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Chapter 19

Cersei loved to take walks alongside Jon, Dany and Tyrion. They collected seashells. It was the day before she was to return back to King's Landing. Cersei promised need she would be away for a few months. It was now half a year since she left King's Landing. She knew it was time to go back to him.

Tyrion was now fourteen and his voice was forever changed. It was hard for her to get used to it. Dany and Jon walked hand in hand. They were very lovely, that was until Dany decided to run and drag an unsteady Jon with her. Jon fell hard. "Mim Dany." He yelled. Dany cried too.

Cersei picked up Jon, "she is not mean. It was an accident." Cersei said patiently and dusted his face. "Come to the water with mamma, both of you." She bathed them with salt water and then kissed the hurts away.

Tyrion did not go into the water. He stayed on the linen sheets they brought. "did you talk to father about it?" He asked once they came back.

Cersei nodded, "he refused."

Tyrion frowned, "it is his goal in life to make me pay for being a dwarf."

Cersei sighed, "well, he's agreed to let you be more active in Casterly Rock. You are to help Jaime in some matters."

Tyrion sulked, "I don't belong here. I want to be a Maester."

Cersei secretly agreed with father but it would not do to tell that to her little brother. She did speak to father about Tyrion's ambitions. The answer was clear, "no son of mine will be a servant." Cersei understood perfectly well. Tyrion was to be a great Lord. She knew it. She then tried to convince father to let Tyrion come to King's Landing with her.

"No." Father said.

"Father please, he is miserable here." Cersei tried to dissuade him.

"Why should he be miserable? He has food to eat, a roof over his head, fine clothes and books to read. He is my son and he will stay with me and his brother." Her father ended the argument.

Cersei left after that. She was queen but still powerless. She needed to wait for Tyrion to be of age, two more years.

"Two years, sweetling, when you are sixteen, you will come and live with me." Cersei promised him.

Tyrion nodded, "I guess I will have to help Jaime."

Cersei smiled at him, "never let him think he is winning."

Tyrion laughed, "I would never give father the satisfaction."

She chuckled, "what do you say we go back to the castle and you read these two some stories?"

Tyrion nodded and stood up. Dany took his hand, "I think you are my favorite."

Dany babbled at him. Cersei shook her head and picked up Jon, "uncle Tyrion does not mean it Jon. He loves you both."

They had a feast on her honor that night. Jaime danced with her and then drank some ale. He looked better, "I wish you could stay."

"I have to go back. Father made it clear that I have overstayed my welcome." Cersei said as they drank more ale.

"I think you miss your Northerman." Jaime teased her.

Cersei laughed. She did, a bit but not so much. Jaime stood up, "my queen," He bowed.

"Where are you going?" Cersei asked him.

"To the whorehouse." Jaime said impishly.

Cersei rolled her eyes, "you mustn't have any bastards."

"I will not. I promise on my honor." He kissed her cheek.

"Be careful and make sure." She said as goodbye.

She went to bed that night and slept peacefully. There were tears on her part the next morning. Father saw her off, as did Jaime and Tyrion. She clutched Tyrion to her. "I hate to leave you. You must behave. Don't give him headaches, be good."

"I am always good. He is the one who refuses to see it." Tyrion said and hugged her one last time.

Jaime hugged her tight, "thank you. I will write more I promise." He said.

Father hugged her awkwardly, "I shall see you soon. Safe travels." He kissed her hands.

Cersei curtsied and boarded the carriage. The travel back to Kings Landing seemed longer than it truly was. Maybe it was because Jon and Dany fussed for most of it. They were not babies but young toddlers and loud.

Cersei had a world of patience for them but there were times where she wanted to swat Jon's bottom for throwing those tantrums. She swatted Daenerys once after she tried to walk into a river and almost drowned.

Daenerys was scared and cried. Cersei hated herself then. "Forgive me sweetling. You scared me it's all." She said and cried alongside the fair headed child.

Dany snuggled to her and slept for the rest of that afternoon. They arrived to the Capital after a month of traveling.

Cersei was tired, hungry and the sight of the castle made her immensely happy. It was midday. Ned would be in a council meeting. She was surprised to him in the welcoming party. Ned offered her a smile when she left the carriage. She placed Dany on the ground and then put Jon next to her.

Dany blinked at Ned while Jon hid behind her leg. Ned approached them and bowed to her, "my queen."

Dany heard his voice and blinked at him again. Ned tried to pick her up but Dany ran to hide behind her leg, next to Jon.

Ned frowned at her. Cersei smiled at him, "don't worry too much."

Ned offered his arm to her. Cersei took it, one of the maids grabbed Jon and Daenerys. "I asked to not be disturbed for the rest of the evening." Ned said a little stiffly.

The maid took Jon and Dany to her quarters. "They need separate beds now." Cersei told the maid. She wanted to lay down for a bit.

Her husband glanced at her, "it was a long journey." He commented.

"It was." Cersei admitted.

Ned nodded, "I'll let you be then." He was about to leave when Cersei stopped him.

"You look tired too. How about we lay down for a bit?" She did not want him to think her indifferent. She took him to his quarters. The children were probably raising hell in hers.

She began to undress and he followed her. Cersei grabbed his hand and in bed they were. He watched her through half open eyes.

"You were gone a very long time." Ned touched her cheek.

"Jaime needed me." She replied honestly.

Ned frowned, "I needed you too." He began. Cersei did not want to hear it or argue with him.

She nodded and grabbed his hand, "tell me everything that's happened while I was away."

"We have taxes now; everyone must pay a due yearly to help with the costs of the war." Ned said and explained the measures taken. Under the law, all households would pay a sum of golden dragons. It was decided to not change the currency as it would create more confusion, and refashioning gold was too expensive. They crown was indebted to her family as it was.

Cersei frowned, "Ned, should not the lords pay more? I mean all of them equally. They were more than happy to flock to you. From the North to Dorne. They should pay a bit more."

Ned arched an eyebrow, "I will let Jon know about your idea."

"Don't let him know it was me. He does not like me." Cersei said with a smile.

"He likes you." Ned said while looking away.

"You are too kind." Cersei said and kissed him gently. Ned kissed her back a little forcefully. She knew he wanted her.

"Tell me more." She pushed him back a little bit.

Ned blushed a little, "Stannis Baratheon is to marry Selyse Florent in a fortnight."

"Are we to attend?" Cersei asked him.

"No. I will send an envoy and a title. Stannis is to be Master of Ships. Jon thought it would be appropriate if we did. After all, Stannis brought us Dany." Ned replied.

Cersei agreed, "tell me of the city."

Ned smiled, "your orphanage is running. Some high-born ladies are anxiously waiting for you to visit it. I went last week. It is clean, well-organized and the septas look kind."

"A kind septa, I shall be the judge of that." Cersei rolled her eyes. Ned laughed at her.

"Am I funny your grace?" Cersei tried to look stern.

Ned kissed her cheek, "you are never going away without me."

Cersei felt happy to hear the longing in his voice. "Tell me more."

"Jon appointed a new Master of Laws. It will go to a Dornish family. Jon thinks it is a good idea to re-establish our good relationship with the South. Prince Doran is said to have handpicked a candidate of his choosing.

Cersei agreed that it was good to have the Dornish on their side but thought that Master of Laws was too important of a title. "What about your master of Coin?"

Ned shook his head, "a combination of people at the moment. Jon recently found the books. We have debts to both your father and the Iron Bank. Your father stopped sending gold shortly after Harrenhall. Jon is looking closely into how to solve it. He has a boy with him. He is rather young. His name is Petyr Baelish, they call him Littlefinger."

Cersei laughed, "that is quite a funny name. I don't think I could keep my face straight if I met him."

Ned laughed alongside her, "he is from the Fingers."

Cersei giggled some more and Ned did something peculiar. He kissed her nose. "Your nose wrinkles when you laugh. I mean when you really laugh."

She laughed once more and he did it again. He kissed her all over her face. Ned was not afraid to be affectionate with her once they were alone. She basked in the attention.

They were almost nose to nose. "How much did you miss me?" She asked him.

"Very much, I thought about you every night and the children. They didn't recognize me." Ned said reproachfully.

Cersei nodded, "they will soon enough, they are babies."

"Tell me about them." Ned pushed a strand of blond hair behind her ear.

"As you can see they can now walk. Dany is better than Jon, but I think it is because she is older and less pudgy. She is a far pickier eater than Jon is." Cersei began and looked at Ned's grey eyes taking in the information.

"I have to tell you. Dany is very inquisitive, more than she should be. She almost drowned on a river because she chased a frog. I had to swat her." Cersei said quickly.

Ned pursued his lips, "I don't want you to hit the children."

Cersei frowned, "I did not like it but it had to be done." She continued as if nothing had happened.

"Jon is quiet but he is very smart, at least Tyrion thinks so. Jon can say five words. I think it is impressive. He can say mamma, up, no, go and any, I think it is way of saying Dany." Cersei continued. "He could be headstrong."

Ned laughed, "you can say it, you are looking for pigheaded. Lyanna was the same."

"A Stark trait then." She said and looked at his fingers. "Tell me, have you heard from Catelyn."

Ned shook his head. "I received a raven from Benjen. Cersei, he wants to join the Night's Watch."

"He simply cannot. He is lord Paramount of the North." Cersei replied. What was it with lords? Jaime, Benjen, Ned they were given everything on a silver platter and wanted to throw it away. Did they not understand how hard it was for others like Tyrion and her?

"He is asking me to forgive him but he cannot stay in Winterfell. He says it feels strange, not his anymore." Ned continued.

"You did not grant him forgiveness." Cersei however knew that Ned would, because Eddard Stark was still noble, a good and kind man who did not want to force anyone.

"I did. He should on his way to the Wall as we speak." He replied.

"So Catelyn holds the North." Cersei stated.

"She holds the North until Sansa becomes of age or we have a male child and that child becomes of age." Ned explained. Cersei of course knew.

"She could marry once more." Cersei told him.

"I would appoint someone else to oversee Sansa's interests or our child's interests" Ned offered. "I wrote to her last week. The raven with her answer should arrive soon enough.

"What did you write to her?" Cersei was curious.

"I asked her how she was, I asked about Sansa and what she thought of Benjen's decision to join the Night's Watch. I also gave her advice." Ned said.

Cersei was curious, "What type of advice?"

"Who to ask for help, I told her about what needed to be done for winter and whose houses would be the best to rely on. I gave her typical information that she needs to have for the harvests. She is not of the North so she will need to gain their trust." Ned said offhandedly.

"You speak of the North as if it were another land." Cersei said.

"It feels like it is. The North is very different from here. It is like another world." Ned said.

Cersei frowned, "you mustn't speak that way. The North is yours. You are Eddard Stark, first of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. All seven kingdoms are yours. You must not let any of these Wardens be above you or feel independent in any sort of way."

Ned sighed, "I will keep it in mind."

"You do that." Cersei said and heard Jon cry out. She stood up and went to him. "What is it? Bad dream?" She said as she picked him up. Ned was not far behind her. Jon hid his face on her neck.

"Are you shy?" Cersei asked the babe. "Don't be silly. He's not going to hurt you. He is your papa." She angled him so that Jon could look at Ned.

The king smiled at the boy. "Hello again Jon." The babe hid his face again.

"He'll come around." Cersei said. Daenerys was fast asleep on her small cot. Ned touched her cheek.

"She will be beautiful." Ned said and pulled a strand of hair back from her face.

"We'll be beating back the offers for her hand." Cersei said.

"Dorne has already asked for her hand." Ned said. "I said no of course. Dany is a little girl and Dorne's younger prince is said to have a bastard girl already, older than her."

Cersei frowned, "Oberyn?"

"That is the one." Ned replied.

"Father tried to offer Jaime and me for Elia and him. I disliked him on sight." Cersei remembered how cruel he was to Tyrion.

Ned continued watching Dany, "She is too young."

Cersei rubbed Jon's back and hummed. He needed his sleep. They needed to have their sleeping scheduled established. She glanced at the window. It was almost nightfall. Good, they needed to sleep through the night.

The Lysa subject came up, "I do not wish to speak ill of the death but Lysa was always odd." Ned replied. "Strange, fidgety and she talked to herself."

"She did, I think father and Jaime thought she would change once the babes were born but according to Jaime, she became dangerous." Cersei kissed Jon's forehead and placed him on his cot.

"Did you know that Jon Arryn was supposed to marry her?" Ned told her.

Cersei arched an eyebrow, "why didn't he?"

"Hoster Tully saw an advantageous marriage with your brother. According to Robert, Lysa was with child. Old Hoster Tully made her get rid of the child, some tea or other. She was then offered to Jon but your father offered your brother's hand."

"Father would not have accepted spoiled goods." Cersei remarked. She was clear that father would not have approved if there was such a rumor.

"Only he did. Lysa came with a hefty sum of gold as well as an alliance of war. Your father must have known that Aerys was done and decided to support Robert and the rebellion." Ned finished.

Cersei glanced at her husband, "Did they truly offer you Catelyn?"

Ned nodded, "Hoster did, before he knew about Catelyn's secret marriage to Brandon. I did not accept but Catelyn told us that she was with child that same night."

Cersei frowned, "did Brandon tell you about the marriage?"

"We did not have time to speak. I was on the search party for Lyanna. Bran was supposed to meet father halfway and go to Winterfell. He did not. He answered Aerys' summons." Ned replied sadly.

Cersei nodded, "Could Sansa be your brother's bastard?"

"No, Lysa confessed to attending the wedding. She did not like Catelyn. Cat is not a liar." Ned continued.

Cersei arched an eyebrow, "Cat?"

"Brandon called her that." Ned smiled. "I'd almost forgotten. She was once Cat."

Cersei pecked his lips, "I am hungry."

"Jon is hosting supper for us." Ned offered his arm. Cersei smiled.

They entered the hand of the King's tower and went to a nicely lit solar. Jon Arryn welcomed them graciously. She disliked him greatly. He reminded her of the septas of her childhood, unyielding, boring, mean.

She made small conversation with him. It was clear that Arryn made an effort to not outright dislike her.

"Your grace, please tell me how is your lord father?" He said after the meal was almost done. There it was. Arryn and father despised each other. Arryn secretly gloated in his victory as Hand of the King.

"He is well, sad because of Lysa's untimely death. He and my youngest brother are trying to cheer Jaime up." Cersei said while biting into a peach.

"Yes, most unfortunate. Young Tyrion? How is he faring? He is a voracious reader I am told." Arryn started.

"He is well, thank you for asking. He was most fascinated by the sky cells." Cersei replied.

"Oh yes, Yhon told me about his curiosity. I have to say Yhon had nothing but good things about his intellect, such as shame about his condition. He could have done wonderfully, almost as well as Ned and Robb did." The older man said.

Cersei frowned, "is that why the Royces turned him away from the Eyrie? A lot of people have underestimated my baby brother. His legs may not work as fast as Ned's. He may not be strong like late Robert or handsome like Jaime. Tyrion is smarter, his mind could put any of them to shame. You made a mistake turning him away."

Jon Arryn looked at her with surprised eyes, "your grace, I assure you I meant no harm."

Cersei was on the warpath, "why did he go back to the Rock?"

"Cersei, I am sure there is an explanation." Ned began and looked at his old tutor.

The older man looked at Ned, "young Tyrion was not a good fit. He did not enjoy hunting. He lacked the skills for archery, falconry and did not particularly enjoy complying to the rules. He insulted the Royces and many of the Knights of the Vale. Yhon found that it was best that he return West. Your lord father agreed with the decision.

Ned was appeased with the answer. Cersei seethed, "thank you for your frank words Lord Arryn." Cersei replied politely.

Her husband changed the subject to King's Landing affairs. Cersei's anger was barely concealed. He would see, Tyrion would be great, it was all in her power. She would make sure. The rest of the evening went by very slowly. She was glad when Ned stood up.

She smiled blandly and took his arm as they left to their own quarters. Cersei went into her quarters. She wanted to check on Dany and Jon before she went into Ned's bed. She did not notice her husband quietly go to his quarters. She watched Dany, her hair all over her pillow. It was getting long. She would have to style it soon enough. Dany sucked on her thumb. Cersei removed it from her mouth. It was not a nice habit to have. Dany's brow furrowed slightly and then shoved the thumb back. Cersei kissed her forehead.

Jon was on his belly, wild black curls around his face. He awoke as soon as she touched his cheek. He blinked at put up his arms. Cersei picked him up. "You are a beautiful little boy." She said and kissed his cheek once he was in her arms.

Jon snuggled to her. She sang to him, at least three songs before his grey eyes closed once more. Jon and Dany looked at her with wonder. They looked at her and went to her for all of their little problems. She felt very useful with them. These children made her feel cared about. They were good for her. They made her feel closer to Rhaegar. How she dreamed of him still, of what could have been. She placed him back on his cot. She kissed his black curls and undressed to her shift. She thought of staying behind in her own bed but she also thought of Ned. It would be nice to feel someone next to her. It would also be nice to fuck him. Why should she deny herself?

Cersei combed her hair into two plaits and then dabbed some flowery essence on her neck, the swell of her breasts and her belly. She closed the door on her quarters and walked the hallway to Ned's quarters.

She opened the door gently. Cersei was speechless when she saw her husband on his bed touching himself. He did not realize that she was there. His eyes were closed, his right hand moving up and down his length. He had his nightshirt on, his head was back. She saw as his hand moved quicker. He was close. Cersei grabbed her shift and pulled it over her head.

"Don't waste your seed." She said and walked to him. Ned eyes opened and he blushed beet red.

"Forgive me my lady. I…" He stammered. Cersei did not feel ashamed, why should she?

"Show me, how you stroke yourself." She sat in front of him. Ned blinked and tried to stand up.

"Truly, I want you to do what you were doing." Cersei grabbed his hand and placed it back on his wilting member.

Ned's cock twitched. Cersei removed her hand. Her husband began touching himself again. She could see him up close, the head was leaking a bit. She watched as her husband looked at her tits and cunt.

Cersei placed a hand on her tit. Ned moaned, the sound made her button flutter. She looked at his face, the most powerful man in Westeros licked his lips. Cersei rolled a pink nipple. Ned growled and moved his hand faster. "Tell me, what are you thinking about?" She asked him, she felt a throbbing on her cunt.

"You, your tits, how tight your cunt felt the first time I took you and every time after that." Ned told her while looking to her eyes.

Cersei smiled at that admission. "Did you fuck anyone while I was away?" She asked him curiously. Her husband shook his head. "I made a vow to you." Cersei did not roll her eyes, words were wind. She found that men did not exactly respect these types of vows. Men were allowed to fuck other women while married.

Ned did not ask her that question. He knew she could not, it would mean her head on a spike if she even thought of bedding another man, such was the way of the world.

"I would not be upset Ned. I want to know, did you take another woman? Should I make her a lady in waiting?" Cersei gave him another opportunity to tell her the truth. Cersei knew that men could not go a long time without fucking. She knew that father frequented some women, very discreetly of course.

Her husband shook his head. Cersei did not know what happened but suddenly she was under him while he rutted against her thighs. "No one, I wouldn't break a promise to you my queen. I touched myself and thought of you every night."

He rasped while he touched her cunt and fingered her. It was Cersei's turn to gasp.

"Did you touch yourself?" He asked her.

"No, I didn't think of that." She replied honestly. Her husband continued fingering her and growling.

"Why not?" He asked her. Well, she did not feel the need but she could not tell him that. It would hurt him. Cersei may be inexperienced but she sensed that Ned would not like to know that she did not miss him as much as he did her.

"It wouldn't compare to you. I wouldn't peak like when you fuck me." She then licked his neck. She felt him tremble and spill on her thigh and the sheets.

Cersei liked that power, the ability to unmake the most powerful man in Westeros. He kissed her quickly. "Why didn't you wait for me to take care of that?" Cersei asked him as he rested on her belly.

"I didn't know if you would come to me. You went to the babes and I did not want to force you." He said while kissing down her belly.

Cersei gasped when his mouth made contact with her lower lips. She did not ask many questions. Ned nibbled and licked until she felt the signs of her incoming peak.

She could tell he was ready. "What are you waiting for?" She asked him.

"I like looking at you, all spread and ready for me, your cunt is so swollen. I could just watch you all night." Ned kissed her cunt once more.

She moaned and yanked his hair back. "no more of that for now. I want you to fuck me now."

"As my queen commands." He said and guided his cock to her entrance. Cersei felt the slight burn and the stretch of him inside her. She closed her eyes and smiled when Ned growled and began to fuck her.

She gasped and moaned loudly when he began to buck wildly into her. She grabbed what she could of him and squeezed his hips with her knees. She loved the friction, that itch that was being so deliciously scratched. "Fuck Ned, you feel so good inside me." She was incoherent and her legs and toes twitched when he focused on thrusting so hard inside of her.

"Fuck me Cersei." He grabbed her plaits in his hand and pulled. She let out a small yelp but he made her peak so nicely she forgot to berate him for pulling her hair. He slumped over her.

They were a mess and Cersei did not care. "It's been far too long." She kissed his lips again. Ned looked just as she felt, sated and sleepy. It was a nice welcoming.