"Everything happens when it's supposed to."

Michelle C. Ustaszeski

"Buongiorno, honey," Rosa greeted when Jessie stumbled into the kitchen early Sunday morning.

Billie was already in her high chair eating some yogurt and blueberries and she waved when she saw her big sister enter the room. "Essie!" She exclaimed.

"Hi," Jessie replied, wiping the remaining sleep from her eyes.

"Did you sleep okay?" Rosa asked, as she reached for the vintage Farberware percolator and poured herself a cup of coffee. "You looked like you were-a out like-a light when I came in to get Billie this morning."

"Yeah," Jessie nodded as she pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. "I wasn't even afraid once!" She declared proudly. "I told Uncle Sonny I thought this was my first sleepover, but then I 'memebered that I used to sleep at Dr. Al's house before Billie was born. But maybe that doesn't count 'cause Momma was there..."

"Dr. Al?" Rosa asked, casually, as she stirred sugar into her coffee. Her son was pretty open with her about his life, and how much he cared for Amanda and her children, but he never volunteered any information about the fathers of his godchildren. All she knew was that they had two different fathers and neither one of them was really in the picture.

Jessie nodded. "Yeah. That's Billie's daddy."

"Oh, I see. Do you see Dr. Al often?"

Jessie wrinkled her nose. "No. I don't 'member that last time. It was a long time ago." Rosa didn't have to fish for any information, because Jessie continued talking without any prompting, "But that's okay, I guess, 'cause the last time I saw my daddy was a long time ago, too. It was so long ago that I don't even 'member it. I think I was a little baby," she shrugged. "Momma showed me a picture once when I asked her if I had a daddy, too."

"Oh, does that make you sad?" Rosa asked as she walked over to wipe Billie's hands with a wet paper towel. "Not seeing your daddy, I mean."

She shook her head. "Nah, 'cause I have an Uncle Sonny and I think that's as good as a daddy...or maybe it's even better. Guess what," Jessie said with a giggle, swinging her legs back and forth under the chair.

"What?" Rosa played along.

"Momma says that when I was a baby Uncle Sonny was the only one who could make me stop crying! She said he used to come over at lunchtime too and take walks with us so I'd take a nap!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!" Jessie nodded; eyes wide. She picked up a strawberry from the plate of fruit Rosa had placed in front of her at the table. "But...sometimes, I think it would nice if Uncle Sonny was my daddy," she added, casually. "He'd be a really, really good daddy. Right?"

Rosa was saved from coming up with an appropriate response when the side door opened and Dom entered the kitchen carrying a bakery box. "Who wants zeppole?" He asked happily.

"Zepa what?" Jessie asked. "What's that?"

"Ze-puh-lee," Rosa sounded out slowly. "It's like a powdered sugar donut."

"Ze-puh-lee," Jessie repeated slowly.

"They were Sonny's favorite," Dom added. "He really liked the plain powdered sugar ones the best."

"Then that's what I want, pleeeeease!" Jessie giggled.

Dom opened the box and handed a zeppola to Jessie, and then he ripped off a small piece of another one and placed it on the tray of Billie's highchair.

"We should send Momma and Uncle Sonny a picture," Jessie suggested after taking a bite and having the powder sugar topping leave traces on her mouth.

"Oh, I'm not sure I know how to do that..." Rosa said as she pulled her iPhone off of its charger on the counter.

"That's s'okay. I can teach you! You just gotta take the picture first."

"Okay." Rosa tapped the camera icon to open the camera. "Say formaggi!"

"Formaggi! That means cheese," Jessie announced. "Uncle Sonny taught me that when we made pizza!"

Amanda was the first to stir – hardly one to ever be able to sleep in anymore. She smiled when she looked over at the man sleeping soundly beside her. These were the moments that she loved. It brought her such a sense of peace and calmness to watch the rise and fall of his chest and listening to the sounds of his steady breathing comforted her even on her worst days. He spent most nights at her apartment, with the exception of a few nights if there was a big case at work, but she often found herself daydreaming about what it would be like when they made their living arrangement permanent. It was something she never, ever thought about when she dated other men. She knew she only moved in with Dr. Al because she wanted to trick herself into being able to make that work out, even though she knew their relationship was on life support since well before Billie was conceived. She never would have been content to just lay there and watch Al – or anyone else- sleep like that, either, but things were different with Dominick.

Dominick – that's what she liked to think of him as in these special moments between the two of them. He looked so carefree in his sleep and it made her heart flutter in the best of ways. It was as if the stress of work and everyday life left him in his slumber. She took a moment to really study him and how he's changed over the years. His hair was mostly gray now – and if she really looked for it, she could see a few white strands here and there, but she'd never point that out to him yet - and the lines around his eyes and mouth were deeper. Sometimes it was easy to forget the Sonny Carisi with the mustache that came into the squad room that day...he seemed like a completely different person now, but to be fair, so was she. The girls made her stronger. She never thought she could be a mother, but Jessie and Billie changed her whole entire outlook of the world.

Sometimes, she wondered if they would have lasted if they got together way back then, and to be honest, she doesn't think they would have made it. Maybe in some ways he was ready for her, but she just wasn't ready for him yet. Maybe he was on to something last night, after all. Perhaps fate did bring them together, but everything that happened in between needed to happen so that they could have a solid foundation. He treated her as an equal, respected her, and loved her girls like his own. After all the mistakes she made in her life, she couldn't believe this was where she ended up at this moment in time. Her mind began to drift and she wondered what would have happened if her childhood was different than the one she had. Would she have still landed in NYC working at SVU? Maybe one of the worst things in her life did in fact lead her to the best things in her life.

She wiggled around under the covers, silently rolling over so she could face him completely. As if on instinct, he moved closer towards her, but she was pretty sure he was still asleep. She recalled once, when she asked Liv how she could trust a man after doing this job day in and day out, and Liv had very simply responded: I trusted my partner.

Amanda had known Liv was referring to the partner she had before Nick came along, but at the time, she couldn't help to wonder if Nick Amaro could be the man she could trust like that. She had an infatuation with him. He was handsome and broken in his own way, and she was immediately sucked in his orbit. While the fling she had with Amaro was fun and satisfying, she soon realized that they were only just a fling. Nick didn't bring out the best in her, he brought out the worst in her. He got angry quickly, and she just as quickly would lose her temper. And while he did provide comfort when she needed it, the way he provided it didn't come as effortlessly as Dominick's ability provide comfort. The sex was good with Nick, and it probably only kept them going for as long as they did because it was a forbidden secret between the two of them. But, if she thought sex with Nick was good, it was nothing compared to what she had with Dominick. At first, she thought it was because they waited so long for all that time to end up together, but she soon realized it was more than that. It was that cliché difference between having sex and making love.

Dominick did bring out the better side of her. He knew all of her deepest secrets and fears and didn't see her any differently. He loved her unconditionally, and that was a type of love she didn't have a lot of experience with.

With a shiver, Amanda pulled the thin white sheet tighter around her naked body and pressed herself further against the sleeping man at her side.

"Hey!" He yelped when her cold feet nudged his ankles. "You're freezing!"

"I know," she replied. "It's got to be almost 80 degrees outside already, but this little air conditioning unit sure does make it an ice box in here."

He pretended to push her feet away. "Get outta here with those cold feet, Rollins."

She knew he was teasing her. "Don't you wanna warm me up?" She pouted her lip a little bit.

"Mmm," he sighed contently has he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his side. "There could be worse responsibilities, I suppose. I know you've been up awhile. Why'd you wait so long to get warmed up?" He asked as he adjusted the sheets around them, pausing to push her bangs behind her ear. He took an extra second to stroke his thumb against her cheek.

She shrugged. "I was just thinking about how lucky I am... guess I got lost in thought and lost track of time." She then reached out to mirror his actions and brushed her fingers against the stubble on his face.

He gave her a sleepy smile. "I can understand that." He didn't get many opportunities to watch Amanda sleep and contemplate life while doing so, but there were many nights where he would check on Billie and Jessie and lose track of time as he listened to their little snores. He always said a few extra prayers those nights – thanking God for allowing him to be a part of their lives. "Last night," he began as he dropped a kiss to her bare shoulder – taking special care when he reached the scar that was there, "was something."

She giggled in response. "That's one way to put it. Don't be so modest."

He laughed. "I don't think modest is a word that can be used to describe last night..."

It had been one of the best nights of their whole entire relationship, and they weren't going to forget it anytime soon. It was a complete redo of the night outside of that motel, and even after that, it turned into one of the most romantic nights of her life as they drank champagne and ate chocolate covered strawberries in the jacuzzi tub before they made slow, sensual love before they finally gave into sleep.

"I like you like this, you know."

"Like what? Naked?" On the nights he stayed at the apartment, there was no falling asleep before they were both presentable again – there was always a good chance that Jessie would come in after a nightmare.

He laughed again. "Well, yes, but that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Happy," he replied, simply. He'd never tire of hearing her laughs and giggles. "I like when you're carefree; happy – all I want is for you to be happy."

She blushed the slightest bit. "You make it easier for me to be happy. You know, Liv said something like that to me last night..."

"That she wants you to be happy?"

"That you want me to be happy."

"Oh. That." He threaded his fingers through hers. "Well, Liv's known how I've felt about you for a while now... she just...she got it. She said she understood what it was like to get close with someone you work with. It was a judgement free zone with her. She just...listened. She knew that the relationship between us was complicated, and she didn't tell me one way or the other what I should do. She just had this whole level of empathy about it that no one else had. She said she knew what is was like to get close to someone you work with, and I could tell that she did. She wasn't just blowing smoke."

She lazily drew circles on his chest with her pointer finger. "Hmm. I wonder if she was referring to Cassidy or Tucker..."

"I got the impression it was neither. I think it was something else...something...unrequited."

"Huh."

"Maybe an old partner...or like, you know, Barba even."

"Barba?!" Amanda jolted straight up pulling him along with her. "What do you know? Spill!"

"I don't know anything, I swear!"

"Nothing?" she asked. "Not even a breadcrumb of a clue?"

"Nothing that's not circumstantial. What do you know?" He shot back. "You must be thinkin' of somethin' if ya reacted like that."

She shrugged. "Nothing that's not circumstantial," she mocked back. "I just always thought there was something about the way they were with each other – especially around the time Sheila Porter took Noah. They got really close then."

"I don't know...I always that she'd be more likely to end up with Peter Stone. There could have been something there."

"Stone?! What the hell, Dominick? Really?"

"There's been a rumor or two around the DA's office because of the way he left so...abruptly."

"Hmm..." she pondered as she leaned back against his chest. "Well, no matter who it was, Liv deserves to be happy, too." Amanda frowned. "Too bad Barba wasn't able to make it to the wedding last night, then maybe we would have had more clues to work with."

"Yeah, sometimes I miss thinkin' like a detective and not like a lawyer," Sonny said as his phone vibrated on the nightstand. He reached over to grab it and chuckled when he opened the text. "Jessie must've taught Ma how to send pictures, too."

"Maybe your mom is just better with technology than you thought." She countered.

"Nah, she literally had a flip phone until right before quarantine started last year. She had that phone until it wouldn't work anymore. I think this new leaf she's turning over is thanks to Jessie." He grinned. "Look at this."

Amanda peered over to look at the image of Jessie and Billie with sitting at the kitchen table eating powdered sugar donuts with the stereotypical cheese smile that all toddlers seem to love to do. "Send me that. Looks like they're enjoying those donuts, too."

"Donuts?" He seemed mortified. "No, no, no, Manda. Those aren't donuts. They're zeppole from Bruno's. I'd recognize those anywhere. They're so much better than a donut."

"I'm sure they're basically the same..."

"No! There's a difference, I swear!"

She laughed. "You get so defensive about your Italian foods... it's sweet," she teased him before becoming serious again. "I'm really glad they're with your parents, though," she smiled up at him through her eyelashes. "It made this weekend that much better. You know," she began as she noticed the time. "We should start getting up if we're going to make to get brunch before we head back to Staten Island. We could probably even save some time if we conserve water and shower together..."

"Would we now?" He asked, grinning, knowing full well it wouldn't save anytime at all. If anything, it would probably end up putting them behind schedule.

"Mmhm," she nodded. "You in?"

"Well, that depends, are you gonna hog all the hot water this time?"

"Ehhh," she shrugged. "I can learn to share, I suppose..."

"Yeah, okay," he snorted. "I'll believe that when it happens." He pulled the sheet away from them and waved a hand towards the bathroom. "After you."

A/N: I have been slacking lately in sharing my thanks, but please know that I appreciate each and every one of you who stops by to read this. Thank you!

I'm thinking we'll be wrapping this story up in two more chapters. So, we're almost there.