Hey, beauties :)

By the time Jace and Clary got back to the house, their clothes had mostly dried off, although there was still an uncomfortable feeling of wet socks and shoes. Her hair was a complete mess and it was going to take her a solid hour to drag a brush through it, and her feet were probably going to smell from being in the wet shoes so she was going to have to wash them well when she got back to Luke's. Clary couldn't bring herself to care though, because she felt the best that she had felt in too long and she could feel that Jace was the same.

Their bond was pulsing and her wolf was practically purring and the weight on her shoulders just felt as though it was gone.

The werewolves had only been in the water for a short while, not really long enough for their bodies to adapt to the temperature, even though that would only have taken a couple of minutes. Jace had dropped her into the water and Clary had gasped in surprise, heaving in a breath before she had lunged at him and wrestled him under a wave. He could have put up more of a fight, but he hadn't, and they had both sunk back under the water, Clary's body suspended above his, and his fingers had reached out and were gently touching her hips, and it hadn't felt as though she was tied to him by a leash or a chain, it felt as though they were connected by a swaying thread that had some give, enough to make sure she didn't feel restrained.

They had gotten out of the water almost immediately after, and they had run all the way back, no being anywhere near as careful as they should have been on the slippery rocks that lined the stream, but as werewolves, they knew that they would heal fast if they got hurt, and they were sure-footed as they ran over the rocks, hands gripped together.

"Did you want to change?" Jace asked as they stepped back into the barn house. "I don't have the plumbing or anything all hooked up for a shower, but there will be some towels around if you want to dry off." Clary couldn't help but smile, because the absolute last thing that she wanted right now was wash off the smell of salt and fresh air and happiness and maybe a little bit of her mate off her skin.

"Just a towel, that'd be fine," Clary replied as she went to where she had folded her clothes and put the boots that she had come in, picking them up and following slowly after Jace as he went into the next room. Jace had a few things in the room which looked like it would maybe be the master once it was done, because it was big with an en-suite and had big double windows already installed, even if the frame wasn't finished yet. "This place looks like it's going to be beautiful when you're done," she commented as he picked up a towel from a pile of them on a chair, holding it out to her.

"I hope so," Jace commented idly as she took the towel. "You can just get dressed in here."

"Thanks," she flashed him a small smile and Jace stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him to give her some privacy. She had dried off a little on their run back, especially her hair, so she didn't take long once she undressed to towel herself off and change back into the clothes that she arrived in, although of course her bra and underwear were still damp underneath. Clary scrubbed the towel through her long hair as she walked over to re-open the door. "What did you want me to do with the wet clothes?" She asked, head turning in the direction of where she could hear Jace moving, although she couldn't see him. He appeared a moment later with two apples in his hand, the other hand extended.

"I can take them," he said. "I'll hang them over the railing so they can dry."

"I can do it," Clary raised an eyebrow at him with a smile and walked around his outstretched hand, heading through the open sliding door and onto the deck. She hung the clothes over the wooden railing, spreading them out so that they had a better chance of drying, and she could feel Jace's movements behind her more than she could hear him, given how quietly he seemed to move. There was a tap against her bicep and when she tilted her head down, she saw one of the apples that Jace had been holding, and she took it from him, turning back to him and taking a bite.

"Do you want to sit down?" Jace asked, nodding at the steps and Clary agreed, sitting down and turning her body half around so that she was leaning against the wooden railing behind her and facing him partially with a tilt of her head. Jace sat on the other side of the top step, leaning against the other railing, but he wasn't that far away, and his leg was stretching out, only a couple of inches away from hers.

"Thanks," Clary tipped the apple at him before taking another bite, and Jace just smiled. They fell quiet as they ate, just looking out over the grass around the barn house and the woods beyond that. "So you said that this was your mums place, right? But you didn't live here when you growing up? I can still feel you here, though. I can—I mean, it feels like you here. Not just you now," she scrunched up her nose at that, as though she didn't quite understand what she was saying, but Jace smiled easily.

"Yeah," he answered softly. "The main house was where my mum grew up, where her family lived. This barn house has been here since before she was born, but no one had really done anything with it in years. When I became Alpha, I decided that I needed to start over somewhere, I needed my own space to grow and develop and I think that those who chose to stay in my pack did as well." Clary was watching him carefully, nose twitching a little as she chewed on a mouthful of apple. "My mum used to bring me out here when we were younger, and after she died, Maryse used to still bring me and Alec and Izzy out here to see my grandparents. It was too painful for my father to come out here, in a place where everything was overrun by the scent of my mother." Jace's words were even, although his scent was tinged with sadness, an old sadness that had been accepted a long time ago. "They left everything to my mother, and she left everything to me, so it just made sense for me to move here after my father passed. It had always been like a second home to me." Clary nodded and took another bite of her apple, not sure what to say. They were quiet for a while before Jace pulled his fingers through his hair. "Your friend from New York has arrived," he said, as a statement, not a question, changing the topic. Clary blinked at the shift and then quickly swallowed her mouthful.

"He has," she replied. "It's good having him here. He's helped me a lot over the years, he's my best friend," she couldn't help but smile. "I don't think Luke was quite prepared to have him in the house—he talks a lot."

"Adds to a home," Jace murmured and Clary smile grew, even though she felt her cheeks warm.

"Yeah, it does," she nodded, because it was true. "Although, Luke's pack is a bit older than your pack, I think." Clary's eyes narrowed slightly as she thought. "I mean, not that I know all of your pack, but just the ones I've met." There was a shift in the scent from Jace that Clary really didn't want to think about right now, so she didn't, taking another bite of her apple.

"What do you do in New York?" Jace asked and Clary glanced at him in surprise, because it was such a normal question. It was a question that people asked when trying to get to know someone, to become friends, and it felt easy.

"I have a degree in Communications and Public Relations, which is kind of ironic, given I try to avoid talking face to face with people in my job as much as possible," Clary grinned as she made herself more comfortable, sliding down a bit lower on the wooden step, and her leg slipped a bit closer to Jace's, their ankles brushing together. "I didn't know what my endgame, or whatever, was when I first went to college, and so I got partway through a couple of courses and then changed my mind a few times before I finally settled on this, but I actually really like it. I work for a bit event planning company, and I do most of the background stuff, which means I don't have to deal with clients directly as much."

"Do you work with anyone like us?" Jace asked, looking curious, and Clary shook her head, nose wrinkling a little.

"All humans," she replied. "There was someone in the same building as me who was something else, but I never worked out what. I think they might have been seelie, or had seelie blood in them, but they were only there for a couple of months when I first started." She tilted her head to the sides a few times. "Sometimes I think it would be easier if I did work with people who were like us, it definitely means that there would be some more respect for things that we could hear and smell—" there was a laugh from Jace at that. "But it's okay. I like it. And there are others outside of work that are like me. Us."

"Yeah?" Jace prompted gently.

"Yeah," Clary nodded. "I mean, there's Si. He's a warlock, which you know."

"The one that you said was 'totally harmless'," Jace commented with an amused, arched eyebrow that Clary knew was asking for more information, because no warlock was 'totally harmless'.

"He wouldn't hurt me, or anyone who meant anything to me," Clary told him. "And he knows who you are to me, who your..." Clary couldn't help but trail off and frown for a moment, and she moved her leg back, tucking it underneath her so that her ankle was no longer against Jace's, and she tried to ignore the way her wolf immediately started whining at the loss of contact. "Who your pack are to me. I mean, totally harmless wasn't quite the right way to describe it, but..."

"It's okay," Jace shot her a small smile. "I trust your judgement." Clary's chest tightened for a moment as their eyes met, and her wolf settled a bit in her chest, happy at the acknowledgement from the Alpha, before she dropped her eyes again.

"When it's the full moon, I'll run with Gabriel and his pack. They're the biggest New York pack, Luke is friends with him and he made sure that they were looking out for me when I first went there. It's not—it's not the same as running with my pack, but it's still good," Clary trailed off again, because technically, Jace's pack was her pack. As an Alpha and as her mate, she would eventually be expected to join his pack, to leave the pack she had grown up in—even though it had morphed into something different than what she had actually grown up with—and become part of the Herondale pack. "Um, and there's Raph as well. He's a vampire." There was another arched eyebrow from Jace and Clary couldn't stop a short laugh. "Yeah, I know, but he's been incredible. Him and Simon are friends, although Si is a lot younger than him."

"He's the one we could smell in your apartment?" Jace asked and Clary nodded slowly, hoping that he wasn't about to ask more about her relationship with Raphael, because that would get uncomfortable. "I'm glad you have people watching your back out there, Clary," he said quietly, which caught her off guard and made her face him.

"Yeah, I do," Clary nodded and she smiled across at him. "But, I mean..." her smile changed to something more intimate. "There's nothing like being home, you know?"

"I know," Jace nodded and he extended his leg further, like a question. Clary's eyes were drawn to his leg, which was now a lot closer to her, and she didn't unfold her legs like they were before, so that their ankles were brushing, but she leaned forward and braced her arm against the deck, and her forearm was pressed against the outside of her leg. She felt the warmth, and she felt the tingles run through her body at the close contact, and part of her wanted to look up at Jace and see if he felt the same way that she did, but she forced herself not to, looking out toward the forest.

"So...Alec, is he actually your second?" Clary asked, hoping that her question didn't come off as offensive, so she spoke carefully. "I mean, I know he's your cousin, and you guys are obviously close from what I've heard—and from what I've seen—but there's just...I don't know." She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, and nibbled at the bottom of the apple core before putting it down on the deck. "Maia just has a certain power about her," she shrugged as she glanced over at Jace, and she was surprised when she saw him looking back at her with an almost proud smile on his face.

"A lot of people think that Alec is my second," Jace told her. "And I guess in some ways he is. Most packs have a clear second-in-command. But I—" he pursed his lips and shrugged a shoulder. "But Alec and Maia both act as my second." Clary's met Jace's eyes at that, because she had never heard of that before. There was an Alpha, and then an Alpha's mate who held a position almost equivalent to that of the Alpha, and then there was a second.

"Why?" Clary asked, and her voice was a bit stronger now, since it seemed as though Jace was open to discussing the intricacies of his pack. Jace smiled again, and he twisted around, leg pressed firmly against her arm.

"Alec and I grew up together. We are both born werewolves, our parents are werewolves who were all part of the same pack, so we learnt together, we shifted within the first year of full moons together, we fought together, we shared the same pains and joys as we grew up," he told her, and his voice was easy, the trust clear, which made Clary's wolf practically purr inside her ribs. "I always knew that I was going to be Alpha, eventually, although I never knew—I didn't know how soon it would be," his tone dropped for a moment and Clary knew that it had been a heavy day for both of them, and he was thinking about his father again. "But my wolf always knew that it was going to be Alec by my side. I trust him with everything I have."

"But then Maia came along..." Clary prompted him with a slight smirk.

"Maia is different from Alec. Alec thinks about things logically and carefully, he balances me out well, because sometimes I have the tendency to just—run straight into the middle of situations," he let out a rueful smile. "I'm not so bad now, but I was when I was younger. Maia reminds me a lot of who I used to be, and sometimes I still need that reminder. She's an incredible fighter, and she's smart and passionate, and her and Alec have a good bond. We make a good team. I'm really lucky to have them." Clary couldn't help her smile.

Jace spoke like a true leader, a good Alpha.

Clary had seen all signs of that today.

She couldn't help but lean in and share with him. They moved to lighter topics—Clary told Jace about some of the projects that she had worked on recently, and it had been surprisingly easy to tell him about the girl in her office who regularly had phone sex with her long distance boyfriend. Jace wrinkled his nose and let out a laugh that made Clary's shoulders feel loose. Jace told her about doing freelance architecture work, something that he had always planned on doing, even before he became an Alpha, and about a very interesting couple who wanted lots of mirrored walls and sturdy posts to be placed throughout the house in specific places. She told him about a hybrid cat that she had come across on the last full moon who had hissed at her, and who she'd actually had a lot of fun chasing, and Jace told her about a time when he was in school where he nearly lost control because Isabelle told him that Dumbledore died before he had gotten to the end of the Harry Potter books.

It felt easy and familiar, and it wasn't until Clary's phone vibrated with a message from Simon, asking how things were going and when she thought she'd be back that she realized that she'd been with Jace for nearly four hours.

"Shit," she blinked down at her phone and shook her head. "I didn't realize how long I'd been here."

"That's fine," Jace told her, and the wind was ruffling his hair and his contented scent made her nose flare and smile to herself. It was the first time that she actually let herself breathe it in and wash over her, the deep earthy tones mixed together with the dark chocolate scent that was just on the right side of bitter made her shiver a little. She tried to cover it up by standing up and clearing her throat.

"I should probably head off," Clary told him, and Jace was on his feet before she was, extending a hand to her. Clary took it, letting him help her to a standing position, and after checking her pockets and making sure she had her things, they started walking toward her mums car.

There was still a lot up in the air.

There was still a lot that wasn't discussed, in relation to where they stood and what their future was going to be.

But Clary felt as though what they had done today was a good step forward.

"I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry again," Clary's voice was quiet as she stood by the open drivers door of the car, eyebrows pulling together, and her eyes were glued to Jace's bare feet in the grass. "About your dad, and what you went through, and—and my part in it. Or my lack of part in it, I guess." Jace didn't say anything, but his scent wasn't angry, and after a few beats passed, she lifted her chin and looked up at him and Jace was already reaching out for her. His hand was gentle, resting against the side of her neck, and her heartbeat that she hadn't even realized had quickened began to slow back down. He didn't say anything as he met her gaze, his fingers tightening just a little against the back of her neck before he leaned in and brushed his lips against her cheek before he took a step back. Clary swallowed hard as his hand left her neck, falling back to his side, and she knew that he was watching the way her eyes were tracking his hand and it made her face heat up.

She gave him a quick smile and got in her car, and as she drove away, she could see that he was still standing there and watching her until she disappeared down the driveway and into the trees.

So obviously it's been a while, and there's a lot of songs that I haven't recommended! I've just decided to log into that website thing that shows your top tracks, so these are my short term top ten. 1) She - Harry Styles. 2) Radio - Lana Del Rey. 3) Living Proof - Camila Cabello. 4) Hazel - Carlie Hanson. 5) September Song - JP Cooper. 6) We Made It - Louis Tomlinson. 7) All My Friends - AJ Mitchell. 8) The Sound - The 1975. 9) Wrong Direction - Hailee Steinfield. 10) Dazed & Confused - Ruel. Bonus song would be You Should Be Sad by Halsey, which is fucking amazing, so far my second favourite of the released tracks from Manic.

There's been a lot of amazing TV shows that have recently come out; The Witcher/His Dark Materials/Watchmen/The Mandalorian. These are all amazing, incredible acting, the sets and scenery and costume design is just A+. Also Spinning Out was really good, I absolutely loved Mandy and Marcus. I love when there are strong side characters that I can fall in love with, and it had good story lines.

I've also been to a couple of concerts that were great; Greta Van Fleet, Ruel, Shawn Mendes and Khlaid. All bloody brilliant.

Now. I don't want to say much about how shit 2020 has been because we're only 14 days in and holy shit, I feel like there's a lot going on. A fucking lot. For me, what hits closest to home is Australia on fire. On the fifth of January our skies turned an apocalyptic orange because the winds changed and the smoke reached us here in New Zealand. I just want to say to everyone who is dealing with anything right now—it doesn't matter how big or small—I love you and you're not alone x

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