After this you are caught up to me. Thanks for reading and comments.
All Character belong to Shonda
Chapter 5
Callie hadn't spent most of the night awake wondering what had happened with Arizona. Her mind spinning at the questions that she didn't have answers for. Callie knew that there was one way to find out what happened. It was her one shot. It was 5:45 am and she was hoping that her page hadn't gone unnoticed.
There was a knock at the door and then the person she had been waiting on entered the room. "Hey." She smiled with a nervous look on her face.
Mark returned the smile. "Hey, I just got the page."
"Sorry, I asked them to page you. I know that it's early, but I needed to talk to you."
"Don't worry about the time I have a surgery at 6:30, so I was here. What's up?"
"Arizona told me that you were my best friend. That we told each other everything."
"We did." Mark smiled, lowering his head laughing. "Girl, we were crazy. I think it was the women in our lives that drove us that way." Mark looked up at Callie. "You were the one person that I could always count on to have my back and tell me like it is."
"And that is what I need from you."
"Callie, I am not sure that I am the one that you need….."
"I know." Callie said interrupting him.
Mark looked at her curiously. "You know?"
"I know that Arizona and I were together. I know that I loved her apparently and that somehow she was in Africa and I was here. I know that she went without me."
"Oh." That was it. That was all Mark could say. "So what is it you need from me?"
"I need for you to tell me. I want you to tell me what I said to you when she left and after she was gone."
"Look Torres, you may need to just wait on some of this stuff for now."
"So you aren't going to help me?"
"I didn't say that."
"You said that I need to wait. I can't wait. She walks in this room and I want to be near her. She leaves and I miss her. She is here and I am calm and feel safe. So why did she leave me?"
"You loved her, Callie, but everyone especially her knew that you didn't want to go. You made that clear."
"What did I do?" Callie was almost afraid to know what she had done.
Mark told Callie everything. He explained about the grant and the way Callie had acted the whole day they were leaving. He had even told Callie that Arizona wasn't really fond of him, and about their date. That Arizona was trying for her. Mark didn't go into Callie's past, but explained that she hadn't been the luckiest in love until Arizona. That her and Arizona were the stable couple. They one everyone wanted to be.
Callie listened with complete concentration not wanting to miss a word he said. He had also laughed and told Callie that Cristina had cut her hair post break up. They laughed at how no one could believe Callie let Cristina do that. They had taken the bandage off last night and you could now see Callie's shorter hair.
Mark looked at his watch. "Damn, Torres. I gotta go."
"Thanks for talking to me."
Mark leaned over and kissed the side of her head. "Your welcome. I have missed our little talks. I'll check back on you when I am done."
Callie smiled and thanked Mark as he walked out the door. Callie also realized that it was now after six and Arizona had usually came by before now. She thought that maybe Arizona was mad at her. Callie decided that she would watch some TV hoping her favorite visitor would soon show back up.
Arizona's POV
"Damn it! Suction! Damn it, where is that blood coming from." The sounds of the alarms began to ring out through the OR. "He's coding." I fought quickly to place the paddles around the little boys heart. "Clear! Come of Levi! Charge again. Clear!"
After three attempts at saving the 3 year old little boy, I gave in to reality. "Time of Death 6:10."
I lowered my head. It was always a feeling of complete incompetence when a child dies in your hands. The tiny coffins are sure to invade your dreams tonight. I barely had time to catch my breathe when Alex came bursting. "Dr. Robbins, it's Micah."
Alex and I ran out of the OR and to the room of Levi's two year old brother. My mind was racing. 'No…no….no. This can not happen. These people can't lose two of their sons. Not today. Not on my watch.'
We arrived to Micah's room and Jackson was doing the code on him. He had stopped just as I came into the room. "Why are you stopping?" I ran over to the bed and started compressions myself."
"Dr. Robbins, I did everything I could."
"Well that isn't good enough, Avery." I did compressions for as long as I can remember.
Until I was lost in what had happened this morning.
I had been paged at just after four this morning. There was a family traveling home for the holidays and had wrecked. There was four children in van, but Micah and Levi were the worst of the injuries. Levi had a piece of the other vehicle that punctured his chest. It was always hard to tell a parent there child was gone. Only a few times had I ever had to tell a family they had lost two. I had lost two small children this morning and it was only 6:25.
Callie's POV
It was almost 6:45 and I hadn't heard from Arizona yet. I just knew that she was mad now, she was never this late and I had asked about her and knew she was in the hospital. There was a knock at the door and I hoped…..
A man that I hadn't seen before walked in. "How are you?"
It was obvious to me that he was a Doctor. "I am better thank you."
He sat down beside my bed. "I am Richard Webber. I am the chief of staff here. I just wanted to check on you. I haven't had a chance to come by until now."
I could tell that something was wrong. "Is there a problem?"
"I have been told through the grapevine that Dr. Robbins told you a little about yourself."
"You mean that we are together?"
"Yes. Look, I don't talk relationships with my people. If they talk to me then we talk, but for me to search someone out, it doesn't happen."
I was trying to stay with he was trying to say. "Ok. So what's wrong?"
"I just wanted you to know that the day you were to leave with Robbins, I may have made this a little worse."
"You? You are my boss how did you make anything worse."
"I really wanted you to stay so I told you I had these big plans and for you and Ortho."
I chuckled. "I am not sure but I don't think that had anything to do with what happened."
I listened to another person explain to me the dynamics of my relationship with Arizona.
He told me, just like Mark, of how I acted the day Arizona left. He sat with me and told me stories about some of the work I had done. I didn't know if I was a very confident or just really good at my job, but either way I loved the stories that he told me. When his pager sounded he said his goodbyes and started to make his way out of the room. "I just wanted you to know something. Two weeks after Robbins took the grant, I received a phone call from her. She was miserable. A crying mess on the phone. They were going to replace her at her request. Seems she missed her girlfriend and wanted to come home."
"So she was already coming home?"
"She swore me to secrecy. When you had your accident, Arizona was two days away
from returning anyway." He smiled at me. "She was coming home for you. Just thought
you may want to know that."
"Thank you." I returned his smile and he walked out the door.
She was coming back for me? So she wasn't here because of the accident. She was really
here because she loved me. I was happy to know that, but it was now 7:30 and still no
Arizona.
Arizona's POV
"I am so sorry. We did everything we could." I said to the young parents that were screaming at the lost of their sons
I stood there and watched them, waiting to answer any questions they may have. As Alex and I stood there, the young couple couldn't even form a sentence. When I knew there was nothing else I could do, Alex took them to see their sons. Me? I found the closest private spot I could. Before I knew it, I was tucked away in a supply closet. Everything all came at once. I had stood in this supply closet with Callie discussing the problems she was having with her father, Callie was hurt, she didn't even remember who I was, and it was now 8:00 and I had already lost two tiny humans.
I slid down the wall of the closet until I reached the floor. My knees were raised to my chest and became a place to lay my head. I cried so hard. I cried for Levi and Micah, for me and for Callie. It was a bad day already and my day was just starting.
Callie's POV
I continued to flip through the channels on the TV, when something on a local channel caught my eyes.
The announcer spoke. "Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital, home to some of the finest most influential Doctors in the country. Several months ago, a gunman roamed these halls leaving eleven people dead and even more injured." I was now in shock. It was defiantly this hospital, my friends, and Arizona running across the screen. I continued to watch as the announcer said "Today we visit the survivors, their patients, their triumphs and their disappointments. This is Seattle Medical. Road to Recovery."
"A gunman?" I said out loud. "Survivors?"
My shock stopped as I saw a familiar face. I couldn't help but laugh at Lexie as she fought security guards in enter the hospital. I could believe as I saw one of the doctors show off his bullet wound. I was amazed that a shooting took place here. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face as I saw Arizona. It was the first time I had seen her today. I learned quickly that she was amazing in her job. I only thought I was attracted to the person that had been visiting me, but this Arizona, the doctor, was completely stunning.
Those blue eyes as she talks were lighting up the screen. I smiled again. I could see why I was attracted to her. Arizona, in her element, was breathtaking.
"Wait." I said out loud, there I was. I was slightly embarrassed for a moment. There I was. Me, Mark and Derek. The other red haired man I didn't know. I laughed as I watched me rolling my eyes at Mark, Derek and the other Doctor at talk of being Medical titans.
I smiled again as I saw Arizona. I was watching my life in front of me. I was going to see some of my reactions for myself. What I saw next shocked me.
"Yeah, I haven't told that many people yet." Arizona smiled at the woman.
"A Carter Madison grant? Nobody wins those. I mean nobody normal. Just sort of those brainy scientist types who are from Germany and Sweden. Oh My God, you won! Are you kidding?" I watched the woman be very excited for Arizona.
"No, she's not kidding." As I watched myself turn my head away, that was the first time I saw it. The worry or resentment or something. I continued to watch.
Now the camera was solely on Arizona. "No I didn't apply for the grant because of the shooting. There are major medical gaps in the care of children in developing countries."
You could see the pure excitement on Arizona's face and the sparkle in her eyes as she continued to talk. "With this grant I could change that. Well I applied for this grant two years ago. I was a completely different person. You know….I was new here." You could see the expression on Arizona's face start to change. "A surgical fellow. Single." Arizona demeanor was now just uncomfortable. I almost lost my breathe as I saw Arizona and I walking hand in hand as Arizona spoke. "But now I have people here. Important people" I smiled at the sweet kiss that was exchanged between us. "Which complicates things. But-this is bigger than me. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. So yeah, of course I am excepting the grant. That just means I am moving to Africa."
I watched as Arizona took a deep breath. It was obvious that she was very torn, but excited at the opportunity to help children. It was also obvious that she truly loved her job and those children. "Damn commercials." I laughed.
Most of the people I had seen. It was nice seeing me in my life. I anxiously waited for the commercials to be over and was glad when they were. I don't know this Jackson Avery, but him eating that candy bar nervously while on camera made me laugh. 'Oh my god' I thought and laughed out loud as I listened to a Doctor named Alex sing in a overhead mic for a little girl having a scan done.
I watched as Alex opened the door my heart broke. Arizona and I were fighting. "I am just saying, I thought you would at least be happy."
"I Thought we were happ…"
Alex interrupted mine and Arizona's arguing. "Umm, should I come back?"
"Um, no whatever. We are done." I watched myself toss the chart on the table toward
Arizona. Then came the speech.
"Well it's her decision. It's an incredible opportunity really. I mean you don't just turn down a Carter Madison grant. No body turns down a Carter Madison grant. I mean I…I know that. I understand that, I do. I mean if the situation were reversed…..uh…..actually no. You know what, no. If the situation were reversed, I would turn the thing down. I wouldn't even consider moving to another continent right now." Then I show the struggle on my face and the pause to put my words in order. "But I am not her. Like I said, it's an incredible opportunity." A watched the obvious fake smile come to my face. The picture was slowing coming together.
I watched as Arizona gave a young mother the news that her daughter wasn't doing well.
I saw the compassion in her eyes and on her face. Arizona loved what she did. I then listened as Alex talked about being shot at point-blank range. That day must have been terrifying for everyone. I can't imagine being in that hospital with Arizona and a shooter walking around. I still was having a hard time believing this was our lives.
I laughed again at Lexie arguing with the guards about medical history being made and setting the alarm off. I had to admit, I loved seeing us in surgery. I watched with pride as I attached the arms. I then watched as Richard spoke about Arizona with such pride. I caught myself smiling again, as I was also proud somehow. I watched as Teddy screamed to open the fucking door. The doctors here seemed to really love what they do and care about their patients. As a Doctor here I was impressed with my colleagues and felt more comfortable as a patient. They truly were some of the best of the best.
I then heard Mark talking to me during surgery. "So what's the big deal? You'll visit her, she'll visit you. It's just a plane ride."
I watched as I looked at him and responded. "Um, can we not talk about this right now."
Then as I said "We have picture and no sound." Quickly walking over to fix the problem during surgery. I was fascinated by this show.
"Everybody shut up." I chucked at my demand. Then was elated when the surgery was a success. I also had to admit that I was really liking this Miranda Bailey Doctor too.
It was obvious that Arizona had a wonderful sidekick in Alex. It was so sweet to see him sleeping in the little girls room. Cristina had said that I had brought her back to medicine during the accident, but I saw what took her out. She seemed really messed up from all that had happened.
As the show was coming to an end, I saw Arizona and I at home. The smile that I gave her. You could just see how much we loved each other. "I can't believe it. The big move to Africa is really just around the corner." I giggled at the pink hat Arizona had on.
I watched myself and saw that smile again. "Yes, I would say things are better between us now. And yes we worked it out even with Arizona moving to Africa. It was pretty simply actually. I am going with her." I knew what happened next, Mark had told me.
I saw Cristina sit in front of the camera. "Well, We went through the scariest thing a person can go through and we survived. So now everyday is just a gift. And we are all just blessed." Arizona and I came across the screen again. "Bless to be here." We were so happy. "Bless just to be doing what we do best, which is saving lives. Everyday, one life at a time." The last thing she said was "Being a hero has it's price." I realized that it did with me and Arizona. We paid a very high price.
Arizona's POV
"What in the hell is going on?" I screamed as I ran the third code of the day. It was now 2:00 and my day was set on getting worse. After working the code for several minutes, I heard the beep of the heart monitor signaling a pulse. I quietly thanked what ever higher power had brought this girl back. I remember Bailey telling me when I first started here, as she cried, "I want off this case. I want off this case." Today-today I felt that way. I just wanted to go home. Immediate sadness came over me as I though of what I would really like. To be at home with Callie. Being able to walk into her open arms and for her to kiss everything bad away. Not since my birthday, since Wallace, had I felt this over whelmed.
Once the little girl was stable, I left the room. Alex was right behind me. "Dr. Robbins?"
I turned to face him. "What Karev?"
"Maybe you should lay down. You are physically and emotionally drained right now. Not to mention that it going on 2:30 and you have yet to have lunch."
"Thanks Karev, but….."
"Maybe go down and see Callie. She always seems to cheer you up."
"Not today."
"Lexie called from downstairs and said that Callie had been watching TV all day."
"Good. At least something is occupying her."
"She said that she has watched that special twice today."
"The one on us?"
"Yes. You know they got it playing on that damn hospital channel a million times a day."
"I can't. Not now." I walked away and headed for the on call room. I had just entered the room and sat on the bed when my pager sounded. "Damn it!" I grabbed my jacket that I had taken off, and headed out the door. I was on my way to answer a 911 page to the emergency room.
The 911 pages to the emergency room have a tendency to make a good day bad. I couldn't wait to see what it was going to make a nightmare of day like.
Callie's POV
It was now 6:00 in the evening and still no Arizona. I had really done it this time. I must have really made her mad. There was a knock and my door opened. I didn't need any introduction to my visitor. I had watched him three times today on television.
"Hey." He smiled. "I'm Alex."
"Yeah, I have seen you a couple times today."
"You should stop watching that thing." He laughed under his breathe.
"I was just hoping that it would trigger something. Anything." I noticed the look on his face. I didn't know him, but I could tell something was wrong. "Are you alright?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about Robbins."
"Oh. Umm, yeah."
"I mean I know she hasn't been up her today."
"And I assume by the look on your face that you are aware of way?"
"We have had an awful day in peds. It is cold and snowing outside. People are traveling home for the holidays and it just makes everything a mess. Most of the times, we save them. Today-today we lost four. Four children. Two basically babies still."
My heart broke for the loving and devoted Doctor that I had seen today. I knew that Arizona must be devastated too. "I am so sorry, Alex."
"Thanks. It's just that Arizona was called in at four this morning over a three car pile up. Callie, we lost two boys within minutes of each other just after six this morning. Two brothers. One in surgery and the other the minute Arizona came from calling the time of death on his brother. Callie, she did chest compressions on a two year old until she had sweat running from her head. I had to get behind her, put my arms completely around her and actually lift her away from that bed. That's why she hasn't been here. We have been slammed with dying children today. We haven't even had lunch today. Arizona is a very composed mess."
"What can I do?"
"She is coming here to see you. I am sure she will. When she does just know that, as a
Doctor, she probably just had the worst day of her life."
"Ok. Thanks for telling me."
I watched Alex pick his coat back up off the end of the bed. "I gotta go. I just- I just need out of here for tonight." He smiled at me. "But now that you know who I am, I'll come back and see you."
"Thanks." I returned the smiled and watched another visitor that wasn't Arizona leave my room.
Arizona's POV
"Bailey, I can't believe you have drank the whole bottle." I looked at the empty bottle of Brandy.
"Look, after Mary died, I just couldn't stop."
I sat on the couch next to Miranda and Teddy. I laid my head back as Teddy softly spoke.
"Go see her, Arizona."
A single tear ran down my face. "I can't. I just can't take her not knowing me. Not today."
"Her just being in the room has always made you feel better. Just try. You need something. And that something is upstairs and has probably waited on you all day."
"I just can't." Arizona said as she left the room.
Callie's POV
It was now 8:10 and I had officially given up on Arizona. I knew that with a day like today, I was the last thing she needed. She wasn't coming. I got comfortable in my bed and was now looking for something else to watch on television.
Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door and when it opened my heart rose and then sank at the site of visibly devastated Arizona. I watched as she walked into my room. My eyes never leaving her and she walked in front of my bed and pulled the chair up side the bed. I looked at Arizona with her head hung down and watched as she wiped her latest tear from her cheek.
"Arizona?" She never raised her head. "Arizona, look at me."
She looked up and caught my stare. Her eyes were blood shot from crying. She softly whispered. "What?"
"I know what happened. I know about the kids today. I am so sorry."
I couldn't remember the day Wallace died, but Arizona was that upset again. She was making no sense between crying so hard she couldn't talk and her trying to hold it in. She finally was able to get out, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She stood and grabbed her coat. "I can't stay."
I watched her cross the foot of my bed again and I did something I couldn't explain. "Arizona?"
She stopped and looked at me.
"You are exhausted and devastated. I-I don't want to make you worse, but I will remember and when I do I will remember this moment right now. I will remember if I let the woman I loved walk out that door this way or if I tried to help her." I gently moved over in my bed and raised the edge of the blankets. "Come on."
Arizona looked at me and tried to smile. "You don't have to Callie. I am fine."
"No you are not. What you need right now is for Callie to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be alright." I took a deep breathe. "I am the closest that you have to that. When I remember you, I want to know that in this moment I did everything I could to help you." I patted the bed again. "Come on."
To my surprise Arizona walked toward the bed. She put her coat on the chair and did as I asked. She got into the bed with her back to me as I laid the blanket over her. As I laid them there, I left my arm around Arizona's waist and I gently laid my chin against her shoulder. "It will be better tomorrow. I am so sorry about your day." I whispered into her ear.
We laid there for a moment and I held Arizona as she cried. Not long after I could tell Arizona's breathing had changed and she was finally sleeping. I didn't remember the talk that we had once had about the intoxicating smell of a baby. All I knew was I fell asleep knowing the only intoxicating smell I had ever found was that of Arizona Robbins."