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Chapter 13

No one ever explained fucking to Cersei, at least not like Ned Stark. Serious, and quiet Ned Stark who appeared to not want to leave her bed. They had all of their meals in her quarters. Her father had not asked for their presence in the main hall.

It was their last day together before he was to leave to fight in the war. He pushed inside of her quickly. Ned told her that they were to try as much fucking as they could before he was to leave for war.

Cersei agreed, Ned liked fucking and so did she. "I'll have something sweet to remember if I die."

She remained quiet. He could die, Cersei kissed his lips. "You have to live." She said and grabbed his face to plant another kiss. Ned smiled and moved against her. Cersei knew that her lord husband and her were very compatible in the bedchamber. They learned what they liked amid laughter and blushing. She was the one blushing the most.

Cersei felt the tell-tale signs of her impeding pleasure. She felt as Ned bit her lightly on the neck. He grinned at her from the side. Cersei was breathless but felt satisfied.

They faced each other when there was a knock on the door. Cersei made to stand up when the knocking did not stop. "Let me." He said and put on his breeches.

His demeanor changed, he became lord Stark once more. It was a maid with a letter. Cersei sat up and let the sheet fall to her middle when he came back to bed. He was rigid and started dressing.

"Why are you dressing?" She asked him. There was a seriousness on his face, a silence.

"I'm leaving for Dorne." He said and moved to put on his riding garb and boots.

Cersei knew that it was the time. She needed to be smart about this. He received negative news. She could not read the letter contents. Ned pocketed them before she had a chance to take a look at it. She needed to think quickly.

"Ned, is it about Lyanna?" Cersei asked and tried to look as worried as possible. She tried to think about what would happen if it were Tyrion kidnapped.

Ned looked at her and nodded, "I have to leave Cersei."

She nodded and went to him. She kissed his lips gently. They were almost the same height. He was perhaps a bit taller. "Take care."

He smiled at her gently, his grey eyes looked kind once more, "I enjoyed myself very much."

Cersei smiled too, "I did too. Ned, you have to be smart. You must protect Lyanna, sometimes we have to make hard decisions to protect those we love."

Ned kissed her once more, "I will write to you once I reach Dorne. Your father will keep you safe here. I wanted you to go to the Eyrie. I know how much you care for Tyrion."

Cersei nodded and was truly impressed with his kindness. "I have to stay here for now."

Ned kissed her hands, "not for long. You will go North and your brother will go with you. I promise you." He said.

Cersei smiled again but knew that it would not pass. She was decided to not go North. It would simply not do.

She dressed with a shift and saw her husband off the castle. He was accompanied with the Cragnoman and a very small amount of men. This was a covert operation then.

She went back to her quarters and readied for breakfast. She was not surprised to see father and Jaime arguing on the main hall.

They both turned their gazes to her. Cersei returned the frown, "when did he leave?"

"Earlier, mayhaps three hours ago." She replied and took a seat.

Her father looked at her with barely concealed anger. "Your brother and husband were to leave for the Trident this early afternoon."

Cersei blinked at her father. He never truly cared for her best interests. He cared for his. She needed to learn to care for her own, "he left this morning."

Jaime gave her a look, "Cerse, he's not left for the Trident. Rumor has it that he's gone to Dorne. He left his men to go to the Trident."

Cersei blinked once more, she then started to eat her bacon. "Are you leaving today?" She asked her brother.

"Of course, he is. Why did your husband leave for Dorne?" Her father asked her.

Cersei buttered some of her toast, "I do not know. I assumed he would leave early to gain a head start. You always do when we go to the Capital."

Tywin Lannister's anger was swift, "do not take me for a fool. You have gained his confidence. The maids reported that you are finally deflowered."

Jaime looked uncomfortable, "father, may we please…"

Tywin did not let him finish, "where did he go?"

"Why is he going to Dorne?" her father asked once more.

Cersei pushed her plate away, "he did not say. He did not speak to me. I did my duty and bedded him." She stood up and left the hall.

Jaime followed her to the gardens. "Cerse." He called after her. Cersei sat by a bench and looked at the flowers.

Jaime sat by her, "why did he leave Cerse?"

Cersei looked at Jaime and decided to keep Ned's whereabouts quiet. It would be best if Jaime did not know. He was impulsive, rash at times.

"I don't know." She said and cried a bit because it was the first time she told Jaime a lie about something important.

Jaime nodded and hugged her. "Cerse, did he? Did he hurt you?"

Cersei shook her head, "no he did not. He was kind."

Jaime looked away from her, "you may learn to love him. He is quiet."

Cersei laughed, "he could be. Will you learn to love Lysa?"

Jaime made a face, "never. Father said that she is rather strange."

"She is." Cersei said and changed the subject to Lysa's eccentricities.

Jaime frowned, "I made sure that she will not bear my children."

"How?" Cersei asked him.

Jaime blushed "I did not finish inside of her."

Cersei nodded, "oh, I may be with child."

Jaime frowned, "would you like to be?"

Cersei shrugged, "I do not know. If he dies and I am childless I will back with father and married off to someone else."

"Perhaps you'll marry a king." Jaime said with a smile. "And be queen."

Cersei did not meet Jaime's eyes. "So that is the plan, for Ned to die so that I can marry Baratheon."

Jaime nodded slowly, "one of them. The other one is for Sansa and Catelyn to perish and have you hold the North with Eddard. If Baratheon marries Lyanna."

It made sense but the plans did not appeal to her. "Why does he confide in you?"

Jaime laughed, "he does not. I heard him speaking to uncle Kevan. I can be just as sneaky as Tyrion when need be."

Cersei laughed with him, "our baby. He's not written to me yet."

"He is not our baby anymore. He is a smart young man." Jaime replied.

Cersei nodded, "do you have time for a walk?" They were ignoring the fact that he was off to war once more and this time he could die.

"I always have time for my sweet sister." He said and kissed her cheek. They walked for an hour before a rider fetched him. Jaime was to say his goodbyes.

Father nodded at him. Cersei hugged him tight. "Be careful and come back to Casterly Rock."

Jaime kissed her cheek. "I love you sweet sister." He then mounted his steed and off he was. Lysa had felt poor all day and remained in her quarters.

Cersei awaited letters but none came. She had her moon blood on time as every month. Lysa however was with child. Her father offered Lysa a rare smile after the maester announced the pregnancy. Cersei did not care much to be completely honest. She wanted to know of the war. She wanted letters from Ned. He would tell her. There were battles in the Trident but no major deaths. Robert and Rhaegar were alive, yet to face each other.

There were no letters from Ned. Tyrion wrote to her weekly but he did not have any news of the war. He was well protected in the Eyrie with Arryn and the Royces. They treated him well. The news arrived through uncle Kevan who came back home. She was called to her father's solar.

"Have a seat Cersei." Her father

Uncle Kevan came home with a babe in his arms. A black-haired babe from what she could see. He cried in uncle Kevan's arms.

Cersei sat down, "he is your husband's, a bastard." Father said firmly.

Cersei and Ned were married for seven months now. This babe was conceived before their marriage. He was Ned's, bastards were a threat. This baby was a threat to her unborn children.

"Eddard's sent him to you." Father continued. "He's written to ask you if he may stay with you. He asks that you find it in your heart to take care of him."

Cersei looked at her father, "my lord husband asked. Is there another option?"

"He is to journey North if you so desire. Eddard sent one of his men to transport him if you so wish. Cersei then noticed the man. It was Howland Reed. He would not part from Howland if it were not important. The babe was important indeed.

Cersei stood up and grabbed the babe, "What is his name?" She asked Howland.

"He is unnamed my lady. Lord Stark thought the babe would perish during the journey." Howland replied.

Cersei nodded, "Jon." She said a nod to both Jon Arryn and Joanna Lannister.

Her father looked at her calculatingly. "That boy is not a pet."

"He is not." Cersei said and rocked the small baby. He could not be older than a month or two.

"I forbid you to have him here." Her father said.

Cersei looked at her lord father, "very well father. I cannot ask you to keep me here. I will journey North. Lord Reed, could you procure us a litter?"

"My lady I am to journey to King's Landing and join the fight on the city." Howland replied.

Cersei frowned, "the trident has fallen to your brother and Baratheon." Uncle Kevan replied.

"Your brother set out to King's Landing with your husband. They plan to take it for Baratheon." Her father said simply.

Rhaegar was dead then. Cersei fought back tears. She wanted to cry and cry until her eyes were dry. She forgot that she swore to herself to not shed more tears for the prince.

"I will go North." Cersei said unflinchingly. She knew that father would not agree to such a Journey. It was summer but the roads were filled with thieves and perils.

"Cersei, go to your quarters." Her father said with finality.

"I wish you good fortune." Cersei said to Howland Reed.

"My lady." The man bowed to her.

Cersei carried the babe to her quarters. She needed to concentrate on the babe. If he needed her she could distract herself from the pain of forever losing Rhaegar. The babe smelled and cried mightily. She called for Rae, her hand maid, "Fetch Ilsa from her home. She is to breastfeed this babe." Cersei had the maid bring clean clothes and prepare the tub to bathe little Jon.

Cersei began to unswaddle the child when she noticed that the letter in the cloth. She smiled. Ned knew no one but Howland or a woman would change the cloths.

Ilsa came hurrying. She took Jon and fed him. The babe drank greedily. He was very hungry. Ilsa stayed quiet while Cersei occupied herself with the letter.

Dear lady wife,

If you are reading this letter you have accepted to take care of the child. I am leaving for King's Landing to take it from the Targaryens. The babe is mine blood. He is three months old. Please care for him. I hope to be reunited with you once more.

Ned.

Cersei read it once more. There was something that did not make sense to her. The times did not add up. Ned told her he laid with one woman just before their marriage and that was seven months ago. Three months old. Ned left for Dorne three and a half months ago. This babe was born when he reached Dorne. He was not his. He was Lyanna's and the prince's. Something of Rhaegar's. She turned to the maid.

"M'lady, the babe is asleep." Ilsa said.

Cersei folded the letter and hid it once more. "Thank you. I shall need you to feed him again. I do not think he will sleep through the night."

Ilsa nodded, "my Cora sleeps through the night." Cersei could not care less.

"You will have your old quarters." The woman stood up and tried to leave with Jon.

"He will sleep here." Cersei took the babe and washed him. He woke up and cried.

"You will not sleep while dirty. Is not becoming." Cersei said and washed him.

Cersei watched him carefully and asked him gently, "is your mother alive?"

The babe was fast asleep, "she cannot be. Otherwise, she would not have let you go. You are motherless. Ned needs to think smartly. We'll help him, you'll be a prince my love, come to your right place"

Cersei stood up and carried him down to Ilsa. She then went down to the stables. She found Howland Reed about to mount a horse.

"You must tell him something for me." Cersei said quickly.

Howland Reed stayed quiet but nodded.

"Tell him Jon, the babe, he needs to come to his inheritance. He must find a way to protect him." Cersei finished.