Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)
[The following is an independently run review show. The views expressed are solely those of the reviewer(s) and are not that of spucubed Productions or its affiliates.]
Magolor's Coffeehouse
Episode 16: Magolor X Taranza Stories
TinyURL: wwoydgo
TinyURL: sx4ufu3
"Hello, everyone!" Magolor said, all too cheerful. "My name is Magolor, and welcome back to Magolor's Coffeehouse! It's February, and you know what that means. Love is in the air, or at least that's what the greeting card companies want you to believe. It's time to celebrate love, romance, and all things erotic, which is why I am hereby dubbing February 'Magolor X Month!'"
With that, Magolor pulled out a boombox and turned it on. From the boombox burst forth the beautiful tune of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." The song played for a few moments before turning itself off.
"To start off this month, I've got a very special guest to help me with today's reviews—"
As if on cue, the front door bell of the Kirby Café rang, indicating the entrance of a patron. The entrant, in this case, was a figure, similar in shape to Magolor, but with more of a spider motif. They had a bowl cut with two horns on their head, and six floating arms at their sides.
"And there he is now!" Magolor exclaimed. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our guest for the day, Taranza!"
As some canned applause rang out, Magolor motioned over to Taranza, and he went over to Magolor's table."
"So, Taranza," the Halcandran said to his spider buddy, "you know why you're here today?"
"No, because you refused to tell me anything about what we're doing here," Taranza replied.
"Well, today, we're gonna be reviewing some special fanfiction,"
"Special how?" Taranza asked, tilting his head.
"Special because they're romance fics featuring you and me."
All Taranza could do was stare at the egg wizard in sheer confusion, wondering what sick thoughts must have been going through his head right now.
"Now, I normally try to avoid romance fics," Magolor, "especially ones involving same-sex relationships, but in the spirit of Saint Valentine's Day, I'm willing to make an exception. And yes, I will be returning to Wattpad this episode, not because I want to, but because it has what I'm looking for today. So with that being said, let's get into the first story."
Taranza X Magolor - It's Okay.
By opalsgalaxy
magolor finds taranza depressed about something, and he goes to find out what it is | this is my first fanfic on here sorry if it's bad. lmfao
"Well, based on the story description, I don't expect this story to be that great," Taranza said.
"Don't judge a book by its cover, buddy— bad joke unintended," Magolor replied. "If there's anything my time as a fanfiction critic has taught me, it's that even the most elementary looking stories can be fairly decent. You just need to take a leap of faith, which is exactly what we're going to do. Let's begin!"
"it's been almost three years since i was freed from queen sectonia... so why am i still sad about it...?"
"Oh yes, I love it when people portray me as constantly depressed," Taranza commented sarcastically.
taranza was at the beanstalk, having flashbacks to when he kidnapped king dedede, who was saved by the star warrior, kirby. he remembered when he made dedede into a puppet, but failed to use him to defeat kirby. taranza called for queen sectonia, and the next thing he knew was that sectonia blasted him from her castle.
"i would give anything just to see her again…
"Oh, how I long for the good old days with my fair queen Sectonia! Oh woe is me!" Taranza proclaimed mockingly, making exaggerated poses, before getting serious again. "Seriously? Yeah, I get that grief is a part of my character, but it just can't be the only thing about me. Sure, I miss Sectonia. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. So why am I not so grief-stricken right now? A little thing called 'getting over it. I got over it, just like normal people, and I think that fanfiction authors should take this into consideration when they write me into a story."
Magolor stared incredulously at Taranza the spider boy. "What was that all about?" he asked.
"Don't worry about it. Let's just continue."
"taranza?"
taranza jumped a little. he looked over and saw magolor coming towards him.
"oh. hey, magolor. didn't see you there."
magolor sat beside him. "are you feeling okay? you don't look happy."
"Wow, real observant today, aren't you, Magolor?" Taranza joked.
taranza was about to say he was just sleepy, but then he stopped. he decided to just tell magolor the truth. maybe he would feel better.
"well, it's just that once been thinking about my queen…"
magolor looked surprised. "wow, you have a queen? you never told me that."
"Geez," Magolor groaned. "I don't even know Taranza's backstory? I must be really off my game…"
"So I go ahead and tell Magolor the story of me and Queen Sectonia," Taranza explained. "It's something just about everyone in the Kirby community knows already, so I'm not gonna go into detail about it here."
taranza began tearing up. "she was awful to me, b-but some reason, i still miss her. i don't know what it is."
"Oh, it's probably just the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in," Taranza said dismissively. "You'll be fine."
"it's okay."
taranza noticed magolor hugging him. "it's okay." magolor said.
taranza wiped the tears from his eyes, hugging back. "th-thanks…"
taranza felt himself being pulled closer. "what are you-"
he felt himself being kissed on the lips.
Magolor and Taranza immediately jumped back and turned their backs on each other, both making noises of disapproval and disgust. Taranza even started gagging at one point.
magolor immediately realized what he was doing, and pulled back quickly. taranza was blushing like crazy.
magolor stammered, "oh crap, uh, s-sorry! i wasn't focusing on what i was doing and i-!"
taranza pulled him back, kissing him harder. magolor kissed back. they both felt complete, holding each other and connecting lips with each other.
"I don't feel complete," Magolor stated bluntly. "I feel violated."
"I feel completely violated," Taranza remarked.
"Me too."
pulling away, magolor said, "i-i love you, taranza."
taranza smiled. "i love you too…"
then they just sat together by the beanstalk, gazing at the starry night sky.
Taranza and Magolor leaned back in their chairs and breathed a sigh of relief.
"It's over," Taranza muttered. "It's finally over."
"Yeah..." Magolor agreed. "To be honest, I thought the story would be a lot worse."
Taranza turned to Magolor, confused. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when I first found this story, I thought it would just have romance and not contain any substance. Now that I've read the whole thing, I kinda like it. It's a nice, comforting story that I wouldn't mind reading a second time, if I felt like it. In fact, I have a second story right here. Let's give that a read as well."
Like Stars (Taranza X Magolor)
By SoupTimee
Taranza finds himself staring at the sky one night, before Magolor comes along and joins him.
Cover art by me.
"So the story starts with me staring at the night sky," Taranza began. "I'm not suffering from any grief or depression in this story, it seems, so it instantly gets a pass from me."
The green grass lightly swayed, brushing Taranza's hands as he sat down on the large hill-
Gazing up at the beautiful night sky, he counted the many stars that patterned it, knowing it was impossible to count every single one out there- but it was a good way to pass time, and he didn't have anything better to do.
Not before long, an incoming figure caught the Floralian's eye.
It was one of Taranza's friends- Magolor, a friendly eared Halcandran- running in his general direction.
"'Friendly-eared...'" Magolor repeated, confused by the choice of words. "That's gotta be the first time I've ever heard that."
Magolor was a nice person. He made Taranza laugh, he was generally fairly welcoming- he could be a bit sarcastic, but it was usually all in good fun.
"That's actually quite an accurate description of me," Magolor said. "Good job, dear author."
The problem, though? Taranza had a huge crush on him- not that he would ever admit this- or so he thought.
An awkward silence filled the room, but Magolor eventually broke the silence by quickly saying: "Okay, back to being scared."
"Whew. Nice night out tonight, yea?" Magolor inquired with a breathy laugh, the shortage of such being the result of running the distance up the hill.
Taranza nodded in agreement, cool air brushing his face.
"Lots of stars. I bet I can name a few constellations up there, actually." Magolor added.
"Really? Like what?" Asked Taranza, tilting his head to the side.
Taranza never really had too much of an interest in stars-but to Taranza, when Magolor talked about something, it was so much more interesting.
"Again, a pretty accurate description of me," Magolor commented. "I approve."
"Well! That one right there is called... I think it's known as Galactus!" Magolor proudly pointed to a constellation resembling a lance.
"Interesting." Taranza nodded along, not really looking at the stars- but at Magolor.
" And that one... " He pointed to a different constellation, this one resembling that of a butterfly. "Is known as the Paradise Butterfly." Magolor grinned.
Taranza faced the sky, recognizing the name of said constellation.
"Oh, I know that one! There are lots of myths and legends of that butterfly in Floralia." Taranza stated, grin on his face and eager to add to the conversation.
"Hmm," Magolor faced Taranza and nodded, somewhat impressed. "I actually didn't know it had any link to Floralia. You're teaching me things about them, when I'm supposedly the one meaning to teach you!" Magolor said with a laugh, the delighted noise making Taranza's heart pound a little.
"Wow, I like how this author's using something as simple as stars in the sky to add some nice headcanon to this story," Taranza said. "Despite the fact that this story is poorly formatted, that is certainly something to enjoy."
"Hm, you know," Magolor hummed curiously, staring at Taranza's face and the sight of Magolor's yellow eyes staring at him only made his heart run faster- and his face bluer.
"You freckles... They look like stars, actually." He remarked, moving closer to the Floralian.
Taranza blushed a little. "Ah- um, thank you?" He stammered, rubbing the back of his head.
Taranza's mood immediately turned sour, and he moved back in his chair. "Okay, I don't like it anymore. Please stop."
"It's... Actually really pretty." Yellow eyes continued to stare into Taranza- he felt like he could just drop dead right on the spot. Why must I be so damn awkward around this boy? He internally complained. He was usually always calm, formal and composed, but around Magolor... Well, that was a different story. And he knew it.
"You know, freckles are also known as angel kisses." Magolor remarked, sounding a little nervous himself.
"Are they really called that?" Magolor asked, as he pulled out a laptop and looked up "Are freckles called angels kisses" into the search bar.
"Oh, so they are…" he concluded. "Huh. You learn something new every day, I guess."
Taranzas thoughts were cut off, as suddenly, there was a warm feeling on his cheek- eyes closed due to suprise of the sudden impact, he opened them, to see Magolor had just pulled away, the Halcandrans face now a dark red, eyes widened and trying to avoid the Floralians gaze.
Taranza realized what had just happened. Magolor had just... kissed him?
JonTron: Bad touch! Bad touch! Stranger danger!
A deep blue blush covered the face of the Floralian, as Magolor stammered an apology. "Oh I- I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking about what I was doing and, and-"
Magolor was cut off with another kiss- this time from Taranza.
"I feel the same." Taranza whispered to him, pulling away.
Magolor smiled back, encapsulating Taranza in a large hug, causing them both to fall over.
As they fell, they opened their eyes and both were on the ground- and laughed.
The two had never felt happier.
The two sat silently for a moment, then slowly began applauding.
"Another great story!" Magolor exclaimed. "Two for two! Incredible!"
"I really like this one," Taranza said. "It's cute and fun. 9 out of 10: would read again."
"Well, that concludes another episode of Magolor's Coffeehouse! See you next time!" Magolor said, he and Taranza waving to the audience.
Hey, everyone. spucubed here. Sorry it took me so long to get another episode finished. I'll try to get my act together for this month. See you next week!