done.)

Rule # 45: When bored, do not dance the caramelldansen. (By PixelusPrime)

(Blame Phineas and Ferb. I saw it on the one-hour special – Summer Belongs to You. I thought the dance was cute, though that might just have been from the anime-style way the characters were drawn. Why do people look so darn adorable with huge puppy eyes?)

(Since I thought it was cute, I thought – and blast my stupidity once more – that maybe the Decepticons would too.)

(Oi. Did I get myself in for the weirdest glances I have ever gotten in my life, or what?)

(I am never dancing again. Just sayin'.)

Rule # 46: When bored, do not record Starscream's mocking of Megatron and play it back for the crew to see. (By PixelusPrime)

(I'm not sure who hates me more at this point – Airachnid or Starscream? And I don't really care because I enjoy annoying them until they're logic circuits glitch.)

(Well, thank Knock Out for complaining about how much he hates listening to Starscream complain for hours on end and mock Lord Megatron's schemes and how he wishes that everybody else would see what an annoyance he is… and so on and so forth.)

(Before I go on, I have to say: I love my IPod. Here's why: it's helped me complete a number of pranks that I would never have been able to do otherwise, and because it has video and voice recorders.)

(Okay. Megatron watched the video I made, but why, I have no clue. He raised an optic ridge as he looked me up and down, as if assessing my reasons for recording Starscream.)

(Got back to the med-bay that evening to find a certain gray seeker laying on a berth, wings in tatters.)

(It's official. Screamer's going to kill me.)

Rule # 47: When bored, do not – if you value your life at all – ask Lord Megatron if that giant fusion cannon of his is compensating for something. (By Wredan)

(If you're ever going to ask Megatron something, be sure to catch him in a good mood. Trouble is, he's never in a good mood. And he was in an even worse mood after I talked to him.)

(Granted, I was feeling quite cheeky that day, and it didn't help that I was in the middle of a bet with my guardian, so I was a little more – um, I guess you could say blunt than usual. Put two and two together and you'll figure out why asking if the cannon was compensating for no one paying attention to him until he was a big bad evil warlord was a horrible idea.)

(Yet again, I wonder how anyone puts up with me here.)

Rule # 48: When bored, do not pretend to be an Energon Vampire. (By Naughtia)

(It freaks some 'cons out. You know how some people faint when they're scared? Same thing happens to Cybertronians, except it's called glitching. They're systems lock up and they crash to the ground. Best not to make it happen, in case you accidentally happen to be in the way.)

(I was making a joke! I didn't mean for Shiv and Frost to glitch because such a thing actually exists. It's called being a Syphon. They extract energon from their comrades instead of ingesting it from energon cubes.)

(Once Shiv came back online, he demanded Knock Out take a full-body scan of me to be sure I was just joking.)

Rule # 49: When bored, do not go into Lord Megatron's quarters. (By Rainy-day's younger sister)

(It's scary in there. I made myself forget exactly what I saw, but I remember the fact that it's creepier than Airachnid's trophy room.)

(I also remember hiding on one of the upper decks to be sure that no one knew I went into Lord Megatron's quarters. If they found out, I was dead, Knock Out's pet or not.)

(Took Breakdown and Knock Out three days to find me.)

(Yes, I hid from the Decepticons for three days. You got a problem with that? If so, then I dare you to go into the Decepticon Leader's quarters and tell me if you're not terrified that someone will kill you for doing so.)

Rule # 50: When bored, do not repeatedly imply that having an optic patch makes one a pirate.

"Hey, Patchy, where's your parrot?"

"Aye, aye, Captain Breakdown!"

"So does that make Knock Out your first mate?"

"Shouldn't you have a hook for a servo instead of a hammer?"

(Response A: 'Don't have a parrot. And my name's not Patchy.')

(Response B: 'If anyone's Captain, it's Lord Megatron.')

(Response C: 'I'm KO's assistant, not the other way around.')

(Response D: 'Ask me again and there'll be one less annoying human on this warship.')

Next Chapter: General Rules