"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another."
― Thomas Merton

Amanda watched as Sonny opened the door to his parents' house and walked right in without stopping knock. She supposed that may have been normal for most families, but she could never imagine visiting her mother and just walking in. She never felt welcomed in that regard – even when she lived with her mother - but here with the Carisis it was just normal...and expected even. It may have even offended his mother if he did pause to knock on the door or ring the doorbell.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, she could smell the Sunday gravy wafting from the kitchen. She smiled, recalling one of the early days of her friendship with Carisi when Jessie was a newborn.

"You up for some company tomorrow? I'll bring the Sunday gravy," he texted her late one Saturday when he knew she'd be awake feeding Jessie.

"Yes!" She replied quickly. "I need adult interaction."

"Great! See you then."

Amanda was a girl with Southern roots, and had just assumed by Sunday gravy he meant biscuits and gravy and that he'd arrive on her doorstep first thing in the morning. When that never happened, she thought maybe he meant chicken and gravy for dinner, instead, so she waited patiently for him to arrive.

It was after noon when he arrived with bags of groceries from the Italian market. "Hey," he apologized. "I wanted to be here sooner, but the market was crazy. Everyone and their mother is out today."

She followed him to the kitchen as he dropped the bags on the table and went over to the sink to wash his hands. "There," he wiped his hands on the towel. "Now that I'm all set, let me hold my goddaughter." He beamed as Amanda slid the baby into his arms. "Hey," he cooed. "It's only been two days since I've been here. How'd you get so big?"

Amanda peered into the grocery bags on the table. "Uh, what's the deal, Carisi? You promised me Sunday gravy, but all I see are tomatoes, herbs, and what's that? Stuff to make meatballs?"

He pivoted around to face her, rocking Jessie gently in his arms. "Yeah. You gotta make the Sunday gravy. What did you think I was gonna do? Bring over store bought garbage for the mother of my perfect little goddaughter?"

"That's not gravy," she argued.

"Uh...yeah, it is, Rollins."

"I'm no chef, but that's sauce – not gravy."

"Sunday gravy is sauce...you didn't know that?" He asked.

She made a face.

"Oh, that's right. You're not a New Yorker...or Italian. It's a whole thing...I'll explain it all to you after this one goes down for her nap."

"We're back!" Sonny called out over the sounds of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons coming from an actual record player in the living room. They could hear Jessie trying to sing the words of "Sherry" and Billie making her attempt at singing something but they couldn't tell just what exactly she was trying to sing.

"You're here!" Jessie yelled.

They followed her voice and found the crew in the kitchen. Billie was in a high chair with Dom supervising as she ate little bits of mozzarella cheese, and Jessie was sitting at the kitchen table tearing salad greens and placing them in a large wooden bowl, while Rosa was standing over a pot of sauce at the stove.

"Ma-Ma!" Billie squealed when she saw her mother walk into the room. "Unca!" She waved her arms at Sonny. "Hi, hi, hi."

Sonny lifted Billie from the high chair and she shoved a chunk of cheese into his mouth. "Oh, thank you." He laughed after he swallowed the piece of cheese before giving the child and Eskimo kiss with his nose.

"I had so much fun," Jessie said as Amanda dropped a kiss on top of her head. "I can't wait to tell you everything. I wanna do this again."

"I'm sure you will. I think we'll come over here a lot more." Amanda replied. "It's nice here, huh?"

Jessie bobbed her head up and down.

"I'd like-a-that very much," Rosa replied. "How was the wedding?"

"Very nice," Sonny replied. "It was exactly what Fin and Phoebe wanted. I'm happy for them."

"That's nice." Rosa smiled as she sprinkled some sugar into the sauce. "You eat?"

Amanda bit back a smile – going as far as burying her face in Billie's hair as she gave her daughter a kiss. She definitely realized where Sonny's obsession with making sure people were well fed came from. Sienna was on to something – food certainly was a love language in the Carisi family.

"Yeah, we had a nice brunch before we left the hotel, but you know, I could go for a snack..." He handed Billie to Amanda and walked over to the counter – zeroing in on loaf of what Amanda assumed was freshly baked bead

Even with her back to him, his mother knew what he was trying to do. "Smetti!" She yelled at him as she turned around. "You know that's the dinner bread. Get the other loaf," she nodded her head in the other direction and Sonny changed course. "Marone," she mumbled under her breath.

"Sorry, Ma," he replied sheepishly. The expression "like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar" was definitely the most accurate way to describe his demeanor, although, "like a kid in the bread box" would have been only slightly more accurate.

"For thirty some years, he's been thinking he can get into the dinner bread early," Rosa began as she turned to face Amanda, "you think he would have learned by now that I won't let that happen."

"He's just stubborn like that," Amanda shrugged with a chuckle.

"Oh, he's stubborn all right. I wonder where he gets it from," Rosa said as she stared down her husband with her hands on her hips.

"Oooh, no, Rosatina," Dom said as he pushed his chair out from the table and stood up. "That's all from your side of the family. The Capuzellos are as stubborn as mules."

She stirred the sauce again. "Don't you "Rosatina" me, Signore! It's all you and the Carisis." She waved her wooden spoon in the air in his direction – not even caring about the specks of sauce that landed on the counter and her apron.

"Well," his father began, a smile forming at his lips, "You're a Carisi, too, and have been for a long time, sooo..." He trailed off when laughter overtook him, and soon, Rosa joined in with her own laughter before returning her attention to the pot of sauce on the stove.

Amanda watched as Sonny shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully as he shoved a piece of buttered bread into his mouth after he dipped into the pot of sauce. This was normal to him.

The way they "fought" was endearing. They were loud, animated, and dramatic, but it was completely different than the way her parents treated each other. With Rosa and Dom, there was an underlining of mutual love, affection, and admiration, and Amanda could see herself and Sonny acting that way for the rest of their lives.

"Billie and I learned to play...to play...wait, what was it called?" Jessie asked as she turned to Dom. "That game we played yesterday."

"Bocce." The older man reminded her.

"Oh, yeah. We learned to play bocce."

"Really?" Sonny was impressed.

"Well," his father corrected, "a version of it." He winked.

"Wanna watch us play?"

"Well, of course!"

"Let's gooooo!" Jessie tugged Sonny's arm. "Come on, Billie, we gotta show Momma and Uncle Sonny how we play bocce."

Billie clapped her hands together and squirmed out of her mother's grip so she could follow her sister.

Rosa placed a lid on the pot and turned the stove down. "Wait 'til you see this," she said to Amanda as she wiped her hand off on her apron. "It's adorable." Then, she picked up the salad bowl Jessie had been using, placed cling wrap over it and stuck it in the fridge.

Amanda wanted to offer to help, but Rosa moved so quickly she didn't even have the chance. She could tell that hosting like this has been something the older woman has done her whole entire life and something she thrived from.

"Can I be on you team again?" Jessie said to Dom. "Billie can be on Uncle Sonny's team."

"Looks like the team captain has spoken, son," Dom said to Sonny. "Hope you haven't forgotten how to play."

"I remember, Pop."

"Good." Dom slapped his son on the shoulder. "In bocca al lupo, mio figlio!"

Everyone went out the back door and Rosa nodded to the chairs on the patio for Amanda to sit down. "Can I get you anything? Water? Wine? Coffee? There's some beer I think..."

"Oh, no. No, I'm fine. Thank you, though," Amanda replied.

Rosa and Amanda sat in a comfortable silence for the first few minutes as Captain Jessie reminded Billie how to play the game.

"Dom made that set of bocce when Theresa was no older than Billie," Rosa began. "Theresa always wanted to play when her uncles did, but the balls were too heavy and too large for her to hold. She always dropped them and one time it landed on her foot. She cried and cried and cried—it's a wonder she didn't break a toe, actually. But the next day, Dom spent all afternoon making his own version of a child safe game of bocce so she wouldn't get hurt like that again."

Amanda smiled – imagining Sonny doing the exact same thing, only she didn't have to imagine too much. "One time Jessie closed her finger in her toy box. I think she was more scared than hurt, I mean it was a plastic toy box, after all, but as soon as she stopped crying enough to satisfy Sonny that that she wasn't hurt, he ran out to get a pool noodle. He used it to put a little bumper type thing on the edges of the box and the lid. He essentially baby proofed a baby toy because he didn't want her to get hurt."

Rosa chuckled. "There's something about fathers and daughters..." she started before she realized what she said. "Oh, I, uh..."

Amanda reached out to touch the other woman's arm. "Don't be sorry. He's always loved them like his own. He's the best and only father figure they've ever had. He deserves the credit... he does so much for them...for us."

Rosa was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "You know, for a while there, Sonny wanted to be a priest. That's probably the dream of any Catholic mother, but I always hoped he'd change his mind. I knew he was meant to have a family of his own one day, and now he has it. You and Jessie and Billie are good for him. I don't ever remember him being this happy – he used to have an underlying layer of sadness that seemed to follow him. I used to worry that he'd never find what he was really looking for in life," she confessed softly. "I know we've only just met, but Dom and I love you and the girls because you love Sonny, and Sonny loves you all. It's simple, really."

"Thank you for so graciously welcoming me and the girls into your lives and your home. I didn't grow up like this...my own family is nothing like this at all... I was so afraid of messing things up. That's why it took so long for Sonny and I to get to this point." Being a gambler, she was no stranger to taking risks, but when it came to taking a risk and allowing herself to be loved like that by him, it terrified her because she had too much to lose if it failed. "Anyway," she continued after clearing her throat. "If there was a way for me to change biology... I would." She said, staring out into the yard with a faraway expression as she watched Dom, Sonny and the girls play.

Biology.

The word made her inwardly cringe, it was a painful reminder that Dominick Carisi, Jr. may never have a biological child of his own.

The start of their relationship coincided with her annual exam, and she talked with her doctor about the idea of having another baby. After some extra tests, the news from the doctor wasn't the best. Between her age, prior pregnancy complications, and several other factors, there were an incredible number of risks for both her and the baby if she were to get pregnant again.

She told Sonny right away – wanting to give him an out before things got too far in case not having a biological child was a deal breaker for him. While she knew he was disappointed; he was more concerned with figuring out how that made her feel. And to be honest, Amanda didn't quite know how she felt. She still needed to come to terms with it. She remembered crying a little bit the night she told him as she grieved for something she didn't even know she wanted. Sonny played an active role in emotional support when she had been pregnant before, but she couldn't help to think about how different it would be if they experienced it as a couple – watching as a life that they created together grew.

Thinking back to that night, she remembered how protectively he held her when they crawled into bed and how adamant he had been that they don't jeopardize her health or the health of their baby like that. Over the years, she had seen him many ways, but she never quite saw him like that before – like he was holding something back and was trying to tell her it without telling her it. He also said there were other ways to have a baby, but even if they only raised Jessie and Billie together, that would be enough for him. It was ironic – she was still so afraid of a stupid marriage certificate – but all she wanted to do was raise children with him and that was for life. She couldn't help but to curse her feelings and emotions for being so complicated.

Years of motherhood made Rosa an excellent multitasker and she was able to converse with Amanda and watch the game of bocce all at the same time. "Brava, Bille!" she clapped when Billie succeeded in getting the ball where it was supposed to go. Then, without missing a beat, she turned her attention back to Amanda. She could sense there was something on her mind, but she knew that she shouldn't push for information she wasn't ready to share. And even if her children did like to tease her about being nosy, she knew how to respect boundaries. "What's biology, anyways, huh? Do you know Cousin Nikki?"

"Yeah."

"She was adopted."

"Oh? I had no idea."

"Mhm and that didn't change how much the family loved her. Biology was completely irrelevant. It's still irrelevant and always will be to us. Although one time, Cousin Angelo told Nikki she couldn't play with them because they didn't have the same blood. Eight-year-old Sonny punched he eleven-year-old Angelo right in the face for saying that. I don't condone violence, but I chose to look away that day," she shrugged. "I knew he'd confess before Sunday Mass, anyways, but Angelo was a brat and he got what he deserved. Actually, he's still a brat but I digress..."

Amanda pursed her lips together. "Did Sonny say something to you?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper – almost afraid of the answer – and not completely realizing how her question had no context.

"About what?" Rosa's brows furrowed as she turned in her seat to face Amanda more, the concern in her expression was evident.

"That...that the doctor said I might not be able to have another baby...that it's too risky."

"Oh, cara. No...he didn't." There was a look that flashed through Rosa's eyes, that Amanda had a hard time deciphering. Grief? Loss? Understanding? Empathy? It seemed like a mixture of so many things, but there was something familiar there, too. It was similar to how Sonny had been the night she told him.

"What if...it's just..." Amanda struggled to find the words. "What if this is as close as he gets to being a dad and it's all my fault?"

"No," Rosa began firmly. "Something like that is not your fault, you hear me? Some things our just beyond our control."

She reached out to take Amanda's hand in hers, and Amanda felt a sense of maternal comfort that had been completely foreign to her up until that point. Amanda could also sense there was something Rosa was leaving unsaid. Her voice was barely a whisper and she bit her bottom lip before she spoke again after a few beats had passed.

"Besides, he's already a dad. Biology doesn't make you dad, cara. It makes you a father. Love is what makes you a dad, and I mean, look at them. Just look," she used her free hand towards them, the smile that came to her lips was a complete reflex at that point. "That is love. I strongly believe that God has a plan and because of it, fate brings you to the people you need, when you need them. It's the family fate makes for us."

Just then, Billie trotted over to Rosa and announced, "All done!" as she climbed to sit on Rosa's lap.

"Aww, Billie!" Jessie whined from across the yard. "We aren't done yet!"

"That means your momma should take Billie's spot," Dom suggested.

"Yeah, come on, Manda!" Sonny agreed.

"Oh, please, Momma. Please, please, please!" Jessie jumped up and down.

"Ma-ma play!" Billie clapped.

"Go on," Rosa encouraged. "You should have just enough time to finish the game before the gravy's ready for family dinner," she smiled.

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The next chapter is the last one.