At 32 weeks along, Andrew and I attended an afternoon long childbirth class at UC Health Hospital, where I planned to have the baby. Halfway through the four-hour session, the instructor let us take a break, pointing us to a table of snacks and refreshments. As I made small talk with some of the other expecting mothers, I repeatedly noticed that women were shocked I was so far along, noting my small stomach.
It certainly didn't feel small, but when I looked around and recalled how far along different people had told me they were, I was comparatively small. I was hardly able to focus on the instructor for the remainder of the session, suddenly worried that something was wrong. My last prenatal visit had been just shy of a month ago, and though everything was normal then, certainly something could've changed.
I was quiet on the drive home, which Andrew noticed. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I don't know." I croaked, barely holding it together at that point, my fears starting to paralyze me.
Andrew took note of my tone and pulled off the road into a Lowe's parking lot. He pulled into an empty spot in the back, putting the car in park and turning towards me. "Talk to me, baby." He implored, taking one of my hands in his own and running his thumb soothingly over the top.
I meet his gaze, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "I'm worried something is wrong with the baby. I'm too small for this far along."
"What makes you think that?"
"Almost every woman at that session. None of them said it directly, but it was implied."
"Every woman is different, babe. The doctor said everything looked great at your last appointment."
"That was three weeks ago." I reminded, to which he sighed.
He let go of my hand, placing his own on my stomach and obviously able to feel our daughter moving inside. "She's certainly making her presence known." He smiled, but it faded as he met my eyes again, my brown orbs surely showing uncertainty. "Hey, I know I don't know enough to be able to assuage the fears filling your mind right now, but so far your pregnancy has been healthy. Your next appointment is in a few days and we can talk to your doctor then, but please try not to worry too much until we do."
"Ok." I nodded slowly. Andrew took my chin between his thumb and index, turning my face towards his and placing a reassuring kiss on my lips.
Sure enough, two days later at my prenatal visit, the doctor confirmed that everything was fine. I was on the low end of the weight gain and belly circumference scales, but I was within normal limits. And though perhaps it could be considered silly, since I can feel our daughter moving all the time now, seeing her on the monitor during the ultrasound was reassuring.
####
Over the next month, I went into nesting mode. All of the clothes that had been purchased so far were washed and hung in Stella's closet in size order. I got the bassinet set up in the corner of the master bedroom, ready for when we brought our little girl home from the hospital. Not that the house was ever overly messy since I'd been staying at home and was able to keep up with things, but I gave every room a deep cleaning. I prepped the guest room and en suite bath upstairs for Megan, Andrew's sister, who would be coming to Denver for Thanksgiving. I also finished all of my Christmas shopping, knowing that with a due date of December 10th, I likely wouldn't have time to do much shopping that month.
The week before Thanksgiving, Andrew flew to DC for a conference at Quantico. As much as I wished I could tag along, I was 37 weeks along and couldn't fly. It turned out to be a good thing I stayed behind though, because the day after Andrew left, I got a call from Keely's school nurse, asking me to come pick her up. I called ahead to her pediatrician's office on my way to the school, asking if they had an opening for later that morning since I knew Keely would need a doctor's note for missing volleyball practice that afternoon.
Her pediatrician suspected strep, which was confirmed by a rapid strep test done in the office. She told me Keely would need to stay home for 24 hours once she started antibiotics later that day, news that Keely was not at all thrilled to hear. "But it's the week before break, I have tests!" She complained with a hoarse voice.
"I'm sorry, sweetie." I said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as we waited for the doctor to print her prescriptions. "Your teachers will understand. Even if you didn't have strep, you would've had to stay home for 24 hours anyway since you had a fever in the nurses office." She frowned at that, looking equally defeated and annoyed.
Arriving back at home, I got Keely settled on the couch with the TV remote and lots of blankets to curl up with. We spent the afternoon and evening watching movies, taking turns picking… She's the Man, Devil Wears Prada, Mrs. Doubtfire and so on. I made homemade chicken noodle soup and mashed sweet potatoes for dinner, which was easy and soothing for Keely to swallow. She fell asleep on the couch in the middle of The Hobbit, and though I loathed to wake her, I knew she would sleep better upstairs. She also needed to take another dose of medicine before she passed out for the evening.
####
I slept terribly that evening, waking in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, per usual, but then unable to go back to sleep. My back ached, I couldn't find a comfortable position, and I missed having Andrew there to curl up with. At 5am I finally called it quits, crawling out of bed. I made my way upstairs, checking on Keely and pleased to see her sleeping soundly. Meandering back down to the kitchen, I made myself a cup of tea and headed back to the bedroom. I had just grabbed a book from my nightstand and settled on the chaise when my phone went off. It was a text from Andrew, wishing me a good morning and asking how Keely was doing. Seeing as I knew he was probably still at the hotel, I decided to give him a call.
"Well this is a pleasant surprise." The sound of Andrew's voice was immediately relaxing. "What are you doing up?"
"I couldn't sleep. I finally just decided to get up a few minutes ago."
"Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, everything is fine, I just couldn't get comfortable. I missed my body pillow." I remarked half teasingly.
"Ah, my apologies, love." I could hear the smile in his voice. "How is Keely?"
"Still sleeping. She's not happy about missing school today but she needs the rest. She sounds miserable, but we got her fever down last night with Tylenol and the antibiotics should start taking affect today. I'll wake her at 7am for her next dose."
"Thanks for taking care of her. I'll be in meetings up until 2pm today, but I'll call on the break so that I can talk to her for a bit. I should go get some breakfast before I head into Quantico."
"Ok, drive safe. I love you."
"I love you, too."
####
When Keely woke up that morning, I made us both smoothies for breakfast, making some eggs and toast to go along with mine. After breakfast, Keely wanted to study for a bit, in hopes that she could return to school tomorrow for the last day before break and make-up a few of her tests. I spent a few hours helping her review, and when she felt fully prepared, we settled back on the couch to watch reruns of Golden Girls.
A few episodes in, I had to get up and walk around. My back was still aching, and I was starting to get cramps in my lower abdomen. "Are you ok?" Keely asked, seeming to notice my discomfort.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I think I just have Braxton Hicks but moving around a bit should help." I assured, but an hour later nothing had changed. Needing to use the restroom again, I excused myself to the master bath and was mortified when I noticed drops of blood on my underwear.
I immediately called my doctor, explaining my symptoms and she recommended I come into the hospital. I tried to call Andrew next, but got his voicemail. I knew he was in meetings most of the day and likely had his phone on silent. I called Derek next.
"What's up, princess?" He answered.
"Derek, can you come stay with Keely?" My tone was laced with urgency, which Derek immediately noticed.
"Of course, I'll be right there. Is everything ok?"
"No, I need to go to the hospital. My doctor thinks I might be in labor, but either way I need to get checked out."
"Ok, we'll be there in ten." I forgot he would have Hank with him, suddenly feeling bad since Keely was sick, but he hung up before I could mention it.
I changed my clothes and grabbed my hospital bag from the closet. I had packed it last week, but never expected to potentially need it so soon. Taking a few deep breathes, I tried not to panic. I texted Andrew, telling him to call me as soon as possible. Walking back out into the living room, Keely gave me a curious look.
"Keely, Derek and Hank are going to…" I was cut off by the doorbell ringing. "Are here to stay with you for a bit." I finished, going to open the door. I was surprised when I saw not only Derek and Hank, but Savannah on the other side. Derek noted my surprise.
"You can decide whether you want Savannah or I to go with you, but one way or another you aren't going to the hospital alone." He said firmly as they made their way inside.
"Kee!" Hank yelled when he say Keely making her way over to us.
"You're going to the hospital?" Keely approached, looking nervous.
"Yeah, sweetie. I need to go." I looked back to Derek and Savannah, torn on who I wanted to come. Derek was my former partner, I trusted him with my life and he'd seen me at my worst in the field. But Savannah, she was not only a friend but a mother. Plus, working at the hospital she was familiar with some of the staff and would best know how to advocate on my behalf if necessary. It was that factor that ultimately had me choosing her.
An hour later, my OB had confirmed I was in the early stages of labor, 100% effaced and 2 cm dilated. She set me up in a room in the L&D department and told me to feel free to walk around, get comfortable, whatever I needed to do. Voicing my panic over the fact I was only 37 weeks along, she assured that while I was early, it was perfectly safe for the baby to be delivered, but just in case there were any problems after delivery, there would be a NICU team standing by.
A few minutes after Dr. Bennett left, my phone rang. "Andrew."
"I'm so sorry, babe." Were the first words he said.
My resolve broke a little, hearing his voice. "It's not your fault, this wasn't supposed to happen yet. Can you get on a flight out?"
"I got something even better. JJ's driving me to the airfield now and I'm getting on the jet."
"What? How?" I asked in disbelief.
"You'll have to ask Garcia and Rossi."
"You know what, I don't even care right now. I just want you here."
"I'll be there as soon as I can, I promise. I love you so much, Emily."
####
Just over four and a half hours later, I cried tears of relief when I saw Andrew's face in the doorway of my room. Savannah smiled at him, excusing herself and telling me to keep her updated and let her know when we'd like her to bring Keely by. I thanked her profusely before she left, grateful for her presence and encouragement the past few hours.
Andrew took her place beside the bed, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. "I'm so glad you're here." I said, taking his hand and squeezing as another contraction came on.
"How are you feeling, love." He asked after the contraction had passed.
"Tired, but it's manageable so far. The doctor was just in a few minutes ago, I'm 7cm dilated so hopefully not much longer now."
For the next six hours, Andrew massaged my lower back between contractions, walked the circle around the delivery ward with me countless times, and pressed cold compresses to my forehead. Finally, the doctor told me I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing.
"Holy mother of hell, I didn't know anything could hurt so much." I screamed as I bore down through what felt like the thousandth contraction. "Getting staked was a breeze compared to this." If the doctors and nurses in the room exchanged curious glances at that remark, I didn't take notice.
"You're doing so great, Emily!" Andrew encouraged, brushing sweaty bangs off my brow and placing a kiss there.
"I hate you so much right now." I said between panting breaths.
"I know, it's ok." He assured. "Just think of our little girl, Em. Think of Stella." It was that reminder that had me pushing again and seconds later the most beautiful cry filled the room.
"Congratulations!" Dr. Bennett said as she placed our daughter on my chest where a nurse had laid a blanket. The world practically stopped then, my sole focus on the precious, breathing life in my arms.
"Hello, my sweet girl." I whispered, tears of joy falling down my cheeks. Andrew's lips pressed to my hair, one hand coming to rest over mine on Stella's head. I look up to meet his eyes, smiling wider than I thought possible before leaning in for a kiss. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He replies, voice full of emotion as we both turn our attention back to our daughter. "She's beautiful."