Hello everyone! I am back with a new chapter!
This is new chapter only possible because of the great help and support I have received from my new Beta-reader Carrie2sky. I am working hard to make sure that a new update will happen soon.
I hope you are all keeping yourselves safe and healthy through this challenging time with Covid-19. :)
-Scamasax
Chapter 19 – 'One broken Jedi cannot save you from the darkness there is to come' – Darth Sion
The future was a burning bridge behind him when he stood there before the void.
He breathed in deeply once more, an overwhelming feeling of doubt pressed down on his chest as if it hesitated on the very edge of the abyss created by his choice.
It was too late to turn back now, and it had been too late the moment he stepped into this unholy place. It was useless to have last regrets now, but they still pulled at him while the cold seeped into his skin.
'What had I been thinking, coming here?' He thought, despite knowing that every other possibility had been exhausted, and this was the last chance he had to win this war.
If he was honest with himself, then the truth of the matter was, that if he had known the price of this bargain before he came here, he doubted that he would have had the courage to cross that threshold. Because, even in his darkest moment, he had not been able to imagine a deeper nightmare than the fate that awaited him after the bargain was completed.
He could not think of a more horrifying cost.
But he had to agree to the Sith's terms, he had to, because this was not just about him. This bargain was about everyone he ever loved. Han would not have met such an end if he had not crossed Luke's path. Beru would still be alive and well on Tatooine. Chewie would not have been thrown into that merciless pit if he never met Luke.
… and Leia…
Force… Leia.
He could never forgive himself for what had happened to her.
Every time he looked at that black memory for just a second, he felt like something within him curled up and died. He knew exactly who was responsible for Leia's dark fate. She had been the best friend he ever had, and what had her reward been for her loyalty and her love?
He had betrayed her.
Luke breathed in to release the sudden tightness in his throat. 'Focus, you need this pain' he told himself. 'Remember her, remember all of them. Remember why you are doing this.'
There was no going back now.
The bridge behind him had already burned.
The skeleton of its structure had collapsed completely and left a hallowed husk in its place as a macabre replacement. The aftermath of the Siths' unspeakable act was breath-taking in its cruelty. He could only barely tear his eyes away from it, knowing that he was the cause.
He knew in his heart that nothing would never again be as it once was.
But still, even knowing this inescapable fact, the price of this impossible gamble hung like an axe over his head. No matter what happened, if he succeeded or not, there was no going back from this moment. He could only go forward.
The bargain had to be kept.
So had the price.
The thought of it alone made him feel cold all over and his heartbeat rise in his chest. He wanted to run, despite the fact that he knew that there was nowhere left to run. He was afraid and he hated the fact that the Sith had the power to make him feel like this.
Wasn't he supposed to be beyond fear by now?
He showed the Sith none of this. The mask of indifference occupied Luke's features like an unyielding wall. He suppressed the fear like he had done so many times before now, and forced himself to feel nothing but the determination that brought him here to this place where the light feared to enter.
He would not run, even if he could.
He was many things, but he was not a coward, and he would not let the galaxy plunge into a second darkness if there was still a chance to save it.
These thoughts were useless in this place and this time anyway. The destination was already made, the mark complete and the bargain set in stone. He steeled his spine, to set out to the path he had agreed to walk alone all the way down to the end.
He would just have to forget what waited for him at the end of this path. It was too horrible to think of.
But even if he succeeded, then what? Didn't he wrap another noose around the fate of the galaxy in place of the old one Sidious had spun over the years from lies, deceit and hate?
He knew the Sith had been right, when it said the words the first time. He was not saving the past.
He was breaking it.
The Force forgive him, but he had to do this.
He had to.
::::
'Yoda is dead.' That impossible thought looped mercilessly in Fives as he strongly pulled the Sith after him. The Sith was like a dead weight. The strength he had to wield to pull Vader along made it feel like he was dragging the sith behind him, not pulling him by the wrist.
Vader was unresponsive, but Vader's wrist was cold and the pulse was drumming against Fives palm at an insane pace. Vader's eyes stared out at nothing and only moved when Fives forced him; his breath was fast and shallow.
Fives knew what that meant.
Vader was going into shock.
'Yoda is dead!' The impossible thought persisted, louder and louder like it was screaming at him from all sides at once. Fives had seen it with his own eyes, but he still could not understand what had just happened. Yoda had lived for almost a millennium. A world where Master Yoda was not alive-
It was simply...Impossible.
The consequences of it hits him like he had run straight into a wall. Yoda was dead and he had no delusion who his death was going to be pinned on. He shot a look at Vader who had simply stopped like a doll with its string cut when Fives running steps had staggered to a halt.
"… It wasn't supposed to be like this," Vader whispered and his blank eyes looked out at nothing. Fives did not think Vader was speaking to him, it was like Vader wasn't… there. Vader's eyes were blank, his breathing was even faster now, he was going sickly pale and the wrist underneath his tight grip was colder still.
Damn it!
Why did everything have to be so hard!
Fives started moving again, but not before moving his hand from Vader's wrist to his upper arm.
Fives had to get them both out of there before the Jedi came swarming to the spot where Yoda-
He cut the thought off harshly. He could not afford to think about that right now. The grip on Vader's arm became so rough that it would most likely leave a bruise, but Vader did not react to it at all. He did not even blink.
"Vader, move!"
::::
"It is all right Padawan, you are not in trouble," Knight Skywalker said when Caleb felt like the world was ending, he hoped that the depth of his misery was not broadcasted to everyone, but he feared that it was, because everyone looked at him with so much pity.
Why did they look at him like that? They should not look at him like that, because this was all his fault. If he had not told Master Yoda about the yellow-eyed Jedi Knight 'Solo', then Master Yoda... then Yoda might not have died.
They kept asking the same questions about The Jedi with the yellow eyes. Jedi Knight Skywalker was being kind. He said that what had happened wasn't Caleb's fault.
They said it wasn't his fault.
It was a lie.
He knew it was a lie, because why else would he feel horrible like this? There was a tightness in his chest and it was hard to breathe as if something was pressing down on his lungs. It felt difficult to swallow, his mouth was dry and all he could see was the same image in his head.
Master Yoda's unmoving body on the ground.
It had all happened because of him. The Jedi killer. That yellow-eyed man that pretended he was Caleb's friend. He did that horrible thing to Master Yoda.
"Will Master Yoda be ok?" he asked with trepidation because he knew the answer, but he desperately wanted Knight Skywalker to say something else. To tell him that Master Yoda was going to be okay. He looked from Knight Skywalker to the other Jedi, but no one met his pleading eyes.
No one answered.
:::
This was all wrong.
He was supposed to make things better, not-
Luke breathed in trying to calm himself, but he could not quite unclench his clammy fists as he tried to keep pace with Fives who was pulling him roughly along with him through the narrow street. It was like Luke was walking in a fog. He saw shapes move past him as he put one foot in front of the other.
What had he done? He was here to change things for the better, not make a bad situation horribly worse.
Yoda was dead.
Luke had felt the Jedi Master's bright presence in the Force go out… and he was supposed to have lived for at least twenty more years. Every second, Luke hoped he would wake from this horrifying nightmare. But the same thought looped endlessly in his mind.
If he had never come back into this past, then Yoda would still be alive.
'I murdered Yoda,' he thought and knew it to be true and that realization felt like knives in his heart. 'If I had not come here, he would have lived.' It was a cruel truth that became the more horrifying the more it glared back at him. He and Yoda had not been on the best terms in the end, but seeing this timeline, Luke understood the Jedi a lot better.
He knew what it was like to witness your entire life go up in flames.
Luke's back hit the wall, but he barely felt the impact even when the back of his head collided with the hard surface. The world was a blurred mess, even the man with his hands fisted into his clothes was somehow far away in another world that didn't concern him.
The image of Yoda's motionless body played on a macabre repeat in his head.
'This is wrong,' he thought as he noted Fives enraged face close to him and the coldness from the wall seeped through his cloak. 'Wasn't I supposed to save everything, and everyone?' The Sith promised me that no one would die.' Luke was supposed to save everyone and that was the only thing that made the price of all this bearable… this was the bargain he made.
No.
Wait.
That was not what the Sith had said.
He could see the vindictive smile in his memory as he remembered. 'He said if you did this right then then no one had to die.' He realized as the horror should have made the panic spike, but instead he just felt horribly cold. 'I guess you didn't do it right.'
"What did you just say?" Fives words speak through the void and cracks it open. "What do you mean you didn't do it right! This was a complete disaster!" Fives yells out in anger before he catches himself and the sorrow that Luke can feel from him in the Force threaten to overtake him.
"Do you even know what you have done!" Fives says and shoves Luke once more against the unforgiving surface, but that is ok, Luke does not want to be forgiven. He wants to feel pain to drown out the magnitude of this catastrophe. "You killed Yoda, you bastard!"
And suddenly something breaks, and instead of the numbness there is only pain. Before Luke realized he had done it, he had covered his eyes with his hand and his cold skin did not sting as much as he deserved.
"I am sorry," he says and swallows thickly. He presses the overwhelming emotion down, but it still burns in his eyes. He cannot break down now. He can't! He breathes in, breathes out, but he cannot block the sight of Yoda on the ground. His hands won't stop shaking. Why can't he make them stop? "I don't know what happened."
He looked helplessly down at his hands expecting to see the blood on them. He closed his hands into fists but still they shook.
"I do!" Fives says and suddenly light blinds Luke as his hand is ripped away and in one swift movement pulls the sleeve down baring the scarred arm. "It is those damn things that are doing something to you!"
Luke has not dared to look at the scars since before the attack on the Jedi temple, but he had felt them spread. He looks down, and immediately wishes that he had not. He feels like throwing up.
The scars criss-cross his arm in the form of the curse Sith runes that he has come to hate so much. They go all the way past his elbow now, when before they only covered the wrist. Seeing it exposed like this is too much.
When they reach his heart…
Something feral grips Luke and it overrides the overbearing emotion he could barely contain. The Force lashes out from him as he rips his arm back. The violent push sends Fives skittering back over to the other side of the narrow alley. There is a nasty sound when his back slams into the wall.
At this moment Luke cannot care less.
This is all too much for him to handle.
He clutched the arm to himself and quickly covered the ugliness beneath the cloth. Fives straightens and leans back against the wall. He pushes off the wall, and for a moment, Luke considers fight or flight until Fives stops a step away.
Fives just stops and stands there.
Fives is angry. Luke can practically taste it in the air, so powerful is the resentment that rolls off the clone trooper in waves. Luke tightens his hold on the Force. 'You knew this was coming.' He tells himself. 'You knew it from the very beginning!' Still, despite this, he waits for the trooper to attack first.
Any sensible person would turn on Luke after this. He did not fault the trooper in that decision. If he was in Fives shoes, then he would do the exact same thing himself, but he already regrets what he is going to have to do.
He would leave Fives alive, he could not bear doing otherwise, but he would have to damage him to the point where Fives could not interfere until Luke had completed what he came to do.
'Remember he is a soldier,' he thinks and eyes his opponent with a detached mindset. He could not afford to let his fondness of the trooper influence this fight. If he did, he might make a mistake that the trooper could use to his advantage. 'He knows how to fight someone like-'
"I am sorry," Fives says and the words are clipped and edgy.
'What?' Luke's trail of thought collapses in on itself and leaves his mind a barren wasteland. 'Why isn't Fives attacking?'
"I shouldn't have attacked you like that." Fives sighs, and shifts his shoulders as if to relieve some tension. Luke doesn't realize he is mimicking him before the Force stills in his hands and it bleeds away from him completely when Fives speaks again. "Did I hurt you?"
Luke just stares, feeling the entire scene suddenly roll off a script. It was not supposed to go like this, but Fives was nothing but a blend of sincerity, guilt and worry in the Force despite the anger that is also there.
Luke looks for an angle, but Fives signature in the Force showed none. 'Why are you looking at me like that?' He thinks. There is also a rising suspicion forming around the trooper, it looms over him like a tall shadow. But Luke is not the target. He can feel that Fives doesn't want to hurt him.
But why!? Why is Fives trying so hard to look non-threatening? To look kind? Luke does not understand, his mind is only drawing blanks and a part of him just wants to scream or laugh, or cry.
Why is he so unhinged? Did he go too far into the dark side this time?
And why can't his hands stop shaking?
"I have had worse," he ends up saying, despite himself and does not recognize his own voice. He ignores the sticky warmth and the sting at the back of his head where it hit the wall. He knows when he moves his head that it will leave a red stain there on the grey surface.
Somehow that does not seem important.
"Tell me what happened back there," Fives asks. He looks calm, but his signature in the Force betrays him. "Suddenly you both just stood there without moving a muscle and then… Yoda collapsed without you laying a hand on him." He breathes in and throws a look at Luke's now covered arm. "And those things glowed," he said finally.
Luke is caught in indecision. There are so many things that he cannot say that-
"Explain! Or I am walking," Fives says and regret glows bright and furious within him.
`Walk? Not attack?' Luke thinks, but he does not understand.
"I…" Luke stutters, because he does not know what to say. What could Luke possibly say that could explain this for Fives? He could not tell the truth… tell this soldier about the Sith Luke had made a terrible bargain with.
He couldn't!
"What do those mean? Those markings that you have?" Fives asks, and looks like he wanted to step forward, but he freezes when his eyes fixed on something on the side of Luke's head. Luke knew what it is, the warmth from the back of his head is trailing down his cheek now. He must have hit the wall much harder than he thought. "And don't even think about lying to me. I know what Sith runes look like."
Oh.
'Someone has been snooping,' Luke thought. "…When I passed out?" he asked and went still while he felt a slow lingering pain in the scars starting to burn.
"Of course! I had to see what made you collapse like that." Fives said, and the strange mix of resentment, sorrow and guilt intensifies. "…It is a curse?" He presses like he can taste blood in the water. "Was it what… did that to Yoda?"
Luke looked away and resisted biting his lip. The shame is like a punch in the gut. He could not think of a way to explain this, because there is no way than he can. He is not allowed. His finger closes around the scars that are now mercifully hidden from view. 'Think of something!' he thinks desperately. 'Anything!'
That desperation takes him aback because of the sudden truth it reveals. The fact that he did not want Fives to leave. Luke shakes his head at himself, but he cannot deny the truth that is felt so keenly in the Force.
He always knew that he had to do this mission alone, when had he become so desperate?
"I take that as a yes," Fives continues, no doubt taking Luke's silence for confirmation. "Can you even control it?" he asked and the question is heavy between them. He lowered his eyes briefly to the arm where the scars are once again hidden.
"No, I-" Luke flinches at the sharp pain in his arm and tries to resist cradling it, but he fails and worse, Fives notices if the sudden narrowing of his eyes are anything to go by. Luke swallows, remembers the bargain, and answers. "It is complicated," Luke says and admitting it feels like a defeat, like swallowing a poison he knows is fatal.
It is more painful than the throbbing scars on his arm.
"Look… I know what this must have looked like, but I did not come here to hurt Yoda, or anyone else…. I just came here for Palpatine, and only Palpatine. That is the truth," Luke explains, and knows that cannot be enough. He has lost his only ally in this world, now he would have to do this terrible task alone-
"…Alright." Fives answers, but it sounded like he meant to say the opposite. "Then what happened there, and what are those things on your arm?" Fives asks, again.
It is an impossible question.
"I can't tell you," Luke answers, feeling more drained, worn in and out, than he ever wanted to feel again. Despite himself, he rubs at the scars on his left arm that itch like there are bugs crawling beneath the skin.
"… You can't? … or won't?" Fives stares at the way Luke claws at his arm and his movements suddenly freeze.
The suspicion in that voice sparks fear in Luke, but he does his best not to let it show as he quickly pulls his hand away as if he had been burned.
"That is the same thing," Luke replies, trying to sound dismissive. He looks away and tries to end the conversation then and there. He does not like the scrutinizing look that creeps up on Fives face. It was the exact way Leia used to look when he tried to lie to her.
"No," Fives says with a sudden determination and a suspicion becomes a certainty in the Force. "No, it is not."
::::
"Anakin, tell me honestly, how bad is it?" Padmé asked with a calm expression, but Anakin knew her well enough to see the worry shining out of her eyes.
This conversation was turning frustrating, not because of her questions, but because of his inability to answer any of them. It made him feel useless and unworthy of the love he felt from her in the Force.
What kind of man did it make him, that he could not comfort his pregnant wife?
She didn't want to own up to it, but it was quite clear in the Force that she was very worried. He knew that she did not believe him when he said that Vader was working alone in an attempt to calm her.
It didn't help that he was also very aware of how impossible that sounded. Vader could not be working alone. He did not blame her for doubting that. He would not have believed a word of it either. He only said it in the first place to try and make her feel safe. Her stress he felt in the Force was sharp, like a knife to his chest.
"He can't be working alone, Anakin. He has already done too many things. Someone must be helping him do this," Padmé said, feeling a measure of frustration and the lie was bright yellow in the Force. "Aren't there any clues?"
It was a difficult question. Anakin had nothing to show for it, but he knew that Vader had someone helping him.
"I know how this sounds, Padmé, but we have not found a single accomplice…besides Fives," he answered, and felt shame at that admission. He had known Fives for a long time, and he had not seen any deception in the man. Nothing, nothing at all, that would foreshadow this betrayal.
Fives had been there when Yoda died, the trooper had worn a disguise, but Anakin already knew that the security-cameras would wipe away any doubt. It was just so hard to accept, even now, that Fives had betrayed him, the Republic and the Jedi, so easily.
Were there more like Fives in the ranks? More people that were just waiting for the right moment to show their true colours?
How many traitors were there?
"I am sure there must be some explanation for what Fives is doing," Padmé said suddenly and there was a warm hand on his chin. "Vader controlled Rex too, and maybe he is doing the same thing to Fives?" Her brown eyes looked up at him with gentleness and worry.
Some of the frustration bleeds away from him, comforted by Padmé's gentle presence. It was such a kind thing to say, but he doubted that was the case. Vader had been knocked out after his fight with Yoda, and it was the other one, the one that Anakin knew for a fact was Fives, that had dragged the semi-conscious Sith out of there.
The Padawan had said as much.
If Fives had been under control, then that control would have been broken when Vader lost consciousness. He did not want to believe it, but Padme's words could not be true. The cruel fact was staring him in the face.
Fives was a traitor.
He had to get used to thinking of his old friend like that.
"I am trying to find out who is helping him, but I have found nothing." He did not say that he had started going through the files on the troopers closest to Fives. If one trooper could turn traitor, then others might too. He would have to watch his back around them from now on, until the magnitude of the betrayal had been made clear.
He says none of this to Padmé. It was his job to keep her safe, not the other way around.
"I have begun to look into different leads, that might come up with something," he says, staying as close to the truth as he can. Padmé somehow always knew when he lied to her. He gestures out of the window to the city beyond. "For all we know, there could be an entire group working with him, but from what we have discovered until now, it does appear that he is on his own."
"Then he must be working for someone," Padmé said, as one of her hands brushed at her own chin in thought. "Since Chancellor Palpatine was Vader's target, then it would make the most sense that Vader is somehow working with the Separatists."
"I thought that too, but as far as we can see, he isn't a Separatist, not officially anyway." Anakin sighs, letting some of his frustration show. "He might be a part of some minor group we haven't discovered yet, but the entire Jedi order is looking for Vader, so it won't be long until he is caught. It is not the first time we have had a task like this."
He smiled when he felt Padmé's presence become calmer. "You don't need to be worried, my love," Anakin says and regrets it immediately when he feels her worry suddenly spike.
"Not worried, Ani?" Padmé asked. "Since Vader came here, he killed Count Dooku, started a riot we still haven't completely subdued, attacked the Jedi temple, infiltrated the Senate, tried to assassinate the Chancellor twice and... Master Yoda, he- " she stopped and the weight of what she didn't say lay heavy in the air.
"Should I not be worried about that?" she asked as her hand rested protectively on her stomach and the life growing within her.
That moment stopped the entire world in Anakin's eyes.
She was carrying his child and she was afraid.
He could see that fact clearly in the Force.
That fear moved something strongly within him, a strong emotion he had never felt before. It felt primal. A slow, furious rage grows within him like a storm, it is an almost feral instinct that threatens to overpower him and the only clear thing that comes through that flood of emotion is the one intense thought.
Padmé was afraid.
She should not be afraid.
"Padmé, my love," Anakin says, tempering the rage within him with his love for her as it calms the raging fire in his mind. "I will take care of this, and then we find out what to do with our new family," he assured her, wearing the calmest smile he could conjure up. "Together."
He took her hand and set the other lightly on her belly, where his child was growing now. Padmé still looked worried, but the fear had diminished in her eyes and she returned Anakin's smile.
And what a beautiful smile it was. How did he ever get to be so lucky to have a beautiful future with her?
Anakin pulled her into a gentle hug and kissed her on her forehead, but inside, his thoughts curled around one thing alone and held it in a stranglehold. Their shared precious secret, there was only one aside from himself and Padmé that knew about the baby. The only real threat.
Vader.
It was a pity that Anakin knew enough about Vader to know that he was not the worst Sith he had ever fought.
Still knowing this, he already knew what he was going to do to Vader when he hunted him down. It was a shame in a way, as Anakin knew he would regret not getting to solve the mystery that was Vader, because he was the one enemy that Anakin could not afford to spare now that he knew Anakin's greatest secret.
Vader had to die.
It was the only way to keep Padmé and his child safe.
:::
The message had told the General exactly what he needed to know and not a moment too soon. Grievous could hardly suppress his impatience. Finally, there was some news!
Finally!
Still the relief of that thought was drowned in the irritation of the image playing in front of him. The recorded file included in the message from one of his many sources showed Vader waltzing around like he had not just dared to strike against the Separatists, like he had not just killed the only man that Grievous still had any respect for.
It made his blood boil to watch Vader stop and throw a look behind him before he disappeared out of sight of the camera that had recorded this. 'Not for long though,' Grievous reminded himself. Vader would be within his grasp very soon.
It had not been pleasant to resort to this, to bounty hunters, but he had to admit that he was pleased that it was already paying off. Their network of spies on Coruscant alone was already proving useful. The search had been considerably narrowed down in the span of hours alone.
And now he had finally come into contact with the one he knew would bring him the results he needed.
He tapped his fingers on the metal surface of the console, waiting for the other to respond to his call. Tapping his finger was a habit he had developed before his… mutilation. He had the willpower to unlearn this habit, but a part of him did not want to erase another part of his old self. It was a foolish sentiment, he knew, and the anger always stirred when he caught himself doing it.
But that was fine. He needed to be angry and he never could banish the fury completely. It always gnawed at him and every day he felt more consumed by it. It seemed at times to be out of his control...
He sated the anger with a silent promise that he would unleash it soon enough. This had been a waiting game up to this point, but now, no more.
The other line opened the connection and a monotone voice spoke a single word.
"Yes?"
"I have a job for you," he breathed in heavily and strangled a dry cough. "Triple your normal fare."
"I am listening."
"I am sending you the information on the target now," Grievous said. "He is Sith. I trust you will be able to handle it."
"I'll take on any job… for the right price," The deep voice said over the holocom and sounded far too self-assured for Grievous taste and his annoyance only grew when the voice continued. "The Separatists are paying a million credits a head for Jedi. I would normally expect the same price for a Sith." There was a new eagerness to the voice that provoked a condescending scoff in the General.
Greed was an easy way to spot a bounty hunter, no matter how far up they ranked in their own system. It never failed to spark a strange mix of disgust and an old disappointment that only seemed to get stronger as time passed in the husk of a body he was now condemned to inhabit.
Grievous felt the familiar disappointment register and abandoned it, but the remembrance it had sparked remained. There were so few true warriors left in the galaxy. Credits was the uncontested god of this age and honour was a relic of a distant past.
Sometimes the General felt like he was the only one left who treasured it at all.
He collected himself with a harsh thought at the naive person he used to be. This bounty hunter was the best there was, and Grievous needed the best. He would do whatever it took to win this blasted war.
Then perhaps that all-consuming anger within him would finally fade away.
"Triple your normal fare," he agreed and ignored the pain that stabbed like needles in his lungs when he pushed the words out. He cursed his defective body once more.
"You've got a deal," the voice said in a pleased tone that had not been there before. Then, after a brief silence, the deep voice sounded again in a short question. "Dead?" He asked in a professional manner and cut the small talk.
Grievous felt his regard for the bounty hunter rose slightly.
"No," he said finally after a pause.
"Alive."
:::::
'And here I thought the other place was a disgusting dump,' Luke thought and eyed the …building… in front of him. It was still standing and he could honestly say that was the nicest thing he could say about it. Now that Luke had seen the upper areas of the city, this in comparison looked worse than it probably was.
He had seen places worse on Tatooine, he reminded himself.
Only right now he could not remember where exactly.
Steam of some sort rose in a heavy pillar from a grid in the pavement… or what was supposed to pass for pavement in these streets. It smelled sickly sweet, like rot, everything here smells like that. He already felt like he needed a bath, and he had not even been here for more than a few hours.
Fives seemed not to notice and stepped directly through the sticky smoke without any hesitancy in his steps.
Luke stepped around it.
He already felt disgusting enough.
The noise of this part of the city was a lot louder than he thought it would have been this time of night, especially in a city that has just suffered a bombardment.
Fives hasn't spoken a word to him since the confrontation in the alley and Luke is grateful for it. He feels like he is ripping apart at the edges. Feels like half a person somehow. Yoda's death is a raw open void that he still cannot believe is real.
And if that nightmare vision he could only half-remember was true, then Yoda had seen him. Luke remembered hearing the word 'Skywalker' before everything fell away. He thinks he remembered, but it was not possible, he did not exist in this time. Yoda should never have recognized him!
It was simply not possible.
And even if Yoda somehow had recognized him, then it did not matter anymore, because-
Yoda was dead and Luke was the one that killed him.
It was like his mind still could not grasp what had happened even if his body was reacting to it with sharp and rushing heartbeats in his cheat, and a numbness that was so very cold.
Luke knows it is stupid of him that he can't seem to understand that Yoda's gone, he was there when it happened after all, but somehow it is like his mind couldn't deal with it and had pushed it away to a dark corner that he can't reach.
Fives on his part has behaved strangely.
He hasn't said a word, but he keeps looking over to him and once, when Luke had tripped, Fives had caught him before he fell without a word. He still keeps an eye on Luke, but not with anger like before, the sharpness is gone from his signature in the Force.
This was not the way Fives should look at an enemy, and it doesn't make sense. Luke just killed Yoda! Fives should be wanting to kill him too! Shouldn't a soldier of the Republic want to murder a Jedi-killer?
A corner of his teeth was revealed when his lips curled unwillingly down in an expression of self-disgust.
More often than not, the buildings that they passed on their way here had loud music blasting from open windows and then he was not even counting the many bars. Odd looks had been thrown in his direction, but none had dared approach them, yet.
That might very well have been the reason that Fives chose this uniform, because the crowds parted before them like water around a thrown stone. He doubted that anyone saw anything else than his borrowed Jedi robe before they averted their eyes. He had to give it to Fives. The Jedi robe really was a perfect disguise.
Either everyone around here had something to hide, or they had no love for the authorities at all. In either case, Luke might as well have been a shadow on the wall, not a single person had dared to look him in the eye.
It was very convenient and it served Luke's mission well, but it still felt wrong to witness that kind of fear for a representative of the Jedi order, the peacekeepers of the galaxy. What was this Republic really? The more he saw of it, the less he wished he had.
"We are almost there," Fives suddenly speaks beside him and breaks the silence for the first time in hours. "It'll be a quick stop and then we go back and rest up so we are ready for tomorrow. Our hideout should still be safe enough to spend the night."
'Our hideout.' Luke's flickering thoughts latches on to that 'Our.' Luke locks it away, he can't deal with that choice of words right now, and the soft way they were spoken. He strengthened his resolve and forced one foot in front of the other.
Relieved that the silent treatment was over, he responded with the only thing that could keep him distracted from what he had done.
"What is the plan?" He asked, because he really needed to hear it again so he could convince himself that Fives plan was not a suicide-attempt.
"We need Security-passes and my contact here can provide it. She has worked for Separatists before, and their cause has her sympathy."
"So, we are pretending to be allies of the Separatists, and then she will get us what we need?"
"That, and a substantial amount of credits," Fives said. "I am going to try to use my new reputation to convince her we are on her side."
"Are you sure that is a good idea? Need I remind you of the warrant for your arrest? She might want to take that opportunity instead because it is an easier way to earn credits," Luke answered and a little worry escaped into the sentence. He did not want to poke holes in Fives plan, but with the horrible luck he was having today, he could not afford to take any chances.
"You're right, she would do that if she could, but she just escaped from prison, so she will need easy money and she can't hand us over to the Jedi and keep a low profile at the same time. She is, after all, also on the run." Then Fives adds as an afterthought, "and she really hates the Republic. I don't know if it is the Senate or the Jedi themselves, but there is no mistaking hate like that."
"I just don't understand how she could get passes to the Senate."
"She can't," Fives answers like that is not a big deal, "but she can get us fake security passes to the show tomorrow night at Galaxies Opera House. You might like it, it's Squid Lake a Mon Calamari ballet."
"Fives…Why are we going to the opera?" Luke asked sensing from Fives he was serious.
"Nala Se. She will attend the opera tomorrow. It is the best chance we have to get close to her." Fives stops at Luke's sudden frown. "Nala Se is rarely on Coruscant, but every time she is, she always goes to the opera. We will not get another chance like this."
"And why would I care about Nala Se?" Luke asks dangerously calm. He knew he was running on a timer, and if the day's events had taught him anything it was that his time here was even shorter than he had feared.
Even if Nala Se was his real target, then this plan would still be a gamble. But Nala Se isn't the reason why he is here. She is not the person he came all this way to kill.
"Fives, we have already had this discussion. My target is Palpatine," Luke says with little room for argument. He did not know how much time he still had left, and every second they waste here is not helping his nerves. "We agreed on this."
"I did not agree to it. I said I would help you stop the Chancellor and expose his hidden plan," Fives answered, infuriatingly calm. "I never agreed to assassinate him."
Luke stops, startled by this new development.
"I said I would help you stop the Chancellor and I stand by what I said, but this is not the lawless place that you come from. This is the Republic. We have laws and ideals that I have fought to protect my entire life. So have my brothers. I will not be a judge, jury and executioner. It would disgrace everything I ever fought for," Fives finished, with no room for argument.
Luke couldn't process this, his mouth opened and closed again when he found that he had no words. It was too much on top of everything else. Did Fives not realize what they were trying to prevent by getting rid of Sidious? The disaster was closing in on them with every single second they wasted here.
And the reason Fives hesitated was something as insignificant as morals!
Did Fives not already know the massacre that loomed on the horizon? Had he not already realized the consequences if they failed to kill that monster?
The end was close now, very close, he could feel it like a shadow falling over him.
"Fives…" Luke stopped, hesitated for one more moment, knowing that he could not afford to mess up now. "You know what those chips will make your brothers do, and you also know who will pull that trigger. We cannot afford to make this an investigation that follows the rules of the Republic. Every second that we waste here might be the second Palpatine chooses to give the order. Can you not see that?"
"We get to Nala Se and we get her to tell us how to destroy the chips."
"Fives listen –"
"I get what you are saying, Vader, I do. But if we go after the Chancellor, as you suggest, then he might activate the order in a last bid to protect himself. We would be making him do it."
Luke stops.
Just stops.
Fives words were horrifyingly true.
Luke tries to think a way around it, but the obstacle it presents is unsurmountable. Why had he not thought of this before? It is so simple to think of and yet Luke had not even considered the possibility. Sidious was a beast in the guise of a man, of course he would use every opportunity presented to him to save his own skin.
Anything.
Including a mass genocide.
Luke had practically killed Yoda himself by coming to this time period. To think that he could have been the catalyst of the destruction of the entire Jedi Order is too much to imagine. It was also a real frightening possibility.
By the Force!
He could have destroyed everything he came here to save.
He stared past Fives, as the many horrible realities plied themselves on top of each other into an insurmountable obstacle. He had taken for granted that the past would remain the same, despite the fact that he had come here with the purpose to change it.
What if he had already made too many mistakes and the chance to save the future had already been spent when he failed to put an end to Sidious when he first came here? What if that moment had been his only window of opportunity?
He swallowed.
What if it was already too late? What if Sidious in this very moment prepared to give the order to the genocide that Luke knew was in the making? What if Luke had already doomed everyone?
He only had one chance, one, and the pressure of the consequences of failing had never felt this terrifying.
"How do you know there is a way to destroy them, the chips?" He asked, as the sound of his voice was a strange broken thing. He hated how it reflected what he had become. He couldn't keep pretending he had this situation, this bargain, under control.
"There will be a way," Fives said with confidence that Luke himself was no longer capable of. "Everything can be destroyed if you use the right tools."
Luke cannot prevent the short laugh that escapes him.
On that he agreed completely.
"And if we can't?" He asks and strangles the burst of gallows humour. He pretends he is not a little weirded out by Fives sudden intense stare. It was a strange look. Fives eyes are narrow, but he does not look angry. If it had been anyone else but Fives, then Luke would have thought it looked like worry.
"Then… we do it your way," Fives answered, and Luke was so relieved that he could not help a smile. He did not know why that admission had given him a glimmer or relief, but he clung to it like a life-line.
"Don't get too excited," Fives warned. Then he hesitates in a way that makes it seem like there is something else that he wants to say. Whatever it is, he seems to abandon it, because he suddenly shakes his head. "It is only a little further ahead," he continued, and returned to the current mission of gaining the security-passes. "When we get here don't say anything, and let me do the talking."
"And if I am recognized?" Luke asked. It was a real possibility considering the entire Jedi Order was looking for him.
"They might recognize you from the warrant the Senate posted, but the Chancellor has few friends in the under city, so they are more likely to congratulate you than turn you in," Fives answered. "But don't worry too much about it. Even if there is someone looking to hand us over to the Jedi it won't matter, because we will not be there long enough to give them the chance."
"I hope you are right. I am not going to be much use in a fight right now," Luke says and feels mildly disgusted for having admitted to it, but he still feels weakened since his confrontation with Yoda. Like something is missing and his connection to the Force is…
He can't explain it but reaching out to the Force feels wrong, painful and weak, like his connection to it has been flayed. "Don't get us cornered."
"I won't," Fives replies with a certainty that makes the roaring stress in Luke's mind calm down a little. Still, he pulls the hood forward again to make sure that his face is completely covered.
"Deal?" Fives asked and held his hand out for Luke to shake. A memory sank its claws into him and suddenly it was dark and it was not Fives that stood in front of him, but another… him. The yellow eyes stared unblinkingly down at him and all that Luke felt was that never-ending hunger radiating from that being that embodied the dark side of the Force.
Luke blinked and the image of the sith was gone. He clenched his jaw and reached forward to take Fives hand before he lost his nerve.
Then suddenly Fives hand closed around his wrist instead.
What?
Luke tried to pull back his arm, but Fives' grip only tightened.
"Another thing," Fives continued as if nothing was wrong, "Our conversation. We are not done with our little talk earlier." He stared straight into Luke's eyes with an unnerving intensity. "I don't care whatever situation is going on with these things," he said and sent a look to where the scars were hidden under Luke's cloak.
"Good, then I guess our 'little talk' is finished," Luke almost hissed as he pulled his arm back to himself.
"What I meant was, I don't care how you got them, but it will have to be resolved since you are clearly not in control of it."
"Fives-"
"Vader," Fives said, dangerously calm. "If you do not do something about those things, then this road that you are dead set on walking… it will end on a cliff. Nothing good ever comes out of Sith rituals."
"That is not how it is," Luke said, trying to retake some of the ground that Fives had taken with his words. How could a combat soldier be this perceptive? Luke had not spoken a word of his mission here, but it already seemed that Fives knew everything.
Had Luke become this bad at hiding the truth, or had Luke had the misfortune of stumbling upon the only person in this place that could see through his lies?
He could not remember the last time someone had him on his heels like this. Luke did not look dangerous, he knew that, and he had used every possible opportunity to take advantage of that fact. He knew he looked more innocent than he was, and no matter how dark things became, he could always count on his lies because people usually believed him. The only exception had been Leia.
But no longer.
Fives had stripped that last protection from him.
"Isn't it?" Fives' voice took on a mocking air when he continued. "I know what a man looks like when he fears for his life and ever since I first met you, you have been acting like someone is holding a blaster to your neck." He paused and his eyes narrowed in thought. "And now I am beginning to understand why."
::
To be continued :)
beta-read by: Carrie2sky