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Chapter 12
There was not much to do as a married lady without a household. Lysa was annoying, moping about the castle and talking to herself. Father stayed in his solar most of the day but had dinner with her. Lysa refused to leave her quarters.
It was at least two months when they received news from the North. Lady Catelyn Stark gave birth to a baby girl. She named her Sansa. Both mother and daughter were in good health. The news was not well received by Lysa who cried night and day.
Cersei frowned at her. Even father noticed that the woman was unhinged.
"I hear you are not with child." He said while having dinner with her.
Cersei shook her head. Her father looked at her unflinchingly.
"It is in your best interest to try once your husband comes back. The Tully girl has a daughter. Catelyn should have been given to your husband. She now will have to wait for the other Stark to grow up and take her or go back to the Riverlands with her child. Winterfell will be Eddard's."
Cersei nodded. She had no intention of going north.
She heard noises outside her chambers. It was the middle of the night. Cersei sat up and saw the figure enter quietly. She was about to yell for help when he spoke
"I did not want to wake you." He said softly.
Cersei lit up a candle and saw him. Ned looked tired and upset.
She smiled at him, "did you know?" He asked her with a frown.
"Pardon?" She blinked at him, completely unaware of his line of thought.
Ned looked at her carefully, "about Lyanna and Rhaegar?"
Cersei looked at him just as carefully. "What about them?" It was best to play stupid.
"Do not play coy. It does not suit you. Howland Reed saw you and her talking. He also saw Lyanna and Rhaegar kissing the day before the final joust." Ned said quickly. So, the game was up, Cersei thought.
Her lord husband continued to speak, "I put two and two together. You saw them in the forest. Your brother and I had some drinks before we arrived. Some of his men explained that you were to be queen. I remembered my father uttering those same words." Cersei looked away. It still hurt to think about that.
"I did, I saw them." Cersei admitted.
Ned rubbed his face. "This war is all a lie. She went willingly. Lyanna ran away. It has to stop."
Cersei frowned, "it's too late for that."
The man frowned, "I am off to the Riverlands tomorrow. Robert has called Rhaegar to combat."
"Come to bed then." Cersei said.
Ned was a little unsteady but followed her.
They were quiet for a bit. "You must love him still." He mused.
Cersei stayed silent. "He will die. Robert will kill him." Ned whispered. His words were cruel and said very coldly.
Cersei stiffened. She could not think of a world where her beloved Rhaegar died. Even after all these years, she sometimes dreamed of Rhaegar. Her young heart had idolized him.
Ned did not speak of any of it the following morning. Jaime stayed in his quarters with Lysa. Cersei bathed and arranged her hair. Ned was ready for break fasting. Cersei led him to the hall. Her father was there with uncle Kevan.
Cersei ate slowly. Ned sat beside her and ate some bacon and then his ale. Father addressed Ned almost immediately, "Hoster has written. Robert will be on the Trident in a fortnight. You are to meet him there. Jaime and you will leave in two days."
Her lord husband looked uncomfortable. Cersei forced herself to smile shyly. She was annoyed that her lord husband would stay more than predicted and also by the fact that he did not want to stay.
Her father and uncle took their leave. Cersei stood up and extended her hand. "We are going to Lannisport." She said and then took him to her quarters once more.
"Those clothes will not do." She said. Her husband had on simple garments but these were of the highest quality and the steel direwolf on his belt buckle did not help either. She grabbed the belt and undid it. She smiled prettily at him while he stared confused.
"We will not be Cersei and Ned. We will be other people." She said and began to undress. Her husband looked away.
Cersei frowned but completely undressed while he stared at the wall. She put on breeches, a rough black tunic and boots. They used to be Jaime's when he was younger. Cersei went to Lannisport dressed as a boy whenever she wanted to be away from the Rock and everyone. She dressed as boy more often now that Tyrion was away. She felt free whenever she went away and no one knew who she was.
She threw Ned his clothes and prepared to bind her hair in a bun. It would change her face. Her husband changed quickly.
Cersei and him walked through the courtyards and slipped through a service gate. Cersei walked purposely to the stables where she took a grey horse and handed Ned a black one. She knew how to ride a horse when it was just Jaime and her. She was not very good but could get by. Her lord husband however was excellent. Cersei had a little trouble leading but they made it to the port. Cersei and him left the horses tied. "They will not get stolen. See, they have my sigil."
Ned frowned when he saw the yellow lion over the crimson background. Cersei did not ask and grabbed his hand. She led him to the market. Ned watched the different spots. "There is so many people."
Cersei smiled, "You should be here for the festivals. There are many more people." They spent the morning and part of the afternoon touring the markets. Cersei had him taste different fruits. Ned had never had some of them. "These do not grow North."
Cersei frowned, "what about trades? And the Eyrie?"
Ned looked at her speculatively and then answered, "my father does not believe in these delicacies. Jon Arryn was not fond of trading with the Lannisters."
Cersei nodded. She remembered father saying something to Jaime about it. "I am surprised your father sent your baby brother East."
"I am too. Father always said that Tyrion would be fostered in the West like Jaime was." She replied as they walked to see the ships.
"You are very fond of him." Ned asserted.
Cersei arched an eyebrow.
Her husband elaborated, "Tyrion."
She nodded, "I thought that he would surely die after he was born. Everyone said so but Tyrion lived. He is very smart; the smartest boy I know."
Ned looked at a ship moving away. "Sometimes I wish I could go away."
It was a family trait then. Cersei did not comment on it. She grabbed his hand and took him away from his thoughts. "We have to eat."
They went to a tavern as the sun set. The couple had a chicken and ale. Her lord husband ate most of it. Cersei tried to eat like the men around her but was unable to do so. It was the only thing that she disliked. The lack of cutlery and ill manners.
Her hair became undone as they went back to get the horses. They found them quickly. Ned helped her mount hers and then they were off to the Rock. It dark and night. Cersei smelled like sweat and horse. She could tell that Ned smelled the same. "We have to bathe."
"You bathed yesterday." Eddard said with a frown.
Cersei grabbed his hand and took him to the underground pools. They were the oldest and farthest away, lest they be seen by the servants. "Wait for me here." She said and scurried to her chambers to get soaps and clean clothes for both of them.
She went back quickly and found Ned where she left him. She fortified herself and began undressing. Her husband turned around. Cersei thought it was a bit ridiculous by then. She did not appreciate father's advice but she could no longer be a virgin wife. He had to take her maidenhead. It was a matter of security. Cersei needed to be practical. Ned would not be rid of her if she were his. Ned could be manipulated. Her father was correct, Rhaegar was not an option anymore. Knowing father, he would sell her to someone else but if she had a child or she were claimed it would be harder. She had to seduce Ned Stark.
Cersei stood by the pool and waited for Ned to turn around. He did not do so. "Turn around. You have to be in the pool to wash yourself."
Her husband undid his tunic but left his breeches. He turned to her and saw her. "You have to drop your breeches." She said quickly.
Ned nodded and did so. Cersei looked at him quickly. "Are you a maid?" She asked. It was silly to apply that word to a man.
Her husband blushed, "No, I, Robert took me to a tavern after my parent and my brother died. It was only one girl. Her name was Wylla."
Cersei came closer, "you don't have to tell me." She said quickly. She was a lady and did not need to know more about his past dalliances.
"I am a maid." Cersei whispered. "You see; I was educated to wait for my lord husband."
Ned's eyes turned a little dark. "My lady, I am not sure what you want out of me." He said roughly.
"I have never been kissed either." She mused and was almost nose to nose with him. Cersei was a tall woman but so was lord Stark.
Ned finally took the hint and kissed her gently. Cersei kissed him back. He deepened the kiss and then she felt his tongue. Cersei touched his tongue with hers and they kept kissing. Ned pulled back and looked at her. "I like kissing you." She said truthfully.
Ned smiled at her and kept kissing her. She felt his arms around her and also felt other parts of him. Cersei tensed a little bit. Her husband took the lead and dipped into the pool.
"We do not have to do anything." Ned said and grabbed a soap.
She nodded, "have you ever loved anyone other than Rhaegar?" He asked her softly.
Cersei frowned, "I never had a conversation with the prince."
Ned looked at her face impassively, "and yet you loved him. You saw him and Lyanna and it broke your heart. You said it yourself last time."
Cersei stayed quiet. They bathed in silence.
"Robert will kill him." Ned said once again.
Cersei felt her heart constrict a little, "you said that before."
Ned watched her and his eyes softened, "he will fall to Robert in the Trident."
"You appear so sure of the outcome. Are you a seer?" Cersei said a little sarcastically. She picked some of it from Tyrion.
Her husband nodded seriously, "I have the gift."
Cersei laughed at him. Her husband offered her a sad smile in turn. "You truly are breath taking."
"Thank you." She said and did not pursue the Rhaegar issue.
They finished washing and then dressed for bed. Cersei grabbed his hand and smiled when a servant saw them.
Cersei looked at him and smiled, "kiss me again." She said while grinning at him. He touched her cheek and kissed her once more. Cersei pressed closer to him. He stopped kissing her and moved to kiss her neck. She liked it, in fact, she wanted more and told him so.
Ned kissed her forcefully then. Cersei was surprised by the strength of it. Her lord husband then touched her breast. Cersei felt her skin prickle and tingles down her center. She moaned and her husband swallowed her moan. "May I touch you?"
Cersei kissed his lips, "you are touching me."
He grinned and shook his head, "you really are a maid." He said and his fingers traveled to the hem of her night shirt.
She felt his fingers dance on her thighs and then dipped to her lady parts. She gasped when he grazed her core. He moved his fingers and touched up and down. "You are wet."
Cersei squirmed, "should I not be?" She asked. She read that a man's thing went inside there but Ned was quite big. He would not fit.
Cersei frowned, "I saw you earlier. I do not think you will fit." Her husband laughed. A real laugh, loud and strange. She was equally surprised when he entered two fingers inside of her and then touched her little button. She forgot about him fitting because she was too concerned with not moaning too loud or embarrassing herself. Her hips moved up on her own accord. Cersei was very confused with her body when she felt herself contract around his fingers. She arched her back and received a kiss on her navel.
His eyes crinkled, "I will fit." He moved to his side and Cersei noticed the tent. "Let me see." She said and moved the sheet away from her husband. "It's bigger than before."
Ned looked at her confused, "it has to, otherwise it will not go in."
"Why?" She asked, he must know.
"I don't know." He said plainly.
"May I touch it?" She said and sat up by his side.
"Yes." Ned replied as she came close and inspected him. Cersei had seen his brothers' before but in passing. Jaime used to pee in front of her when mother was alive. Cersei hated it. She had changed Tyrion's small clothes when he was a babe.
She ran a finger over the length of it. It twitched, Cersei liked the groan that came from her husband. She then cupped his balls. Her husband opened his eyes and watched her with hungry eyes.
Cersei also liked that. She lifted her nightshirt and laid on her side. "I want to know what it is like."
Ned lifted his shirt too. "Are you sure?"
Cersei nodded, "I want to know how it will fit."
"Mount me. It will be easier if you do." He said and Cersei straddled his thighs.
Ned touched her and entered her with his fingers once more. He spread the wetness around her area and then rubbed himself. "I will guide you first."
Cersei was concentrated and followed his instructions. Soon she hovered over him and lowered herself gently, there was some resistance. Cersei felt a pinch and some discomfort and a very strange burning sensation. She was stretched all the way to accommodate Ned and it was not very fun, not like when he put his fingers inside her.
She gasped, "Ned, it hurts." Cersei scrunched her face and tried to move away from him.
Ned held her hands, "can you be brave for me? It hurts but I will make you feel so good. Can you stay still for bit?"
Cersei opened her eyes and saw her lord husband underneath him. He offered her a tentative smile. Cersei nodded and remained still. Her lower legs began to cramp after a few minutes. It was utterly uncomfortable. Cersei began to move and moaned when Ned grabbed her hips once again. He set the pace. Cersei moved again and liked how he felt. Her husband sat up. Cersei placed her arms around his neck and began to move again. "As if you were riding a horse." He kissed her neck.
Cersei moaned because he gathered her hair, pulled and changed the position. She fell on the bed when he attacked her neck with kisses and began to pump inside of her. Cersei gasped once more and felt him increase the pace. She encouraged him. He felt good inside of her. Cersei grabbed his back. Ned was broad. She said that out loud, her lord husband moaned. He liked it. "Ned." She said again. He shuddered over her. Cersei liked when he shuddered, it made her feel powerful. She could make him feel good. He was everything she was not, powerful, owner of lands and owner of his own destiny.
The woman, she was no longer a little girl, Ned made sure of that, lowered her hand to his ass and encouraged him to keep going faster. She felt good, it was nice and then Cersei felt him jerk inside of her. He was a little forceful. Cersei smiled, so this was fucking. She thought that it was nice.
"Did you come?" Ned gasped on the side.
Cersei frowned, "where?"
Ned blinked at her. "Cersei, you never touched yourself? You've never come?"
Cersei blinked at him, "you mean where you touched me?" She blushed and looked away. "That isn't proper. I am a lady."
Ned looked positively like mischievous. "Look at me." He said while touching her chin. Cersei was forced to look at him in the eyes.
"I am going to show you." Ned smiled. He stood up and grabbed a wet rag. Cersei had a basin of water nearby, to wash her face in the mornings. Ned cleaned her and kissed down her belly and lowered mouth to her core. Cersei frowned, "Don't do that." She said but Ned paid her no mind.
Cersei did not particularly like her lord husband kissing her there. She was about to ask him to stop when he sucked on the little button. She moaned and covered her mouth. Her husband stopped. "Don't do that. I want to hear you, it's the way that I learn how to please you." He said and set to work once more. Cersei tensed a bit but he started again. She felt liked him licking at her. She moaned once more and her eyes rolled back when Ned added his fingers too. She felt her legs shake around his neck and then her husband stopped. Cersei frowned at him. He kissed her mouth. Cersei kissed him back and tasted herself, it was the filthy, wrong but felt right when he went back to her core and made her forget.
She knew then, it had been nice when Ned took her but there was now a tension building. It built steadily until she let go. Cersei shook, she felt incredible pleasure, tingles, a weakness and a need for Ned to fuck her. She was coming down from the experience when Ned did. He was hard inside her but it didn't precisely hurt anymore. Her husband moved in and out of her. He whispered against her ear, "that's what it feels like. Now, I want you to come again, I want you to squeeze me tight."
It was as if Ned commanded her. She moaned again and again. Ned increased the pace and she felt herself squeezing around him for the first time. Her eyes opened and she let out a keening sound. She felt Ned collapse, his weight crushing her. He was sweaty and spent. She knew his seed was inside of her once more because there was liquid on the sheets, his spent and a wetness coming out of her. Had she bled again? Ned moved to the side pulled her to his chest. Cersei thought she should fix the beddings but she was tired and slept.