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Chapter 22

The Godswoods always helped him clear his mind. He breathed deeply. Ned smelled cold air, it almost hurt his lungs to do so. Winter was soon approaching. He needed to decide soon. Lannister left two weeks ago. The hosts left Winterfell four weeks ago. This was his seventh week in Winterfell. It would soon be too cold to travel South. The Citadel had not sent the white ravens but Ned was sure winter would come soon. He was interrupted by Cat.

She smiled as soon as she saw him. His sister in law sat next to him. "A raven arrived. The queen sent it for you."

Ned smiled tightly, "thank you." He said as he pocketed the letter. He had maybe seven or eight letters from his wife. They were all sealed and unanswered.

He smiled at Cat, "I should be out of here soon."

Cat shook her head, "Ned, you are welcome to stay as much as you can." He knew she was honest. Catelyn was a true friend. They got along very well. The laughed, talked about Winterfell and she understood him. She understood when he needed to be quiet, when he needed to talk. They had long talks about Winterfell, their families and Bran.

"Jon will soon send another letter. The last one asked when I was taking my Kingdom back." Ned confessed.

Cat frowned, "I never quite liked him."

Ned chuckled, "why?"

Cat's frown remained, "he lectured me for marrying Bran before time and being pregnant with Sansa."

Ned nodded, "he wanted us to be married. He accepted to marry Lysa himself."

"Maybe Lysa would still be alive if she married him." Cat said and then gasped.

Ned watched her closely, "you don't like Ser Jaime."

"He should have taken better care of Lysa." Catelyn simply said.

Ned nodded, "Fancy a walk?" He asked her and offered his arm.

His sister in law took and they walked to the springs. "We used to swim here. Lyanna, Bran and I. Benjen was too small."

Catelyn looked at the springs, and the vapor rising. "I see." She then laughed.

Ned watched her, "why are you laughing?"

"Nothing. I just thought about you and I married." Catelyn giggled once more. She looked beautiful with her loose red hair.

Ned came closer and kissed her. Catelyn kissed him back. He kept kissing her, it was nice, it was safe but he did not feel the pressure on his belly or as if he wanted to kiss her all day long. He stepped back. Catelyn blinked at him.

"It was nice." Catelyn said.

"But it does not feel right." Ned replied.

Catelyn shook her head, "I wanted to feel like I did with Bran."

Ned suddenly remembered why he refused to marry Catelyn and chose Cersei. Ned kissed her hands, "I am not my brother."

Cat smiled, "you are not." She said and they walked hand in hand to Winterfell.

"I will go to the Wall in the morrow. I will take a ship to King's Landing from there." He told her.

"I will miss you very much." Cat said warmly.

"As will I. Maybe when Sansa is older you can come and visit me in King Landing." Ned told her.

Catelyn shook her head, "there must always be a Stark in Winterfell. You and Benjen are very superstitious."

Ned chuckled, "it is Old Nan's fault." He confessed and made her smile.

Young Theon scowled at him as he bid his goodbyes. Sansa kissed both of his cheeks.

"Goodbye uncle." She said very properly. A little lady in the making, maybe a wife for Jon, a future queen. Ned hugged Catelyn goodbye. "Take care of yourself." She said and kissed his cheek. Ned smiled and kissed her hands.

"Goodbye Cat." He mounted his horse and sped North. Selmy followed him close by. It was him and three other Northermen who wanted to go to King's Landing and start fresh.

Selmy was quiet as they rode ahead. Ned trusted him, Barristan was a good man, a true knight. They reached Mole's town after a few days. It was easier to stay the night and then ride to Castle Black the following day.

Ned was welcomed by the Lord Commander and shown to guests' quarters. "I would like to see my brother before nightfall." He said pleasantly.

Ned rested for a bit and was woken up by a hard knock. He opened the door and saw his baby brother's face. Ned hugged him. "You look so grown."

Benjen smiled, "I am a man grown. A ranger. I've just come from my first ranging." Ned chuckled and hugged him once more.

"They will bring you food soon." Benjen said. Soon enough a man came in with food.

Ned ate it quietly, "I brought you something." Ned stood up and gave him some sweets and kidney pies, "Old Nan made me bring them."

"Thanks." Benjen grinned at him. "I promised I would see her next time I came down to get men for the Wall."

"When will that be?" Ned asked him as they finished their food.

"Next year." Benjen shrugged.

Ned shook his head, "she worries about you."

Benjen nodded. They remained quiet for some time. Benjen was the first to speak again, "they look nothing like them."

Ned knew his baby brother talked about the statues, "no." Another stretch of silence. "How long are you staying with us?"

"Another day. I want to go up the Wall early morning and then I will ride for Eastwatch by the Sea. I will board a ship for King's Landing." Ned replied.

"Want to train before they fill you with food?" Benjen asked him.

Ned grinned, "I don't think I could keep any more of this down. It is disgusting."

Benjen chuckled, "you get used to it." They walked to one of the courtyards and drew their swords.

Benjen improved a lot. Ned however was still better; his baby brother gasped when the blade pointed at his throat.

"Your grace." Benjen bowed to him.

Ned punched him on the arm. Benjen laughed. "Why did you do it?" Ned asked him.

Benjen looked at him in the eyes, "I could not imagine my life living there. Did you not feel it? Every room reminds me of father. The Godswoods remind me of you and Lyanna. All I see in the courtyards is Bran training with me. I couldn't be there any longer."

Ned sighed. "I miss Lyanna the most."

Benjen nodded, "I knew you would. Why did you do it?"

Ned knew that he asked about the throne, "I was there, Robert was gone and I climbed the steps. I think it was the biggest mistake of my life."

Benjen shook his head, "it wasn't. You are a good man. Father always said the throne needed a good man."

"Father wanted alliances in the South." Ned replied.

Benjen waved him off, "you just squashed the Ironborn without much bloodshed. You will be a great king."

"You could have married her. Catelyn is a good woman." Ned continued.

Benjen smiled, "she is pretty but all I think was, "Brandon's.""

Ned chuckled and ruffled his hair, "another session?"

Benjen nodded and they sparred until Benjen aimed his sword to his thigh.

"Good night Benji, write to me more often." He said as he hugged him.

"Your grace." Ben said and hugged him back.

Ned slept very little that night. He enjoyed going up to the Wall. "It is all yours. Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms." An old man with a frail voice said. It was the maester. Ned noticed the chains around his neck and his cloudy eyes.

"Should you be here?" Ned asked the man.

"I wanted to see you. Do not worry. I can still see some, very little of course but enough to make it to the lift." The older man as they gazed to the horizon.

"I think it is best if we boarded the lift." Ned continued.

"Oh, but I would like to have a word with you and this is the only place where it is safe to do so." The older man said.

"I heard you have my grandnephew's daughter with you." The man began. Ned frowned.

"Silence, perhaps I should have introduced myself beforehand." The older man continued. "I used to be Aemon Targaryen."

Ned felt uncomfortable then. "Do not fret. I renounced my name and family long before you were even thought of. I want to know, how is she? How is little Daenerys?"

"She is well, smart, beautiful." Ned said fondly.

The older man laughed, it sounded like a bird, "I am glad, thank you, for little Daenerys will be great. You have the sight."

Ned looked at the older man, "pardon me?"

"You have the sight, you are a greenseer." The older man said firmly.

"I do not know what you are talking about." Ned said just as firmly.

"I think you do. You may not recall all of your dreams but they come true. You saw your sister and Rhaegar. Did you also see Aegon's birth? Of course, he is now Jon."

Ned paled but there was no denying any of it. "I did not see him."

"I did. I also saw a head of the Dragon killed, Viserys, unstable much like his father. The Dragons shall rise again. I think you chose well. Don't doubt it, your mercy may have saved them all." The old man said and walked to the lift.

"Take care of yourself. The Quiet Wolf, an apt moniker for you." The man said as his goodbye. Ned stayed rooted to his spot. The dream of Lyanna and a man who took her away came true, as did the dream of him going to the mountains all those years ago and the one when his mother died and Benjen lived. Ned trembled for a bit and looked over Westeros once more. He was surprised by the sound of the lift coming up. He found that he was utterly cold, it must have been at least an hour for the lift to be atop once again. Ned was ready to touch firm ground.

"Your grace," Selmy said as they rode to Eastwatch by the sea. The journey was quick. It snowed heavily for three weeks. It was not safe to sail so they stayed docked. Ned received three ravens in that time, one from Cersei which went unread once again, it joined the other ones. Jon Arryn asked him to stay North until it was safe to travel, his tone was softer. He also received a letter from Cat. She asked him to travel to back to Castle Black and wait out the storms.

Ned did not heed any advice and stayed docked for another week before it was safe to travel. It was time to face his duties. He lived in a fantasy for the past months but he could not escape his reality any longer. Ned hoped he could cope when seeing her once again. Ned felt the change in temperature once they sailed and past the Neck. He stopped using the heavy furs. He thought of going to Dragonstone and staying with Stannis for a few weeks but thought better of it. He continued to King's Landing and felt sick to his stomach once he touched the shores.