Chapter 23 - Returns Restorations

Harry couldn't be happier; the Horcrux had finally been destroyed and not only that, his best friend was the destroyer. Any tension between the two boys had been dismantled as Ron not only saved his life, but Harry got to watch firsthand what was going through Ron's mind whilst he had the locket. It was a ridiculous concept, really, which Harry ensured he firmly explained on their walk back to the tent, but it was clearly enough to devastate Ron, and Harry could finally understand his actions. They had to tell Hermione!

Ron, however, was more apprehensive about her reaction than Harry appeared to be. Maybe once he told her everything, she would reason with him, but that was a long shot at best.

"Wait a sec, Harry." Ron called from behind him.

Harry raised his eyebrow at him.

"Look, I can't tell you how happy I am to be back, but I don't think Hermione will be best pleased to see me right now, even if I have just killed this bloody thing." He motioned to the locket.

Harry nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll be happy once she's heard you out, but she was really upset when you left, and I mean proper upset, she wouldn't speak to me for days, and she looked terrible."

Ron felt his guilt return in mounds. He nodded himself and took a step back, allowing Harry to make his way through the tent opening. Ron took a deep, nervous breath as he waited.

Hermione had endured yet another sleepless night. However, this time it wasn't purely because of how her heart ached. She had broken Harry's wand. Harry had said it was fine and that he forgave her, but Hermione could tell all too well that he was disappointed. They should never have gone back to Godric's Hollow, Hermione knew it. But both her and Harry were struggling to figure out any other places they could go, so what could she protest when Harry tried to convince her they should visit?

Speaking of Harry, Hermione bristled as she thought she could hear his voice outside. Had he begun talking to himself? Was she such a horrible friend that she hadn't noticed? She couldn't decipher what he was saying but he sounded a lot chirpier than he had in months. But who was he talking to? He couldn't possibly be speaking to another person, could he? Her musings were dispersed as Harry hurriedly unzipped the canvas and practically fell into the tent.

"Hermione!" Harry called excitedly.

"What? Has something happened?" Hermione's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yes! It's brilliant! You need to come and see." Harry made his way back through the tent.

Hermione stared after him before getting off of her bed with considerably less enthusiasm. "What?" She groaned exasperatedly as she walked through the tent.

"I wished you just told me what was go-" Hermione's heart stopped mid-sentence as she walked outside.

It was like a mirage; she didn't really believe her own eyes. Her mind went blank. She kept toying between happiness and anger, love and hate. His face looked worn, the dark circles under his eyes were huge. His once bright and lively hair looked dull and malnourished. However, when his lips curved up into that familiar lopsided smile, Hermione's heart began to melt. But then he said something as stupid as 'hey' and she lost it. The next thing she knew, she was taking his bag and whacking him with it.

Tears rolled down her face as Hermione listened to Ron's story. She was only half paying attention, the other half of her was lost in the fact he was really back. She'd feel nothing but glee if her mind hadn't kept reminding her that he had left in the first place. After hearing his story and seeing that smug look on his face; as if all was to be forgiven just because he killed a Horcrux, Hermione couldn't bear to stand there. Had he really no idea how much his exit hurt her?

Not even glancing at the sword she had so longed to find, or the now-destroyed Horcrux, something they had been working tirelessly at for months, Hermione stormed back into the tent.

Ron looked taken aback. Okay, so he wasn't expecting her to run right into his arms even after the whole 'saving Harry' thing, but he didn't think she'd just walk off.

When she first rushed into the outside, Ron's first thought was utter relief. Harry would've told him if something had seriously happened to her, but it was still gratifying to see her for himself, from the looks of things mostly unharmed. And for a split second, Ron thought she looked relieved herself, before her face turned from shock to scorning anger in a matter of milliseconds. Ron found it rather amusing that he still found her intensely beautiful, even if he was about to experience her wrath.

But now, as she walked away from him, all Ron wanted was to feel her wrath, to its fullest extent if need be. It shattered his heart even more than he had expected when she just turned and ignored him. I've absolutely fucked it, he thought.

"Umm, maybe give her time." Harry suggested helplessly, he didn't envy Ron right now in the slightest to be on the bad end of Hermione's stick.

When Harry had told him to 'give her time', Ron wasn't quite sure either of them really knew how long 'time' would last. It had been weeks, and all Ron had gotten were murmurs of response - only when she absolutely had to speak to him.

Of course there was that one evening, in his first week back. But that had gone horribly wrong, and now Ron found it difficult to even look at her, the pain in his heart too large.

About a week ago:

Hermione still couldn't quite believe he was back. She was having more of a struggle than she had ever faced with his return. A hundred emotions hit her straight in the face every single time she even thought of him, let alone look at him. Obviously, she was pleased to see that he was okay; for weeks she had to just assume he was alive, no matter in what condition. And, in absolute spite of herself, she was… grateful to have his presence back. It was stupid, really, how could he protect her in anyway that she nor Harry could? And whether he would even want to after leaving them so easily was quite debatable. But Hermione couldn't explain it, not even to herself, she just felt safe with him. As if he shielded her from everything. And a small part of her heart wanted to believe he would, but why would he? She wasn't good enough for him, so how could she expect him to be there for her?

And then, of course, she was still unbelievably angry at him. Although, the anger seemed to transform into sadness of a colossal amount. Yes, he saved Harry and destroyed a Horcrux and found the sword. But that doesn't change the fact that he willingly left them, left her. The one thing she asked of him, the one thing that he promised was that he would stay with her. Forever. But he didn't. How was Hermione ever meant to trust him again? And if they didn't have trust, what did they have at all?

Another chilly January evening approached, and Hermione and Ron were in the tent whilst Harry took watch. Hermione was sitting at the large wooden table, examining the sword, whilst Ron sat on the sofa, seemingly doing nothing. Hermione wouldn't dare look up at him, she had a feeling that would lead to meeting his gaze; something she didn't have the strength to do.

Ron watched Hermione from his place on the sofa, he never realised the torturing heartache that would come from not speaking to her. Couldn't she feel that herself? Ron knew she'd be angry, devastated, disappointed and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't deserve her forgiveness. But Hermione was too much to lose, he was nothing without her. And she meant far too much to him to just walk away and happily ignore each other.

He was pondering his next move, she probably wouldn't talk to him. But he had to try, right? He didn't really want to bring up what he saw in the locket, although the reality of it not being mentioned seemed to be slipping out of his grasp.

"Hermione," he began, in a strangled voice.

Hermione pretended to ignore both Ron and the pang in her heart as he spoke her name with such...emotion.

Ron was saddened by the fact she ignored him but honestly couldn't say he was surprised.

"Hermione, please." He tried again, his own voice beginning to become shaky.

"What?" Hermione snapped, still not looking up at him.

"Please look at me."

Hermione huffed but grudgingly did as he asked, feeling her resolve annoyingly already weaken as she looked at his sad eyes.

Ron had a million things he wanted to say, but when she actually looked up at him, all coherent thought dissipated. "I-I'm sorry." Was all he managed.

"You've said." Hermione sighed, looking back down at the sword.

"No," Ron said softly, standing up to walk towards her. "I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry that I was such a dick wearing the locket, I'm really sorry that I didn't even listen to you when you tried to calm me down, I'm sorry that I made you scared of me - something that makes me feel sick inside. I'm sorry that I broke your trust and did the one thing you asked me not to, the one thing I swore to you I wouldn't do. I'm sorry that I couldn't find you sooner. I'm sorry that when I did return, it seemed that I was hoping all would be forgotten just because I dragged Harry from a lake. I'm sorry, Hermione-" He knelt down beside her "-that I hurt you." He took her hand gently.

Tears streamed down Hermione's face as she listened to him, tears that she didn't even try to stop. She looked at him as he knelt down, and for a moment all she wanted to do was to throw herself at him. The sincerity of his words struck her, but she was still, as he said, hurt. Too hurt.

"Ron, I," Ron looked up to see her tear stained face. For once he was hopeful. "As much as I appreciate your apology," Hermione continued through tears. Ron's heart sank as he anticipated a 'but'. "I just… don't know how I could trust you again." Her crying escalated as she made her confession.

Ron felt tears prick his own eyes a long time ago, and now they were rolling down his face freely. "But, Hermione-" he protested.

"No, Ron." Hermione stood and released his hand that she didn't even realise she had been clutching onto.

And with that, she walked around the table and into the bunkroom, not to be followed. The frequency of Ron's tears increased as he heard her footsteps trail away. This was it.

Back in reality now, Ron was sitting outside the tent. There was no need to be sat out for a watch at this time of day, but Ron couldn't bear being in that tent whilst Hermione was still giving him one hell of a cold shoulder.

Nobody spoke of that night, including Harry, who must've realised something had gone on. Ron replayed the few words Hermione had said to him that night, it stung beyond comprehension. She didn't trust him, and there was nothing he could do to prove to her he was worthy of her trust. Was he, even?

No, was the plain answer. And for all the time he had been back, Ron had been fighting two sides of an argument with his own mind. On one hand, he thought it best to do what Hermione deserved; to leave her alone; to ignore every and utter feeling he had ever had for her; to just stop and acknowledge that he would never be enough for her.

But there was the other side, the side that persistently reminded him that he could absolutely not lose Hermione. Even if it took every fibre of his being to earn her forgiveness, he would sooner waste away trying than live without her. And plus, Ron knew he needed to be there for Hermione, even if until the end of the war. Then, she could go and take her pick of all of the hundreds of men that Ron had no doubt would be at her feet by the time this all ended. Men who were clever, men who were able to hold a conversation with her about something she actually liked to talk about. Men who would have the pleasure of eliciting and witnessing the excited glint in her eyes as she spoke animatedly about something she was so passionate about. Men who would get to watch her beautiful smile grow wider with her happiness. Men who get to hear her endearing laugh, who get to enjoy her evergreen heart, who get to always wake up to the mesmerising hair that Ron would never understand her disdain for. Men, who might be somewhat worthy of Hermione - Ron doubted that anyone would ever actually be worthy of her, but there were definitely better options than sodding him. But, at the moment, he was all he could provide. So, until the moment she could find someone (if that's what she wanted to do) who was nearly as talented, nearly as intelligent, nearly as endearing, Ron would have to keep her going, as happy as he could try to make her.

And that's when a plan started to form…

"You can get that smirk right off your face," Ron joked at Harry, who was sitting on the threadbare sofa with a copy of the Quibbler in his hand.

They were planning to visit Xenophillius Lovegood in the week, an idea that split Hermione and Harry, leaving Ron to choose a side. Undoubtedly, he took Hermione's, which Harry understood, noticing and appreciating how hard Ron was trying to prove himself to Hermione, which is why he agreed to help Ron with this probably preposterous idea.

"What? I'm merely expressing my happiness about you two getting back on track," Harry replied nonchalantly, watching as Ron shoved a blanket into his rucksack.

"Well, don't get too excited, yet. Today probably won't even go to plan." Ron mused glumly.

"Well, why on earth not? It's not like your asking Hermione, who hasn't spoken properly to you in weeks, to just trust you and take your hand to a mysterious location in the midst of a war where you're both pretty hefty targets- oh wait!" Harry chuckled sarcastically.

"Git," Ron grumbled, but he smirked too.

In hindsight, this idea was ridiculous. If Hermione even agreed to it, which was highly unlikely, Ron could be placing the pair of them in an enormous amount of danger. But he wouldn't do that to Hermione. Not ever. So, the night before this Tuesday afternoon, Ron had taken Harry's invisibility cloak to set up some enchantments and protection charms around a clearing on a cliff that Hermione had gushed about visiting with her parents on a hike one summer's day, between leaving Hogwarts and staying at the Burrow. It was a miracle he had found the spot, really, but the only miracle he was praying for was that Hermione would at least go with him.

"Right," Ron sighed, as he looked determinedly towards the canvas sheet of the bunkroom, where he knew Hermione was. "Here goes nothing,"

"Good luck, mate." Harry added.

As expected, Hermione hadn't so much as batted an eyelid as Ron appeared though the canvas. She was sitting up on her bunk, going through notes made about the sword. With a timid sigh, Ron walked over.

"Uh, Hermione?" He attempted helplessly.

"Yes?" Hermione replied indifferently as she kept her attention trained on her notes. The cold facade was difficult to put up at the best of times, but as time wore on with Ron so close, yet so far away, Hermione's strength weakened every day.

"I know you're - uh - busy, right now, but d'you think you could come help me with something, please?"

Hermione sighed with obvious impatience, flopping down her notes onto the bed. "Help with what?" She tried hard not to let herself soften as she looked up into his eyes.

"Um, could you just follow me, please?"

"Follow you? Follow you, where?" Hermione had no idea what he was up to, and couldn't quite gauge how she felt about it.

"I know I've given you no reason, but can you trust me, I promise I know what I'm doing." Ron attempted, walking backwards slowly to the canvas.

"What's going on, Ron?" Hermione asked uneasily as she involuntarily followed him.

"Do you trust me?" He asked lamely, but his excitement was taking over, and he just needed to get her out with him.

"Seriously?" Hermione gave him an imploring look, however Ron was anticipating a much worse response.

"Fine. Do you trust Harry?" Ron asked, motioning towards their friend as they entered the living-kitchen area of the tent.

Harry offered an enthusiastic nod in assurance.

Hermione looked sceptically between the two boys. "Can someone just tell me what exactly is going on, please?"

Ron grabbed his rucksack from the floor, and headed towards the tent-opening, "well, are you coming?" He grinned, satisfied by Hermione's characteristically horrified face as she tried to understand what was happening.

"What? Ron, what are you doing?" She asked nervously. Ron realised that this picture probably looked bad, as him standing near the exit of the tent, asking if she would join him didn't have a great track record.

"No, no, it's not like that. We're coming back." He assured her, although Hermione didn't look even remotely convinced.

"Coming back? From where?"

"Well, I can't really tell you that. But I can promise you it's safe, even ask Harry." Ron looked to his friend for help again. This time, however, Hermione didn't even bother to look at Harry.

"Ron, will you just tell me what you're trying to do," Hermione demanded exasperatedly.

"Look, I've been a massive git, but I promise I wouldn't be such a prat that I'd risk something that could endanger you. Please?" This was his last, futile attempt.

Hermione eyed him apprehensively, as if contemplating what on earth she was to do next. After a few anticipating moments, she sighed, before defeatedly walking towards Ron.

Ron couldn't believe it. But he didn't have time to dwell on whatever miracle had just transpired to cause Hermione to actually consent to it.

"Well, are we going, then?" Hermione asked pointedly.

"Y-yes, of course, come on!" He exclaimed with excitement, leading her out of the tent.

"If whatever your planning goes wrong, Ronald Weasley, believe me when I say-"

"I promise, I really promise that nothing will go wrong. I wouldn't risk that for the world." Ron stated with intense seriousness, which Hermione had no power to respond to but nod.

Ron tentatively offered his hand to her for side-along apparition. Hermione took his hand hesitantly, and they were off.

Hermione gasped the second they landed, releasing her hand from Ron's to cover her mouth with shock. "Ron, what? What are we doing here?"

Ron shrugged, "I know you like this place," he offered.

Hermione shook her head before deterring her eyes from the beautiful view to look at him. "We can't be here,"

"No, don't worry, I set up the enchantments and stuff. Look," Ron held up his wand, and the dome that the protection spells created displayed around them.

Hermione looked around the dome with a face of awe, confusion, and worry. "Ron, why are we here?" She asked weakly. She remembered telling Ron vaguely about where she had come with her parents once, on a staycation before she went to the Burrow one summer, but she had no thought that it was worth mentioning, let alone remembering.

"I can't do this anymore, Hermione." Ron began, nerves rising.

Hermione just looked at him with a furrowed brow, not responding.

"I- I know that you have every right to hate me. And, I hate me right now, for ever hurting you. But I can't live like this, Hermione, as pathetic as it sounds, I can't live without-"

"Why did you leave?" Hermione interjected, her voice shaking already.

Ron's heart broke again as he looked into her glassy-looking eyes. He couldn't believe they hadn't actually discussed this before, but now it was time.

"I-"

"I just- I know that the locket spoke to you, but what did it say to you that was so horrendous that you had to leave me?" Hermione didn't even bother correcting her 'me' to an 'us'.

"Hermione, you need to know that I tried the second I could to get back to you, I just couldn't find you, I-"

"That's not what I'm asking, Ron, I'm asking why you left in the first place." Hermione clarified through tears.

"The locket, the stupid fucking locket. It's such a shit excuse. But… what it was saying… just felt so real."

Hermione allowed him a moment to resume his explanation.

"Told me that you two were better off without me, that I was just the dead weight. And I believed it, still do, but I could deal with that, as horrible as it was. But then-" Ron took a deep breath, "-then it started going on about you and Harry, and how good you'd be together, how much you could offer each other, how much he could offer you. And just how little I could offer you. And of course, I believed that one, too, but it was just so much harder for me to take - I mean, it was true, still is, really. Harry could give you so much more than I could ever even dream of, and even if it wasn't Harry, it could be anyone. Guess I just got so bloody angry at something I couldn't control, something I couldn't do anything about, I.."

Hermione walked over to Ron until she stood closer to him than he could even remember, at this point.

"Ron,"

Ron looked resolutely to the grassy floor beneath them.

"Ron, look at me," Hermione instructed, Ron obliged, feeling overwhelmed by just how close they were to each other.

"That locket completely lied to you, about so many things. Harry needs you, more than anyone, I'm sure of. I need you more than anyone, without a doubt. And, you are all I could ever need, I don't care about what you think you can or cannot 'offer' me, Ron, all I need is you. Just you. Not a single soul else. Do you understand?"

"But, Hermione, there'll be hundreds of blokes that deserve you more than I ever will, you could have anyone-"

Hermione shook her head incredulously. "I don't want anyone else, Ron, I want you. How much clearer can I make it?"

Ron chuckled with a wide grin, before wrapping his arms around Hermione's waist. "Seriously?"

"Yes," Hermione whined with exasperation, as she wrapped her own arms around Ron's neck and gently rested her forehead against his. "Why do we put each other through this?" She asked weakly.

"Dunno," Ron answered, slowly tracing patterns over Hermione's back with his hand.

Hermione hugged him properly; her face buried in his neck. "I've missed you so, so incredibly much."

Ron held her tighter. "I missed you, too." He sighed, thanking every luck star of his that this was actually happening...until he remembered that even though this was miraculous, it was also awfully timed. "Harry has no idea how much he owes me for this."

Hermione giggled; understanding exactly what Ron meant. "We better get back to him, and that war-thing," she said with sarcastic nonchalance.

"Oh yeah, that pesky war, it's like shit on my shoe." Ron joined in with the joke.

Hermione laughed, before pulling away so they could apparate.

"You'll never understand how happy I am that you're back." She stated sincerely.

Ron's playful expression grew serious. "I'll never leave you again. Ever."

Hermione, unsurprisingly, felt a lump rise in her throat. "I know. I believe you." She all but whispered.

"Come on," Ron sighed, "before I do something that I probably won't regret, but probably won't be very helpful during the war, either."

Hermione smiled. Even with everything going on, even with everything ahead, she didn't think she could feel any happier.