It hit me while writing this that Emma was not eighteen when she had Henry, but seventeen, because she turned 28 after he turned 10. Means she turned 18 after he was born.

Doesn't have that much impact (although in the UK she'd have been considered a minor, so not sure whether the jail sentence would have changed) but Emma did say she was 18 in Ohana Means Family, so I might need to address that in future.

Once again, Regina was sitting under her apple tree, most of its leaves littering the ground around her, avoiding a party.

This time, however, it wasn't a birthday party for Henry; it was a ball, in honour of the missing Crown Princess.

Today was Emma's 30th birthday, which meant it was also the 30th anniversary of the curse being cast.

So Regina was avoiding it, not because of the pain of Henry's absence, but because she hardly thought anyone wanted her presence, not when she was the reason Emma would never attend one of these balls herself.

Snow had been trying to get her involved, insisting that she wanted her stepmother there, but Regina was certain that she was the only one.

As a result, she had been increasingly sharp-tongued with everyone in the weeks leading up to the celebration, so much so that the whispers about the Evil Queen had started up again.

She didn't care.

It was better this way.

Somehow, though, she was unsurprised when, once again, Robin appeared out of the darkness and took the seat beside her on the bench.

"I'm not going to apologise," she said simply.

"Of course not," Robin said. "As far as I'm concerned, there's no apology needed."

Regina sighed. "I have been a complete bitch for weeks; just for once, can you react like a normal person?!"

Robin raised an eyebrow. "How would a normal person react, Your Majesty? Shun you, ignore you, decide that you're evil incarnate and abandon you to your obvious grief?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "You have lost your child. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Roland; losing Marian was unimaginable but Roland … I don't know if I could keep putting one foot in front of the other. And you not only do that, but you manage to keep the country running smoothly at the same time; if to do that, you need to take your anger out on me, then so be it."

"It's not Henry," Regina admitted in a low voice. "Not this time anyway."

Robin frowned. "It's your … step-granddaughter then?"

Regina pulled a face. "Don't call her that."

"Is she not?" Robin asked.

"Technically, I suppose," Regina admitted begrudgingly. "But Emma … Emma is also Henry's birth mother."

Robin stared at her for a second. "I knew that your son had stayed with her. And I knew that she had a son. For some reason, I just assumed that she had two boys with her now. I assume you didn't know that when you adopted him?"

Regina laughed bitterly. "Absolutely not. Henry went to find her two years ago today. Ran away, nearly gave me a heart attack, and came back with his real mother." She shook her head. "He'd found out about the adoption and not taken it well, but then … he got his hands on this book about the Enchanted Forest, and figured out about the curse. He decided I was evil and so he went to get Emma to break the curse."

"And she did," Robin concluded.

"Not for eight months," Regina said with a sigh. "But she did. Today isn't just her birthday, it's the day I cast the curse. The day Snow and Charming sent their newborn away to keep her safe from me. Snow might think she wants me there, but the others don't."

For a second, she thought Robin might argue with her, but he simply nodded, and they sat in companionable silence for a few minutes.

"Might I ask you a question?" Robin asked finally.

Regina's lips quirked into a smile. "Just one?"

"Well, now that you mention it," Robin said, "I actually have two that I've been wondering about."

Regina shrugged. "If you must. I don't know why I answer you so readily."

"I'd say that's obvious, milady," Robin said. "You know I will listen, and you know I will keep your confidence. You know you can trust me."

"Yes," Regina said softly. "I suppose I do. Remarkable really."

"Because I'm a thief?" Robin asked lightly.

"No," Regina admitted. "Because I can't remember the last time I trusted someone freely and without having leverage over them. What was your question?"

"From what I understand," Robin said, "Henry had to stay behind because of the price of the magic, and I know that all magic has a price. But if that's so, why are you so free in using it?"

Regina gave a small smile. "You understand correctly. The price of reversing the curse was for me to give up that which I loved most. To never see my son again. All magic comes with a price, that's true, but it depends on the magic as to what the price is and how bad it is. The more … innocuous the magic, the lesser the price. For example, when I do something like conjure a handkerchief or transport myself to another room, the price of that magic is just energy, the same as I would exert energy doing either of those things manually."

"I see," Robin said. "And the bigger prices … Do you set them?"

"Sometimes," Regina said. "That's why Rumple made deals. Generally the magic tells you what the price is. With reversing the curse … I might have been able to override the price and bring Henry here. But magic would have taken another price, possibly even his life. Sometimes magic doesn't tell you and you can set something yourself. But if you don't … magic will."

"What about a wand?" Robin asked. "If someone without magic used a wand, would magic exact a price?"

Regina thought about that for a second. "That's a moot point."

"Why?" Robin asked.

"Because someone without magic couldn't use a wand," Regina said simply. "You'd need some kind of innate magic to even make it work."

"I don't have any innate magic," Robin said. "I used the Black Fairy's wand once."

Regina froze. "You did what? That was in Rumple's possession - did you have a death wish?!"

"I was desperate," Robin said quietly. "Marian was about seven months along with Roland - she was getting sicker and sicker, and we were going to lose both of them. I'd tried everything else."

"And rather than making a deal, you thought stealing from the Dark One was the best move," Regina said, shaking her head. "That's how you know Belle, isn't it? She saved you."

"She did," Robin said softly. "Even so, I'm lucky. He had my bow; it's enchanted to never miss. Belle thinks he chose to let me live, because there was a child involved. She came to me instead, took the wand and gave me back my bow."

Regina shook her head. "You should have taken a deal."

"I wanted to save my child," Robin said darkly. "Not sacrifice him."

"He wouldn't have asked for Roland," Regina said. "Rumple was … a monster in many ways. But to save a child … I don't know what he'd have asked for, but he'd have made it small. And made you feel like it was something awful."

"Maybe," Robin said softly. "But I could use the wand, and I did, and … Is that what killed my wife?"

"No," Regina said with certainty. "You said Roland was three months old when she died. If it was the magic, she would have died in childbirth. I don't know what the price was, Robin, but it wasn't her life."

"Could Roland be … harmed in some way?" Robin asked.

"I doubt it," Regina said honestly. "I think you would have noticed. And I haven't noticed anything when I've been with him."

Robin breathed an obvious sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Regina tilted her head. "Actually … I might know what the price was."

"What?" Robin asked.

Regina smiled. "When Belle gave you the bow back, did she specifically tell you it was yours?"

Robin frowned. "No. But I've never missed a shot."

"So I hear," Regina said. "Have you tried any impossible shots since then though?"

Robin thought for a moment. "No."

Regina nodded. "Didn't think so. I assume that bow was the one you had when we broke in here?"

"Naturally," Robin agreed.

"Because I was checking for magic throughout the journey through that tunnel," Regina said, "and I didn't pick up on that enchantment. I think Rumple took the bow as payment."

"Do you think Belle knew?" Robin asked.

Regina shrugged. "Maybe. But that was more than two questions," she added, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked - he grinned at her, dimples in full force and making her traitorous heart flutter in her chest in spite of the dim light. "Actually, that was one, and follow-ups."

"You didn't say anything about follow-ups," Regina said, smiling herself now.

Robin gave her a mock-bow from his seat. "My apologies, Your Majesty. May I trouble you with my second question?"

Regina pretended to consider it for a moment. "I suppose so."

Robin's smile became kinder, and she braced herself. "I know that there are no more portals to the Land Without Magic, but can I ask why you can't just recast the Dark Curse and take yourself back to Henry?"

The question caused all humour to evaporate from between them and Regina looked away, trying to decide whether to answer fully, or even at all.

"First of all," she said slowly, "even if I did, Henry still wouldn't remember me. Second of all … I can't." She smiled sadly. "I stole the curse from Rumple, you know. Or rather, he let me steal it, because that's what he wanted the whole time. I traded it to Maleficent for the sleeping curse, but I took it back again, and … She told me it was a bad idea. That it wasn't worth it."

"It has the price written in, doesn't it?" Robin asked softly. "What was it?"

Regina took a deep breath.

This was it.

This was the thing that would drive him away, would make him see her as the monster she truly was.

"The heart of the one you love the most," she said flatly. "I had to rip it out, crush it to dust and add it to the curse. So you see, I can't cast it again. The one I love the most is a world away. And if he wasn't, I wouldn't need the curse."

To her surprise, although he looked taken aback by her words, there was no horror or disgust in his eyes and he stayed right where he was, digesting what she had told him, and she waited for the obvious question.

"You must have hated her a lot."

Regina blinked. "You're not going to ask me who?"

"That's hardly any of my business, milady," Robin said. "If you wish to talk about it, of course I will listen. But I won't ask. But to take such desperate measures, you must have hated Snow White."

Regina looked away. "I didn't," she said softly. "I can see that now. Rumple had spent so long messing with my head that he had me convinced that I did, that it was her fault."

"What was her fault?" Robin asked curiously. "The common story that went round was that you were jealous of her beauty, but it obviously wasn't that."

"How do you know?" Regina asked, glancing back at him.

Robin smiled. "The princess is lovely, of course. But I have always failed to see how a woman widely known to be the most beautiful in all the realms could possibly be threatened by her, especially not to that extent."

Thank goodness it was fairly dark out; he wouldn't be able to see the look on her face, which she was fairly certain had to be embarrassing.

"I think," she said softly, "that you're thinking of Queen Eva."

"I am?" Robin asked.

"I could never match her beauty," Regina said with a weak smile. "He made that very obvious."

"Then he was blind as well as a fool," Robin said, scowl obvious in his voice even though she was trying not to look at him. "I remember Queen Eva. Again, she was lovely, but certainly no match for you, milady."

Anyone else, and she would think he was trying to court her, but the space between them remained the same.

No, this was a man simply stating what he felt was an irrefutable fact.

Regina could deal with seduction, trickery, flattery and lies.

Pure honesty was a new one.

"She told a secret," she blurted out, trying to get the conversation back to more comfortable (relatively speaking) ground. "As a result, someone I cared about died. Rumple used my grief to convince me to start learning dark magic and it …"

"He brainwashed you," Robin finished.

"No," Regina said firmly. "I made my choices. And I won't try and get away from that, but …"

"But nothing," Robin interrupted. "Can you tell me, honestly, that if Rumplestiltskin had never showed up, you would have tried to kill her?"

"No," Regina admitted. "She was my daughter. I loved her. He made me forget about that. But I let him. And it was my father."

"Sorry?" Robin asked.

"The heart I crushed," Regina said, her voice breaking. "It was my father. He … He'd always been there. He didn't even try to stop me; he just told me that he … he wanted me to be happy."

"Of course he did," Robin said. In the darkness, he shifted a little closer to her. He didn't take her hand but just left his on the bench next to hers, their skin just touching. "Any good parent would sacrifice anything for their children."

Regina shook her head. "I killed him."

"Do you regret it?" Robin asked.

Regina chewed on her lower lip. "No," she said finally. "I had to face that in Neverland. I don't regret it. I can't. If I hadn't cast the curse, then Emma would never have met Neal, and Henry would never have been born. And he certainly would never have been mine. And I can't regret anything that led me to my son. All of the pain, and the suffering, and the losses … it all melted away as soon as they placed him in my arms."

"Children are good at that," Robin murmured. "I could never bring myself to regret anything that led me to Roland, even if the pregnancy nearly killed his mother. And Marian would have said the same. Even if it had killed her, she would have said the same, with her dying breath." His fingers brushed against hers, entwining with them when she didn't pull away. "It's okay to be happy without them. And it's okay not to regret that."

Anyone else, and Regina might have resented the attempt.

But Robin understood.

He was telling himself as much as he was telling her.

And here, in the dark, maybe she could allow herself to accept it.

"Yes," she whispered, squeezing his hand. "I know."

Please let me know what you think.