As always thanks for reading. This is a longer chapter, so I hope you don't mind. Hope you enjoy and thanks for the wonderful comments that you left so far.
Chapter 8
Arizona's POV
The sun started to come through the windows of the apartment. I was still awake, laying on the couch. I was turned on my side with my back against the back of the couch. Callie was asleep in front of me. I just watched her sleep. After she had gotten there last night, I noticed that she was exhausted. I got her into the apartment and to come over and lay down. She shook her head. "No I can't go back to sleep to that again." I had told her to just come and lay down and I would lay here with her until she was calm. She had long since been calm, but I just couldn't seem to pull myself away from her. I had actually tried to move once, but Callie had put her arm behind her and rested it over my waist while still sleeping.
Once I had gotten her to lay down, I moved in behind her. I ran my fingers through her now short hair, telling her that everything would be alright. I softly ran my fingers over her forehead and ears. It was a trick in peds. It always seemed to work with children and it did with Callie too. I was now just laying watching her breathe. With every rise and fall of her chest, I remembered how much she loved sleeping next to her. Callie was notorious for being all over the bed, but I never minded. Most nights the only thing that stopped her from rolling from one side of the bed to the other, was my body. I loved that because it meant her body stopped where I was. I loved laying against Callie. Feeling her skin, her breathe on my neck and the warmth that brought. I loved sleeping with Callie.
I knew that it was time to go to work. I slowly moved out from behind Callie. I hated to move and hated even more to leave. I knew that I had a surgery scheduled at 6:45am and after that I would try my best to return home. Suddenly it hit me, this wasn't my home. Callie was to be officially released today. This was her home, not mine. Not I was in the shower, I stood and let the water run over my head and face. The same thoughts I had battled for a month once again took over my mind. How could I have taken for granted a love that was so true and honest, so pure and good, so real that it haunted Callie's pure existence. How could she have let that slip through her fingers? I had my reason, but I made a choice.
I wondered if I had been the one to lose my memories of Callie, would I have even known they were gone. Would I have found her way to Callie's in the middle of the night? Or would I have just went on with my life without her. I let the hot water run over my head knowing I would. I would. I know I would. Who was I trying to convince. I hoped that I would have. I love Callie and I knew that, I just don't know that I realized how much. It was a stupid thing considering what I had done. I did it for Callie. I loved her. Yes, I would have found my to her. I would have.I snuck through the living room, as I folded a piece of paper and left it on the table. I stopped and looked at her again, then knelt down and was face to face with her. She finally looked peaceful. "I will make this up to you somehow. I promise." I whispered, then kissed her on the forehead. I quietly walked out without her even moving.
"I don't know how she got around everyone, Derek. All I know is that I opened the door just as she walked up. I mean anything could have happened to her. She has no clue about anything. About Seattle or were to go."
"I understand, Doctor Robbins and I totally agree. I promise this will be addressed. It is a scary thought for me too. Now as for her being released I am signing the paperwork and releasing her into your custody."
"That's fine. So everything looks ok?"
"She is fine. She will need to come in next week and have the stitches in her head removed, but she is fine. No cause for worry or to treat her with kid gloves, she's fine." Derek finished his charting as Alex walked up.
He looked into Callie's room. "So it's true? Dude, Torres went MIA?"
Derek spoke as he handed the chart to the nurse. "She didn't go MIA, Karev. She simply went home." Derek smiled at me as he pasted me. "Or she went to the person she needed more than this hospital."
I returned his smile as she walked past me. "What's up, Karev? Or are you just here to stare at Callie's room?"
Alex explained the case of a child that had just been brought in. He was a patient of mine for about a year. He was born with a heart defect and was now having trouble breathing. I was excited because I would be working with Teddy and I really needed her advice on something.
I was checking the young boy over when I yelled out. "Where is Doctor Altman?"
The nurse standing next to me answered, "She was called into surgery an hour ago."
"Where's Yang?"
"She's with Doctor Altman."
"So who do we have?" I turned around to ask. It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. "Oh geez." I said just as Erica walked up.
"Glad to see you too, Dr. Robbins, trust me the feeling is probably mutual. So what do we have?"
Needless to say Erica Hahn, before my morning coffee, isn't pleasant. I wish I was still at home curled up to Calliope.
Callie's POV
I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I remembered coming here last night, but the place was dark when Arizona had shown me in. It was a beautiful apartment. Nice and cozy. I stood from the couch and peeked around the corner of the room just in front of me. There was a large bed and a dresser in that room and nothing else. I wondered if that was just a spare room since it seemed so bare.
"Arizona?" I said. There was no answer. "Arizona?" I said again. Again, no answer. This was it. I was alone. Arizona must have left this morning. She will find a hotel, then an apartment somewhere else, and then I am alone. A wave of panic suddenly rose inside of me unlike anything I had ever experienced.
I made my way through the apartment, but noticed a note on the refrigerator. I was immediately relieved.
Calliope,I had to go in for a while. Please, please don't leave. I'll be here you always,
Arizona
I laid the note on the bar and noticed the end tables, one of which held several photos. I picked one of them up. It was a picture of me and Arizona. It looked like a picture from maybe last Christmas. We are both in Santa hats. I put the photo down and moved on to the next one. It was a picture of Arizona and what had to be her family. There was a boy that looked very close to Arizona's age. He looked so much like her. Him and the older man in the photo had on Marine dress blues. There was a woman in the picture that had to be Arizona's mother. She looked just like Arizona and her brother. There was one me with what I remembered where members of my family that were at the hospital when I woke up. I had to admit my sister bared a striking resemblance to a singer I had seen on television over the past couple of days. She was on one of the video channels I had flipped through. What was her name? Oh yeah Jordin Sparks. I was going to have to tell my sister that when I spoke to her again.
The next picture was Arizona and a small child. It looked as if it was taken in the hospital and I was assuming it was a patient. The last one was us again. All of us. I recognized Alex as the groom in the picture. The bride must have been Izzie that I had heard of. In the picture was me, Arizona, Cristina, Mark, Lexie, George, Meredith and Derek. I was immediately drawn to me and Arizona. We looked so happy and, Arizona? Arizona looked stunning. We were all in close to each other and mine and Arizona's cheeks were touching. I put the picture down and walked toward the other bedroom.
The door was slightly opened and I slowly pushed it open. I am sure I looked like I was a prowler in my own home. I looked around the room. Yes this was defiantly the room I had shared with Arizona. It was a small room, but it was also cozy. They was a radio, a stack of CDs and flowers on one dresser. On the other was a pager that I noticed was labeled "Torres"
You could still smell the fragrance that came from the bathroom where Arizona had showered this morning. I stood in the center of the bathroom and closed my eyes. The scent of Arizona's perfume still lingered with scent of Lavender that I could assume was soap. It felt warm and comfortable, familiar and safe. It was a scent that I had no I idea how much I had once enjoyed. That I once would hold Arizona and just love the way she smelled. I was interrupted by hearing someone come through the door.
"Calliope?" Arizona's voice turned to panic. "Calliope!"
I met her in the door frame of the bedroom. "I'm ok." Arizona closed her eyes as obvious relief came over her. "I'm fine. No running away today." I smiled.
"You just scared the shit out of me." Arizona chuckled."I can tell. I'm sorry." Callie looked at Arizona apologetically. "I was just looking around."
"It's your home, Callie. You can look around. You hungry?"
"Sure" I replied.
"I stopped and got us a couple of salads that you always loved and I thought maybe we could go sit in the park a while. I have about two hours before I have to be back, so I thought we could talk."
I involuntarily smiled at Arizona and spoke. "Yeah, I'd love that."
Arizona and I walked through the park and found bench. We sat in silence for a little while just looking out over the city until I spoke. "It's nice here. Way better than that hospital room. Oh and by the way, I am sorry about running out last night."
"It's ok. It's just formalities. Derek officially released you this morning. You just need to have this stitches removed next week, other than that, you are good to go."
"How has work been today, I know that you didn't get much sleep last night."
"It's been ok. Peds is always a emotional rollercoaster, but so far it hasn't been bad."
"I saw the pictures in the room. I assume that's your brother in the photo?"
"Um, yeah. That's Daniel."
"Isn't he a little cutie?" I, once again involuntarily, smiled at Arizona. "He looks just like you." I think she actually blushed.
"Thank you. Yes he was."
Immediate panic came over me. "Was?"
"Daniel was killed in the war three years ago. He was a Marine like our dad."
"I am so sorry. I…"
Arizona smiled. "I know. You didn't know. Daniel, like my father made a career out of the military. I, like our Mother, made mine out of medicine. She was a scrub nurse."
"I wish that I remembered anything about my family. I mean just to add to the conversation." Callie softly laughed.
"Well your father Carlos is a business man in Miami where you are from. Your Mom is a proud house wife and mother. Aria, Aria is good girl. She likes to party a little, but you two were very close. You were always texting each other with the latest adventures in your lives." Arizona put her salad in her lap and started to dig through her bag. "I almost forgot. This came yesterday." Arizona held out a phone. "Your's was damaged in the accident so I called the phone company and had them send you another one. Mark took it home with him last night and tried to set it up the way you had it. He transferred all his numbers that you would need and then added your family's."
"Thank you." Such a simple gift obviously meant a lot to me.
"I told your family that a new phone was coming, so they could keep in touch with you then. Mark put himself in speed dial one." Arizona rolled her eyes. "I let him win on that one, but I am two. So if you need anything just hold the 2 down and it will call me."
"So what now?" I looked at Arizona as she took a deep breath.
"Well, I am going to take to the grocery store and make sure that you have the food you need and then I have to head back to work. I will go after work and find a hotel. I have called about some apartments and I will go look at them tomorrow."
"Don't." That was all I could say.
"Don't what?"
"Don't leave." Arizona looked at me sadly.
"Calliope."
"Don't Calliope me. There is an extra room. I saw it. You can have your room and I will stay in the other. There is no reason for you to leave. That is your home too. Please."
Arizona slowly placed her salad in her lap and turned to in her seat to face me. "I don't want to make things hard for you. I don't want you confused. You have questions about what happened and that it understandable. I want things to go at your pace, Callie."
"This is my pace. I don't want for you to leave your home. I will sleep in the spare room."
"Absolutely not!"
"Arizona, Please." I could actually seen Arizona breaking. "Please."
"Ok. I will only stay if you take our…my…your room and I will take the other." Arizona smiled at her compromise.
"Deal." I smiled back.
"We need to get back. We still have time to stop by the grocery store before I have to be back at the hospital."
"I am ready when ever you are." I suddenly was very excited and was unable to keep it off my face. God, why couldn't I control anything around this woman.
"Alright. We better get going."
Arizona picked up the bag and I followed her away from the park. For some reason some of the panic was gone.
Arizona's POV
I tried to avoid the stares from the nurses and other Doctors. I had heard some of them whispering about Erica and I working together, while Callie didn't know either of us. I just wanted this day over. "How's Callie?"
I looked to see Teddy suddenly walking with me. "Calliope is good." I couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, the smile is coming back. What happened? Do tell."
"Nothing happened, Teddy." I giggled with her like we were two school girls. "Nothing."
"Nothing doesn't get that smile." Teddy gasped. "Oh my god. You slept with her?"
"No! No, she doesn't even know me and she just came home from the hospital. Plus if she did remember…."
"Arizona, give it time. Even when she remembers…have we heard anything?"
"No not yet. The Chief said that he would let me know if anything was said."
"How are you going to handle that?"
"Handle what?" Cristina said. "How's Torres?"
"She's ok.""Just ok. What the hell is with the grinning?"
Teddy hit Cristina. "I know, right. I asked the same thing."
"Spill it, roller girl. You've been getting it on with Torres, haven't you?"
Teddy hit Cristina again. "I said that too!"
"Imagine you two having the same feelings." I spit out.
"Ouch." Teddy laughed. "Harsh much?"
"So?" Cristina raised an eyebrow.
"She asked me to stay. I was going today to stay at a hotel and Callie asked my to stay."
"No sex?" Cristina said disappointed.
"Who's having sex?" Mark walked up.
"Not Tinkerbelle and Torres. She asked her to stay. God when they have sex we will be peeling her off the ceiling."
I looked at Cristina still smiling although I tried to stop. "I would prefer that you not discuss my sex life with Callie, Cristina."
"I second that." We all turned to see Erica standing behind me.
"Did someone speak to you, Hahn?" Mark asked causing everyone but Erica to laugh.
Erica looked at me. "I heard congratulations are in order."
A panic ran over me. "How do you know?"
Callie's POV
I heard a knock at the door so I turned the television off and walked over to see who was here. I opened it to see Mark. "Hey."
Mark walked by me as though he was looking for something. "Hey." Mark said standing just inside the door looking around. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good." I looked at him wondering what was going on. "Can I help you with something?"
"Umm." Mark turned his attention back to me and smiled. "No. I was just checking on you. Just making sure you are alright."
"I am fine." I closed the door and my way to the couch with Mark. As we both sat down I asked. "How's Arizona? I mean I know how she is, but I mean how is she. Is she ok with everything…with me?"
"She's fine. Why?""I know that she probably didn't get much sleep last night. I guess I should have waited until it wasn't 3am to come home.""Believe me she wouldn't have it any other way. She loves you and she wants to help you."
I don't think I did a good job at hiding my worry. "She couldn't have sleep much.""Don't worry about Robbins. She's just glad that you are getting better."
"I hate to I caused so much trouble. It was just crazy last night. I hope that I didn't get anyone at the hospital in trouble.""No. I mean Derek wasn't happy that a patient just walked out, but it would have fallen on Lexie."
"Oh god I am sorry."
"She is fine. Derek just made sure she understood that she was to be more careful….well and that telling you were home was, wasn't the best idea."
"Please Mark, tell Lexie that I am so sorry. I didn't mean to get her into trouble."
"I'll make sure she knows." Mark looked down at his hands as he played with his fingers. "No faces only voices, right?"
"It was weird. Just darkness only voices. Just short ramblings."
"Maybe things are coming back."
"Mark?" I looked at him with what I knew was fear in my eyes.
"Yeah?"
"How mad am I going to be? At Arizona I mean? When I remember. I just need to know."
"Cal-" Marks words were cut off by a knock at the door.
I looked at Mark confused because he jumped up quicker than I did. "Are you expecting someone?" I asked.
"Umm, no." He tried to smile.
I walked around him to the door. I opened it to a young man. "Can I help you?"
"I am looking for a…" He looked at the envelope "a Calliope Torres."
"Ummm, I'm Calliope."
"Cool." He handed the envelope to me. "I just need your signature here, please."
He handed me a tablet and pointed to where I was to sign 'my signature'. Hell I didn't even remember what my signature looked like.
He tapped the pad again and spoke. "Just anywhere right there." He had not clue that I was trying to remember how to sign my name not figure out where the hell to put it.
I quickly just wrote Calliope Torres on the pad. "There you go."
"Thanks." With that he turned and walked away saying "Have a nice day, Ms. Torres."
"Thank you." I studied the envelope while I closed the door. What would be so important that I had to sign for it?
Mark spoke and brought me out of my daze at the envelope. "What you got?"
"Huh?" I said returning my gaze to him. "Ummm, not really sure."
Mark seemed nervous. "Maybe, maybe I can help with that."
"What is going on, Mark? Is this why you're here?"
"No." Mark wasn't convincing me. "No! I came to check on you when I came home for a minute. That's all." Mark looked at my hand again. "Maybe you should wait til Robbins gets home."
"You know what this is." I looked at him seeing through his game. "Why shouldn't I open it? Why don't you just tell me what the hell it say?" Mark didn't speak. "Mark! What is this? Why are you here?"
"Callie."
I looked at the envelope. There was a logo in the top left corner. A logo I obviously didn't know. "Well then I will find out myself."
Mark walked over and tried to grab it causing me to throw my arm back. "Then tell me." I screamed with my free hand planted against Mark's chest trying to hold him off.
"Ok." Mark sighed. "Alright, just give me the letter."
I trusted him and handed it to him. "Please, please. Just wait for Robbins."
Just as he said that, she came through the door. "Hey. I just got your page."
Mark walked passed me and handed the envelope to Arizona. "Here. I am going back the hospital."
Arizona watched him as he walked from the room. "Tell the Chief I will be back in a minute." Mark threw his hand up letting Arizona know he had heard her.
"Someone needs to tell me what is going on. NOW! What you hiding from me?"
"We aren't trying to hide anything, Callie."
Arizona walked passed me and sat heavily on the couch. She looked at the envelope and smiled. She looked up at me and patted the couch. I walked over and sat beside her. "This Callie, this is awesome. We weren't trying to hide it from you. Well not forever. We just wanted to wait. Wait until…..you know….you remember. Remember who you are and what this means."
"What is it?"
"There are many things that you can do in the medical field and get a pat on the back or a 'good job', but this Calliope is rare. This letter is going to tell you that you have won a Harper Avery award."
I looked at her confused. "All this over a award?"
"Callie this is huge. This is the brass ring of awards. This is as good as it gets. You won." She said with such excitement.
I wasn't even sure what I accomplished, but if the look of pride on Arizona's face was any indication, it was a big deal. "So what does that mean."
"There is a big dinner and the awards are given. We just thought that if you weren't….well, able to go, that one of us would go in your place. Like Chief Webber."
I suddenly felt sad. "I won this big award. A rare award and someone else has to go and accept it for me?"
"See, this is why we tried so hard to keep it from you. No one wanted to hurt you over this. We thought someone would go and accept on your behalf and then when you remembered, we would give you the award."
"It's big?" I questioned again.
"It's big." Arizona smiled. "I couldn't be more proud of you. We were going to have a party when you remembered and be all like 'surprise'." She smiled at me and looked back at the letter. "I know. Silly right?"
I couldn't help but smile back as she looked at the letter so proud. "No. It's incredibly sweet." She looked at me. "Thank you. I mean for trying and for protecting me. For sending Mark here to wrestle it out of my hands." We both chuckled. "Thank you." I said softly.
Arizona looked at me with tears in her eyes. "When you remember, when everything memory is going in circles in your head, will you promise me something?"
"What?"
Arizona sat up straight and looked at me. She moved over until our knees were touching. "Promise me Callie that you will remember that I love you." I tear ran down her cheek as she took my hand. "When you remember how that night felt and I can't talk to you, promise me that you will remember that I love you. Please."
"Arizona."
"Callie, I need to tell you this now. Now while you will listen and you aren't angry or hurt. I just want you to know now while I have a chance. Here, just me and you."
"Ok." I really didn't know what to say.
"Jackson, you have met Jackson, right?"
"Umm, yeah."
"His name is Jackson Avery. He is the grandson of Harper Avery."
"This award is the big time and we work with his grandson?"
Arizona smiled. "Yeah. Anyway, he was a fumbling idiot for months after the shooting. He was knocking over trays in the OR and doing things wrong. Before long no one wanted him on their service and scrubbing in for surgery? Well that was just out of the question. He would do anything to get into a surgery. So he came to Teddy…" Arizona cleared her throat. "He asked if he could get in on a heart transplant. She of course, like everyone else, said the OR was full. Teddy started to walk away when Jackson announced as quietly as he could, that he knew something. Something that she would love to know. Curious, Teddy asked Jackson what he was talking about. He explained to her that he knew his grandfather had made a member of our staff a nominee for the award. He agreed to tell her if she let him scrub in. Curiosity got the better of Teddy and she allowed him in."
"He told your best friend Teddy that I was up for this award?"
"Yes."
"And did she tell you?"
Another tear ran down Arizona's face. "Yes, she did."
"How long did you know?" Arizona didn't say a word. She didn't have to. I pulled my hands, that were still in hers, away and she knew that I knew.
"Callie, please."
"When did she tell you!"
"The day before I left for Africa." Arizona couldn't even look at me.
"You knew you weren't going to let me get on that plane?" Again no answer. "You knew. For a day you knew that you weren't taking me."
"I did it for you, Callie. You were nominated for a award that no one gets. If you had left your research would have been stopped. There was no way you would have stood a chance if you stopped and I knew that. You wanted that award every since I knew you. You were nominated. I wanted you to be great. You wanted more than anything to be a rock star. There, you would have gotten lost in the shuffle. I knew the only way to make sure you didn't throw your career away was to make you stay. Was to…."
"To hurt me." I finished her sentence.
"Was to make sure you stayed and that you wouldn't come after me. Your tantrum just helped."
I stood and walked around the room. "I don't know what to say. All of this just doesn't make any sense to me."
"I know because you don't understand the magnitude of this award. You don't remember the countless hours that you spent in that lab. The hundreds of times you shook that vial and hoped for a solid form. I do. I remember. I remember hearing you talk about it in your sleep. I need for you to understand this now. Before you realize…"
"What? The magnitude of that award or the magnitude of what happened in that airport?"
Arizona stood and picked up her purse. "I love you, Callie. You said that when you remembered you wanted to know you did everything you could to help me when I cried in your hospital room. When you remember I want you to understand that I did what I did because I love you so much. I need for you to remember that." Arizona walked past me to the door. She turned just before she was leaving. "You would have done the same for me. You have no idea how proud you should be of yourself right now. You have no idea how hard you worked. I will never regret making you stay here. For playing my very, very small role in helping you. I would do it all again. The only regret I will have for the rest of my life is that I shouldn't have got on that plane either. I am so.." Arizona tried to speak through the tears. "I am so proud of you. I love you." With that Arizona was gone.