Rule # 111: When facing the Autobot Wrecker, it is wise to note his intense fear of Scraplets. (By Wredan)

(Yeah, the Wrecker said that I was "more annoying than a scraplet" one time while I was being held by the Autobots again. What the heck that was, at the time I had no clue. Once I was rescued - more like I escaped with help from... ugh Darby - I immediately asked what a Scraplet was.)

(Breakdown shuddered. Knock Out almost glitched. I had to wait until we got back to the warship to find out what they were. I asked Soundwave what the heck a Scraplet was, and he hesitated a moment before bringing up a digital file of what appeared to be an adorable little critter. Which promptly transformed into an evil Pit-spawned demon and attacked a couple of Cybertronians.)

(And tore them to pieces.)

(And ate them.)

(I did not need to see all five minutes of that, Soundwave!)

(Since it was apparent that the Wrecker didn't like Scraplets, I recruited Breakdown in helping me in building a life-size model of one using some scrap metal Knock Out had lying around the medical bay.)

(A short time after, I got to introduce the Autobots to my little friend.)

(Each and every one of them flipped out.)

(Even Prime.)

(No; I'm serious. Prime looked as close to the edge of a freak-out as he could possibly get.)

(But the Wrecker... Oh man, my sides still hurt from laughing at him screaming and hiding behind the two-wheeler.)

Rule # 112: Intentionally having a certain gray Seeker play a game in order to scare him is not reccomended - but it is allowed. (By Wredan)

(You know that maze game online where if you touch the dot to the side walls, a scary face pops up? I maybe, kinda, sorta, oh, I don't know, started playing it and invited Starscream to try when he came to see what I was doing.)

(He touched the wall within five seconds.)

(Then he screamed like a femme when the scary face popped up - even louder and shriller than when I locked him in a room full of mice.)

(Do you really gotta go around earnin' your name all the time, Screamer?)

Rule # 113: Cutting the power to the lights all across the ship so you can find out who's afraid of the dark is not allowed. (By inkdragon13)

(I couldn't help it. A lot of people are afraid of the dark - or what's in the dark. So obviously, the next thing that goes through my mind is: Does the statement apply to Cybertronians as well?)

(I asked Knock Out. In a shaking voice, he replied that he didn't know.)

(So I tricked the twins into helping me cut the power to find out if anyone on board was afraid of the dark. Two seconds later a scream came from the direction of the med-bay. I immediately ran there to see what was wrong.)

(Along the way, I ran into Soundwave. Literally. Did you know he glows? Anyways, Soundwave picked me up with one of his tentacles and brought me up so that I was looking at his visor. Didn't do anything else, just held me up there and stared at me through that mask of his.)

(Slenderman much, Soundwave?)

(Once I got down and arrived in the med-bay, someone had finally turned the lights back on. You'll never guess what I saw in there.)

(Knock Out was in Breakdown's arms, shaking, his optics shut tight.)

(My fabulous, prissy guardian, a Decepticon with no qualms about dismembering an enemy just for the fun of it, is scared of the dark.)

(One word: Wow.)

Rule # 114: Salt water + Knock Out's freshly waxed finish = the worst five days of your life. (By Taboo22)

(I did not do this one, trust me. And I can prove it. Whoever pulled this prank used a ton of water to do it - and I just don't do water.)

(Besides, I figured out quickly that if I mess up the paint job, I will spend however long it takes fixing it. I also have to fix it whenever certain someones - yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Rumble and Frenzy - decide to mess it up for the hell of it.)

(Well, I was catching up on my sleep because Megatron decided that if the Decepticons didn't get to rest for a week, neither did I, and some idiot put salt water in the wash racks while Knock Out was cleaning up.)

(He went in with a minor scratch that I was going to buff out when I woke up; he came out with almost no paint at all.)

(Five days. Five damned days of getting rid of the salt residue, redoing his paint job and his decals, and shining him up like new.)

(So almost no sleep at all for twelve days.)

(Either someone on this warship hates me more than Starscream and Airachnid put together, or someone just really enjoys it when I'm in a bad mood.)

Rule # 115: All Seekers are claustrophobic. (By Taboo22)

(You have no clue how many times I had to say sorry to Dreadwing before he would even speak to me again, let alone for him to stop assigning me patrols with Hardshell and Airachnid.)

(I locked him in a utility closet because I mistook the sound of his footsteps for Hardshell's. For a Seeker, Dreadwing sure walks heavy. And when I realized my mistake, I tried to get him out as fast as I could. But the door was jammed!)

(Knock Out was away on some mission in California, Breakdown was still shaking off his last encounter with MECH, and no one else could get the stupid thing open.)

(It was a full day before Dreadwing got out.)

(His wings were trembling so hard they actually made the floor vibrate. His optics were wider than I thought they could go. He kept muttering about the walls closing in on him. And then it hit me: he's claustrophobic!)

(Knock Out told me when he got back that Seekers can't stand being grounded and are inherently afraid of small spaces that cramp their wings. Then I felt even more guilty for locking Dreadwing in the closet by accident.)

Rule # 116: Buckets of water may not come within a hundred meters of Lord Megatron or me, for that matter. (By Hawky)

(It's not that Megatron is scared of water; he simply doesn't appreciate it being thrown on him at inopportune times. On the other hand, I hate water. I can't stand it. I can't, even though I grew up surrounded by water.)

(A certain pair of small mechs - who shall remain nameless - came up with the bright idea to dump a huge bucket of water on our heads.)

(Before I could tell them no, I was drenched.)

(And screaming.)

(Megatron immdiately declared that there were to be no buckets of water within a hundred meters of him or me - just because he couldn't stand the sound of me screaming my head off.)

Rule # 117: Start a water balloon fight, and you better hope you get locked in the Brig. (By Anonymous BW FG)

(See, I'm... Well, I'm aquaphobic. I know I said I hate water, and it's true, but that's only because it terrifies me. I never set foot in even a bathtub unless someone threw me in, I'm so scared of it. So guess what the twins decided to do? They procure a bunch of water balloons, fill them up, and throw them at me.)

(Of course they didn't know that I was afraid of water at the time. They just decided it was the next step in our prank war. I suppose maybe they thought I was going to steal some and toss them back. But they weren't expecting my reaction.)

(You know how some people act when they're up too high or are in the dark? They freak out and go for the nearest safe place they can find, right? No, not me. I have a fragging panic attack when I get wet.)

(After the second water balloon hit me, my heart leapt into my throat and I felt like I was going to faint. Frenzy noticed and demanded why I was acting like a baby.)

(He hit me with another balloon. And another. And another.)

(I finally lost it and ran to my room, soaked to the bone, crying uncontrollably, shivering because I was freezing and because I was wet. I forgot to lock my door. Rumble and Frenzy followed me; as soon as they saw me curled up in a corner sobbing, they apologized. They really were sorry and hadn't mean to make me cry. They were just trying to have fun.)

(Now they'll beat up anyone who gets me wet or threatens to do so.)

(The twins may be glitches when it comes to pranks, but even they know how to be nice when the situation calls for it.)

Rule # 118: Pool Parties are only fun if you like water. (By Anonymous BW FG)

(It's official: I despise Airachnid.)

(It was my birthday and I wanted to spend the day with Knock Out since he promised me we'd go do something special once he finished his duties. But just as I was walking to the med-bay to see if he was done, I ended up webbed to the wall from behind. Airachnid came up to me and told me, "Knock Out has to wait; I've got a surprise for you.")

(The way she said 'surprise' sent a chill down my spine.)

(There's a section of the Rec Room that can have the floor drop away to emulate a battle in a canyon or a gorge.)

(It was filled to the brim with water.)

(Cold water.)

(Between my shouted objections and Airachnid's sarcastic reassurance that water couldn't hurt me, we made everyone in the Rec Room turn and stare at us. With a good forty 'cons watching, the spider-legged freak tossed me into the water and held me under.)

(That glitch of a femme tried to drown me.)

(Luckily someone went to get Breakdown and Knock Out before things ended badly, but I still caught pneumonia and was sick for over a month.)

(Airachnid got her aft handed to her by an especially peeved Knock Out while Breakdown rescued me, and the medic refused to fix her until I was up and about. Lord Megatron didn't object - he likes his doctors sane, thank you very much.)

Rule # 119: Airachnid is, ironically, arachniphobic. (By Guest/Havbot)*

(Following the disaterous 'Pool Party' - as certain 'cons came to call the incident - I was not in the mood to be assigned to patrols with Airachnid.)

(Yeah, Dreadwing was still mad about the whole closet incident.)

(Whenever it was just me and her, she'd spend the entire time planning new ways to kill me. Once she came up with one, she'd tell it to me. I'd shoot down every plan from the start, saying that Knock Out would kill her before that happened.)

(One day we were scouting a dense forest for energon deposits and Airachnid came up with the plan of simply leaving me there when it came time to go back to the ship. I countered that Knock Out would notice and bridge to the coordinates to find me. She said she wouldn't leave me anywhere close to the Bridge site; she wasn't that stupid. I found a rather large spider, picked it up, and showed it to her, fully intending to squash it and then tell her that Knock Out would do the same thing to her should she follow through with that plan.)

(Before I could say that, Airachnid drew back, looking both disgusted and afraid.)

(My reaction: "Seriously, the spider-legged freak is afraid of spiders?)

(She shot me a withering glare.)

(She probably would have webbed me to a tree and left me there had I not decided to bring the spider along for the rest of the patrol.)

Rule # 120: Knock Out is afraid of birds - pigeons, specifically. (By Guest)

(Haven't you heard? Red cars and birds have a nasty relationship.)

(Someone showed Knock Out the statistics, which imply that cars with red paint jobs tend to be - you know what I'm getting at.)

(Now he is terrified of birds, and will deliberately aviod them whenever he possibly can. If he can't, then he heads straight for the wash racks once he gets back to the Nemesis.)

(Thank Primus. That is one mess I do not want to clean up.)

*Both Guest and Havbot suggested arachniphobia, one in general and the other specifically suggested that Airachnid was afraid of spiders. Since both were so similar, I decided to combine them.

Next (Few, Probably) Chapter(s): General Rules.