Rule # 241: It is impossible to flatter Dreadwing. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(I've tried. Over and over and over again. And gotten nowhere. Over and over and over again. And ended up getting stuck on the most boring patrols. Over and over and over again.)

(Don't look at me like that! A little praise goes a long way, you know? I wasn't trying to get on his good side or anything; I just thought that like KO, no one told him how well he did his job enough.)

(Heh. I guess I should have learned my lesson the first or second time. But you know me: I never quite know when to leave well enough alone.)

(I'm still convinced that he feels under-appreciated, and nothing he says or does is going to change my mind.)

Rule # 242: Dreadwing doesn't appreciate showing off. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(As noted five rules ago, Dreadwing is neither Knock Out nor Starscream. Photos are not acceptable. Neither is showing off.)

(Starscream was boasting about being the fastest Seeker one day, and Dreadwing was sick of it.)

(He challenged Starscream to a race over America. The first one from New York to Los Angeles won, and the loser had to publicly admit defeat in front of both the Decepticons and Autobots.)

(Frost and I were judges. We waited in LA for the winner. Frost bet on Starscream. I bet on Dreadwing.)

(I walked away from that with seventeen new cans of expensive paint.)

Rule # 243: Contrary to what FanFiction says, he is not a crybaby. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(Even suggesting that he is will earn you a severe grilling.)

(Dreadwing did not cry when Skyquake went offline. He did not do anything of the sort whatsoever.)

(And he may be Lord Megatron's lapdog, but he doesn't act like a kicked puppy when he gets reprimanded.)

(Next to nothing that exists in this plane of existance will make him cry or make him upset. He is perhaps the most stoic being I have ever met in my entire life, next to my uncle and Lord Megatron.)

(Hopefully I can change that. I want to see him show emotion and stop being a giant metal Spock, dammit!)

Rule # 244: Unlike every other Decepticon, Dreadwing is honorable. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(If he makes a promise or agrees to something, he will always follow through on it, no matter what happens or who it's to.)

(The best - and sadly, only - example I can think of at the moment is our agreement. No pranks on him, and I have a place to hide if I need it.)

(But I've heard about when he first came to Earth, and he attatched a bomb to the Wrecker's chassis. The loner and Prime managed to force him to agree to disarm the bomb. When they let him up, he disarmed the bomb, no questions asked.)

Rule # 245: Following the previous item, keep your opinions on the matter to yourself, and don't question it. (By WingedWolfAlari)

(It's not cute, regardless of what you think. An honorable Decepticon is about as rare as a homicidal Autobot.)

(And besides, who else can you count on not to immediately back out on their promise the instant something goes wrong? The 'cons are the greatest, but they have a nasty tendency to wave goodbye when they made a promise and it looks like it's not going to work out in their favor.

Rule # 246: Just because he will do everything Lord Megatron tells him to without question doesn't mean you should take advantage of this fact. (By JJ24)

(Trust me, it's fun to see exactly how much you can get away with, but once you're discovered, things quickly take a turn for the worse.)

(Rumble and Frenzy have been in the Brig for many a week because they didn't learn this lessor quite fast enough.)

Rule # 247: By order of Lord Megatron, Dreadwing is not to be introduced to Soap Operas. (By JJ24)

(If this rule is broken, consider Rule # 243 null and void.)

(He will break down in tears.)

(And he will break bones if you tell anyone.)

Rule # 248: Don't touch his gun. (By Tankbuster626)

(It's big, it's heavy, and it packs enough punch to put a hole through even the most heavily armored mech's chassis. But it's also extremely sensitive. The 'trigger' is metaphorically 'pulled' by a heat-sensor built into the blaster where the trigger would be on a human gun. Since Cybertronians' inner systems generate heat as they function, Dreadwing placing his servo on the sensor causes it to fire.)

(I learned the hard way that even something as seemingly trivial as me punching the sensor in a fit of anger can set it off.)

(Shockwave nearly lost his optic.)

(Oh, I ran for my life, but ultimitely, I regret nothing.)

Rule # 249: Don't stuff his explosives full of confetti. (By Tankbuster626)

(Before you ask, I had a perfectly good reason for doing this.)

(I went through the Nemesis' history records and found out the date that the Decepticon faction was officially founded. And after pleading with Soundwave for a good hour or two, I got him to translate the date as best he could into Earth terms.)

(And to my absolute delight, it was that same week! What better thing to do than set up a party to celebrate?)

(Um... in hindsight, that might not have been the best idea...)

(My point is, I did get approval for the party, and to turn Dreadwing's bombs into confetti cannons.)

(Oh, come on, don't look so surprised! Unlike with Frenzy, not every idea I have is necessarily a bad one. The crew needed a morale boost, and this was the perfect way to do it, so I got Dreadwing's help to replace most of the explosives inside his bombs with confetti. But come the party, someone set off the confetti bombs early.)

(... Right when we were passing Lord Megatron as we carried them to the rec-room.)

(It took seventeen hours to clean up all the confetti, not including the thirty-five it took to get it out of Lord Megatron's gears.)

Rule # 250: It is not recommended to interrupt him while he is lecturing.

(The results are magnitudes worse than interrupting Starscream's monologue.)

(Starscream will only give you a death glare and maybe a good knock in the head with one of his digits if he's particularly angry. Dreadwing, however, will pick you up and put you somewhere you can't get down by yourself and restart his lecture. If you interrupt again, he will simply start over yet again. This process continues until he either becomes frustrated and walks away, or until he finishes his lecture.)

(The problem is, Dreadwing doesn't get frustrated easily, and he is perfectly capable of doing this for hours on end.)

AN: There was a mistake last chapter. The kitten's name was Uli, not Polû. Both mean blue, so I guess I must have gotten confused. It's fixed, though. Thanks to Valkyrie Ritter for catching that!

BlueStar: My other story, Puppet Master, explains everything. And I'm a Decepticon. Also, why did you have to bring up the Series Finale? Even though it was epic, I cried. As for my favorite 'bot and 'con, that would be Ratchet and Knock Out.

The most popular names for Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus are... *insert unnecessary drum-roll* the loner and Shoulder Pads.

Next Chapter: General Rules