Rule # 161: Posting fanart across the Nemesis while no one is around may seem like a good idea, but it's really not. (By PaDiYaFLAME)

(Correction: Bombshell was around when I did this, but he's not the brightest Vehicon, so it doesn't really count.)

(Well, the fanart I posted across the warship consoles was quite compromising for several of the higher-ups.)

(Particularly Megatron and Starscream.)

(Ahem. When everyone got back, it only took ten minutes for them to notice what I'd done. And man were they angry.)

(Side note: the Brig has officially been dubbed, 'Shiloh's Second Home' by Frenzy. Apparently I spend too much time in there.)

Rule # 162: Always stock up on food and other supplies at the beginning of the month. (By LlamaLover121)

(The 'cons refuse to go more than once a month for supplies. Well, all the 'cons except for Rumble and Frenzy, but they only like to go for pranking supplies.)

(Something that also might help with the whole who to take on shopping trips...)

(Knock Out insists on buying me new clothes, even when we're getting food. Breakdown spends all his time in the tools section, and doesn't like helping me carry the bags. Starscream took me once because KO threatened to take a blowtorch to his wing if he didn't. He sulked the entire time and drew a lot of attention to himself because of his high-heels.)

(Yes, even in holoform, Screamer wears stilettos.)

(Anyway, the one time I went with Soundwave wasn't so bad, but he's still creepy because even in holoform, he hides his face. The Vehicons are good companions for shopping trips so long as they don't see any vehicles that look like Autobots.)

(But never - I mean never - go to a grocery store or clothing store with the twins.)

(I'm banned from several malls and shopping centers because of them.)

Rule # 163: The Iron Man trilogy and Avengers movie are discouraged, but not banned. (By DragonRiderWarrior)

(We both know it's Tony STARK, but the Decepticons automatically assume it's Tony SPARK.)

(And then they wonder why a human has a spark in a capsule inside his chest.)

(I tried seven times over to explain it was an ARC Reactor he needed to keep himself alive.)

(When they wouldn't listen to me, I decided not to let then watch Iron Man or the Avengers again.)

(Actually, the last straw was when I saw Knock Out drawing up designs for putting a Cybertronian spark in a human body.)

(I'm starting to think my guardian might be just a bit crazy.)

Rule # 164: Facebook - a good idea for humans; for giant alien robots, not so much. (By PixelusPrime)

(What? The last time I was captured by the Autobots, I noticed Darby and Rafael setting up Facebook accounts for all the Autobots. Even Prime and the medic.)

(So after Knock Out traded a relic - relax, it was actually a fake - in exchange for me and we returned to the warship, I got Rumble to help me set up accounts for the commanding officers, him, and Frenzy. Somehow he managed to convince me to get an account, too.)

(The first posts of all the officers were pretty funny.)

Lord Megatron's: Bow to me, fleshlings! I will rule this planet or destroy it trying!

Starscream's: Don't listen to him. I will rule this planet.

Dreadwing's: Over my sparkless chassis.

Airachnid's: That can be arranged.

Knock Out's: Just had my finish waxed. And I must say, I'm lookin' fine!

Breakdown's: Of course you are, Doc.

Soundwave's: Knock Out and Breakdown: Have successfully changed the subject.

(Well, the Autobots soon found out who the 'cons were on the site and immediately started to harass them.)

(... You know, in hindsight, maybe their usernames were dead giveaways.)

(No, I don't really want to tell what their usernames were. Just know they were totally obvious.)

(As I was saying, the Autobots - mostly the rookie and the scout - started harassing the 'cons. It escalated to the point where the war extended to the games on Facebook and everyone, I mean everyone, was involved.)

(Didn't take long after that for Megatron to order all the Decepticons' accounts deactivated, "effective immedately.")

Rule # 165: In conjunction to Item 164, Twitter is also an extermely bad idea. (By PixelusPrime)

(This one was mostly me and Rumble's fault. We made accounts on Twitter for everyone after Facebook didn't work out. Wisely, the commanding officers declined to use theirs.)

(Me and Rumble... weren't so smart.)

(Yeah, the first post from Rumble?)

Woke up in the rec-room handcuffed to Shiloh. Frenzy's a dead mech, 'cause this is not what I wanted to do today. Also, FML.

(And my reply?)

Y'know, being cuffed to you ain't no picnic either. YDI.

(This discussion went on for several hours until that Exchange Student logged on to her account and got to the Tweet where I said I was never speaking to Rumble again.)

Primus, just kiss and make up already!

(Yeah, I'm gonna strangle her next time I get caught by the Autobots.)

Rule # 166: Pandora is not to be used on Soundwave. (By Undiscovered Poet)

(I was bored. Again. And Soundwave was in the immediate vicinity.)

(... Let's just say Soundwave is very creative when it comes to punishments.)

Rule # 167: No car fresheners. It will ultimately backfire. (By tankbuster626)

(Those things make the grounder Vehicons the Cybertronian equivalent of high. And crazy. And, in Revv's case, extremely annoying.)

(I was coming out of a store one day when I saw a bunch of car fresheners on sale. I had to buy them for the grounders.)

(Obviously.)

(So I bought as many of them as I had the extra money for.)

(Which was quite a lot of them, actually.)

(But I soon regretted it. Revv talked my head off all the way back, and wouldn't stop talking about how nice the 'Little Green Tree' smelled really nice.)

(I was this close to asking Knock Out to deactivate his vocorder.)

(This close.)

Rule # 168: While Airachnid is indeed afraid of arachnids, it is not wise to put multiple spiders in her quarters. (By tankbuster626)

(She will retaliate by going at you through your phobia. Water is mine, if you recall.)

(She rigged the sprinkler system in my room to go off while I sleeping.)

(The screaming and crying that followed was apparently loud enough to wake up the twins and KO.)

(Rumble comforted me and calmed me down while Frenzy and Knock Out went to get Airachnid back after waking Breakdown to help.)

(I cannot describe in words how much I loved those four right then.)

(What? You want to know where I got the spiders?)

(That's for me to know and you to wonder about, my friend. Just hope you don't annoy me any time soon.)

Rule # 169: Don't switch Breakdown's hammer for a rubber one if you value your life. (By tankbuster626)

(Lousiest game of chase ever.)

(Breakdown's not a fast runner, but he's still faster than me.)

(Knock Out almost refused to set my broken arm. Almost.)

Rule # 170: Soundwave doesn't talk; leave him alone about it. (By Guest)

(Lousy day, nothing to do, wondering about Soundwave's face but smart enough to leave it alone.)

(Not smart enough to leave our resident ninja's secrets well enough alone.)

(It took Knock Out three days to figure out where in the Nemesis Ravage was holding me hostage.)

(And then a good twelve hours to get me back.)

(Soundwave and his deployers are afts. Well, Rumble's okay, I guess.)

Next Chapter: General Rules