Chapter 4

Callie was reading her own chart when she heard a knock at the door. She looked up to see Cristina.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"If I said no would it stop you?"

Cristina smiled and continued to walk into the room. She turned around and looked at the door. "Huh, I guess not."

Callie looked back at her chart as Cristina spoke. "I saw Robbins this morning." Callie never looked at her.

"She was making rounds early." Callie still said nothing. Christina grabbed the chart.

"This isn't her fault! This isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault, but his."

"Give me the chart back, Yang."

"You look at me." Callie huffed and looked at Cristina . "I get that you are upset, but you are acting like an ass, Torres."

"I need that chart. Addison will be here tomorrow and I need to know what is going on."

"Mark said you wouldn't talk to him either."

"I don't want people looking at me with pity. I didn't lose a limb, I can't have children. I am not someone that will break or needs someone to hold my hand."

"We know that. She knows that, but we care about you. We want to help you."

"I need Addy to help me. If she can't, well, no one can."

"You can't shut Robbins out, Callie."

"Don't you tell me what I can or can not do."

"OOOOhhhhhh. You think because you can talk to roller skate girl or your girlfriend Sloan that way, you are going to talk to me like that? I am freaking Cristina Yang. You don't scare me and I am pretty sure I don't have a heart that functions right, so no pity here. No, you don't get to talk to me that way."

Cristina put Callie's chart on the table across the room. She then went and closed the door to Callie's room and closed the blinds as she came by them too. "Now, you and I are gonna get this out. You scream or cuss or talk or whatever it is you need to do."

Callie said nothing.

Cristina left the room and walked down the hallway. She returned with a wheelchair. "Get in!"

"I can't….."

"Get it, Torres!"

Cristina helped Callie into the chair. "Now just shut up until we get there."

Cristina took Callie down the halls. They got onto the elevator and Cristina pushed the button to the second floor. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

The elevator doors opened and Cristina pushed the wheelchair down the hall. She stopped in front of a large door. She then pulled the chair into the room. In the center of the room was a large table. It reminded Callie a lot of Seattle Grace. Callie now knew where she was. She was in the Ortho department.

"Now I know how when people get mad they like to come and break things in Ortho, so here we are."

Cristina pulled a mold down and handed Callie the hammer that was on the shelf. "Now, knock the hell out of it. You hit it until you feel better."

"Christina, this isn't going to work."

"Hit the damn mold, Torres!"

Callie pulled the chair over to the table. The first time she hit the mold it barely moved.

The second and third time was a little harder. Before she knew it Callie was busting the mold everywhere. She and Cristina knew she shouldn't be doing this much, but it was this or go crazy. Finally Callie started to cry.

"Let it out Callie. This will eat you up inside. I get it. I am dealing with the loss of

Meredith's baby and the loss of your chance. I want to help you; both of you. There is only so much I can do." Cristina pulled the wheel chair around and looked at Callie in the face. "Callie, you need them. Robbins would move mountains for you. She doesn't deserve this. This isn't a happy time for her like you seemed to have convinced yourself it is. She loves you. She is hurting for you and for her. You are sitting here acting like she pulled the trigger. Don't do this to her. Don't you shut her out."

"I….I just don't know what to do with this anger. I can't stop it….I can't make it go away."

"It's only been a few days since all this happened. Give yourself time to deal with this. I heard they were releasing you tomorrow."

"Yeah. To go home and have everyone wait on me and bring me doughnuts."

"Through the damn things in the trash. She is trying to deal with this and you too. Give her a break. She has been through a lot the past week. You've been through a lot."

Cristina took the hammer from Callie. "Come on I need to get you back. Robbins would

kill me if she saw you right now."

Callie had tried to let Arizona in. After she woke her parents had come to Seattle to see her. Arizona finally got to met Callie's Mother and sister. They were as impressed as

Callie's Father with Arizona. They may not have agreed with Callie, but they saw that Arizona was good for Callie. They were very happy with the person Callie and Arizona were together. They were admired and loved by everyone that knew them. They could see why Callie loved Arizona. They were starting to themselves.

Arizona's parents had called everyday to check on Callie. They knew that she must really love Callie to have given a baby a second thought. They knew Arizona had found the one. The one Arizona had hoped for. The one they had hoped for her. They had never met Callie, but knew that she was very special. They just didn't know how to help them now.

Callie was changing from the awful gown that she had been in for days. She thought to herself that the gowns just made her feel worse. She was packing her things when there was a knock at the door. By the time she had turned around, Arizona was just behind her.

"Hey." Arizona said with her perky voice.

"Hey." Callie said with a flat tone that had become all to familiar to Arizona.

Arizona just let it go as Callie turned back and began to pack. "So a little birdie told me Addison is in the building."

"Right. Well I guess she will be up in minute."

"Callie, she will tell us and then we will know. No matter what, we will know."

Callie sat on the bed and faced Arizona. "I get that you are watching me go through this

and you are hurt for me, but you don't have to act like you want this to work out."

"Okay. That's just harsh. Even for you. You think this is easy on me? I am the reason you are here!" A weeks worth of emotion had now found it's way to Arizona's eyes. She

could not hold back the river of tears that were now forcing their way down her face.

"You are here because you came back for me. I knew that you loved me, but I didn't know how much until that day. I lost you because I didn't want kids and then you almost died for me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? The guilt that I walk around with, Callie?" Callie was stunned by Arizona's rage. "Do you? Answer me."

"It's not your fault."

"Well yeah. Yeah it is. You came back for me. You almost died for me. Now you may not be able to have children because of me. You asked what you had to do to prove you loved me once. I just feel like it's me that has something to prove."

Callie took Arizona's hands and pulled her toward her. "I don't blame you. You need to know that. I blame him. I am angry, Arizona. So much that it is eating me up inside. I wanted this so bad."

"I don't know how to help you. I feel helpless. I have felt this way for a week and I can't find any relief. I just want you to be okay. We can adopt if you would like. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy with you. Just you. I just need time to be mad at the universe. That is who I am mad at not you. Remember that."

Callie kissed Arizona. It was a tender kiss at first. A kiss that said I love you, I am okay, we are okay. The kiss then turned into passion that had built over the past month. The two had forgotten where they even were until someone came through the door.

"Ummmm…ummmm…..I am so sorry. I will wait in the hall. God I should've knocked."

Callie and Arizona laughed. Arizona even blushed a little. "Hey, Addy." Callie laughed.

"Hey, how are you? You look well."

"So what now?" Callie said turning her tone more serious.

"Well there is good news and bad."

"Bad. Start with the bad."

"Callie there just isn't any way that you will be able to carry children. The damage was

too severe."

"So how can there be good news." Arizona questioned.

"They left everything they could just for the simple fact that this is hard for a woman to go through. Here is the deal. There may be some eggs that we can save."

"How will we know?"

"Well we need to wait until your next cycle. You come and see me then and we will do the tests. If they come back normal then we have some eggs to work with. Then maybe you find a surrogate."

"So we wait?"

"We need to see what effect this is going to have on you. Carrying a child may be out, but having one be biologically yours may be possible."

"So we wait." Callie said letting out a deep breath.

"You call the office when we need to get you an appointment." Addison hugged them both and said her goodbyes.

"Callie, I have to check on a baby in the NICU. I will be back in 15 minutes and I will take you home."

"You don't have to leave. I know you are busy and they just reopened Seattle Grace."

"I am taking you home. Don't argue. I will be right back." Arizona kissed Callie once more before walking away.

"Yes Doctor."

"I will be right back."

Arizona left the room. When she cleared the door she walked very quickly down the hall. Luckily Addison was still at the nurse's station charting on Callie.

"Addison, can I talk to you?"

"Um, sure Arizona. Is something wrong?" Addison and Arizona stepped away from the nurse's station.

"No…no. Callie is fine. I was wondering. Well I was just wondering….."

"It's a simple test."

"What would I have to do?"

Addison pulled out a card with her office number on it. "Call the office and make an appointment. I will try and get you in while we are taking care of Callie. I mean that is what this is about, right? You don't want her to know?"

"No. I would rather not." Arizona looked at the number. "I don't want her to know. I don't want to get her hopes up. I wanna wait until she is home. And some of this is behind us. "

"Then she won't. Make the appointments and I will do the rest."

"Thanks, Addison."

"Anytime." Addison closed Callie chart and handed it to the nurse. "So I guess I will see you two in a couple of weeks."

"Yeah."

Addison patted Arizona's shoulder and walked around her. Arizona hadn't told anyone why she was thinking this way. Her first goal was get Callie better then…then she would worry about their future. Arizona made her way back to Callie's room after she left she had been gone long enough.

Callie was sitting on the bed with her bag at her feet. "Alright, you ready to get out of her."

"You don't even know how bad."

The ride home was quiet. They would talk about the hospital opening and therapy sessions that Arizona had scheduled. When they arrived at the apartment, Arizona helped Callie up the stairs. Once they entered the apartment Callie explained that she was okay.

"There really is no reason for you to stay."

"Yes there is. I need to talk to you."

"Okay. I am listening." Callie said sitting on the couch.

Arizona set on the table in front of her. "Remember when we were here last. Me sitting where you are and you where I was?"

"Not one of our better moments."

"I disagree. I think that day played a part in a lot that I have learned over the past month."

"Like what?"

"Like we can give. Both of us gave on what we wanted to stay together."

"Well it doesn't matter now anyway."

"But it does to me. You asked if I needed proof. I should have never needed proof. I knew that you loved me. I also knew that I couldn't live without you. That day in the elevator, I almost died. When you said my name. That was it. I knew that I couldn't stand not being with you. Having you to hold or kiss every night and every morning. Hearing your snoring against my head as we slept."

"Sorry about that." Callie laughed. "Or waking up to all those blonde curls in my face."

"I love you, Callie. I can handle anything as long as you are we are together. As long as I have you I can handle anything. A baby makes me so scared that it paralyzes me. I see them at there worst. I never get to see the healthy ones. The happy ones. I only see the bad. I couldn't imagine seeing you in the pain I see parents in. It would kill me to see you like that. To see our baby like that."

"It doesn't look like that is going to be an issue"

"No matter what I want to be with you. If that means a baby or not. A sick child or not.

Mark crawling in our bed at night or not. I just want to be with you."

"I know. I can't image a day without you again."

"So over the next few months we have time to plan out what we are going to do."

"What are we planning?"

"Well you have some time off, obviously. Addison wants to see you in a couple months too. So I was thinking that would give us some time."

"Time for what?"

"Well you have never even met my parents. That is a must. It will give us a little extra

time to….I don't know…..maybe plan a wedding and enjoy a honeymoon. I mean Fiji is still open."

Callie didn't realize for a second that her mouth was open.

"Is that a yes or no, Calliope? I just asked you to marry me and you are sitting there with your mouth open."

"Yes." Callie finally said with a deep breath that turned into a giggle. "Yes I will marry you."

Arizona never imagined that table could hold them both.

As always, thank you for reading.