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Chapter 23

Cersei looked at the banners and steeled herself. He would have to see her now. Cersei wrote to him at least fifteen to twenty letters since he left. She panicked that first day when Ned left, the look in his eyes, the utter betrayal made her sick. It meant nothing, only Ned understood, she gave herself away when he picked up the figurine.

Cersei placed the dragon back in her quarters and would look at it at night. Why did Jon have to have it in his pockets? She was careless and now Ned had this idea of her. It was irrational, but she felt as if all her hard work with Ned was undone. They were friends, the Rhaegar matter was untouched for years. Sometimes while playing with the children she shook herself. Maybe it was all in her head, maybe Ned did not think anything of the figurine. It was silly, nonsense, Ned and her cared for each other but his look when leaving? His face, and the way he handed her the figurine. In her desperation she wrote to Jaime and asked him to relay a message.

Ned never wrote back. She did not write about the figurine but told him how much she missed him and how she hoped he would come back to her soon. Cersei was glad when the news that the war was at an end. They had celebrations in the Capital. She had the city prepared for their arrival. Jon Arryn however called a halt to the preparations, for the king decided to journey North. Cersei nodded when she received the raven from the Lord Hand. It stung that he would leave for the North and not come back to her and the children. It made her itch all around.

Cersei sent more letters and continued with her duties. She visited the orphanages and attended some small council meetings when Jon Arryn requested of her. How she disliked the man. He was perfectly polite to her but Cersei knew better. She knew that the older man shared her feelings. The children were the bright spot in all of her wait. They kept her busy, grounded and gave her hope that things could go back to what they were before. Cersei would be there with them in the welcoming party.

The queen finished dressing and retrieved the children from the nursery. They were getting too old for the nursery but it was easier to have them close to her. Jon was ready first. He ran to her.

"Hello my love." She greeted him when he hugged her legs. Jon was now four years old. His name day passed a week ago. Daenerys tried to run away from one of her handmaidens. "Your grace, the princess does not let me braid her hair." The woman said with a frown.

Cersei shook her head and grabbed the combs from her daughter. "Come here sweetling." Cersei sat down and began the process of braiding Dany's hair. Jon played with his toys. Daenerys tried to join him but Cersei held her. "Do you not want to be pretty for Papa?" She asked the little girl.

"Yes, papa." Cersei told her. Daenerys stayed still. Cersei spoke of Ned to the children every day.

"Papa is coming home?" Jon asked her from his blocks.

"He is." Cersei nodded, "you remember what you have to do?"

Dany nodded her head firmly. "papa was brave and he killed the krakens and he went North and fought off direwolves and white walkers. We have to hug him and give him lots of kisses." Daenerys said excitedly.

Jon frowned and approached her, "mama, I don't remember papa's face."

Cersei smiled at him, "don't be silly, you will know who he is. But just so you know, Papa will be the one smiling at you and opening his arms."

Daenerys squirmed in her lap. "mama, will he go away again?"

"I don't know my heart, you will have to make sure that he doesn't. You will have to tell him how much you missed him." Cersei finished her handiwork. Daenerys wore two braids. Cersei kissed her forehead. Jon let her put on his vest with the direwolves pin on the breast. Dany wore a red dress while Cersei wore a turquoise dress and her crown, her hair was done a single braid, simple. She grabbed their hands and they walked to the docks. She was not surprised to see Jon Arryn, Grandmaester Pycelle and the Spider waiting for the royal boat. Arryn frowned, he of course stated that he sent a servant to alert her. He did not, Cersei learned of her husband arrival through her own informants.

Cersei watched with trepidation as the small boat made its way to the shore. She could see Ned's face, he did not wear his crown, he looked wild, his beard was untrimmed, the children looked at her, "papa has a lot of hair." Jon said.

Dany let go of her hand and ran to the shore. Jon would not be outdone and off he was too. She was correct. Ned's instinct was to run and open his arms to them. Jon reached him first, Dany threw herself at him. He hoisted them up. Dany gave him lots of kisses and clung to his neck. Jon started talking.

"You speak now." Ned said to Jon.

Jon frowned, "why would I not Papa? Mama said you killed Krakens and walked with direwolves and that you defeated white walkers and swam with sharks. You have to tell us everything." Jon said excitedly.

Daenerys held onto his neck and kissed his cheek many times in succession. Cersei laughed at the silly little thing. She taught the girl well. It was what she waited for. They locked eyes. "Your grace." She said and curtsied to him.

Ned came close and kissed her hand gently. "My queen." He said a little stiffly. It was a very proper welcoming but Cersei and perhaps Jon Arryn knew that Ned was tense. Cersei smiled once more and ignored the weight on her chest. All they needed was to speak privately. She would make sure that he understood. This was all a big misunderstanding.

"Jon dearest, come to mama, let your Papa be with Dany." Cersei smiled at the boy.

"No." Jon said and looked at Ned. The king smiled at him. "I can take them both." He said as they walked to the Red Keep.

Cersei smiled once more and followed them. She heard Daenerys talk about the direwolves. Ned laughed. "Now, Dany, why would you want a direwolf?"

The little girl grinned, "I could cuddle with it and it would lick my face."

"Sweetling, a direwolf is not a puppy." Ned explained gently.

Daenerys frowned, "no matter. Jon said he will have one when we are grown and he will lend me it."

Jon piped up, "I will not lend you Ghost."

Dany rolled her eyes, "tell me about the white walkers." She kept babbling and she could hear Ned's laughter. It gave her a bit of hope.

They reached the Red Keep. Ned was immediately asked to join a small council meeting. Jon and Dany were already running through the gardens. Cersei went to them. Jon noticed that his father left. He ran to his legs. "I will come and play with you and your sister later." Ned said. Jon was appeased and joined Daenerys in a game of chase.

Cersei stayed in the gardens until late evening. There was a welcoming feast for Ned. Jon Arryn was to host. A servant told just before she rounded her children. They needed baths and sleep. Jon kept looking where Ned left.

"Papa said he would come to play with us." Jon kicked a rock.

"He did but papa was busy with the lord Hand. You must be good for he will come and play with you and Dany in the morrow." Cersei told Jon who looked uncertain. Daenerys was surprisingly accommodating that day and followed all rules. She bathed them separately now. She knew it was time when Daenerys asked where was her thing, how come Jon had one and she did not. Jon then looked at his penis and tugged at it.

She bathed Dany first, she carefully detangled and brushed her hair. Cersei dressed her and then drew the bath for Jon. She did not like the maids taking care of the children's nightly routine. They were clumsy and had once scratched Jon's belly and Dany cried when they touched her hair. Cersei rinsed Jon's hair and brushed it as well. Soon she had them on their beds. Jon was sleepy and only needed a song and a brief kiss before he nodded off. Daenerys asked for a story and a cuddle. "Mamma, do you think papa loves me?"

"Of course he does, why would he not love you?" Cersei kissed her fair hair.

"Jon looks like him. I don't." Dany said as she nuzzled her neck.

"You have blond hair like me and your papa loves me." Cersei said with a smile. Dany seemed happy with the answer. Cersei finished her story and then left for the king's rooms.

She half hoped that Ned would be there. He was not, Cersei changed her dress into a light purple. She did not undo her braid but removed her jewelry. She walked to the Tower of the Hand and found her husband and the Lord Hand laughing. She entered the room and smiled at them. Cersei noticed that Littlefinger was there with a lady from court. Arryn asked about the North and praised Ned's tour as it was now deemed. Cersei knew better, it was clear that Arryn hated that Ned stayed away for so long.

Cersei tried to get Ned's attention to no avail. She retired once it was obvious that Ned would stay with Arryn. It would have to wait until later when he went to their quarters. Cersei stepped out of her dress and put on her nightgown. She let her hair loose, Ned loved to play with her hair. She waited all night for a husband that did not arrive. Cersei did not cry. She remained quiet as she thought about her situation. She needed to speak to Ned. The handmaids came in and dressed her for the day. Cersei went to the nursery. Jon and Dany kissed her good morning.

She grabbed their little hands, "shall we break our fast in the Throne room with papa?" She asked them. Her two children nodded eagerly.

Cersei smiled, "Dany, you may do mama a big favor today." Cersei said as she braided Daenerys' hair.

"What shall I do mamma?" Her little girl asked her.

"Papa is very busy. He will be needed during many meetings today." Cersei said as she finished the two braids.

"You mustn't let that happen." Cersei said. Dany turned to her and blinked. "But you always say that meetings are important. You said that Jon and I must be always well behaved, that you and Papa have a duty to our kingdoms."

Cersei smiled and kissed her hands, "yes my love but surely, Papa can be a bit with us today. What do you think? We could play in the gardens and Papa loves the Godswoods."

The little princess nodded, "yes mamma, I will convince him." Dany giggled. Cersei kissed her cheek, "it must come from you. Papa would not listen to me but you he has to. Who could resist my little Dany?" Cersei said and tickled her.

Daenerys nodded and hugged her. Jon came by once he was ready for the day. She took them both to the throne room. It was customary for Ned to have petitioners by midmorning. She knew that Arryn would not stray away from tradition. Cersei and the children ate normally. Jon and Dany leapt off their feet when Ned finally appeared.

"PAPA." They yelled and ran to cling to his legs. Ned chuckled and picked up Jon first.

"My prince." He said.

"Lord father." Jon replied with solemn eyes.

Dany frowned and tried to climb him. Ned bent to pick her up. "My princess."

"Papa." She said and kissed his cheek. "We were waiting for you. You did not say good night. Jon and I waited."

Jon nodded as if to make sure Ned knew that Dany was not lying, "mama said you were busy with the lord Hand. Mama said we always have to keep our promises for the people look up to us."

Ned looked confused. "I apologize."

Jon smiled, "we forgive you." Cersei walked to them and kissed Ned's cheek.

"Good morning your grace." She said and felt ice dripping on her back when Ned stiffened and offered her a nod.

"Your grace, we will start in a few minutes."

Ned let the two children on the ground. Cersei grabbed their hands. "I have to take care of my duties now."

Cersei nodded, "come along children. Papa has to rule."

Daenerys, her brilliant girl did the rest. "But I thought you would play with us. You said you would play in the gardens yesterday and you didn't." Daenerys said with sad eyes.

Jon looked at Ned too. They were expecting his response. "I shall meet you later."

"Come sweetlings, we must do as Papa says." Cersei appeared to coerce her children out the room when Daenerys ran back to Ned and Jon followed.

"No." It was Jon who said it. "You promised." He continued and frowned at her.

Daenerys started crying. "Just a few hours Papa. We promise we'll be good. I will be a good girl. I will listen to mama and I will start doing the needlepoint with the Septas. Papa please."

Jon blinked back tears too. He was not supposed to cry. It would not do well for a young prince to cry. Cersei hated it but knew that Ned would not take lightly to Jon crying.

Cersei knew she had her chance when Ned sighed and picked up Dany. "How many petitioners?"

"fifty give or take." Jon Arryn replied.

Ned nodded, "I trust no one but you to do this another day." He said to the Lord Hand.

"Your grace, it is not a good practice to bend to the whims of children." Arryn said quickly but in a low voice lest the Kingsguard or Pycelle hear him.

"She isn't just any child. She is my daughter and a princess." Ned said with finality. Cersei grabbed Jon's hand as they left for the gardens.