Disclaimer; I do not own fairy tail or any of it's characters Hiro Mashima does...I only own the idea to my own made up storyline for the characters, haha.
A/N thank you to everyone who has been so patient, I am very sorry for leaving this story for so long but life always seemed to get in the way whenever I tried to write. Anywho, here you go I hope you enjoy and leave a review to let me know what you think :) only constructive criticism please, no bashing.
Big thanks to Kina OrangeTiger-Chan who is the best at helping me over come obstacles in terms of writing and keeping the characters in character.
*Juvia's p.o.v*
Juvia watched the romantic scene unfolding before her with mixed emotions. She was excited for her friend and could not be happier that Freed had actually proposed to Mira, but at the same time she felt jealous of the happy couple. They would both be planning the next stage of their relationship, plotting out how they would be spending the rest of their lives together and here Juvia was alone. Still chasing her desired partner, who basically had no interest in her whatsoever.
That thought depressed Juvia even more, she slumped more over her drink and sighed. "Maybe Juvia should just give up."
"Why so blue? This is something to celebrate"
"Juvia knows that, she just feels a little jealous is all." Juvia breathed, staring into her half empty glass. She didn't even bother to look and see who her new companion was, she knew his voice anywhere. It belonged to her beloved, Gray.
"I don't see anything to be jealous of." Gray said.
Juvia turned her gaze toward the ice mage, tears springing to her eyes as his words sunk in. His shrug just nailed home the fact that he had no interest in romance at all. He really was as cold as ice.
"Well Gray-sama is just cold to that sort of thing isn't he." Juvia snapped, downing the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Juvia has had enough of always been rejected by you or having her advances ignored, she gives up. Juvia is going to find herself a man who will actually care for her." Juvia slammed her palms down on the table top, pushed her chair back, gave Gray a steely/hurt glare and proceeded to march her way to the bar for another beverage.
"Juvia will not cry, she will not ruin this amazing night. She will not rain on the parade of happiness." She muttered to herself as she marched, desperately trying to hold the water works in check. She did not want anyone to see how gloomy she was feeling, that would make her feel worse to have them worry and fuss over her and take the spotlight of off the two people who deserved it right now. But maybe tomorrow she would confided in her friends and seek their opinions, yes that is what Juvia will do, in the morning.
"Juvia, wait."
Juvia heard the plea but refused to stop, her heart already felt like it was breaking into teeny tiny pieces, she was not going to add more fuel to that fire by letting Gray-sama hurt her anymore than he already had tonight.
"Juvia."
This time Juvia could not ignore the man who was calling out her name, as he had grabbed a hold of her wrist and wasn't planning on letting go of it anytime soon, as the intensity of the grip was indicating. It wasn't so tight it hurt her but it was firm enough that she would not get away.
For just a moment, Juvia allowed herself to believe she was in a scene from a romance novel, Gray was the dashing hero and she the beautiful heroine. But she quickly shock that image from her mind. Allowing that sort of day dreaming would only make this harder, make the rejection sting more. Though the fact he had followed her made the tiny candle of hope that was still burning inside Juvia grow bigger, making her think just possibly that Gray-sama could feel something for her... Juvia can not be so silly, he probably just doesn't want any bad blood between nakama as we may have to work together on missions in the future.
Juvia did not move, frozen in mid stride. Juvia was afraid that if she moved Gray would remove his hand from her wrist and this was the closest contact that they had shared, it was almost intimate. His cold fingers sent a cool chill up Juvia's arm that she enjoyed immensely, and she was not going to be the one who broke this contact first.
"Look at me please, Juvia."
Juvia felt her body respond to the tenderness and warmth in Gray-sama's voice. Even though she did not want to move she found herself facing the man she truly loved. To Juvia's surprise the hand stayed on her arm, keeping her from running away again. It was almost as if Gray-sama was afraid Juvia would disappear if he let go...
"Gray-sama," Juvia's voice was but a whisper and surprised her at its weakness. He always did this to her, he always made her weaker than she was but at the same time so much stronger. It was one of the many things that confused Juvia. "You should let go of Juvia now." The words were painful to say but she knew they needed to be said. She couldn't bow to him anymore.
Gray's expression shifted and he almost appeared hurt which just made Juvia's heart ache. She didn't want to hurt him but she couldn't stand the pain anymore, it was him being cruel, not her! "Juvia, I..."
"No!" The word burst from Juvia's mouth before she realized it. She didn't want to hear what he had to say, at least if he didn't say how much he disliked her than she could hold onto some hope of romance, some hope of her beloved returning her feelings. "Juvia cannot listen to this," she could feel the tears threatening her but she knew she had to do this, Juvia had to be strong. "Gray-sama is too cruel."
"Cruel? But..."
"Stop! Juvia cannot take this anymore," her heart felt like it had stopped, curled up into such a tight ball that it had imploded on itself. She knew what words she had to say, but those she could not speak. So, Juvia decided to give into the weakness which was a one-sided love. "What... What will it take for Gray-sama to love Juvia? Juvia loves him so unconditionally, with all of her heart... But Gray-sama is so cold to Juvia, does he really hate her so much? What will it take... What does Juvia have to do to make Gray-sama love her!?" Juvia's tears were falling freely now, she had given up on trying to hold them back. What did it matter anyway? She'd already given up, she may as well have been begging for her life, what did a few tears hurt?
*Gray's p.o.v*
After I'd congratulated Mira and Freed on their engagement I decided it was time for another drink before calling it a night and going home. There was a mission I had my eye on that I wanted to take tomorrow and being hungover and tired would not be a good idea if I wanted to stay alive.
"A beer." I told the bar man before turning to survey the rest of the guild while I waited. Mostly everyone was still crowding around the happy couple, patting them on the back or squealing over the ring, but then I spotted her sat at a table slumped over a drink looking fairly depressed. It made my heart twitch a little to see the usually bubbly mage so down especially at a party where she should be having fun and enjoying herself, so I forgot about my drink and headed in her direction. I was sure there was something I could do to bring back that wonderful smile of hers.
"Why so blue? This is something to celebrate." I asked, as I approached her and took a seat next to the woman. Juvia truly looked amazing tonight and I'd had a hard time trying to control myself, she really was a beautiful woman in every way. She was a powerful mage, smart and had the looks of a super model, any man would be lucky to have her, yet for some reason unknown to anyone but herself, she had chosen me as the man whom should receive her affection.
"Juvia knows that, she just feels a little jealous is all." Juvia breathed, staring into her half empty glass. She didn't even bother to look up at me, it was as if the woman had given up hope.
"I don't see anything to be jealous of." I replied with a shrug. I really didn't see any reason to be jealous, sure I was happy for my friend but why would you be envious of them?
Juvia turned her gaze toward me now. Finally some response from her.
I saw tears springing to her eyes as if something I had said was upsetting her. Oh crap what had I done now?
"Well Gray-sama is just cold to that sort of thing isn't he." Juvia snapped, downing the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Juvia has had enough of always been rejected by you or having her advances ignored, she gives up. Juvia is going to find herself a man who will actually care for her." Juvia slammed her palms down on the table top, pushed her chair back, gave me a hurt glare and proceeded to march away in the direction I had just come from, the bar. I sat there in shock as everything sank in, Juvia had snapped at me. She had really lost her temper, it was the first time I'd ever seen her like that, since she'd joined the guild.
'Juvia has had enough of always been rejected by you or having her advances ignored, she gives up.'
Her words rang through my head, and everything seemed to go out of focus. My heart was pounding in my chest as if I had just heard the most unbelievable words ever. This was the same feeling I had had after I lost Ul, after she had sacrificed herself to save me. I'd known for sometime now that I had feelings for Juvia, but I had never acted on them. The reasons why were simple really, there were 2 main ones .
1, I thought she might have been somewhat faking her emotions for me. It wasn't that I thought she was fickle I just worried she was one of those girls that fell in and out of love easily...so far that hadn't been the case.
2, Every woman I have ever loved has died trying to protect me and I didn't want to get close to anyone like that again. I couldn't bare to lose another person who I loved, it would destroy me.
So I had done the only thing I knew how to keep my heart safe, I kept her at arms length. But as I'd spent more time with her, gotten to know her more and see every side of the woman, I had slowly but surely fallen in love with the blue haired beauty. Even though I knew I loved her I had still tried on several occasions to get the water mage to give up on me...though none of those plans had worked. It seemed every time I tried to get her to move on, it only added more fuel to her desire to be with me. In a twisted way it had proved to me just how serious she was about me so had removed any doubts from my mind that she was a fickle person who fell for any and every guy. Although it had also frightened me as it meant she might die in an attempt to save me, so after the grand magic games I'd shot her down flat in one last attempt to break her feelings for me. It hadn't worked.
Though the pain I was currently feeling over just hearing her say she was going to move on was unbearable, making me glad none of my plans had been successful. If this was how I was feeling over simply hearing her saying those words, how would it feel to actually watch her be happy with another man?
I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her!
That thought, that moment of clarity made my mind up. I didn't mind loving Juvia, being with her, being hurt by her, as long as I was with her I would bare any pain. The only pain I refused to bare was losing her to another person, seeing her love someone else, be happy with someone else. No I had to be with Juvia, me and only me! I shot out of my seat and started after her.
"Juvia, wait." I called out. Hoping she would stop and forgive me for always being so cold to her. She didn't stop and that fact seemed to nail home to me that she was serious about what she'd said. I'd never known Juvia ignore me like this before...I felt my heart constrict more. Oh no what have I done?!
"Juvia." I spoke her name as if it were a prayer, as I reached out and caught a hold of her wrist. This caused her to halt in her tracks, though she did not turn to face me. The feeling of her warm skin under my cold palm, sent a wave of weird electric like shocks up my arm. For a moment neither one of us moved, it was almost as if we were both afraid the contact between us would break or the other would pull away. If I was Lucy, I'd swear it was like we were under a magic spell and the room had disappeared leaving just us two alone. But I'm not into that romance novel crap...
"Look at me please, Juvia." I pleaded, trying to convey in my tone just how much I needed her to turn around and face me. I felt my heart skip a beat as she slowly maneuvered her body around to face me. I did not let go of her arm, I was afraid if I did she would run away again. That thought sent a cold chill down my spine.
"Gray-sama," Juvia's voice was but a whisper, it was so quiet I struggled to hear it above the commotion of the party. "You should let go of Juvia now." I heard those words much clearer, as Juvia's voice had returned to its normal volume. I felt as if a knife had been stabbed into my heart. So much for hoping she'd turn around and kiss me...Not the time to be thinking that Gray, deal with the situation in front of you!
"Juvia, I..."
"No!" The word burst from Juvia's mouth before I could even start to explain how sorry I was for everything. For every rejection, every time I'd hurt her, every time I'd gotten her hopes up then crushed them...Man I really was an ass, what did this woman see in me again?!
"Juvia cannot listen to this," I saw her desperately trying to stop the tears that were dancing in her eyes from escaping. "Gray-sama is too cruel."
"Cruel? But..." I was lost for words. She thought I was being cruel to her, I felt my throat close up. I stared at my fellow fairy tail mage urgently trying to figure out a way to put things right between us. A way to tell her how much she meant to me and a way to ask if she could possibly, maybe, conceivably think about giving me a second chance and us becoming more than just Nakama.
"Stop! Juvia cannot take this anymore," her voice cracked and she looked utterly heart broken. "What... What will it take for Gray-sama to love Juvia? Juvia loves him so unconditionally, with all of her heart... But Gray-sama is so cold to Juvia, does he really hate her so much? What will it take... What does Juvia have to do to make Gray-sama love her!?" Juvia's tears were falling freely now, like she had given up on fighting them. My heart ached to see her like this, but I knew it was my fault.
Her words struck me hard. She didn't need to do anything to make me love her I already did. I know I'd been an ass to her in the past but I hadn't realized how much I had wounded the woman with every rejection...Before I could think it through I reached my arms out and encased the crying mage pulling her to me and holding her head on my chest, holding her securely in place ,one hand buried into her beautiful soft blue locks and the other in the middle of her back. I felt her stiffen in surprise then relax into my embrace, her arms encircled my torso and clung onto my bare back...somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that I had somehow stripped out of my shirt again without realizing it.
"I don't hate you, Juvia." I whispered into her ear, as I gently stroked the back of her hair. "and you don't need to do anything but be yourself, to make me love you, after all that's the person I fell for."
"But Juvia..." she sniffled into my chest, then stopped as the words I'd just whispered dawned on her. She pulled away from me slightly, but only enough so that she could look at me with big watery eyes. "Gray-sama..."
I closed the sort distance between our lips, cutting her off before she could say another word. I'd never been very good when it came to expressing myself with words, in that sense I was very much a man of action. So I'd decided it was time to act, show Juvia what I could not tell her in words. I felt Juvia's lips returning the kiss, her warmth melted together with my coolness as we stayed locked together for what felt like a lifetime, until we had to part for breath.
"Is Juvia dreaming?" She mumbled, her eyes now down cast her cheeks flushed from our encounter. I drank up the sight, I'd never seen the water mage look so cute before, so vulnerable. "Juvia must be dreaming. Gray-sama only ever kisses Juvia like this in her dreams."
I chuckled as I listened to her rambling in disbelief over what had just happened. So she dreamt about us kissing a lot did she...Not that that information was a big surprise, she did have a very active imagination.
"This is no dream." I stated, taking her by the hand and marching us towards the door. I'd noticed several nosy friends of ours gawking at the scene we'd just put on and I didn't think either of us wanted to deal with the reactions that were about to erupt within the guild hall. We could deal with that in the morning, for now I just wanted to keep Juvia all to myself.