Chapter 24

The two children in front of him made it hard to remember his anger. He chased them through the gardens and played dragons with them.

"I am going to rescue Dany. You be the Dragon Papa." Jon said as he picked up a branch and brandished it. Ned knew that it was wrong, his posture was off, his leg stance was ridiculous as well. He was interrupted when Dany tugged at his tunic. "You have to sit down now. Mama used to be the dragon and Jon rescued me." Dany grinned and sat on his lap.

Ned used his hands but Jon and Dany frowned. "you're doing it wrong."

"Mamma come and teach him." Jon stood up and grabbed Cersei's hand. Ned stiffened. It was not in his plans to talk to her at all.

Cersei was unperturbed and sat next to him. She started growling and crawling towards Jon while pushing Dany behind her.

Jon fought her off with the branch. "You must be careful." Ned said while the branch almost hit her lap.

Cersei looked at him and smiled at him. Ned looked away. They played for a bit until Ned yielded and Jon grabbed Dany's hand. "Now we run." Dany said and they ran around.

Ned watched them and joined, anything to not speak to Cersei. He was sweaty and both children were exhausted.

"It is time for their studies." Cersei said after a while.

Ned nodded, "who instructs them?"

"A maester by the name of Dall. He is from the Arbor. They spent three hours with him and have their lunch there. They nap, we spend some afternoons visiting King's Landing and then take supper." Cersei replied as the children rested for a bit.

"I shall take them to their lessons. Jon will spend afternoons with me. I shall begin his training. Daenerys may come and learn how to ride horses if you consider it appropriate." Ned said formally. He then grabbed Daenerys. Jon blinked when he offered his hand to him.

Cersei stood up. "I shall need a private audience with you." She said just as formally.

Ned frowned, "my queen, I am quite busy."

He started walking with the children. The anger was back in full force. He would not be made a fool any longer.

"I will consult with the Lord Hand." Cersei continued.

"You may." Ned replied coldly.

He left his queen in the garden and walked with the children. He reached the maester's quarters and stayed for the lessons at the children's insistence.

Ned's blood boiled when he thought of Cersei and her deception. She made him fall in love with her while she continued to love a dead man.

The children learned slowly but the maester was patient. He noticed that Daenerys was taken to another room to do needlepoint and draw. Jon stayed in the room and learned about his role as Prince.

Ned watched him most carefully. The child was all Stark, there was not even a hint of the Dragon. It was easy to forget that he was begotten by thrice dammed Rhaegar. Ned found himself genuinely smiling when Jon sought him. "I will start archery next week."

Ned nodded, "you shall not. I will teach you how to ride horses and sword fight." He said to the child and the maester.

"Your grace, if I may, it was planned that his grace would begin archery lessons with the maester at arms." The thin maester said.

"I will see to my son's training as did my father and Jon Arryn when I was a boy." Ned replied.

It was easy to continue the rest of the afternoon. Ned had supper with the children and Cersei. He once again ignored her attempts at conversation. She raised her voice once but the children looked scared so she excused herself.

"Why did mamma leave?" Dany asked with big violet eyes.

"She felt poorly my Sun." He said and smiled at her. He would not call her his little dragon anymore. He wanted to forget about them. No she would be his Sun, a bright spot in his life. Dany smiled. "Papa. I love you very much."

Ned smiled at her. Jon frowned, "I love you more."

Ned kissed his forehead, "now, I know you two love me very much. Thank you, shall we continue eating?" The children nodded. Ned took them back to the nursery and found the maids there. He kissed them good night and promised to see them in the morrow during the afternoon.

"Papa needs to meet with important people." He said with a smile. Jon and Dany nodded.

"We know, mamma told us all about it. You are the king and you are most occupied. We missed you so much." Dany said.

Ned nodded. "I will try to be with you two more." He promised and then left for different quarters. He refused to visit the Kingly headquarters.

Jon Arryn was furious with him the following morning. He appeased the man by agreeing to another meeting before the petitioners the following day.

True to his word, Ned played with the children, only, he made sure that Cersei would be attending to her own duties during that time. He saw to Jon's training and was surprised when Dany joined them for horse riding. Jon was a natural while Daenerys struggled but took to the animals. His little Sun wanted to please him.

He had no intentions of seeing Cersei more than he had to. They had suppers together for the sake of the children. Ned fell into a comfortable routine of duties and spending his free time with the children. Cersei tried to speak to him when they coincided in the children's schedules but it was useless. He refused to engage her. She asked for a private audience every day and every day she was rejected. He slept in different parts of the castle and pushed any notion of talking to her to the back of his mind. It was better to feel nothing than to feel all the rage, sadness and desire that she inspired him. How he desired her, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips, have her lie to him and tell him that she loved him. But those wishes were only that, wishes, his wild imagination.

Ned spent nights dreaming of her. The time he spent with her was more than enough for him to fuel his dreams. He could only think of her and it physically hurt to look at her. He remembered the fact that she loved another.

Three months passed before Cersei finally got her wish. It was not an official audience but a trap set up by her. He was tired and needed a good soak. He reeked and his beard appeared wildly overgrown. He had the barber come to his quarters and had a tub brought in for a bath. He dismissed the servants once fresh water was put in, it was hot, it reminded him of Winterfell, only winter in the South was nothing compared to true winter. He stayed in the tub until the water began to cool.

He was almost done when in came her. Cersei wore her nightgown and he hair was down.

Ned frowned at her and stood up. "Leave." He hissed.

"No." She said and locked the door behind her. "We need to talk. I am going mad and you have been so cruel." She began.

Ned stood up and put on a tunic and breeches. "I have been cruel? My lady you must forgive me for you and I have very strange definitions of the word."

Cersei frowned at him. "Why are you behaving in such a way? I have done nothing but to care for you."

He could not stand the lies, the mummer's show was over. "I shall not be spoken to as if was soft in the head. You know very well what you have done."

"Ned, you make no sense." Cersei yelled exasperated. "Tell me, for I shall run mad if you do not tell me. What have I done to deserve such cold and harsh treatment? You ignore me, avoid me, and I don't know what to make of it."

Ned blinked twice, "I have to admit. Cersei Lannister, you a superb actress."

Cersei came closer to him and attempted to touch his cheek. Ned stepped away. He would remain quiet. His wife frowned and wiped angry tears.

"Why did you not write to me? I wrote you time and time again." She reproached him. "Did you open them?"

"I did not." Ned replied without making eye contact.

"Ned, surely this is not about that small thing? Is this about the figurine?" Cersei asked him while frowning. Ned searched her face.

"You are a marvelous actress. You truly are, but I will not be made a fool any longer." He said openly.

Cersei blinked and tried to look surprised. Ned did not buy the act any longer. "It was his, Rhaegar's. I saw it in your eyes, the fear, it was the first time I saw your true self. You will not deceive me any longer."

"It means nothing. I told you in my letters." Cersei explained.

Ned looked at her and came closer, "tell me wife, why did you write to your brother? He said you were frantic. Why the need to write me so many letters? Why have you gone out of your way to procure an audience with me? Is it not because you own heart betrayed you? Is it not because you love a dead man? Is this why you so readily accepted Jon? why you look at Daenerys with such longing? You see, I've had time to think about all this. Why would a woman such as yourself take to Jon and Dany?"

Cersei looked away from him. Ned studied her once more. She looked tense, her hands gripped a chair and she looked at a window.

"All this time, I thought you did it for me. I thought you wanted to care about me and accepted Jon. I thought you wanted to please me when you accepted Daenerys but it was for him all along. Wasn't it?" Ned badgered.

She shook her head, "I didn't. I care for them."

"I know you do. I see it, you love them but it all started because of him, your precious Rhaegar. You lied to me. You made me think you cared for me." He stepped away from him.

Cersei shook her head once more. "I never lied, you never asked."

Ned looked at her and wanted to strike her. He remained back and let all the anger out. He could feel himself shake. "I am asking now. Why are you raising Daenerys and Jon?"

She cried, "they reminded me of him. They were Rhaegar's."

Her answer left him breathless from the pain. He remembered having the wind knocked out of him by Bran when he was nine. It felt like that.

"Leave these quarters. I do not wish to see you again. You will leave by morning. The children stay with me. You will go West. We will say you miss your family. I shall see no more of you Lady Lannister." Ned said woodenly.

Cersei stood in her spot for a second before she spoke, "Cersei Stark. I am not Lady Lannister anymore. I am Cersei Stark, your queen and I will not leave my children nor will I leave you."

Ned came to her side once more, "I will remove you myself." He was done with all of the mummery.

"You can't. Have I not been a good wife? I have loved Jon and Dany. I made a mistake, yes, I lied by omission but was that not what you wanted? Did you not want Jon to be safe? Is Daenerys not yours anymore? You have decided and I do not even have the option to defend myself." Cersei told him quickly.

Ned would not be fooled by her any longer, "Cersei, I am giving you a safe way. Leave King's Landing."

"I will not. This is my home, you and the children. I have been faithful to you and them. Do they not love you? I spoke of you, every day. They worship you, you are their papa. You cannot take them away from me. I will not stand for it Ned. I will not." She said again and grabbed his arm.

Ned shook her off, "I cannot bear to look at you."

"Why? Because I am not selfless, because I hoped to have some happiness for myself? You will not take my babies away from me." She continued. "Why are so willing to throw us away?"

"There is no us. You have lied to me from the beginning. You should have told me of your love for Rhaegar." Ned was angry once more.

"But you knew. You told me when you came to visit me during the war. You said I must love him still. Ned, you said he would die and he did." Cersei argued.

Ned scowled, "I assumed you stopped. What was your plan Cersei? Have my children love him too? Were you going to raise them with tales of that animal? Were you going to poison Jon and tell him when the time was right that he was a Targaryen? What games did you plan for them?" He spat.

Cersei shook her head. "You have it all wrong. I would never. I could never do that. What good would that do? You are their father. They love you, I made them love you. That should be enough. You cannot take me away from them. I am their mother, they need me."

"I will allow them to visit you from time to time." Ned conceded. He needed her gone from his quarters.

"Not good enough. They are mine as much as they are yours. I will not do it. You won't keep me away from them." Cersei said.

"I can send you away. I can have Jon Arryn place you in a litter and carry you away." Ned threatened.

"Why? Ned, we can try, we can be what we were. We were happy." Cersei said once again. She grabbed his hands. Touch, her touch was his undoing. He was enthralled by her. He was taken with her from the moment they met in Harrenhall. Cersei did not realize the hold she had on him.

Ned looked at her, she was incredibly beautiful. He loved her. He wanted her happy, safe and well taken care of. "Do you love him still?"

Cersei's eyes clouded with tears, "am I to assume that your silence is a yes?" He asked her softly.

Cersei shook her head, "no. Ned, I never held a conversation with him. I clung to the idea of him." He noticed something in her hands. It was the dragon figurine.

She smashed it to the ground. Ned watched with sick pleasure as it shattered into tiny pieces. "Why can't we go back like we were before?" She looked weak.

"Do you love me?" Ned asked her.

Cersei came closer once more, "I don't know. I missed you and the idea of you hurt is painful to me. I care for you." She replied.

"Tell me everything." Ned said. He was confused and seeing her so sad weakened his resolve. Her proximity undid the walls he managed to erect against her.

Cersei nodded. She sat on the chair while he took the small bed. "There is not much to tell. You know that my father had hoped to betroth me to Rhaegar. I did not happen but I grew up thinking it would. I was so certain of it, even after he married Elia. I thought myself in love. I thought myself in love even after I became your queen and then you held the figurine and I saw your face. I realized my foolishness. I will not apologize for keeping Daenerys or for welcoming Jon for they are ours. They have been ours since the moment we placed them in that nursery."

Ned watched her carefully, "did you never speak to him?"

Cersei shook her head, "never, but I imagined a life with him. I made up this fantasy in which we had children, ruled together and where my brothers were safe and happy. I thought of Rhaegar every day."

"Did you think of him when I touched you?" He asked her.

"Never, you are the only man I thought of. There's only been you inside of me. You know that Ned." She told him while blushing.

He nodded, "what do you want?" He asked her.

"I want to go back to what we were. We were friends, I care for you." She said plaintively. "Come back to our chambers." She said

Ned watched her, "would you like that?"

Cersei nodded, "I've missed you." She came closer, so close that he could see the impossible shade of green in her eyes. He was only human and savored the kiss. He moaned into her mouth. Ned kissed her deeply and then kissed her neck. He was in heaven while touching her. He did not know how but suddenly they were in bed and he tried to push her shift down and only succeeded in pulling a breast out. Cersei kept kissing his earlobe and pushing her hands inside his tunic. She reached for his cock. Ned pulled back. "I want you." She said.

"Do you mean it?" Ned asked her. He panted while pushing her hair back from her face. Her nightshift and his breeches between them.

Cersei kissed his lips and then bunched the shift so that he could touch her cunt. She throbbed against him. "I missed you. I desire you Ned. You know I do." She gasped when he pushed his fingers inside of her. He kissed her neck again and loved how tight she was around him.

"Did you take lovers?" She asked him as he hooked his fingers inside of her. Ned did shook his head against her shoulder. A kiss with Cat did not count.

"Did you?" He asked her as she writhed under him.

"Never. You are the only one." She said and moaned when he touched her button. Ned decided that it was enough. He would fuck her. It was painful to see her so flushed wild and ready for him. Ned lowered his breeches as much as he could and then entered her. Cersei grabbed the nape of his neck and urged him on.

"Ned." She gasped when he hooked her leg on his hips and drove in. Ned bruised her neck with bites and pushed on until he spilled inside of her. She caressed his back. Ned stiffened a bit.

"Don't. Stay like that." She begged him and kissed his jaw. She liked him with a trimmed beard. He knew that. Ned let her kiss him, "I am crushing you."

"I don't want you to start thinking of leaving me again." Cersei said openly. He kissed her neck. He nuzzled her and closed his eyes. He needed sleep.