Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, and this work is not intended for profit of any kind.

AN: This pre-series fic begins right where "In The Beginning" ends, but does make sense as a stand-alone story. I very much hope you enjoy this depiction of a few more Matt and Kitty "firsts," beginning just after the establishment of the longest "non-permanent relationship" in history.

After the Beginning

"I laid awake all last night, tryin' to imagine what Dodge would be like without Matt….what I'd be without him. And I just couldn't. I couldn't imagine."

—Kitty Russell, "The Hostage"

First Night

A very tall, very happy US Marshal and his beautiful, redheaded, blue-eyed girl walked slowly back from the outskirts of Dodge towards the Long Branch saloon, arms around each other's waists, enjoying the quiet, moonlit night. A chorus of katydids sang out in the distance, and a cool breeze swirled around the two, rustling the girl's satin skirts and threatening to knock the lawman's Stetson from atop his lofty head. Walking out there, Matt Dillon and Kitty Russell had both feared that it might have been the end, but now they each realized, with pure relief and utter joy, it had only been the beginning.

Nothing had changed and yet everything had. At the edge of town, the two had talked for the first time of their love for one another and had come to an understanding regarding their relationship.

Earlier that evening, Matt had felt his whole world collapsing when, at their little table by the stairs in the Long Branch, Kitty had broken the news that she was planning on leaving Dodge, possibly for good. It was then that she'd looked into his eyes and said the words that had haunted him for the next several hours….

...unless anyone here were to have any objections….

Matt had certainly objected, except he didn't have that right. How could he tell her how much he loved her, how much he wanted—needed—her to stay, when he had absolutely nothing to offer her?

After hours of agonizing deliberation out on the prairie, Matt had decided that he was no good for Kitty, that he needed to let her go. He'd returned to the Long Branch then walked her out to the edge of town where he had laid it all out for her, put everything on the line—the sacrifices the badge demanded, the never-ending danger, the fact that her dreams might never come to be if she were his.

As Matt and Kitty now walked back through town, Matt recalled what he had told her at the start of their conversation, his voice replete with misery, his despair threatening to overwhelm him….

This badge means that I don't have a right to any kind of a permanent relationship. It means I never know what day—or night—might be my last. It means anyone belongin' to me is always gonna be in danger….as long as I wear this badge—no marriage, no family, no home for us.

He tightened his grip on Kitty's slim waist as he thought about her response….

Matt Dillon….do you love me?

He loved her. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone or anything. Matt Dillon knew Kitty Russell was the one he would love all the rest of his life, no matter how long or short that might be.

Matt hadn't known if he should admit that to her, seeing as he had nothing but his love to offer her, but he couldn't lie to Kitty. If he had been caught off guard by her first question, then Matt had been completely unprepared for the unbelievable thing that had happened next. His beautiful Kitty had told him that she loved him, that she wanted him anyway, regardless of what life with him would need to be. Her soft, smoky voice echoed in his mind….

Being with you, loving you, is more important to me than those things.

I will never, ever stop loving you….

Walking back to the Long Branch with Kitty, Matt Dillon stood tall and proud. He had Kitty Russell by his side and his heart felt lighter than at any point he could remember.

Kitty was also remembering their conversation as they walked, barely able to believe what had transpired over the last hour. Matt had been so tortured as they'd first reached the edge of town. He'd told her how any relationship with him would need to be, how being with him would put her in perpetual danger, how he had nothing to offer her….

Kitty— if anything were to happen to you because 'a me….

I'm no good for you, Kitty.

Kitty had then asked Matt the only thing that mattered to her….did he love her? Truth be told, she'd known the answer, but she had needed to hear it, just once. Her heart soared as she recalled his words, the first time his voice had spoken them, the most beautiful words she'd ever heard….

I love you, Kitty. I love you.

Kitty held tightly to Matt Dillon and leaned into his huge body, enjoying the sensations his nearness evoked.

About halfway back to the saloon, thunder began rumbling threatenly in the distance and the swirling breeze turned into wind. The pair held even tighter to one another and quickened their pace. When the Long Branch was just barely within sight, lightning cracked throughout the sky and a cold, hard rain began to pour down upon the two.

Matt and Kitty ran laughing, hand in hand, the rest of the way to the Long Branch. A certain lawman purposefully ran a bit slower, to allow his girl to keep up with his long, long legs. Let the rain soak them, he thought. Kitty Russell loved him. Nothing else mattered tonight.

The rain poured down in sheets off the roofs of Front Street's buildings as they neared the Long Branch doors. The main barroom was now darkened and locked for the night. Kitty removed her key from the inside of her dress and gave it to Matt, who quickly opened the outer saloon doors. Entering first into the inky darkness, Kitty reached out and grabbed an unsuspecting Matt's hand, pulling him inside and backing her very willing, very large captive up against the small wall next to the batwing doors.

Kitty's heart raced as she smiled impishly up at Matt and placed her small palms against his broad, hard chest. Matt grinned and reached down, his huge palm grasping the small of her back. As lightning flashed, he caught a glimpse of the beautiful face looking up at him. The smile slowly left his face and was replaced by a steady gaze. He decisively pulled Kitty against him with one hand and used the other to gently wipe the dripping rain from around her eyes. As Matt leaned down, Kitty eagerly met his wanting, seeking lips. His tongue begged for entrance to her mouth, already needing to taste her again. Kitty parted her lips between his, welcoming him in. Standing just inside the Long Branch they kissed, with the cold, cleansing rain pouring down outside the open doors.

Matt's huge heart beat like a drum against his chest as his tongue swirled around Kitty's. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked up and down her back, pulling her even tighter against him, certain she could feel the effect she was already having on him. He'd waited so long to be with her in this way, had thought so many times that it might never come to be. Especially tonight.

Kitty smiled between kisses. "So then I really have brought you around to my way of thinkin," she said wickedly.

Matt threw back his head and laughed silently, glad for the darkness that cloaked his reddening face and ears. "Kitty, let's go upstairs and get warm," he whispered. He smiled broadly down at her, the lines around his eyes crinkling as he leaned his forehead down to rest upon hers.

Matt relocked the saloon and the two removed their muddy boots, then crept quietly through the dark up the wooden stairs, hand in hand, not wanting to wake any of the girls asleep in their rooms.

When they had entered Kitty's bedroom, Matt quietly shut and locked the door as Kitty made her way over to the nightstand by her bed to light a lamp. She retrieved a large white towel from her bureau then returned to stand in front of Matt, staring up at him, her big, blue eyes shining brightly in the softly-lit room. Her red hair hung, half out of its pins in dripping, ropey strands, and her drenched white-satin and black-lace dress clung to her enticing curves.

Matt reached down and stroked her doll-like face with the tips of two long fingers, forever in awe of Kitty Russell. He still couldn't believe this magnificent creature had chosen him, Matt Dillon, a lanky, broke, beat-up lawman to be her man. His heart filled with gratitude, he grasped her upper arms and leaned down, placing his lips upon hers in the gentlest of kisses. Matt started to deepen the kiss, but reluctantly pulled back when Kitty let out a little shiver. "We'd better get you dried off, honey," he said tenderly, briskly rubbing her arms.

Honey. Kitty's stomach gave a little flutter with Matt's endearment. It was the second time he had called her that this evening, and the way he'd said it had made her feel….so cared for, so cherished. It had been so very long since Kitty had had someone to take care of her. She'd always known Matt was a tender, caring man, but as she once again experienced his ministrations, Kitty was nearly overwhelmed by her desire for him. She wanted him...she wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anyone or anything in her life. After all the months of longing, she could hardly believe they were finally about to be together. Kitty swallowed hard and looked expectantly up at Matt, her eyes conveying her full trust. She wordlessly offered her towel to him.

Matt looked down into Kitty's shining, trusting eyes, envisioning being with her for the first time. He had of course known that he'd been waiting five long months for this moment, but as Matt looked at her now, he realized he'd actually been waiting his entire life.

A gentle tremor settled over the brave lawman's incredibly strong hands as he anticipated finally seeing, finally feeling, Kitty Russell's breathtaking body for the first time. The mere thought of it resulted in desire more intense than any he'd ever felt in his life. His arousal shot throughout him anew, before it settled in its destination as a deep, delicious ache. Matt took the proffered towel from Kitty's hands and gently dried her face and neck before blotting her dripping hair.

As he tenderly dried her with her soft white towel, Kitty Russell stared up in wonder at the incredible man that was Matt Dillon. She gazed at him, his dark curls dripping wet, his blue eyes darkening with desire, his clothes soaked and clinging to his hard body. She could feel the heat emanating from his strong hands where they grazed her cool skin, eliciting goosebumps that had nothing to do with the cold.

"We'd better get these wet clothes off 'a you," Matt said, his voice just above a whisper. The air fairly crackled around them. Matt was now staring down into her eyes with that unwavering, yearning gaze that she had so often seen downstairs. It made her ache for him.

Never breaking eye contact, Kitty stilled Matt's hands. She reached back and began unbuttoning her dress. When she'd reached all the tiny buttons she was able, she turned around and looked over her shoulder at him with those big, blue doe-eyes that had first stolen his heart. Matt's fingers felt about one hundred times too big as he slowly unbuttoned her the rest of the way. She turned back around and gazed again into his steel-blue eyes, letting go of the fabric as it slowly slid to the floor.

Matt swallowed as she stood before him in her corset and pantaloons, the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in all his life. After a moment he managed to shake himself from his trance and help her to step out of the rest of her sopping clothes. He wrapped the towel around her and gently dried her smooth skin, his hands still trembling. Kitty again stilled his large hands when he had finished drying her, and gently moved the towel away from her body, at last standing bare before him. She released her long hair from its remaining pins, then looked up at him, her dazzling blue eyes gazing evenly into his, her slightly tightening jaw the only tell of her nervousness. As Matt took in his very first look of the freckle-dusted, creamy expanses of Kitty Russell's alabaster skin and voluptuous curves, his mouth turned dry and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"Kitty….you're the most beautiful—Kitty, you're sure?" he whispered hoarsely, reverently touching her flushed, silky cheek. He'd of course heard what she'd told him out at the edge of town, but he wanted to give her one last chance to back out. One last chance to change her mind. He wouldn't blame her if she did. Not one bit. Matt searched the sapphire eyes that never failed to make his heart swell in his chest, as he desperately tried to bridle his ever-growing need for her.

Kitty tilted her head up at Matt, her lush black lashes half-blanketing her shining blue eyes, a gentle smile lighting up her face. She looked so beautiful, so perfect, so young, and her steady gaze pierced his very soul. "Matt….you're just about the only thing I've ever been sure of, in all my life."

Matt saw in her eyes, heard in her voice that she spoke the truth. He cupped her face and kissed her, a brief yet scorching kiss. Matt then gently led Kitty to the bed.

"You wait right here, honey. I'll be with ya in just a minute," Matt said, afraid the whole thing would be over before it even started if he let Kitty dry him.

Kitty sat and watched appreciatively as he shed his gunbelt and wet clothes. He then dried himself with the same oversized towel he had used to dry Kitty, watching her, watching him, all the while.

Matt stood before Kitty, suddenly a bit self-conscious as her heated gaze demonstrably took in the unobstructed view of him for the first time. His scar-ridden body wasn't exactly the unmarred male specimen it had been when he'd first taken this job several years before. Kitty didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to read his thoughts, as she so often did, and smiled invitingly, reaching out to him.

"Come 'ere, Cowboy," she said in that smooth, low, whiskey voice that made Matt's toes curl and forget any prior insecurity. Kitty Russell never made Matt Dillon feel anything less than all man.

Matt's little-boy smile lit up his face as he eagerly crawled onto the bed with a playful little growl and hovered over Kitty. She enveloped him in her embrace, wrapping her lithe arms around him and kissing his neck, luxuriating in the rapturous sensation of being skin to skin with Matt for the very first time. His face now serious, Matt stared deeply into her sparkling eyes before he gently wiped a curl from her face and leaned down to languidly kiss her.

Her heart pounding, Kitty kissed Matt Dillon with everything she had. She blindly reached out, tenderly fingering his familiar scars, one at a time. Kitty had done this once before, unbeknownst to Matt, that first vigil beside him.

Matt nuzzled his face into the delicate curve of Kitty's soft neck, inhaling her heady scent. He was intoxicated by the feel of her soft, smooth body against his. Matt had dreamed of this moment so many times, but his dreams paled in comparison to the sublime reality it was proving to be. His lips and hands suddenly needed to be everywhere at once as he earnestly began his mission to acquaint himself with every delicious inch of Kitty Russell's body.

Kitty's glazed-over eyes opened and raked over the giant of a man in her arms, marveling that he wanted her so. As she gazed down between them at the irrefutable evidence of his desire, the sight, the feel of his arousal, stole the very breath from her lungs. She'd wanted this from that very first moment she'd seen him. Matt was the best-looking, gentlest, most decent man Kitty had ever known. The fact that Matt Dillon would love her, a saloon girl with the most checkered of pasts, would have otherwise been difficult for Kitty to believe. But like she had told Matt tonight, she was certain of him.

Matt braced himself over Kitty, staring into her hooded eyes, almost overcome by the desire, by the emotions within him. His heart was racing and every nerve in his body was taut, practically thrumming with anticipation, but he stilled her hands, suddenly feeling an even greater need to first make her understand all that she was to him. "Kitty, you're everything….I just, I need you to know how much…." Matt lowered his head, flustered, not even sure how to begin to tell her all that was in his heart.

Kitty bit her bottom lip and her perfectly smooth brow wrinkled in concern at Matt's frustration. She reached up with one well-manicured index finger to raise his chin, then lightly placed her fingers onto his lips. She gently smiled at him and shook her head. The love and acceptance shining in her eyes took Matt's breath away. "It's alright, Matt. I already know."

Kitty put her hand around his neck, pulled him down to her and replaced her fingers with her eager lips….

MKMKMKMKMKMK

Matt Dillon and Kitty Russell first came together with the force of a hurricane crashing down upon the coast, when miles and miles of stormy, unchecked sea finally meets its match in the steady, waiting shore. And like the land and the sea, both gave and took, leaving an ineffaceable footprint on each other's soul. Matt Dillon later remembered having known for certain that night, that Kitty Russell was the best thing that would ever happen to him.

Later, Matt moved so tenderly, so deliberately, as he made love to Kitty for the second time. He tirelessly evoked sensations and emotions in her that she could never have imagined. Funny really, for a girl who'd lived the life that she had. In her young life, Kitty Russell certainly hadn't lacked experience with men; it was just this particular experience—this particular man—she realized that first night, that her life had always lacked.

Very late in the night, Kitty lay awake, contentedly stretched out atop a peacefully sleeping US Marshal. She stared up at his beloved, handsome face, so vulnerable and innocent in sleep. A few stray, dark curls had flopped down over his forehead. His closed eyes revealed beautiful, long, black lashes, and a soft, peaceful smile rested upon his face.

Matt had no idea how beautiful he was. He'd shyly ducked his head with hesitancy in his eyes as he'd first stood naked before her. In that moment, Kitty had realized that Matt's many scars represented imperfections to him. There was certainly nothing else about his impressive body that he could possibly be self-conscious about, she thought with a wry smile. As for his many scars, although they made her heart ache for the pain they embodied, they only made Matt that much more attractive in Kitty's eyes. They represented his bravery, his sacrifice, his honor.

Kitty wanted to memorize the sight of him, the smell of him, the feel of him—wanted to imprint it all on her heart where it could never be erased. She ran the tips of her fingers gently through the dark hair on his chest, over his well-muscled torso, and once again over the scars that were so much a part of this man whom she loved. As she always did when faced with reminders of the badge's relentless toll, Kitty felt an overwhelming urge to protect Matt Dillon. She wanted to hold him, to keep him safe here in her arms, forever. She knew that was impossible, so she instead vowed to protect him the best she could, to be there for him, in whatever ways he needed her. Always.

Kitty let her mind replay all that had taken place over the last several hours—the talk, the declarations, the understanding, the coming together. There had been something else remarkable besides the hunger in their lovemaking that night. Kitty realized, with great joy, that the something else was deep, unadulterated love. With a smile on her face, Kitty Russell snuggled further into Matt Dillon's massive chest and settled into a deep, contented sleep.

MKMKMKMKMKMK

The first promise of dawn streaked orange within the sky. Matt had just woken for the first time with a sleeping Kitty Russell in his arms. It had felt every bit as incredible he'd imagined it would, and he continued to hold his beautiful girl tightly against him. Matt had awoken with a huge smile on his face, and he didn't think he could have wiped it off to save his life. Not that he wanted to. Matt felt the gentle, warm puffs of her breath on his bare chest where Kitty's head lay, as his long fingers lightly stroked up and down her glossy red hair and her smooth back with the most tender of caresses. A storm had raged outside all night but inside Matt Dillon had slept in perfect peace.

Matt thought about the momentous shift his life had taken over the past night. Over the past five months, if he were honest with himself. From that very first moment he'd seen her in Delmonico's, standing over her spilled coffee, to this moment, lying in his arms. The bond he shared with Kitty had been incomprehensible to Matt before he'd met her and their first night together had been….well, indescribable. It wasn't just the fact that his first night with Kitty had brought him the most exquisite pleasure of his life. It went beyond that. Their emotional connection had been more powerful than anything Matt had ever hoped to experience.

Matt once again tried to think of how to explain to Kitty how her coming into his life had affected him, how being with her for the first time last night had made him feel. But, as so often happened when it came to expressing himself in words, he came up short.

Matt Dillon had never been a man long on words. The thing was, Kitty Russell didn't seem to need his words to understand him—never had—not from that very first night they'd talked in the Long Branch. Thinking about it now, Kitty never seemed to need or ask much of anything from him. Her only question to him before she'd made her decision to be with him had been if he loved her.

Matt again marveled at everything this incredible woman had chosen to sacrifice so that they could be together. He'd been willing to sacrifice his own happiness for her….to let her go so that she might be safe, to let her go so that she might find someone who could offer her all that she deserved….but to have her turn it around and instead sacrifice for him….

Kitty hadn't even hesitated, when he'd told her how things would have to be. She'd just listened to him. Accepted him. Loved him.

Matt Dillon had known his share of women and relationships in his past, but as he looked down at the redheaded beauty in his arms, he realized that Kitty had been the only one to banish the loneliness that had always resided in his heart. The loneliness that he had come to accept would be part of his life for the rest of his days.

Overcome with gratitude for the love, for the joy she'd brought to his life, Matt Dillon pondered how to best protect her. Cherish her. Love her. His heart bursting with emotions he knew he could never describe with words, Matt held Kitty even closer against his chest and pressed his lips to the top of her sleeping head….

tbc