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Chapter 5

Father lined them up for the royals' arrival. Jaime would be presented first as he was the heir, even though she was older. They heard the horses and carriages. The kingsguard escorted a carriage.

Jaime gasped when he saw The knights in white. Tyrion was also impressed, he disagreed with his leathers. It was the most beautiful summer day. Cersei was not impressed when king Aerys came out of his litter. The king looked like an old man but he couldn't be. Father and him were the same age. King Aerys had long whitish hair, he was pale, thin and his nails were longish and had a yellow hue to them. Her first impression was that her father looked kinglier that the king.

Her lord father bowed and greeted the king. "This is my household your grace." He presented Jaime first and then her.

The king did not pay much attention to her or Jaime. He however took an interest to Tyrion. "So this is the famous Imp of Casterly Rock. The monster that ripped beautiful Joanna apart." The king gave Tyrion a nasty smile. Her baby brother just kept his eyes on the floor. Father looked briefly bothered but soldiered on. Once all of her uncles and aunts were introduced the party moved to the castle. Cersei stiffened and concentrated on Rhaegar. Cersei wanted to see the prince.

She was unlucky, as the prince arrived the following day and was escorted to his quarters without any public fanfare. Cersei followed the routine of the previous day and prepared to wake Tyrion but he was already awake.

"We will have the best seats." Cersei said cheerfully.

Tyrion nodded and gave her his hand. She knew that the king's comments cut him deeply. He heard the term Imp before but only from small folk, never from a lord, much less the king himself.

Cersei watched the melee with some disgust but Tyrion seemed to enjoy the violence. She shook her head. The king looked bored and talked to her father in a hurried way. Cersei looked to the side and saw him. Prince Rhaegar. He was absolutely beautiful. His hair was long but white blond. His eyes were lilac and he wore a small smile when he addressed his father. She did not hear his voice but she knew it was beautiful like the rest of him. Cersei was distracted from then on. She tracked him throughout the tourney. She was in love and knew that he would be hers.

Tyrion tugged at her sleeve. "Cersei, father will be upset if we do not go for the feast." Cersei nodded and they walked to the high table.

Jeyne and Melara caught up to her. They were her companions, well father insisted on them. Cersei did not care much for either of them. She particularly disliked Melara, who thought she would marry Jaime. How dull she was. Melara could not marry her brother, she was too lowly for that.

"There is a witch that can tell our future." Jeyne began.

Cersei frowned, "I already know my future." She said confidently.

"She is too scared. We will go by ourselves." Melara taunted.

"Fine, I will go with you." She said quickly.

The king made some japes at Tyrion's expense that night. Father excused her and Tyrion. "I feel a little sick. I am sure Tyrion is exhausted with today's excitement." Father nodded and they left. Cersei forgot about the prince and held Tyrion that night.

"You are the smartest boy I know." She said as she combed his hair that night.

"I don't want to go to my quarters. Can I stay with you Tyrion?" She said gently.

Tyrion shrugged, "it is fine Cersei. I know what I am. You do not have to stay." Cersei nodded. "I will get my nightdress and come back." She had planned to go with Jeyne and Melara but decided against it. Tyrion needed her.

Jeyne and Melara awaited for her, "Why are you in your nightdress? We have to go through the woods to find the witch?"

"I am not going." Cersei said and stepped aside.

"What a coward." Jeyne said in turn. Cersei could not care a fig about what the girls thought. All she cared about was the hurt in Tyrion's eyes.

Cersei came back and found Tyrion reading about dragons once again. "Cersei, tell me about mother?"

Cersei smiled, "Well, you know she had blonde hair, was kind, and she was tall, almost as tall as father. She was a proper lady and she made father smile."

Tyrion nodded, "tell me about her eyes." He said.

"They were green, but not like mine or Jaime's. Hers were like your green eye, bright beautiful emerald green." Cersei said happily.

Tyrion began to cry. Her baby brother did not cry easily. Cersei hugged him tight. "The king said that I ripped her apart. She was good and I'm a monster, I killed our mamma."

Cersei shushed him and caressed his back. "Mamma loved you very much. You were just a baby Tyrion. You did not kill her, I promise you."

Tyrion cried softly, "father hates me. I know he does and I thought it was because I'm little but I think it's also because I killed her. You said she was the only one that made him smile."

Cersei kicked herself for saying that. "Father loves you in his own way. He is stubborn and stupid for not loving you like I and Jaime do."

Tyrion sobbed and then quieted. Cersei sang to him and made sure to tell him that she loved him and that mother loved him very much even if the world did not.

She was a ball of excitement by the last day of the tourney. Prince Rhaegar defeated many knights, her uncle Gerion included. Jaime did quite well for a squire and her father was proud of that. Jaime went away that day before the tourney ended as he had to go to Crakehall and then King's Landing. Tyrion hugged Jaime tight. "I will be back before you know it."

That same night, prince Rhaegar delighted the Lannisters with his harp. Cersei thought it was the most beautiful thing she heard and seen. She cried of happiness that night. She dreamed of their wedding.

The final day of the tourney finally came. Cersei and Tyrion watched as prince Rhaegar tried to unhorse ser Arthur Dayne. He failed. Ser Dayne crowned his sister Ashara the queen of love and beauty. Cersei thought that Ashara was pretty but not so much as her.

The feast was a grand affair. Father looked dour and unsatisfied while the king looked very cheerful. Cersei waited anxiously for the announcement that would never come. She thought clearly that it would come after supper but nothing. She looked at aunt Genna intently and she seemed as confused as she was. Cersei did was intrigued and tried to catch father's eyes but she was left with nothing.

Cersei went into bed that night and waited for aunt Genna. She never came. Cersei did not sleep well. She thought of every single possibility. The engagement would be announced in the capital. Maybe father wanted her to grow up a little more. It made no sense. Cersei had her moon blood regularly now. She would not marry now; everyone knew that they would wait until she was seventeen. She would have to be in court for at least a year before the small folk and lords saw her as a princess. The wedding in itself would have to be planned and that would take another year.

The royals left the following morning and there was no understanding. Cersei went in search of her father. Aunt Genna actively avoided her now. She knew because she went to her quarters and she made the maid say that she indisposed.

Cersei had to take matters into her own hands. She knocked on the door and entered when there was no answer.

"What is it?" Father asked without looking from his work.

Cersei stood high and proud, "Why wasn't my engagement to prince Rhaegar announced?"

Tywin looked up at her, "because there is no engagement to be made. I offered your name and the king refused your hand. We are not suitable enough for the prince."

Cersei felt the world tilt. She paled, "but I am to be queen."

"Not right now Cersei. Go find some useful employment. I am far too busy to entertain you." Her father hissed.

The girl ran out of there and went into her quarters. She wept, Cersei did not understand. She thought of the past days and could not find a fault. She was perfect, it all was good but the king refused her. Maybe she needed to be bolder, maybe she had to go to prince Rhaegar and made him love her.

Cersei cried into her pillow. It was all ruined. She would never be queen. Cersei wept and refused to eat her lunch. Tyrion came to see her and he tried to comfort her. "Cersei, please tell me what happened."

Cersei shook her head; she was ashamed to tell him. He would think that it was because of him. Cersei could not tell him because she was afraid. She was scared that if she said it out loud it would be true. A horrid, a truly horrid part of her believed that it was because of her Tyrion. She felt pain and would not let herself think that.

"Nothing Tyrion. It's nothing, just be good for me and give me a kiss." Tyrion did, he kissed her forehead. "I'll stay with you, you can cry all you want and I will hold you."

Cersei nodded and cried bitterly. Tyrion tried to sing to her and she smiled when he made funny lyrics. "I wish Jaime were here." She said. "I wish we all were together and mother were here with us."

Tyrion played with her hair, "me too." But Cersei knew that he only said that to make her happy. She knew that Tyrion did not remember their mother and that he did not care for Tywin Lannister.