Rule # 121: Talking about Fanfiction while on the warship if it contains slash will result in at least a few hours in the Brig. (By inkdragon13)

(I was surfing the internet and happened upon a site called . There was a link to an archive of Transformer stories. Apparently there are people aside from me, Darby, Darby's mom, Rafael, the Exchange Student, and the government who know about the Decepticons and Autobots.)

(They would properly be classified as Fangirls/Fanboys.)

(Out of curiosity, I clicked on one of the stories, and within two chapters fell off the console, laughing so hard my chest hurt. But then one of the Vehicons asked why I was laughing and why I was on the floor.)

(I explained the concept of slash to him and then paraphrased the story I'd read with the words: "Megzy and Prime." He didn't make the connection. I tried to be clearer, but he still didn't get it. Then I just flat out said it.)

(Just as Lord Megatron walked in.)

(When he heard what we were discussing, he glitched. Took Knock Out a day or two to get him back online.)

(Megatron immediately grabbed me and demanded to know where I came up with that. I stammered through explaining that I found it online - I didn't come up with it!)

(He didn't believe me.)

(There's now a cell in the Brig with my name on it.)

(Literally.)

Rule # 122: Discussing human anatomy within audio-range of Knock Out is a horrible idea. (By inkdragon13)

(Frenzy wanted to fool around and it was that time of the month. I snapped at him to get his little punk aft back to Soundwave before I kicked it there.)

(He was thouroughly insulted.)

(And Soundwave apparently decided to send him the desired information about the reasoning for my attitude via their mental link.)

(Which sparked a discussion that I was not in the mood for.)

(I'm not going into any more detail. Just know that Knock Out, being the doctor - albeit an insane one - he is, got too curious for his own good and I ended up having to scratch his finish to get him to stop.)

Rule # 123: Telling scary stories is only wise if you are immune to fear. (By inkdragon13)

(Which basically means - Don't do this unless you're Lord Megatron.)

(Remember when I told you about the horror movie marathon?)

(Take that reaction, spread it across the entire ship, have the lights mysteriously go out - no, I had nothing to do with that - and make Megatron laugh evilly when KO screams.)

(That was all before we even started telling scary stories.)

(I started out with a few of the stories I was told as a girl in Hawaii, with minimal reaction. I knew they wouldn't find any of them scary anyway - those were tribal tales, and besides, I was just trying to get them warmed up.)

(The only problem was, they told absolutely true stories. None of what they said could be counted as false or embellished. They didn't understand the concept of 'story' in the context.)

(Breakdown talked about the underground Gladitorial Fights in Slaughter City and Kaon. Knock Out chipped in - while still hanging onto Breakdown as tight as he possibly could - with details of Shockwaves failed experiments let loose in the Badlands and Sea of Rust that destroyed everything they touched. Starscream added the destruction of Six Lasers Over Cybertron - which was, oddly enough, equivalent to an amusement park. Airachnid described in gory detail some of her 'hunts' on foreign planets. Rumble and Frenzy clamored on about the fall of Omega Supreme at Megatron's servos. Dreadwing reluctantly recounted some of the more destructive battles he'd been in against the Wreckers.)

(But Megatron... I had nightmares for weeks when he talked about being Darkened and utterly leveling everyone and everything in his path, fighting with injuries that by all logic should have killed him and still stomping the Autobots literally into the ground.)

(I'm doing you a huge favor by being as vague as I am. You wouldn't sleep for days if I went any deeper into detail.)

Rule # 124: Do not compare Starscream to Fran Drescher. (By Taboo22)

(This is just so ironic I can barely fathom it, even now. Fran Drescher loves Stilettos, her voice is irritating, and she suspiciously shows tendencies towards bragging, whining, and begging.)

(Swap the gender and species to mech and Cybertronian, and guess who you've got?)

(Screamer; exactly! But he doesn't like being compared to a human. He will hurt you if you dare to do this.)

(So if you decide to ignore my warning and compare him to Fran Drescher anyway, I will see you in the medical bay.)

(And I will be laughing my head off when Knock Out asks exactly what you did.)

Rule # 125: Please, for the sake of all things kawaii, leave the kitten where you found it. (By inkdragon13)

(Revv took me to restock on food and I found this kitten outside the store on my way out. It was so cute, with huge blue eyes and fluffy black fur, I just had to take it back with me. Revv was going to object, but once he saw how adorable it was, he couldn't say no.)

(Once we bridged back on board the Nemesis, I took the kitten to my room so no one would see it and get mad. I took care of it and played with it while trying not to get caught. Unfortunately, nothing ever stays a secret for long when you live with Decepticons.)

(A week passed before Rumble walked in on me feeding the kitten. I thought he was going to make me get rid of it. No, he asked if he could play with it. When Frenzy found out a day later, he never stopped fussing over how adorable it was.)

(Pretty soon, everyone knew about the kitten. And Megatron was not happy I brought it aboard without his permission.)

(He had Starscream drag me - holding the kitten, which I had named Polû, meaning blue - to the Bridge. Then Megzy demanded that I get rid of the "disgusting feline mammal" at once.")

(I replied smoothly, "Just look at him; he's adorable! Surely not even the great Lord of the Decepticons could say no to Polû." Megzy took one look at the kitten and melted. No, he couldn't say no to such an adorable little creature. It took Soundwave to finally snap and snatch Polû from me and order Ravage to take him back to the surface.)

(How could you be so cruel, Soundwave?!)

Rule # 126: Dreadwing is not a moth. (By inkdragon13)

(Something about Dreadwing's frame always bothered me. I didn't know what it was but it always bothered me. And then it just hit me one day - Dreadwing looks like a moth!)

(I'm sure you know the next thing I thought of after that.)

(How did I get away with it? Oh believe me, I didn't. Dreadwing spent hours chasing me around the ship. He wasn't shouting, like Starscream. Or trying to shoot me, like Airachnid. Or sending someone else after me, like Soundwave. He just chased me. I must have ran a couple miles that day.)

(It's amazing how much faster one runs when their life is at stake.)

(When I couldn't run anymore, I collapsed in the middle of the hallway, prepared to end up in the med-bay. I ignored the fact the Vehicons started staring at me.)

(But surprisingly, Dreadwing never caught me. I went looking for him after I got my breath back.)

(I found him webbed to the ceiling outside Airachnid's quarters, the spider-femme curiously looking him over with a gleam in her optics.)

(That's what he gets for me painting him to look like a moth, I suppose.)

Rule # 127: Lord Megatron loves 'Hunt You Down'; Starscream does not. (By inkdragon13)

(Yes, I enjoy torturing Starscream. Who doesn't, really?)

(Starscream had been sent on a scouting mission, which he completely and utterly botched. Somehow he managed to blow up the energon deposit and alert the Autobots, who had been miles away from his location before the explosion.)

(So as you can guess, Lord Megatron was not happy. He was about to beat the scrap out of the gray seeker when I decided that maybe, just maybe that much verbal abuse was enough Scremer abuse for one day. I put on 'Hunt You Down', both to appeal to Megatron's sadism without him hurting Starscream and at the same time satisfy my daily need to either irritate the gray seeker until he wants to kill me or do something to scare him senseless.)

(Starscream chose the scared senseless option.)

(Megzy, however, had an evil shark-toothed grin. He looked at me with what I took as approval and then told Soundwave to brodcast the song over the intercom - from the beginning.)

(Poor Starscream. Megatron made him stay on board for the whole song, five times.)

Rule # 128: Yes, high heels are for women. No, Starscream does not need to be told that. (By T.D)

(Starscream viewed this as another 'femme' jibe. He quickly took me on a joyflight to Tokyo and transformed in midair, letting me fall a few hundred feet before catching me.)

(Then he decided that it was a fun game and did it again, over and over, all across Tokyo. And then in London. And in New York.)

(We were gone a full seventy-two hours, during which Starscream would ask me after he caught me every time, "Do my heel struts still make me a femme?")

(Even though I wanted nothing more than solid ground under my feet again, I was not going to let him win that easily. So I said no.)

(Until he got annoyed and left me on a rooftop in New York. Finally I gave in and told him that his heels didn't make him a femme. There may or may not have been a few more colorful words added in here or there.)

Rule # 129: While Unicron technically gave life to our planet - and to humans - it does not make us any more resilient than we actually are. (By Taboo22)

(Breakdown had a little mental... er, well, breakdown when it was discovered that the 'Anti-Creator' of his world gave life to mine. He wouldn't stop looking at me like I was going to kill him until Knock Out assured him that my body bore no traces of Dark Energon.)

(Airachnid decided that if the same being involved in the creation of Cybertronians was involved in the creation of humans, then we might be much more resilient, stronger, faster, etc. than most Decepticons thought.)

(She tested this theory by attacking me while I wasn't expecting it.)

(I'm not all that strong; I'm only a fast runner because I'm constantly running for my life; and I can only take so much punishment.)

(Airachnid found that her theory wasn't quite as sound as she thought, and ended up with a few new battle scars from when Knock Out was informed of what she did.)

Rule # 130: While Soundwave does have a visor that can display digital files, you may not use him as a TV. (By Undiscovered Poet)

(Soundwave will sic Ravage on you if you so much as hint that you want to use him as a TV.)

(If you say it, you better watch out for both birdies and kitties coming after you.)

(If you're so stupid as to try it, Laserbeak will chase after you with his blasters activated while Ravage is on your heels and the twins wait at the next corner with a rope and a bag.)

Next Chapter: General Rules

Quick question that actually has nothing to do with next chapter - Any specific characters ('bots, 'cons, maybe humans?) you want me to give a Valentines card/letter to for you? I'll make sure they know who sent it.