Rule # 141: Don't spike anyone's energon. It won't end well. (By tankbuster626)

(Some explanation is needed before I actually tell what happened.)

(Ten months after I came on the Nemesis, Rumble and I Bridged to Chicago early in the morning before anyone was awake to get some stuff. Something happened, and we got stuck there, and Rumble ended up stuck in his holoform with his body back on the warship. Three days into our little misadventure, Rumble spiked my coke. I don't know how he got it. And I'm not sure I want to. But here's the kicker - I have no tolerence for alcohol, so I passed out very quickly. Unfortunately, I passed out on top of Rumble, who decided just to let me sleep on him all night. When we got back, somehow word got out and no one would fragging let it go.)

(So I spiked Rumble's energon ration. Just to get him to understand how it feels. I didn't know at the time that someone - namely Frenzy - had spiked my drink, as he was trying to play 'matchmaker' for me and Rumble.)

(Well, it turns out that Rumble has no tolerence for high-grade.)

(We both passed out in twenty minutes. Leaning on each other. In the middle of the rec-room. With numerous Vehicons watching.)

(The next day, the crew was talking about what happened and looking at me and Rumble. Dreadwing was even careful to assign us to the same patrols and make sure our schedules crossed as often as possible.)

(I don't like Rumble! I don't! There's no reason to pretend I do.)

(Stop looking at me like that! I don't like Rumble!)

Rule # 142: In conjunction to the above item, don't spike the energon rations in general. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(It was a bad week for the Decepticons. First Prime got a sword that looked like a lightsaber, then the Autobots got one of those stupid Omega Keys, etc., etc. So we were all in an off mood.)

(I tried to lighten the mood by switching the energon rations for high-grade.)

(And yes, I made sure not to give Rumble any.)

(There was a party later on that everyone attended, even Lord Megatron and Dreadwing. Rumble and I watched amusedly while everyone stumbled around, trying to maintain some dignity while still overcharged on high-grade.)

(And yet again we managed to fall asleep next to each other.)

(The next day I spent in the Brig. Lord Megatron had not been happy with me.)

Rule # 143: Don't let anyone try the green energon. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(I never did this, but I was warned several times not to give it to anyone by Knock Out. The stuff is called Synthetic Energon, and it causes Cybertronians to become irritable and disrespectful of authority but also enhances their speed and strength.)

(In a sense, not counting it's good properties, it makes one act like Starscream.)

(We've already got one of him; we don't need any more.)

Rule # 144: Just because footage of over-charged 'cons makes for good blackmail doesn't mean you should use it. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(You already know what happens when you switch the energon rations for high-grade. I just may have forgotten to mention that Rumble recorded the whole thing before he drifted into recharge.)

(Particularly amusing was Starscream and Shiv - ahem - interacting. It also made for some awesome blackmail.)

(But Starscream didn't let us use it. Instead, he reminded us why it was a bad idea to record everything we saw.)

(Knock Out was tempted to leave us the way he found us afterwards.)

Rule # 145: The miners aren't allowed to have high-grade right before their shift. (By Taboo22)

(Does this really require an explanation? Give the miners high-grade right before they go into the mines, and something will explode. It's not a question of if; rather, of when and how many casualties there will be.)

(The miners work with machinery bigger than they are, for Primus sake! They need to be as focused as they possibly can be while they're working. Not to mention unrefined energon is highly explosive and will detonate at even the slightest spark. Or that they're constantly being pushed by Lord Megatron, Starscream, and/or the Autobots - to a certain extent - to work faster and get the energon to the warship without incident.)

(It's a stressful job, people. They don't need to be overcharged and exhausted.)

Rule # 146: Don't play musicals while anyone's drinking high-grade. (By Randall Boggs)

(They will attempt to act them out.)

(The song 'Singing in the Rain,' for example. And the movie Hairspray. And Mama Mia, for some odd reason.)

(Sometimes I can't believe I live with these guys. They're crazier than I am.)

Rule # 147: While hilarious in the end, letting the crew play Energon Pong will no longer be fun after a while. (By Pixelus Prime)

(It's fun until a commanding officer walks up and demands to know why you're not doing your job. Then it just gets boring.)

(Lord Megatron, unsurprisingly, is excellent at holding his high-grade. He was still going strong once all the other players had fallen. Literally. Starscream then came up and, once it was explained what was going on, challenged Megatron.)

(Turns out he can hold his high-grade well, too.)

(It was fun to watch them go at it for a while. It got boring after the fourth round.)

(On the seventeenth round, we ran out of high-grade. And there still wasn't a winner.)

(For five minutes, they were okay.)

(Then they crashed and woke up the next morning in the medical bay with hangovers worthy of Unicron himself.)

Rule # 148: Yes, Seekers can hold their high-grade well. No, they should not fly right after drinking it. (By PixelusPrime)

(Following the hangovers worthy of Unicron himself, it took a while for our high-grade stores to be replenished. When they were, the lock was made impossible for anyone but high-ranking officers - Breakdown, Knock Out, Airachnid, Soundwave, Starscream, Dreadwing, and Lord Megatron - to get into.)

(One day Starscream and Dreadwing had a contest to see how long it would take for either of them to crash after drinking concentrated high-grade.)

(I guess they were having another of those 'contests' that were really Starscream's attempts at getting Lord Megatron to realize he's the better First Lieutenant.)

(Well, neither of them crashed, so Screamer went out for a flight to calm down.)

(There were reports all over the news about a jet with no pilot crash-landing in Brazil for a couple of days before we finally managed to get Starscream back.)

Rule # 149: The fallout from mixing fuel for cars and jets sounds cool, but Knock Out will not be amused. (By PixelusPrime)

(I was trying to explain what a bar was, and eventually resorted to playing bartender with the 'cons. For some strange reason, their favorite drink was gasoline mixed with jet fuel and energon.)

(Unlike high-grade, the mix merely made them tipsy. But then it froze the grounders' engines and made the flyers go wacko. Trust me, crazy Vehicons are not Vehicons you want to be around in any situation.)

(When Knock Out saw one of the wacko flyers, he immediately assumed I had something to do with it and shut down my makeshift 'bar.')

(Why is it that whenever something goes wrong, everyone assumes I did it?)

(Since I did indeed cause the incident, Knock Out made me help him fix the affected Vehicons. But other than correcting me when I did something wrong, he didn't speak to me at all.)

(He didn't speak to me for a week.)

(And he ignored me when I tried to talk to him.)

(And snapped at Breakdown when he asked what was wrong.)

(Having Knock Out refuse to speak to me was a worse punishment than being tortured by Starscream and Airachnid or being stuck in the Brig with the twins.)

Rule # 150: Decepticons in hula skirts: seriously not funny. (By KithiaIsTheVillan)

(Yes, I am a Native Hawaiian. Yes, I'm proud of where I come from. Yes, I enjoy the traditions. But no, overcharged Decepticons wearing hula skirts and attempting - and failing miserably at - to dance the hula is not funny.)

(It's just not.)

(I always hated being forced to dance, and I said I was never going to dance again, but come on, a two-year-old could have done better than them. My cousin, who has never danced in his life, could have done better than them.)

(And to make it even more humiliating, someone asked me to show them 'how it's done.')

(Really, guys? Really? Remember what happened with the flash mob? And Thriller? Is that really a good idea?)

(How did it turn out? Oh, that's an easy one. Breakdown knocked them all out so I would quit bugging him to get them to stop bugging me.)

Next Chapter: General Rules