They left. Sarah squinted in the sunlight outside the cave, although her eyes had barely had time to adapt to the darkness.
Whitefang walked with a limp, leaning heavily on a stick. It occurred to Sarah that he'd come to free her from the cave quickly after the battle, after getting no sleep. "Thank you," she said to both werewolves. "For coming to get me so early."
Whitefang grunted and didn't look at her. Sarah thought that he wasn't going to dignify her thanks with a response, but then he did. "No one deserves to be trapped like that," he finally said. "Not even a human."
"Wow," said Sarah. "Thanks for thinking of me."
Whitefang glanced at Sarah briefly before addressing Remus. "Lord Greyback offered to get me a human female, like yours. Wants more magical cubs in the pack."
"Congratulations," said Remus. "You certainly deserve—"
"I told him no," said Whitefang.
Remus stumbled and almost fell. "You said no to—"
"Yeah." They walked in silence for a while. Whitefang eventually spoke again. "Angelique's been coming home from your classes with some interesting ideas."
"How did Lord Greyback react to your refusal?" asked Remus.
"OK," said Whitefang. "I explained I didn't want the hassle of trying to keep a human alive. Seems like a lot of work, and I'm already busy. He said he understood."
"Good," said Remus, sighing in relief.
They walked in silence. Whitefang was slow on his crutch.
"So you're Angelique's dad?" said Sarah. "You must be so proud of her. She does very well in class."
Whitefang's gaze slid past her before landing on Remus. "Some of the werewolves at the Institute were like that," he remarked. "Sucking up to the humans." He stared ahead, his expression better suited to a view of horror than to the pleasant woods before them. "Better a clean death than that. Even a human deserves a clean death."
Sarah decided not to say anything ever again.
Remus glared at Whitefang, who cowered under his gaze. "Your opinion is noted," he said coldly.
They walked the rest of the way in silence.
"So," said Sarah once she and Remus were alone in the tent. "How was it, staying in camp with the kids?"
"It went as well as could be expected. We… I'm sorry, it's difficult to translate wolf experiences into human words. The new cubs seem to integrate well into the pack. We hunted rodents. Practiced group hunting tactics, I suppose you could call it, but it was really more of a game."
"That sounds fun."
"It was. Well, at the time I would have preferred hunting humans, but from this vantage point rodents were definitely preferable." He smiled at a memory. "The little pups are so cute. I injured some rodents and let them go so the pups would have something easier to hunt. The way they bounced after them was so…" His expression darkened. "Cruel, of course. Tormenting innocent animals like that, letting them go only to catch them again."
"That's just what predators do," soothed Sarah.
"Yes," said Remus darkly. "Anyway. Jason caught a vole I hadn't even injured first. He insisted I eat half of it."
"That's sweet of him."
"I outrank him, so of course he paid me tribute, even if it was just half a vole."
"Still, I'm sure he was very proud of his accomplishment."
"Yes." Remus looked nervous.
"What? I don't mind you eating half a vole. I know you're not a vegetarian."
"There's another thing. I'm sorry, the bench you used to sit on in class isn't usable anymore. I'll replace it."
"Oh. Um. I don't mind. It was just a log. I had no sentimental attachment to it, it was just there."
"Good."
"So. How did the attack on the festival go?"
"Not well, as far as I can tell. They didn't get Trelawney. She may not have even been there. They did get some random muggles, but suffered great losses. Apparently a surprising number of witches and wizards happened to be at the festival at the same time, no doubt attracted by Trelawney's publicity of it in Witch Weekly. The Death Eaters spent the night in the air as much as possible. Werewolves don't discriminate as to which humans we bite. Friend or foe, any human is fair game. Anyway, the Death Eaters weren't really much help to us. I think they couldn't tell muggles from Order members. Not that the Order's disguises were that good, rather the Death Eaters are easily fooled when it comes to muggle things. They just shot their curses at any humans they saw on the ground."
"That sounds…" started Sarah, but she didn't have a good description.
"Horrific?" suggested Remus. "The Death Eaters are probably calling it a win, considering how many muggles died, and how hard the Ministry's having to work to hush it up. So. That's about all there is to report from here. What news from the humans?"
Sarah related what she could remember of the banter at Potter Manor, to Remus's delight.
"So, you got like no sleep last night, right?" she asked.
"None," he agreed. "We're driven to hunt until the moon sets. That's why the camp is so quiet now; everyone's asleep. I was surprised Whitefang wanted to retrieve you so early. He was injured in the battle."
"So sleep, Remus."
"First, do you need anything?"
"I'm fine. I have books. Sleep."
—
They settled back into their routine. Remus taught his classes, with assistance from Sarah.
Katherine glommed onto Sarah, because, she said, she needed someone to braid her hair, and Sarah was the only person here who could do it properly. Sarah was happy to oblige. During classes, Sarah and Katherine often sat together, as far from Remus as they could while technically still attending class, as Katherine quietly complained about the latest offense her adoptive werewolf parents had committed (apparently they had no idea how to even make a simple cup of tea) and Sarah mostly just listened, as she coiled Katherine's beautiful blonde tresses into unnecessarily elaborate styles.
One morning, Sarah tried to figure out how to do a five-strand Dutch braid, paying just enough attention to Katherine's complaints about ferals to make sympathetic noises at the right times.
Remus's teaching of multiplication tables made a relaxing background music. "Useful for restoring your human mind when the wolf tries to take control," he said. "Note how the ones place goes down by one, as the tens place goes up by one. Nine, eighteen, twenty-seven—"
Remus's voice suddenly got interesting. "My lord! You honor us with your visit." Everyone dropped to the ground in submission, some more slowly than others as their classmates nudged them out of their stupors.
Sarah regretfully let go of the complicated handful of hair she'd organized so she could drop too. "Come on," she urged Katherine, who was still sitting defiantly upright as her incomplete braid unraveled itself.
Katherine looked down at her. "I don't bow to ferals."
"Please, Katherine," Sarah whispered, to no avail. She heard leaves crunch as Greyback's clawed, bare feet stood right by Sarah's head.
"You're supposed to submit to me, pup," said Greyback, almost affectionately. "You're new here, so I understand that you have a lot to learn about being a wolf."
"I'm not a wolf!" shouted Katherine.
Greyback laughed. He reached his clawed hand for Katherine's face. Sarah felt a pain in her heart, but Greyback merely stroked Katherine's cheek. "You're really convincing, you know that? But it's time to stop pretending now. Submit like a proper wolf."
"No!"
"Last chance," said Greyback, his smile audible in his voice. "Keep acting like a human, though, and I'll treat you like one."
"I'll never—" Her next sound was a scream, quickly choked off as Greyback grabbed her neck and hoisted her into the air one-handed.
Greyback looked up at her futilely struggling, scratching at the monstrously strong hand around her throat. "You think you can be above me?" Greyback asked, playful teasing in his voice as Katherine's struggles weakened. "Not yet, little pup. I'm still the leader of this pack." He suddenly threw her to the ground and set a clawed foot heavily on her back. "For now, you're still below me. Much more comfortable down there, isn't it? Remember that."
Katherine, face down in the dead leaves, gasped for breath through her sobs.
Greyback looked to Remus. "Lupin. You may rise."
Remus did. "My lord?"
"You've done a great job teaching my pups. If I didn't know better, I'd really believe some of them are human."
"I can't take credit for them all, my lord," said Remus. "The newcomers—"
Greyback waved such modesty aside. "Still, you're a great teacher."
"No he's not!" shouted Katherine, who had unfortunately caught her breath.
Sarah cringed, and tried to telepathically tell Katherine to shut up, but it was no use.
Katherine, damn her, continued. "He's not a real teacher, he's just a feral! This isn't even a proper school! Real school is on summer holiday now and doesn't start until September first!"
Greyback took his foot off Katherine's back and looked down at her, more in confusion than anger. "So you're not learning anything since you think you're supposed to be on summer holiday now?"
Katherine, after a brief pause, said "Yes! Well. And also—-"
Greyback interrupted with his deep laugh. "All right, little pup, I won't expect you to learn anything until September first. After that, though, you'll learn to be a real wolf." He reached his huge hand down to help her up.
Katherine pointedly turned away from him.
"September first," repeated Greyback contemplatively. He looked out at the class, still lying on the ground. "All my pups may rise. Show me how human you can seem."
Remus's students rose, dusted themselves off, straightened their ragged clothes, fixed their hair, all under Greyback's fanged, smiling gaze. Sarah stayed on the ground.
"Oh, well done," said Greyback. The students beamed at this praise. "Well done, pups. And well done, Lupin. I don't mean to interrupt for too long. Carry on with your lesson. Keep up the good work, all of you." He left, a cheerful spring in his step.
"I'm not your pup!" Katherine screamed at his retreating back. "I'm not! I'm not!" She sprang to her feet. Her scream turned to a growl. Her claws extended from her fingertips, and her eyes flashed gold. She lunged after him.
Sarah grabbed Katherine's ankle, all she could reach from her current position, and Katherine toppled, snarling. Katherine reached her clawed hand back to free her ankle, and Sarah felt an excruciating pain in her hand. She screamed and let go of Katherine involuntarily. Katherine, on all fours, galloped after Greyback.
"Stupefy." Katherine went limp. Remus ran to Sarah. "Vulnera Sanentur," he chanted, stroking his wand gently over her hand. "Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur," like a song.
Sarah dared to look at her hand. It didn't look that bad, actually. There were four red claw marks across the back. It hurt more than it looked like it should. Already, the cuts were closing like a time-lapse film.
"This needs dittany," said Remus. He stood, then looked at his nervous students. "Angelique," he called. "You're in charge. Review multiplication tables until I return."
Angelique nodded and went to the front of the class. "Let's review nines," she said, and proceeded to do so.
Remus galloped away on all fours, faster than humanly possible.
Sarah looked at Katherine, lying in what looked like an uncomfortable position, face down on the ground. Sarah's hand wasn't hurting too badly, and the bleeding had mostly stopped, so she carefully moved Katherine into what looked like a more comfortable position. She removed a dead leaf impaled on a fang in her slack mouth.
Remus was back in a moment with a small bottle. He pulled the cork and applied a drop of the contents to each of the four cuts on Sarah's hand. Then he tried some more of his "Vulnera Sanentur" spell. He finally stopped. "This will scar," he said sadly. "There's no way to avoid that. But I did what I could."
"Thanks. It hardly even hurts anymore," she assured him, for he looked more in need of comfort that she did.
Remus turned his sad expression to Katherine. "I'll return her to her guardians," he said, picking up her limp form, cradling her head against his chest.
"I don't want her to get in trouble," said Sarah. "She couldn't help it."
"Angelique, you may dismiss the class after you've finished the multiplication tables. I'll see most of you in Magic class this afternoon, and hope to see all of you in Human Impersonation tomorrow." Remus, carrying Katherine, led Sarah back to his tent, where he left her alone as he carried Katherine away.
After a little while, Sarah got a cold lunch for herself. Then she tried to read, but couldn't concentrate. Remus finally came back in the evening and hurried to prepare dinner, cooking a bunch of wild greens and adding it to a tin of soup.
"Did you find enough for lunch?" he asked.
"Yes, it was fine. So, Katherine—"
"You don't have to worry about Katherine bothering you anymore."
"Oh! But she's no—"
"I didn't even have to tell her to stop bothering you. Once I revived her, she swore that she'd stay away from you from now on. She didn't even need any prompting."
"Oh no! She must be feeling so guilty! And it was clearly just an accident. I'll talk to her."
"No." Remus set a dish of food, spoon, faded fabric serviete, and cup of conjured water at her place at the table. He set the tin at his place and ate his half of the contents with a spoon. "I let her impose on you for too long already. It's time this came to an end."
Sarah blinked at him. "It's no trouble. She needs someone to talk to. And it's kind of fun doing her hair."
"You needn't debase yourself by touching a werewolf. You're in such a terrible situation already—"
"Whoa, whoa, I'm not debasing myself! Sheesh. She's a little girl who likes having her hair braided."
"She's a werewolf, whether she admits it or not. And you don't understand the, the pleasure she's been deriving from your company. The feel of skin on skin… It's wrong."
"You're not saying there's anything sexual—"
"No, of course not, she's only ten. But physical pleasure. She needs touch. She needs affection. We all do; we're social animals. If she weren't getting it from you, she might accept it from her new guardians. They'd help her accept her true nature. They told me she insists on sleeping by herself, not in a pile with other werewolves, as they generally sleep, for warmth and connection. It's not good for her to be alone so much. It leads to nightmares. Although it's common for new additions to the pack to prefer nightmares to the company of werewolves, at least for a while."
They ate in silence for a bit.
Remus finally spoke again. "They all succumb, eventually. Some take longer than others. Our instincts to merge with the pack are too strong for our human minds to resist."
Sarah thought about that. "Not you, though."
Remus scraped his spoon around inside the tin for a little while. "I hope to complete this mission before that becomes an issue."
"Remus—"
"We're talking about Katherine. Your attention to her is slowing her descent into wolfish instincts. You maintain her delusion that she's human. It might seem a kindness, but it isn't. You're only delaying the inevitable."
"Remus—"
"Have you had enough for dinner?"
"Yes, thank you. But what about you?"
"I need to go exercise. I'll be back late. Don't wait up." He tidied up in a moment, and left.
—-
Sarah didn't sleep well, in part because of the occasional stinging in her hand that reminded her of her new scars. She heard Remus come in, shower, then vanish into the silence of his nest of blankets on the floor.
Sarah waited. Eventually, she got out of bed, walked slowly to Remus's nest, stuck her head through the silence spell, and heard his steady breathing. She sat there for a while, unsure if he was synchronizing his breath to hers, or she to his. If it was him, he was doing it automatically, in his sleep.
She lay down beside him, snuggled up to his back, and gently placed her arm over his side. She felt him take a deep breath as she nuzzled into his cartoonishly muscular shoulder. He seemed to still be asleep. Did this count as contact, if he wasn't consciously aware of it?
He was right. There was something very comforting about the feel of another— Well, not another human being, technically, but another person, certainly. The fact that this particular person often resembled an attractive man was immaterial.
She snuggled in close to his warm body and tried to fall back asleep, but she also wanted to enjoy every sensation. Was he warmer than a human? He was warmer than her. She didn't have a lot of experience snuggling.
Suddenly, he shifted. He was facing her, then on top of her, bracing his weight on his muscular arms. He leaned down to gently kiss her lips.
The kiss shot through her like lighting. She kissed him back, burning with the desire she'd tried to deny, but if he felt the same way about her, there was no reason to hold back.
Remus eventually broke the kiss. She could hear his smile in his voice. "Interesting." His calloused hand gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. "That's not the face I'm used to seeing in this sort of dream. It was bad enough when she was just the girl James had called dibs on. Not that this is any better." Remus leaned down for another kiss before Sarah could think of what to say to that, and she was lost in desire.
He broke the kiss and looked down at her again. "And now you're crying," he observed, although she hadn't realized she'd been so obvious about it. He must have detected the change in her breathing. "Just like the real Sarah would if I kissed her. Better than you turning into Greyback I suppose. These dreams always go wrong before I get to the good part." He sat up and looked down at her. "Just once, I'd like to be human in a dream. But no, always a monster, just like when I'm awake, except for that one where I'm four, and I'm human for only the first part of that."
Sarah sat up and tried to grasp his arms, but her hands didn't go very far around. Despite all temptation to go along with his mistake, she resisted. "Remus, this is real. I'm real. I'm sorry I woke you up. I wasn't planning to, well, have my way with you, I just thought about what you said about people needing touch, even when they're asleep, and…"
"I hug the children all the time," he said. "And they're always hugging me. I'm not the one deprived of touch here." He laughed. "Of all the things my subconscious could nag me about, it has to nag me that my captive human is lonely. I knew that already. This isn't a useful dream. I'm certainly no seer. I mustn't complain, of course. I've had much worse dreams than this."
"I'm sorry." She wasn't really sorry if she wasn't letting him go, wasn't going back to her own bed.
"No, I'm sorry. You must be terribly lonely here, with no company but a werewolf, which doesn't really count."
Damn it all. She suddenly lunged at him, straddling his lap, trapping him in a hug. He froze. "Yes it does. I love you, Remus. I know you don't love me. I don't care, I just want to do anything I can to make you happy. Please let me love you."
There was a long pause. Then, "I'll wake up any moment now," he said, but he didn't sound confident.
Sarah laughed. "Call it a dream if you want. Nothing we do in a dream matters. Don't you deserve a good dream occasionally?" She kissed him. He fumbled at her. She couldn't tell if he was trying to pull her close or push her away. Perhaps he couldn't either. She felt his erection straining through his faded grey pajamas and her knickers.
Pushing finally won, and he broke the kiss with a sensation like pulling apart two magnets. "No," he choked.
She leaned back to look at him, but stayed on his lap. She tried an experimental little grind, eliciting a moan from him.
"Stop," he said.
"Sorry," she said, stopping. "But why?"
"This is wrong."
"It feels right. Doesn't this feel right to you?"
"Nnnggg," was his only reply, probably because she did that thing with her hips again. She kissed him again before he managed anything more coherent.
He suddenly pushed her away with more force than before. She landed on the hard floor.
"This isn't a dream," he realized with horror. He pulled a blanket across his lap, blocking her gaze.
She looked up to his eyes. "How do you know?"
"My dreams are never this good."
"So it felt good for you too? I could tell."
He pointed a shaking hand at the bathroom. "Shower," he managed. "Please."
"If you join me," she challenged.
"That wouldn't get you clean," he argued. "I touched you, Sarah. For god's sake, I kissed you. How can you possibly… Please, Sarah. Wash my filth off yourself."
"You showered right before bed," argued Sarah. "You're not dirty."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know what you mean, and you're wrong. You're smart about so many things, but you're wrong about this."
"Sarah, please. You don't know what you're talking about. If you spoke to any witches and wizards—"
"Your friends agree with me!" yelled Sarah. "Well, pretty much. James wished me luck. He's all for us getting together. Lily and Sirius didn't think I had much of a chance, but they weren't opposed. They'd like to see you happy with someone. And James said I'm practically a Gryffindor!"
"Gryffindors are known for charging into danger," said Remus.
"You're not dangerous."
"We're also known for our stupidity. Even our intelligence is in service of our stupidity. Terrible ideas executed flawlessly, that's us."
"We're perfect together! We have so much in common."
"Please go shower, Sarah."
"I'm not dirty. Touching you doesn't make me dirty."
"That's not the only reason I'm asking. The smell of you is distracting. You're not dirty, you're just… you. Please try to smell less like you."
"No."
"This is a small tent, Sarah."
"It's pretty big for a tent."
"This is a small living space."
"Point granted."
"Everyone needs privacy sometimes," said Remus, "particularly young males who have two creatures-worth of hormones to deal with at the best of times, and have just been jumped by a nubile young female."
"You think you've got problems?" complained Sarah. "Try living with a young male with two creatures-worth of sexiness without jumping him."
"Sarah… Aargh!" He charged for the bathroom himself. It was the only private place in the tent, after all.
It had felt so good, before it had all gone wrong. The feel of his hard body on hers, his smile when he thought it was just a dream, his kisses… Remus was hiding in the bathroom, which granted Sarah as much privacy as she got these days, so she touched herself the way she wanted Remus to touch her, while imagining what he was doing with his strong hands at this moment. She soon got some relief, but not satisfaction.
Remus eventually came out of the bathroom. "Was that really necessary?" he asked. Of course he'd heard her. She'd avoided any obvious moans, but he could hear her heart beating after all.
"Was what you just did really necessary?" she replied.
"Point granted," he said. He headed to his nest on the floor. "Is it safe for me to go to bed? I'll put up wards if I have to. Sarah? This pause is too long. You're thinking too hard about this."
"I promise I won't try to jump you again tonight," she said.
He paused, then shook his head. "Why did I even bother asking? Lies and delusions are both untruths." He cast some elaborate spells around his nest, then burrowed into his blankets.
—-
Greyback cheerfully shouting "Lupin!" woke her.
Remus bolted out of bed and opened the door a crack. "My lord! I am honored by your visit. Just a minute, please. I'm not dressed."
"All right," said Greyback.
Remus closed the door, cast "Finite incantatem" at his nest of blankets, gave Sarah a look sending her to the nest, grabbed an armful of clothes, and bolted to change in the bathroom. Sarah hurried to relocate to the floor as Remus had instructed. It smelled subtly like him. She closed her eyes.
She heard Remus open the door. "Welcome. Sorry for the delay."
"Understandable. I wanted to catch you before class." Greyback sniffed around the tent, then gave Remus a fanged leer. "You've been busy. There'll be another pup in the pack in nine months, I'd wager. A talented magical one like you."
"We can hope, my lord," said Remus.
"If it's born human, first full moon after it's born, I could give your baby the gift of the wolf myself, unless you'd rather do it," said Greyback.
"I would be most grateful if you would do that honor, my lord. You have more control of your wolf than I. You would be less likely to bite too deeply, so my child would be more likely to survive."
"What's this nonsense, Lupin? I don't control the wolf. I am the wolf. The trick is to give your wolf complete control of your human guise, let the wolf get used to controlling a human brain. Then the wolf will retain some human memories and abilities even during the full moon. Of course, since I've let my human mind wither, I can't pass as human the rest of the month like you can. Sorry to make you degrade yourself this way, but the pack still needs your stealth."
"I am honored to serve the pack any way I can, my lord."
Greyback eyed the scissors Remus had transfigured. "Take care to hide anything dangerous," he advised.
"Yes my lord. We have plenty of time to baby-proof this tent, if it comes to that," said Remus.
"I meant from her," said Greyback, indicating Sarah. "Even the ones who seem resigned to their situation, once you get them pregnant, nine times out of ten, they try to end their pregnancies, or their lives. Keep an eye on her until she whelps."
"Thank you my lord. That's sound advice."
"I love having those cute little pups tumbling around the camp," said Greyback with his fanged smile. "It means my pack is growing."
"Yes my lord. The pack grows ever stronger."
"I have a plan to get a whole lot more of them."
"My lord?"
"I'm very impressed with the pups' human disguises. They'll be ready for a mission this full moon, September first."
"The pups?" Did Remus mean to look that worried? "My lord, of course it is not my place to question the wisdom of your plan, but after what happened to Rex—"
"Rex thought he could fight like an adult, and he couldn't, but that's not the plan here. This is a plan that only pups can execute. On September first, where will the magical children of Britain be?"
"The Hogwarts Express," said Remus faintly.
"And my pups will be with them!" said Greyback triumphantly.
Remus blinked. "Has Dumbledore invited them? Has the Board of Governors changed their policy to permit werewolves to enroll—"
Greyback laughed and slapped Remus's back with enthusiasm. "Ha! Good one. No. This will be a surprise."
"My lord, the wards around Hogwarts detect Dark creatures," said Remus quietly. "As soon as they enter the grounds—"
"They don't need to enter the grounds," smiled Greyback. "They'll just get on the train with the children. The moon will take care of the rest."
Remus looked pale. "The moon won't rise until after the train arrives."
Greyback shrugged. "So we delay the train. I've worked it out with the Dark Lord already. His Death Eaters delay it when it's partway there, then let it restart shortly before moonrise. Think of all those helpless human children on a train that's suddenly overrun with werewolves! No adults to help them but the driver and trolley lady, and the Dark Lord said he'll put them under the Imperius curse in advance. They won't even call for help." His fanged grin was huge.
"Many Death Eaters have children," said Remus. "I can't believe—"
"My pups will get their train tickets," smiled Greyback. "There'll be the expected number of kids on the train. No one will notice until it's too late."
"The older students can be formidable," said Remus, "and the pups will be very outnumbered. I'm concerned that they will all be killed."
"Of course, but each one of them will bite several human children before they die, so we'll have a net gain. You'll tell them otherwise of course. No need to worry them. Tell them the children will be completely helpless, and we'll meet them in Hogsmeade to protect them from humans there."
"Brilliant," said Remus eventually. "Absolutely brilliant. And students from different houses rarely interact with one another, so the human children will all just assume that the pups are just humans from different houses."
"Exactly."
"Students board the train in ordinary clothes, and only change into their school robes later, so there's no need to supply the pups with uniforms," said Remus.
"That's right."
"They'll be expected to have trunks of supplies with them. They don't need the actual supplies, just the trunks. Whitefang and I can transfigure them. They needn't be very durable."
"Good thinking," smiled Greyback.
"They'll need…" Sarah saw Remus thinking fast. "They'll need to be able to convincingly converse with humans. They'll even need to be able to converse with each other so any humans who overhear them won't suspect anything's amiss. I'll have to coach them."
"You're the perfect wolf for the job."
"They'll have to act like they're reuniting with their friends after a summer apart. They'll need stories about what they did on their summer holiday. I'll have to give them a bunch of stories."
"You're creative."
"But can they tell these stories convincingly? It would be better if they could base their conversations on real experiences."
"What do you have in mind?" asked Greyback.
Remus laughed. "Well, how about a lot of them went camping? That's something they could talk about knowledgeably. They need to know more human camping traditions, though. I know!" Joy blazed from his eyes for a moment. "Marshmallows! I'll organize a marshmallow roast. Every kid needs to know how to toast marshmallows. That's something they'll talk about with genuine enthusiasm. Anyone overhearing them won't suspect a thing."
"If you say so," said Greyback.
"I just need to go buy some," said Remus.
Greyback nodded.
"And I'd really rather not take a pup with me," Remus added. "Or any of the other wolves. It's not like I need to teach these pups how to shop, since they won't need to know that, they'll only need to know how to ride a train as the last thing they ever do. And the other adult wolves aren't as good at passing as human as I am. I'd rather not be encumbered by one in a muggle shop."
"All right," said Greyback. "Do you want to go today? Right after breakfast?"
"Now," said Remus. "Right now. I should get started on this as soon as possible."
"All right. I'll have Whitefang let you through the wards."
"Thank you, my lord," said Remus. The two werewolves left without a backwards glance at Sarah.
She clutched at the feather Lily had given her. Remus was planning something big, she knew that. Marshmallows were a good cover for whatever he was really doing.
She got herself a cold breakfast.
She had time for a long shower, and a cold lunch. Remus didn't return until afternoon.
"That took a while," commented Sarah.
"The first several shops I tried were sold out," said Remus. "But I found them eventually. Lots of them." He unpacked several grocery bags from his suitcase.
"So how are your friends doing?"
Remus smiled. "Little Harry is perfect. Lily, James, and Sirius are the usual. I spent most of the time talking with Dumbledore, though."
"So what's the plan?"
"Do you know how to toast marshmallows?"
"Yes."
"Please teach the children this evening. Keep them all in one area, around the fire, so they're easy to see."
"Why?"
"And keep Lily's portkey on you at all times. Once the children panic, it won't be safe for a human to be near them, so just get out. I'll take over from there."
"So this is it."
"Yes. You'll be free, Sarah."
"And you?"
"I told Dumbledore that Regulus Black invited me to join the Death Eaters. He's thrilled. We really need a spy there. I'll tell the Dark Lord I barely escaped the destruction of this pack, and I have a particular grudge against Dumbledore and the Order. That should be believable."
"But Black acted like you're a monster."
"Yes. He's right."
"Remus, I know I'll probably never see you again after this, but please, remember one thing. You're not a monster. You're as much of a person as me."
She didn't like the tight-lipped smile he gave her. "Fine."
"I mean it."
"I know. I'm not arguing."
"But you're not agreeing."
"I'm not a monster. I'm as much of a person as you. There."
"You're saying it, but you don't believe it."
"I'm a liar. That's what I do."
"Damn it Remus, I don't want you to humor me, I want you to understand!"
"I understand that in this stressful situation, you developed an attachment to a dangerous animal. That may even be a healthy coping mechanism, I don't know. A beetle probably would have made a better pet. Anyway, it's too late to criticize your choice of pet, as you should soon have your choice of much more suitable objects for your affection."
Sarah grabbed Remus by the shoulders. She wanted to shake some sense into him, but he was as immovable as a boulder. "You're not a monster! You only think you are because of this stupid bigotry in the wizarding—"
"I'm even more monstrous by werewolf standards, Sarah. After today…" His voice broke, but he soldiered on. "The gears are in motion already. I'm an unforgivable traitor by werewolf standards, and a monster by human ones. But you…" He wiped his eye, then soldiered on. "You're human. Your life is worth living. Enjoy it. All this will be behind you soon. You'll be free. But for now…" He picked up the grocery bags. "Enjoy some marshmallows. Teach the children how to enjoy them as well. Come on. I have to build a fire like a human who rarely goes camping."
They set out into the beautiful summer evening.
Word had got out about the special activity, for all the children were gathered around a big pile of wood in the center of a clearing, cheerfully playing their rough games as usual. Adult werewolves chatted around the periphery. Sarah searched, but didn't see Katherine.
"Welcome, everyone," called Remus, smiling. "I hope you all enjoy this popular human pastime, toasting marshmallows over a bonfire. Miss Briarcliff will distribute the marshmallows and teach you what to do with them."
Sarah was suddenly mobbed by children. "Form a queue!" she instructed. "You won't get any marshmallows unless you form a queue first. No, not by rank, by whoever queues up first."
The older werewolves stared as the children obeyed her.
As Sarah organized the crowd, she stole a glance at Remus, tending the fire. He drew a bulging, narrow envelope from his sleeve and slipped it into the fire as he added another log.
Sarah looked away from him. She must have been the only person who noticed Remus's unusual fire-tending technique; everyone else's attention was fixed on her. "Don't eat them yet!" she instructed. "Well, I mean, you could, it's not like they're poisonous raw or anything, but it's more fun to toast them. I'll show you. First you get a long stick…"
After much explanation, Sarah got everyone who showed an interest (kids and some adults) toasting marshmallows. Once everyone was sorted, she finally took a break and stepped back to stand by Remus.
"Thank you," he said.
Greyback came over.
Sarah dropped to the ground unprompted.
"Get up, human," Greyback said impatiently. "We're imitating a human-style gathering here."
Sarah got up.
Greyback paid no more attention to her, instead addressing Remus. "That fire looks awfully smoky."
Remus shrugged. "Outdoor skills aren't really my forte. Sorry. I know many of the wolves here know more about campfires than I do, but this adds to the authenticity. I made a fire like an only moderately competent human. And I think the wood is sort of damp. It did rain recently."
"It's annoying," said Greyback. "Can't you magically dry the wood out before it burns?"
Remus shrugged again. "Like I said, this isn't my field of expertise."
"Hmph. Whitefang could do it. He's handy with a wand. Whitefang!" he called. When he got no answer, he called even louder, hurting Sarah's ears.
"You saw him just a little while ago, didn't you, when he let you through the wards?" Greyback asked Remus.
"Yes," said Remus. "He said he had something to do outside the wards."
"What?!"
"I don't know what, I didn't ask."
"I didn't give him permission to leave," muttered Greyback.
The fire continued to blaze, emitting more smoke into the darkening sky than Sarah would have thought possible. Her eyes followed the trail of smoke up. Were those birds converging on it?
"Lupin," barked Greyback. "You're the only one here who can cast a patronus. Send one to Whitefang. I need to know where he is."
"Yes my lord." Remus drew his wand. "Expecto Patronum!" A glowing silver mist poured from his wand. A wisp occasionally coalesced into an ear here, a paw there, but never a whole wolf.
"What's wrong?" demanded Greyback.
"A patronus needs to be powered by a happy thought," said Remus, speaking slowly and clearly like the teacher he was. "And while I am, of course, happy with the goal of bringing more pups into the pack, at the same time, I am saddened by the means required to reach that goal. I'm sorry, but this mix of emotions makes it difficult to cast a patronus."
Greyback looked at Remus for a while. Then he suddenly engulfed him in a hug. "I know, son," he said. "I know. A leader sometimes has to make sacrifices for the greater good. If you hope to lead this pack someday, you'll have to let go of that sentimentality."
Remus's eyes widened. "My lord, I have no ambition to replace—"
Greyback laughed. "I don't mean anytime soon of course. You're practically a pup yourself, and I'm still in my prime. But someday. You're smart, Lupin. A real asset to the pack. You have the potential to be a great leader someday."
"My lord," Remus was choked up. "I don't want to lead. I couldn't make the sort of decisions a leader needs to make."
"You have potential," said Greyback. "Just give it time. I'm so proud of you, son. One of the best decisions I ever made, giving you the power of the wolf."
"Thank you my lord. I am ever grateful for your gift."
"Try the patronus again," said Greyback.
"Expecto Patronum! Oh, I think I almost got it, look, there's a muzzle…"
Greyback looked, which meant he wasn't looking at the sky, which meant he didn't see the various flying things converging on the camp. Remus did it, Sarah realized. He told the Order of the plan, and killed Whitefang, so the wards that protected the camp have fallen, so now the Order is attacking.
"My marshmallow fell off my stick!" complained a little girl, too young to take the train to Hogwarts, but invited to toast marshmallows nonetheless. "It's burning in the fire!"
"That's all right," said Sarah. "I'll get you another one." She did, putting it on the stick for her. She received a gap-toothed smile in return.
A quick glance at the sky told her the flying things were coming closer. She glanced at Remus, who shook his head at her subtly.
Stop looking at the sky, stupid Gryffindor, she told herself. They'll get here when they get here. "Jason, blow it out first, then eat it!"
Veronica suddenly screamed.
Sarah ran to her. "Did you burn yourself?" but Veronica was pointing at the sky.
Remus ran too. "Just a little burn, I'll heal it, don't worry."
"No, look—"
Remus drew his wand and then, very quietly, cast "Stupefy."
Veronica collapsed in his arms.
"Poor child fainted," said Remus. "It's really not a bad burn, and it's fine now. Perhaps if you could take her back to her tent to sleep it off?" he asked the werewolf who'd run to Veronica at the sound of her scream. She nodded and picked her up.
"Everyone be careful," said Remus. "Keep your eyes on the fire. Don't let it burn you. I don't want anyone getting hurt."
"Look!" yelled a werewolf, an adult this time. He was pointing at the sky.
A skeletal reptilian horse-like creature flapped its bat-like wings. Its rider wielded his wand, and an explosion scattered tents and bodies. The air was suddenly full of screams.
Remus looked up. "Hi dad," he said very quietly. Then slightly louder, "Sarah, get out of here. Use Lily's portkey."
"You're coming too, right?"
Remus looked around at the burning tents.
"Right? Come on!"
"That's Veronica's tent. She's still stupefied." Remus bolted for the burning tent. Sarah followed.
"Extinguo!" The flames petered out. Remus ran into the tent through a hole burnt through the wall, and soon ran out carrying Veronica, who was rubbing her eyes. "Run," he told her. "The wards are down, you can run straight through them. Just run."
"Where's Maggie?" Veronica asked sleepily.
"She's gone ahead, that way," Remus said as he positioned his body to block Veronica's view of a corpse behind him. "Just run."
Veronica nodded and ran, wobbling.
Remus looked around. "Tim! Get out of here! The wards have fallen! Don't stay and fight, just go!"
In the chaos, Sarah followed Remus's example. "Jason, you'll be all right. You can run right through the wards now. Get out of here. The adults will handle this." He ran.
Kid after kid, lie after lie, she told them whatever they needed to hear to calm them down enough to run. Their guardians and friends had gone ahead and were waiting for them. This was all a drill. Everything would be fine. Another explosion made her left leg feel wet and not work well, which was annoying, but she kept on. Remus ran up to her and did something with his wand that made her leg work again.
"Avada Kedavra!" said Greyback, and a man in a black cloak dropped out of the sky almost on top of Remus. His broom and some bones shattered when he hit. Remus stared at his corpse for a moment.
"Don't just stand there, Lupin, fight!"
"Yes my lord. Please allow me to cast a Protego on you. You are the pack." He pointed his wand at Greyback.
Greyback grabbed Remus's wrist with his clawed left hand and pushed his wand aside. "No. Protect yourself first. You're the future of the pack. He aimed his wand up. "Avada Kedavra!" and a tawny hippogriff's wings suddenly went slack. It plummeted from the air and landed with a crunch.
Its rider, a man already battle-scarred and with a wooden leg, tumbled off his dead steed, then in one smooth motion sprang out of his roll and pointed his wand at the nearest werewolf, who happened to be Remus. "Avada—" He was suddenly tackled by an enormous black dog wearing spiked black leather armor.
"Dumbledore's grim!" exclaimed Greyback. His eyes widened in horrified realization. "Whitefang must have betrayed us! He saw you rising through the ranks above him and got Dumbledore to get you out of his way for him. Run, Lupin! Don't let Dumbledore take you alive!" He set an example, galloping away on all fours.
Padfoot and the peglegged man were both snarling and struggling, Padfoot's teeth piercing the man's wrist, preventing him from pointing his wand at his opponent. The man gouged at the dog's eyes with his other hand.
"Stupefy," said Remus with a gesture of his wand, and the man stopped struggling.
The dog transformed into Sirius's human form, wearing a spiked black leather jacket. He pointed his wand at his own face and cast "Episkey. Not the face! How do I look?"
"Fine. Thanks for saving my life," said Remus.
"Any time." Sirius looked at the unconscious man. "Nimue's crablice! I actually got the jump on the famous Alastor Moody, and I can't brag about it without revealing my animagus form," he complained. He aimed his wand at the unconscious man's head. "Obliviate."
Another explosion rocked the camp, and Sarah looked to see the remains of Remus's tent burning. Remus ran towards it. Sarah followed, slower than him, but hurrying when she saw that he was chasing Angelique. He caught her just before she ran into the burning tent.
"I've got to save the library!" cried Angelique. "Being a librarian is a responsibility and a privilege!"
"It's hopeless!" said Remus. "You've got to get out of here! We can build another library, Angelique. There's no replacing you."
Angelique snarled and struggled. Eyes gleaming gold, she sank her fangs into Remus's arm.
"Avada Kedavra!" Angelique suddenly went limp in Remus's arms. "Even the little ones are ferocious," remarked Sirius, loping gracefully to Remus. "Come on, get out of here. There's no anti-portkey ward, we just did an anti-apparition one. Do you need a portkey? Lily gave me a couple extras."
Remus said nothing.
"Go home, Remus," said Sirius. "Your work here is done."
"My work," repeated Remus dully, looking at Angelique's corpse in his arms. In death, her head hung back as if howling. Her fangs were sharp, her unseeing eyes gold.
"We'll mop up the rest," Sirius assured him. "Don't worry about it. Do you still have a portkey to Potter Manor?"
Remus's gaze darted to Sarah. "Love," he said. "First word of the activation phrase. Then nest. Get out of here, Sarah. You'll be safe at Potter Manor."
"You're going too," said Sirius.
"I can't just leave them," said Remus.
"We'll handle it," Sirius assured him. "You can't do much in a battle in which both sides want to kill you."
"Dumbledore assured me that the children would be spared," Remus choked out.
"Yeah, he said something about that But there aren't any children here," said Sirius, confused. "Just werewolves. Ferals. Look, fangs and everything. They tried to bite me. Their humanity's gone, not like you."
Remus's slow, steady breathing turned into a growl. He looked at Sirius with yellow eyes and bared his fangs.
Sirius screamed and stumbled backwards.
"Get out of here, Sarah," growled Remus. "I don't want to have to protect you too."
"You can't do this alone," she cried.
She screamed when she felt someone grab her. Sirius's breath smelled spicy and strange as he said "Love nest" close to her ear. Suddenly she was whirling through space in a way that was different from but just as uncomfortable as apparition. The living room of Potter Manor materialized around them.
"Is Remus all right?" demanded Lily. "And James?"
Sirius, screaming, collapsed on the floor. A broken feather fluttered from his hand.
"Where are you hurt?" asked Lily, all business. She scanned Sirius with her wand. "I'm not detecting—"
"Remus!" screamed Sirius. "He's—"
"You had better not tell me Remus is dead, Sirius! You were supposed to protect him! Oh God, I should have been there myself—"
"He's not dead!" shouted Sarah. "He's alive. He told me to get out of there, it was too dangerous. He said he didn't want to have to protect me."
"But why didn't he come with you?"
"He's turned!" screamed Sirius.
"What do you mean?" demanded Lily.
"He's gone! He's gone feral. Like we learned in Defense class, his humanity's gone, the wolf's taken over!"
"What are you talking about?" yelled Sarah. "He's the same as he always was."
"He was defending werewolves!" cried Sirius.
"He was defending children!" yelled Sarah. "There weren't just fighters in that camp, there were civilians! The Order just attacked everyone as if werewolves are all the same!"
"Fighters and camp followers," said Sirius, "they're all ferals."
"Remus was teaching them how to defy Greyback!" yelled Sarah. "He had to be subtle, but—"
"Exactly," said Sirius. "Lily, listen. Remus was defending the werewolves loyal to him. Werewolves vying for the position of pack leader sometimes betray their competitors to outside agents. Don't you remember? Third year Defense class, Professor Picardy said bounty hunters can take advantage of werewolf infighting like this. Remus betrayed Greyback and Whitefang so he could become pack leader himself."
"What?!" exclaimed Sarah.
"He was using us," Sirius continued. "Probably using the Death Eaters the same way. That's how he knew so much about them. Sell Death Eater secrets to the Order, sell Order secrets to the Death Eaters, all to gain power in the pack!"
Sarah was filled with fury. "Shut up!" She turned to Lily. "Don't listen to him!"
"When you said you thought Sirius was the spy, Remus put you up to that, didn't he?" said Lily faintly.
"What? No!" said Sarah.
"What's this?" asked Sirius.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," said Lily. "Remus must have got Sarah to do it for him, she said you were the spy in the Order. I know, I'm sorry, it doesn't make sense, but I passed the idea along to Dumbledore. It's just the sort of false idea a spy would plant to distract attention from himself."
"No!" said Sarah. "Remus is loyal to the Order! If anyone in the Order is a traitor, I still think it's Sirius! How can any of you trust him after he betrayed Remus when he was sixteen?"
"What?" Lily looked at Sirius.
"I don't know what she's talking about," said Sirius.
Lily looked back to Sarah. "What did Remus tell you Sirius did?"
"He sent another student—"
"Stop!" shouted Sirius. "Remus filled her with lies to try to sow strife in the Order! Don't listen to her! We've got to tell Dumbledore that Remus has turned!"
Lily pointed her wand at Sirius. "Obliviate."
Sirius slumped to the floor, unconscious.
The room was suddenly very quiet.
"What did you do?" asked Sarah.
"I had to stop Sirius before he told Dumbledore Remus has gone feral. Now Sirius won't remember anything of note to report."
"Thank you," said Sarah faintly.
"Now then." Lily, wand still in hand, turned her emerald eyes to Sarah. "Did you also see Remus fighting to defend werewolves?"
"His students! All the kids in the pack. They trusted him completely, he couldn't just let them die!"
"He saved the werewolves loyal to him," said Lily, nodding. "And had the Order kill those loyal to Greyback. That's what he asked us to do in Hogsmeade as well. These werewolf pack power plays—"
"No!" said Sarah. "You've got it all wrong! He doesn't want to be a pack leader! When Greyback told him he'd be a great pack leader some day, Remus said he didn't want the job."
Lily smiled. "Of course he'd have to say that to the current pack leader. He will make a great pack leader someday. I'm happy for him. He's among his own kind now. He was never ours. He was never mine."
"No! Lily, he's always been—"
Lily pointed her wand at her. "Obliviate."
Author's note: I'm finishing my stories here, but I post all these plus more, new stories on Archive of Our Own, a much better fanfiction site because it has no ads. Please join me there.