Chapter IV: Easy is the descent into Hell.

"Kaya, do you know what your name means?"

It means I lost all sense of identity and was reborn into a new existence. I looked at Nekobaa from my cereal bowl. Mikasa extended its paw to my arm, begging for some milk. The other cats were outside or somewhere in the house napping and leaving fur everywhere. Only this orange cat was meowing and following me all around the house and garden, never letting me out of her sight. I wonder if she considers me a little kitten. I've read somewhere, sometime ago, when I first took Tommy in, that cats consider us bigger felines and that they imitate our behavior and gestures. That is actually a scary thought. If cats did that they would rule the world. And again, that would be scary.

The garden was beautiful. Now, fresh after rain, plants were vibrant green. The color was so vivid that it drew my attention several times during breakfast. On days like these it was easy to accept that all this is a dream. Perhaps these six years were only a long dream, compressed in ten hours of sleep. It would be the most realistic dream I've ever had, perfect for a book or a fanfic. I almost snorted at the thought. I couldn't write even a bloody Christmas card.

"Torreya nucifera" I answered, because believe it or not me and the local library were good friends. "Yew tree. Or more precisely, nutmeg – yew. A tree. It also means resting place, I think."

I looked back at Nekobaa playing with the cereals in the bowl. I wasn't hungry anymore. Well, she did say a less stupid name. I remembered that woman again. The blonde one. Well, I'm a tree apparently. It's not that bad.

"Correct, but another meaning is 'elder sister'." Nekobaa said smiling. "It's quite fitting, isn't it Kaya – chan?"

…um, what? I wanted to ask what she meant, but I was scared. Was this just a coincidence? To be honest, I shouldn't have cared. As long as she didn't use 'chan' after my name. I understood that Japanese used honorifics, but I disregarded them. Well, most of the time I did. Too mouth – filling. But there were instances when if I didn't use them, it would have been regarded as plainly mean or insulting. Insolent. And I wasn't hardcore enough for that.

Nekobaa was sewing something. It's that… the Uchiha fan? It seemed so. I will have my own clothes with the clan symbol. But was it my clan? The past week I've been obsessing with the thought. That and another. When did the Massacre happen in the anime? Or manga. Or whatever. It was exhausting waiting a mass – murder event to happen. Really.

I don't suppose I will actually survive if it happens. Wasn't this the plan? Every Uchiha member shall die except Sasuke and well, Itachi? I might not remember things from the manga but I did remember this. And yet I had no memory of precisely when it happened. I knew Sasuke was still a kid. But was he five? Was he six? Was he seven? Or even older? I couldn't remember. It's not like they will announce to the world that they want to take over the village. I wish they had. They would make everyone's lives a lot easier.

There was also the chance that it won't happen. That me, being born into this world will change some things. Was it too self-centered to give so much importance to my birth into this world? Even if it meant a mass-murder of an entire clan won't happen?

My insomnia got worse. Unless I exhausted myself, staying awake, often reading, hours and hours until I felt eyes burning in my skull. Then I would fall asleep in weird angles, when the sun was almost rising. And the headaches. Excruciating headaches, which would last for days. I thought it was because I read at night and because I wasn't getting proper rest.

This, until Nekobaa found me in bed, not being able to move even a finger without generating waves of pain through my brain. She went after a medic, with a livid face. To my surprise, the problem wasn't reading or the lack of sleep – although they contributed a lot – as much as it was an ocular tension generated by astigmatism. I've never ever, ever, in my life had problems with my eyes. And I had this feeling that they did not tell me everything. I might not know a lot about ocular problems, but I doubted that astigmatism required eye drops. Or that it generated such massive headaches.

It's funny really, an Uchiha with eye problems. Well… they actually went hand in hand, no? Yeah, when you're over using Mangekyou Sharingan, genius. I remembered the stages of the Sharingan some nights before, and reading about it had been really helpful, although the advanced stages weren't on paper, so I had to fish in my brain for memories.

Considering that our kekkei genkai was the Sharingan, which was pretty much dependent on the well-functioning of the eye, I really wondered how a preexisting eye-problem would influence the development in its first stages. If I ever get the chance to activate it. Sometimes it just didn't happen. A dōjutsu. Kekkei genkai abilities that work via the user's eye. I could picture with my mind eye the history book of the notable clans of Konoha from the Library. It took me a while understanding what the hell kekkei genkai means in the first place.

I shook my head. Too much thinking. I noticed that Nekobaa was watching me as if expecting something. Has she been talking? It seems so. I blinked, as the Cat Granny sighed.

"You didn't hear anything I've just said." It was a statement. The granny sighed again almost exasperated. "I am leaving this afternoon. You have food here and your clothes are clean. Don't burn the house until I come back."

I won't, unless someone else does.

"Yes, Nekobaa" I said taking my bowl and letting it slip in the sink. I cursed again my shortness. I couldn't wait until I grew an inch or two, as puerile as it sounded. I used to be fairly tall and it wouldn't bother me to be so again. It's unlikely. Judging by my feet and short legs, yes it seemed pretty unlikely. That if I don't get killed by Itachi or Obito before growing even an inch.

"I'm going for a walk." I told Nekobaa and took my leave without waiting for her response.

She shook her head, disapproving of how I was spending my free time. Who could judge her? What child prefers taking long walks alone instead of playing with other children? Apparently me. I abandoned my plan of trying to be a six-year-old since I told Iruka that, 'man stands face to face with the irrational; he feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason... and that, the absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world'. It just ... slipped. He had it coming. He, like many adults around that have ever seen me around playgrounds or at the Academy, wanted to know why wasn't I playing with the others and I just told him. I've known, as soon as I opened my mouth to talk that my answer was ridiculously exaggerated, straight from a philosophy book, but curiosity and annoyance was eating at me on the inside. His reaction had been priceless. He just half smiled with a baffled expression, vaguely twitching. 100% Worth it.

"Why don't you go play or talk with the other children?" offered the cat granny. "You might have some fun."

I seriously doubted. I smiled at the worried face of the granny and left. I couldn't blend with the others; most likely I would get frustrated or tired of the constant shouting and fidgeting of the children. I needed my time alone. To think. To plan. To sulk. Does it remind you of someone else? Not now. I didn't need that. I needed to list what I knew about Naruto and how I could use it in my advantage.

My feet knew the road without my constant attention. I had a route, from the Uchiha part of the village to the village itself. Yes, there was a difference, since the compound and the lands that the clan used were in a corner of the whole village, ostracized from the rest of the community. If I remembered and understood correctly we were under heavy surveillance. ANBU, watching closely every move of the clan members. That thought alone was creepy as hell. Adding that to my theory that I was under surveillance from both Nekobaa and Iruka. And those were only the people I directly interacted with.

Which posed the question, why? I was just an orphaned kid, true, an Uchiha one, but there were other Uchiha orphans and they weren't treated like ticking bombs. I didn't have the Nine Tails sealed inside me, I wasn't an ANBU Uchiha spying for my clan or the clan itself (hint, Itachi, hint) and I wasn't exactly acting out of the ordinary. Yeah, I had no social skills and no desire to interact with others, but orphans usually are…weird, right? No, there was another reason that had nothing to do with my usual attitude, behavior or anything like that. And it scared me that I couldn't pinpoint what.

Ha, Iruka keeping an eye on my progress for the village and Nekobaa for the Uchiha. They weren't trying very hard; I was after all just a kid, not very perceptive. I looked around to the people enjoying the summer day. It wasn't quite noon yet, and the morning was still young. The sun wasn't burning my skin so the walk would prove to be enjoyable.

Back to the Massacre. Yay, back to the darkest corner of my mind. Do I really have no event to link the Massacre to? That couldn't be. You don't just start genocide without giving out small clues. Yes, but usually they are discovered after the genocide. Well, not exactly, a psychopath wouldn't, but Itachi was neither a sociopath nor a psychopath. No, he was just the best double agent in Konoha. But he didn't have to worry about leaving evidence; he even told his own brother what he has done and the village council already knew. Danzo. Of course, he's done that to make sure Sasuke hated him. But still…

What I liked most about the compound – or to be more precisely – the only thing I liked about the compound was the forest. Well, not really a forest, but something like that. Perhaps the Uchiha were used to living surrounded by nature, by trees. I could definitely imagine the black haired people that loved fire so much, actually living out in the woods, because it provided better cover and privacy. Not that now they had a choice, but at least they had this enrichment of trees and plants. I, for one, loved nature and this was my escape from the shattered reality I was trying to piece out around me. I smiled as I got closer to the clumps of trees. The rest of the people were lost, behind, their noises long forgotten as if I haven't even passed through them. Here only the sun, the leaves and the river spoke. I froze in my tracks. The river.

Shit. How could have I forgotten? I cursed my mind and my ignorance. For crying out loud, it was obvious. Painfully obvious. The river. The river. The fucking river. Where Sasuke learned how to perform … that technique, trademark of the Uchiha. Something with 'Fireball'.But I'm pretty sure he learnt that by the lake. Yes, we also had a lake. Bunt nevermind that, something else happened before the massacre. Think. I started pacing impatiently, with firm steps, closing my eyes

I stopped pacing when my brain finally seemed to start working. Wasn't the river connected with Itachi's best friend death? The one he supposedly killed, but who actually gave his life and right (or left) eye to Itachi? Because Danzo took his other eye. Yes. Because he and Itachi were against the clan's coupé d'état. And pretended that he committed suicide, in the river. What was his name? The name burned in my mind, but I could not see it to save my life. Quite literally.

Am I just fabricating all this? Did this actually happen in the anime? Did this already happen here? Because it sounded like something right out of a horror movie. I wouldn't be surprised if I just made up the entire thing or mashed up memories.

I would know if that happened. I mean, it wasn't every day that someone decided to end their life. The clan would have started to hoot about this. It would, at the very least, seem suspicious and an entire inquiry would ensue. Did the Massacre happen immediately after that guy's death? I didn't know.

But it wouldn't make sense. For a second I imagined planning the assassination. The death of a clan member would alert the head of the clan. They would know that something is happening. They would be suspicious of anyone linked with the dead person. and be on guard. Prepared. I shook my head. This was stupid if even a child could deduce that. Itachi would seem suspicious to his own father, but would he really kill his own family? But that's where Obito's role comes into place, no? Fuck.

Or perhaps Fugaku exactly what his eldest son would have to do. But didn't have the confirmation until the last minute, when he would slash his throat. He would turn to his younger son. That's why he taught Sasuke how to perform that technique. And one night, or at least that's how I remembered, Itachi killed everyone. End of the Uchiha; R.I.P Sasuke's sanity.

Now, how much of this actually already happened? I liked to think that Itachi's best friend was alive and, with Itachi, happily trying to avoid a war between the village and the clan, maybe sipping some tea under a sakura tree, yeah? Yeah. I liked to imagine that. But how could I make sure that this was the case? Walking straight to the main house of the compound and demand to talk with Uchiha Itachi didn't seem like a favorable plan. I cursed again my lack of social life among the clan. Would it have hurt to be close and open to the members? At least to insure my survival in an unavoidable massacre? Nooooo. Stupid, I am soo stupid. I have all this knowledge and I'm doing nothing with it.

I looked around the trees drenched in shadows and sun. I had a lot of thinking and panicking to do.

Ҩ

When I finally calmed down and sorted things out in my head, it was dark. Nekobaa must have left hours ago. It wouldn't be the first time she left knowing that I was somewhere in the village, wandering about. The first time, she panicked and when I got home she gave me a long lecture. Then I explained as simple as I could that I liked walking around the village. It was the only way I could relax. Well, that and reading. But seeing as reading would often give me headaches… I also compromised to pointing out places where I was going on walks so she would know where to find me, should something happen or if she wanted to check up on me. Better give her a sense of control.

I should head back. I had no idea how late it was but the moon was high on the sky and the stars were clear as a mirror. I've frown at the moon. It was round and full, white in the darkness encircling her. Something about it sent chills down my spine, spreading through my body like a cold sweat. What was this feeling? Halves of memories creeping up my mind.

I stood up from the tall grass of the meadow I found and watched my long shadow tainting the deep green. Night changed every color and shape to its liking, playing with my mind. A great painter said once that the night was more alive and more richly colored than the day. He was right, only that all seemed an illusion. Was I now more aware of my senses then during the day?

Walking back was tedious. My feet were heavily burdened with exhaustion. For the first time in a very long time, I knew I would sleep soundly. If only I could get faster to my bed. But I wasn't hurrying up. There was a numbness and need of slowness in my limbs that made me calculate my every move. To put it in a nutshell, I was tired. Dead tired.

Something is seriously off. The compound was silent. Was it that late? I should have returned earlier, I had a body of a child, I couldn't just stay up at night like this, I had to attend the Academy in the morning. Shit, I forgot to feed the cats. If the Cat Granny left this afternoon no one fed them for the night and the six furry monsters would kill me in my sleep if I didn't. How stupid could I be in one single day?

As I got closer to the streets I got the same peculiar feeling. Night painted the wooden houses around me in sinister colors, contrasting one with the other. In the air was a weird…smell. No, not smell. Stench. What is this? It lingered heavily in the air. It didn't occur to me what it was, until houses later, I realized that the wall of one of the houses wasn't blotted in paint but in blood.

I stopped dead in my tracks. What? I shook my head, trying to wipe away what I though I just saw. That didn't wash the blood away from the wall. Maybe it's murder. No shit, Sherlock. Maybe someone attacked whoever lives here. Only whoever lives here. Because that was a totally normal thing to wish for. I looked around trying to calm my mind and find some kind of explanation. None of the houses were clean off blood. Another one had its stairs drenched, the wood thirstily absorbing the red liquid. So much blood… from where the fuck? Did someone just kill people and splattered blood all around just for dramatic purposes? Because it was a killer plan. Where are the bodies? And about then I realized that I was trying to piece together the scene of a mass-murder. No way. There's no fucking way.

No. Nope. No. No. NO. This isn't happening, this is definitely not happening, no, thisisnothappening, thiscannotbehappening nonononononononononono. I swallowed hard and took a couple of breaths. In and out, in and out.

I haven't seen any body yet. I hanged on that desperately. Perhaps I was dreaming. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as if the organ was trying to get out of my chest through my tracheae. A dream within a dream? I want to the next level. This one is fucked up. Where is Cobb? I tried to shake Inception out of my head. I wasn't dreaming and my body was shaking in the breeze. It wasn't even cold outside. A weird shape got my attention in another house yard. I walked fast with my blood burning in my veins. Adrenaline. How nice. Perhaps I was a psychopath after all.

Isn't that….? I calmly looked down to the immobile form of the lady who had the senbei shop. Her round body was in a weird angle with a red gush coming out of her stomach. Ew. I looked farther to the left to see her husband in almost the same state. They are dead. They were. Not moving. Their bodies stiff already, most likely.

I stoodup stupidly stating the obvious. But not from long time ago. The blood was still rushing out. They are in a state of stupor, bleeding to death. Illusion? I bet it's still warm. Not that I wanted to actually touch them and check out if I were right. I got up from my knees without realizing I was in that position to start with. So close to the corpses. These are clean cuts. Fast deaths. At least he didn't let them agonize. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening, thisisnothappening.

128. That many times I have stopped that night, stumbling in my own feet and on other dead Uchiha members, all the way telling myself how this was absurd, impossible and definitely not happening. Actually, I didn't tell myself anything at all, but afterwards I would often think about how ironic it was that I started seriously considering the massacre on the day it actually happened. Jinxed it.

My mind just went blank, while pain bloomed in my chest, making it harder and harder to breath. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not now. Or was it? I looked around with a feeling that the whole compound was spinning with me. The smell of blood was all over me. I bet I was covered from head to toe. Washed in the blood of so many I have checked on, stupidly making sure they were dead and falling like a child learning how to walk. Shock. It's shock. This isn't happening. Surely someone was alive? An adult? Someone that could help? I am so helpless. I can't do anything. I wanted to scream.

The moon was all over the place. As was blood. In the black spots, the light seemed silver, remote and unyielding. The pale bodies were expose to the clear full moon like an exposition, a spectacle and a lesson. I failed to see it. All I could see were spots of shadows and firmaments of reality. I was drowning in blood, corpses and despair. But everything felt as if I was watching from somewhere far away. This couldn't be me running like a scared rabbit falling in a pool of blood and getting up once more. Where was the calmness from the meadow? And why is there so much blood? Soo much red and black.

Numb. A numb pain governing over despair, spreading in my feet, painting the ground in dark ruby splashes. Earth was drowned and infested with this sticky liquid. The bent limbs of the lifeless bodies around me reminded me oddly of a feast. A feast of the dead. A feast for crows. I felt a scream clinging to my throat. It was hiding right behind my vocal chords. I couldn't let it out. If I did I wouldn't stop.

My mind wasn't there. No. It was somewhere in the heavy bloodied air. How many of these corpses will be full of maggots by tomorrow? Almost all of them. I stopped by a tree to empty my stomach. Stupid morbid thoughts. I was sweating like hell and the sweet metallic smell made me throw up again, again and again until there was nothing more than a green liquid coming out. That is bile. I've never had problems with it. Even now, I make things all about me. Then again, I never went through a mass – murder experience before. That person's femur was eaten. I wonder where the splinters went. I've never seen a bone broken like that, like glass. Wasn't sure it was possible until now.

By the Angel, this is bad. I coughed violently almost making myself vomit again. My insides burned and a sharp pain was pulsing in my stomach and chest. I made myself sick. Yes, indeed, because having dozens of corpses mauled in multiple ways was absolutely no reason to be sick.

~Just another normal day, well night, in the Uchiha compound~. I can't breathe, I can't fucking breathe, thereisnoaircomingandgoinginmylungs.

I've started drowning in sobs and gasping for air while my chest felt heavier than a mill stone. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't think. I've might just well be dead, at least then the pain in my chest would have stopped.

I've started laughing. No reason. I did not recognize my laugh. It was more an agonizing scrape escaping a contracted throat. I must be feverish. The tree I was kneeling before seemed awfully cold. The ground was hard and harsh beneath my legs and as I discovered a second later, beneath my check as well. Oh shit. I wanted so bad to sleep. So bad.

Tragedy, tragedy, tragedy, tragedy, tragedytragedytragedytragedytragedytragedytragedytragedytragedytttrrraaageedy. And trauma. That's for being ignorant and withdrawn, hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhhahaaahaha

A moment later something shifted. I scrambled to my knees. I couldn't get up. Well, this is surprising. There was this sickening smell, sour and sweet at the same time, really close to me. Oh my Vala, tell me I have not fallen in my own vomit. I didn't have time to check out, the shadow that caught my attention proved to have a human shape.

"Hello Itachi."

Coarse sounds ripped from my throat. In a million years I wouldn't have imagined that my voice could sound this calm, but so broken. I wasn't even sure he heard me, since I was still trying to get air into my lungs.

"Kaya."

It felt stupid to be surprised that he knew my name. He would know it. I am the bastard of the Uchiha. And well, they were known to have exceptionally good memory. Speaking of memories, funny to see Itachi now, since last time I've seen him had been three weeks ago when we were in full summer and heat were merciless with any living creature.

That day in which I met both of them without any rush of a crowd or formalities. Itachi was carrying Sasuke on his back. I remember thinking how cute they looked, Sasuke on his brother's back keeping close a small bow and a quiver. That was new to me. Archery wasn't a very ninja thing. Or at least I didn't know. Of course, Sasuke wasn't exactly a shinobi, since he was six years old. To my surprise he was the one who saluted me.

He even explained enthusiastically how he helped Itachi with his mission to kill a wild boar. I remember asking Itachi if Sasuke really could shoot with a bow because boy, at this age? I wouldn't have been able to pull an arrow in the string with the sticks I had as arms. Of course the little brat got offended by my disbelief and challenged me to an archery round. Ha. Which I've accepted. Luckily for me, I actually did archery in a previous life. Heh. He was stealing glances at his older brother seeking approval and recognition. It was weird seeing him so … normal. Like the child he was. Itachi on the other hand… And now a drenched in blood Itachi was fixating me with blood red sharingan eyes. His hair was sticky and hanging. So, genocide didn't come with a clean image, huh.

"Are you going to kill me, Itachi?" I asked. My voice came neutral this time and it almost scared me. Where was the weakness and desperation? He shifted. "Don't come one fucking step closer to me." Ah there it is. The world was spinning with me. "Don't you dare coming closer." Or what? I'm going to throw vomit at him?

"Go to sleep, Kaya."

Good idea. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, then one at the right side of my head. The pain was agonizing. Everything was agonizing. And I was tired, so tired. I wasn't aware of my surroundings anymore. Not really. My mind was wrapped in blood and vomit and stung with desperation and spite. I abandoned myself in darkness as I did six years ago, but no cold comforted me, no icy stings, all was eaten away by suffocating heat and a fire burning me until the last strand of my being turned to ash and cinder.

Three weeks later the whole Village Hidden in the Leaves, if not the entire Land of Fire knew of the Uchiha Massacre, everyone with its own version.

And here's the fourth edit of the fanfic~

Yes, I am going to correct, re-write some parts and edit the entire format of the chapters, up to the last posted (chapter 11). This was fun to write. Can you tell I like gore and spooky stuff? The Massacre of the Uchiha Clan happened. How did Kaya survive? And why? Only Itachi knows. Maybe some catching up is due between the remaining Uchiha in the future.