I don't own Game of Thrones

Please keep reading. I love the feedback

Chapter 18

Ned could have forced her to stay in the Capital. She was very aware of that. He did not ask her to stay the following morning when she readied Jon and Dany for the journey. Ned picked Jon who was fussy that morning.

"Leave Jon with me." He said in greeting.

Cersei frowned, "no, Dany and him come with me. They need me." She said and carried Dany who tried to reach for Ned.

"papa, papa, papa." She mumbled. "Yes my love, papa is over there." She said as they walked out to the courtyard. The carriage was ready for them. Cersei would go with Ser Selmy.

Cersei frowned at him, "I don't need the Lord Commander. He is supposed to protect you."

Ned kissed her hands, "I need him to make sure that you and the children are safe."

Cersei kissed him gently on the lips. "Take care and do not listen to the Spider. Be careful Ned." She whispered as she embraced him.

Ned bowed to her and gave her one last kiss. Cersei had a maid come with her and help her with the babies. Their journey was much quicker now that there were very few soldiers and movement. The inns were less crowded as well. Dany was fussy because she wanted breast milk but there was none to be had. Jon was much more agreeable during the journey.

They arrived to the Rock an early morning. She settled the babies in the nursery. Joanna and Minisa slept quietly. They had Lysa's look, red haired, rosy cheeked babies.

She left Dany and Jon on another crib. They were prepared for them. Cersei watched as Ilsa came in. "My queen." Ilsa said happily. The woman was heavily pregnant.

Cersei smiled at her, "It is good to see you." She said.

"I've come to feed the girls. Do I feed your babies too?" Ilsa asked her.

"No need." She said and moved to the halls in search of Jaime or father.

She found none but her heart almost gave out when she saw her baby brother eating bacon in the main hall.

Cersei ran to him and hugged him, "what are you doing here?"

Tyrion laughed and let her kiss him again. "I came for Lysa's funeral and never left."

Cersei frowned, "you said that you liked the Eyrie."

"I lied. I didn't want you to worry." Tyrion explained and offered her bacon.

Cersei kissed his cheek and accepted the offer.

"Tell me, how are things here?" Cersei asked him.

Tyrin looked at her, "good. Father is being nicer to Jaime."

Cersei watched him closely, "don't lie to me."

"Jaime is not well. He is drinking too much. You know very well that he did not care for Lysa but he now has two children. I think he thought that Lysa would grow to care for the babies. I think he feels guilty because he could not care to spend any time with Lysa and now she is gone." Tyrion explained.

"How is father behaving?" Cersei asked as she had some toast.

"Like father." Tyrion replied.

"Cold, impatient and short with everyone then." Cersei replied.

"Very well put." Tyrion replied. They ate breakfast and Tyrion told her everything that happened in the Eyrie.

He explained the lands as best as he could. "They have these cells where they put prisoners. They overlook the mountains, if you fall asleep and you roll..." Tyrion made a face.

Cersei frowned, "did anyone put you there?"

"No. I don't think they would have dared. They hate father but they know that I am a Lannister and I also made it known that I am your favorite baby brother." Tyrion grinned. Cersei kissed his forehead.

"You will come with me to the Capital." Cersei told him.

Tyrion nodded eagerly. Father joined them briefly, "you did not have to come. Lysa was sent to the Riverlands two weeks ago." He said after he kissed her cheek.

"I had to pay my respects." Cersei said innocently.

"How long can we expect you to stay with us?" Her father asked her once he was done with his meal.

"Not long. Ned asked for my visit to be brief." Cersei replied.

Her father nodded and left. "One could never call him cold. Such a welcome to his only daughter." Cersei said to her younger brother.

"Well, you had some words with him. All I get are glares and the occasional curt word. I'd say that is the most affectionate he can be." Tyrion told her seriously.

Cersei suddenly felt ashamed of herself. She grabbed Tyrion's hand, and kissed it, "I love you very much."

Tyrion smiled, "I know you do." He said and kissed her hand. "Now, I must be off. I am to read some books before the night is upon us."

He would be in the libraries then. Cersei stopped him, "you must come to my quarters so you can meet my children."

Tyrion nodded, "only you would do such a thing sweet sister." He said and waddled out of the halls.

Cersei stood up and went to Jaime's quarters. She knocked three times before going in. Cersei found her twin on his bed. She didn't have to come closer to know that he would reek of alcohol.

She looked around the quarters and found several empty flagons. She picked them up and had some maids come inside the room to clean it. Cersei saw as her brother woke up.

"Cerse." He said with a grimace. He was clearly feeling the after effects of the wine and mead he ingested.

She came close and kissed his cheek. He smelled horribly. "You need to take a bath. Go. I'll have Rae bring some food for you." She said in greeting.

Jaime did so. She waited for Jaime to come back. The maids brought the food and a flagon of wine.

"No more wine for the lord. Bring juices for him." She said.

Jaime came back, he sported a beard, "Shave it off. It does not suit you." Cersei said.

Jaime smiled at her but shaved it off. He ate quietly. "Tell me." Cersei whispered once he was done.

"I found her. She bled out." Jaime said. "Father made up that story of the fevers. Hoster Tully knew better than to ask for a lot of explanations. It is all my fault. I should have tried. She was so lonely, and always crying about something or other. She cried about a babe. I thought she would get better once the babe arrived. It was worse. Lysa couldn't look at the girls. She would not feed them. What kind of mother hates her children?" Jaime asked her angrily.

Cersei thought of something happening to Dany or Jon and she felt pain in her belly. They did not come from her but they loved her. Dany's eyes lit up when she saw her and Jon was such a good jolly boy. "We knew she was a bit off." Cersei said in consolation.

"I wish it all went away." Jaime told her in a whisper. "I don't want to be here. I could run away. You don't need me anymore. You are queen, and Tyrion. He would finally be what he was meant to be, Lord of the Rock.

Cersei frowned, "what of your children?"

Jaime looked at her once more. "You think I should stay."

Cersei nodded, "of course you should stay for Joanna and Minisa. This is your birth right; Casterly Rock is yours by law. Why should you go away? You need to think of them. You asked me for help. Let me help." She said.

Jaime agreed, "no running away."

"No." Cersei said and squeezed his hand.

Jaime and her took a walk by the beach and then went to the nursery after lunch. Jaime looked at his sleeping daughters. "They aren't very entertaining."

Cersei giggled, "well they are quite young."

She watched as Dany attempted to stand up by herself. "So this is the little Dragon." Jaime said as Daenerys scrunched her face and tried again.

Cersei smiled, "she is."

"Any signs of madness?" Jaime asked her.

Cersei frowned at him, "I know you are jesting but don't say those things. Dany is a lovely girl."

"Mamma, mamma." She babbled and crawled to her.

"You are letting her call you mamma?" Tyrion asked from the door. He carried two books with him.

"What else should she call me?" Cersei said and tickled Dany's fat belly.

Jon babbled to himself and then looked at Tyrion. "Does he call you mamma too?"

"Well, he is not saying words yet." Cersei said and tickled Jon for a bit.

Jaime and Tyrion looked at each other. Cersei sighed, "come out with it."

"Well, Jaime and I wondered. Stark does not seem the type to be forceful, why did you accept the children?" Tyrion asked.

Her brothers knew her well. Father and the rest of the world did not know how determined she was. "Jon's legitimacy was Ned's desire. I would not have people talk about me so I went along with it. Dany, well I feel in love with her when I saw her and it is safer to keep her close." Cersei said trying to give them some semblance of the truth. She could not very well tell them that they were all she had of Rhaegar.

Jaime was appeased but Tyrion kept looking at her, trying to find an ulterior motive. Her brothers did not know the depth of her love for Rhaegar.

"How can you not fall in love with her?" Cersei said as Dany raised her bottom and smiled goofily at her.

Jaime laughed at the babe and she giggled. "Well, she is pretty."

The twins woke up after a while. Ilsa came in and let her teats out for them. Tyrion gaped at her and then looked away. He was blushing and stammered something about books. He almost ran out of the quarters.

Cersei shook her head. She fed her children and let them play with their toys. Jaime glanced at his children. Cersei picked the twin to her right. Minisa, she wanted to say. "You get Joanna." She told Jaime.

"My queen, you have Joanna." Ilsa corrected her.

Cersei looked at the red headed baby, "How do you know? They are identical."

"Yes, I made a mark on her cloth. Yellow for Joanna, red, for Minisa."

Cersei laughed, "Smart. You may go Ilsa, go to my quarters. There is a small pouch for you and you may pick whichever jewel you like. Let the Lannisport merchants know that the queen gave you the jewels."

"Your grace is most generous." Ilsa said and picked and left.

Jaime picked up Minisa. Cersei taught him how to burp her. "You have to be gentle." She said. "Ned, was too rough on Jon and he cried once."

"I do not see Stark spending time with children." Jaime chuckled.

Cersei smiled, "he does. He spends at least an hour with them in the morning and some time in the evenings when he is done with council meetings."

Jaime looked at her, "Cerse, do you love him? How does it feel like?"

Cersei shrugged, "he cares for me. I don't love him like the songs say but he is my friend."

Jaime nodded and glanced at Minisa, "they look prettier than Lysa, do you not think?"

"I think they will be prettier, livelier and I think you will spoil them rotten. They shall be pampered little ladies." Cersei said with a smile.

"They will be and I will read them stories of knights and princesses." Jaime said while crying. "I don't want to be like him. I think it destroyed him. I think losing mother broke him forever."

Cersei tensed, "did he say anything?"

Jaime placed Minisa on her crib once more. Cersei did the same. She gave him time to wipe his tears away. He hated crying. She knew that, they were strong, they were Lions of the Rock.

"Not much, only that I should marry once more to give the girls a mother figure." Jaime said.

Cersei rested her head on his back, "Jaime, it will be fine." She said.

"I sure hope so." He said, "thank you for coming. I didn't think you would."

Cersei shook her head, "how could I not? You are my brother."

Jaime nodded and hugged her fiercely. "Cerse, I'll do better."