Rule # 51: If Lord Megatron fails to heed Knock Out's advice and fuels the Nemesis with Dark Energon again, there's just one thing you need to know. (By Guest)
(And that is: hide.)
(No joke. At first the warship having a voice was cool.)
(But then it put the crew into stasis lock.)
(I was freaking out when Knock Out was shot. And if you tell him that, I will hunt you down.)
(Nobody could move, except for me. Everyone was frozen. Even Lord Megatron. Well, not everyone. Breakdown, Starscream and Airachnid were on a mission in Panamá.)
(Well, the ship only started scanning for organic life-forms after those Autobot-loving wimps showed up – and yeah, I'm talking about the Government 'liaison' as well. They were here for the database! The Nemesis could take out a small country in less than a week, and all those Autobots care about is the Iacon Database?!)
(Priorities, guys. Damn.)
(I'm off topic, aren't I?)
(Anyways, hiding is recommended because the warship will try to 'eliminate all impurities from within its systems.' I.e: it'll try to kill you.)
(Six hours of finding a hiding spot, being discovered, nearly being blown to smithereens, and having to run and find another hiding spot makes one extremely irritable. Not to mention very bitter about the incident.)
Rule # 52: No flash mobs. Period. (By inkdragon13)
(Especially to Gangnam Style.)
(I know I said I was never dancing again, and I mean it. But I wasn't the one who was dancing.)
(It was the Vehicons.)
(I showed them the music video, and they came up with the idea. I just organized it, being that I knew how a flash mob worked.)
(Said flash mob took place in the bridge… in the middle of one of Starscream's rants about how he could have won the battle if Lord Megatron had allowed him to command the troops instead of Dreadwing.)
(The commanding officers were not amused. Not amused at all.)
(In fact, only one 'con thought the display was funny. His name starts with a K and ends with a T and he decided to join in.)
(Why do I get the feeling KO got away with it because he's the only Decepticon medic?)
Rule # 53: Don't touch the rubber duck. (By PixelusPrime)
(Completely serious. Don't touch it. A certain Lord of Chaos will have your head.)
(You know what? Don't even mention the adorable, squeaky, yellow toy.)
(In fact, just forget I ever told you it existed.)
(Dead serious here. I was almost killed because I asked about it. Again, forget I ever told you about the rubber duck.)
Rule # 54: Convincing Megatron to have the crew dance to Thriller? Bad idea. Extremely bad idea. (By PixelusPrime)
(How I managed to convince him that it would be a great battle strategy, I have no idea. Why he believed me remains a mystery, one which I do not intend to solve.)
(In practice, the 'battle strategy' was cool. Giant robots dancing to Thriller is, in a word, EPIC.)
(In execution, not so much.)
(The Autobot scout started dancing too!)
(The Wrecker blared the song over his speaker systems.)
(The two-wheeler crossed her arms and watched, smirking.)
(The medic face-palmed.)
(Optimus Prime asked calmly Megatron if he was that desperate.)
Rule # 55: Animaniacs and Decepticons – do they look or even sound like they mix? (By PixelusPrime)
(It started when I watched Dot's I'm Cute song on Youtube. Don't exactly know why, but I was reminded of Knock Out. He's constantly drawing attention to the fact that he's the shiniest Decepticon.)
(Then I decided to pretend all the Decepticons were members of the Animaniacs cast.)
(Breakdown became Ralph the Security Guard because he's the 'con's bruiser, but he's not exactly the most intelligent.)
(Starscream was Brain because they both always have diabolical plots to take over, which ultimately fail.)
(Airachnid was Hello Nurse simply because she's the only femme and because Breakdown couldn't stop talking about her.)
(I decided to go with either Buttons or Runt for Dreadwing because he's like Lord Megatron's little lapdog.)
(Soundwave… I couldn't really come up with anything good for him… so he just became Dr. Scratchandsniff.)
(Lord Megatron became Thaddeus Plotz because he's the leader and because he's completely obsessed with his job as an evil overlord.)
(I spent a week calling them by these names before everyone got sick of it and Starscream and Airachnid teamed up to teach me a lesson about how it was not good for your health to mock Decepticons.)
Rule # 56: Just… just don't even try to explain Santa Claus. They don't get it. (By PixelusPrime)
(I don't even… Why did I…? Did I think they had some kind of similar holiday on Cybertron or something…?)
(I told them how Santa sneaks in on December 25th and leaves presents for all the good little mechs and femmes, and their optics lit up.)
(Well, not really, because their optics already give off light – oh, whatever.)
(Anyways, they started trying to be as good as possible, waiting for Santa to recognize their good behavior.)
(I tried to explain that the whole 'presents' thing only happened on Christmas, but they insisted that it happened all the time.)
(Megatron was not amused by his crew trying to be good for a change.)
(I am now banned from telling the Vehicons about any more holidays.)
(Bucket-head is such a killjoy.)
Rule # 57: Playing Slenderman with the Decepticons is not going to end well. (By Guest)
(Specifically because of Slenderman.)
(What he looks like, to be exact. Who on this warship also has no face, is tall, and has tentacles?)
(You know who I mean.)
(Revv mentioned the similarity first, and he, Dirge, Thrust, Frost, and I couldn't help but laugh.)
(It was true.)
(But why… Primus why in the Pit do we keep forgetting about Ravage?)
(Maybe because the kittycon has camouflage armor?)
(Maybe because I don't remember what happened the last twelve times I said something remotely insulting about a certain indigo Decepticon?)
(Whatever the reason, I need to stop forgetting so that I stop getting scratched and bitten!)
Rule # 58: Insulting Lord Megatron is Starscream's job. Even if it seems like a good idea, don't try and take over! (By Naughtia)
(Trust me, you'll end up like Starscream: in the med-bay with Knock Out making fun of your predicament.)
(Not that he would actually make fun of me for it; he'd just yell at me for being so stupid.)
(I swear, if he keeps yelling that loud, I'm going to go deaf.)
(Still can't remember what I said to make Lord Megatron mad, though…)
Rule # 59: Watch the finish! (By Naughtia)
(Oh, boy. In the words of Starscream, my guardian is a 'Vain, self-centered egotist.' It's not nice, but I can't really argue.)
(According to Breakdown, Knock Out has a little bit of mental instability when it comes to his appearance. He has to be perfect. He has to look better than everyone in the room. He has to be the center of attention.)
(To put it simply: Knock Out thinks the world revolves around him.)
(I had a bad day and needed to take it out on someone. First 'con I saw was KO. We got into an argument – don't remember about what – and I ended up drawing my switchblade.)
(The sound that followed made everyone in the immediate vicinity freeze and stare at me.)
(They knew that the Doc was having a bad day too, but I didn't. Nobody thought to tell me before I left a two-foot long scratch across his finish.)
(He went berserk. I had never been so terrified in my life. It took seven Vehicons along with Breakdown and Dreadwing to restrain him before he could decapitate me with his buzz-saw.)
Rule # 60: Starscream does not have a crush on Arcee. That's final.
(I don't know whether to believe Screamer or not. He does seem to go a little easier on her than any other Autobot.)
(Starscream maintains its because she's a femme, and therefore she's weaker than her comrades. Therefore, he should go easier on her.)
(Wouldn't the Decepticon thing to do be to go twice as hard on her because she's not as strong as the rest of the Autobots? After all, Starscream is an underhanded, devious, spiteful, little glitch.)
(So why does he hold back?)
Next Chapter: Interactions with Soundwave and Co.
Why do I get the feeling Shiloh's going to be severely outgunned?