Rey wasn't sure if she was dead or alive and she didn't care to find out. Her eyelids and limbs were so heavy. Her head felt like it was filled with cotton and her mouth was so dry.
She could feel Ben's presence in the room. If she had had the energy to think, she wouldn't have done this. But she let out a small whimper to let him know she was somewhat awake.
He didn't respond.
She tried again.
She felt him shift in his chair a bit.
She tried once more.
"Rey?" Ben asked. "Can you hear me?"
She nodded her head a bit.
He gave out a cute little laugh and if she wasn't dying inside, she would have smiled.
"Our son is doing good." Ben said softly. "The medic said he should be able to be out of the medbay in a week or so. He's doing good."
Rey's lip twitched a smile.
"I've been visiting him everyday." Ben said, still so soft as if he was afraid that if he raised his voice she would get worse, "I'd rather be visiting him with you, but the Medic says that companionship can help infants grow mentally, physically and emotionally. I've been talking to him. Not the greatest conversationalist."
She let out a weak laugh that almost sounded like a grimace.
"I haven't named him." Ben continued. "I'm waiting for you to get better. You said you wanted to name him when you first held him. I hope you get better so you can do that."
She didn't catch anything after that because she had drifted back to sleep.
…
"I officially declare that your son is perfectly healthy." The medic said, the young boy curled up in a blanket in her arms. "Do you want to hold me?"
"Rey should hold him first." Kylo said.
"Sir, he wants you." The medic explained. "Can't you tell?"
The little infant was reaching out his hands, what he always did when he sensed Kylo was near but not touching him.
"It still should be his mother." Kylo protested.
"It's not like we have that as an option." The medic said quietly, trying to navigate her way through Kylo's temper. "She's in no condition to hold him. And she won't be for a while. But your son needs you now. It's important for his growth and development."
Kylo stared at his squirming newborn. He supposed he wasn't that much of a newborn-he was nearly three months old at this point.
He really wanted to hold him. But it felt so wrong. It should be Rey here, not him. He shouldn't be allowed to hold him after nearly killing them both.
"Are you nervous?" The medic asked.
"No."
"Here, I can show you how to hold him."
He didn't really have a choice because she just came up to him with the infant in her arms.
"Here, put your hand right there and be sure to cradle his head."
Kylo took a deep breath and she shifted all of the infant's weight into his arms. He was so tiny. Nowhere near as tiny as he was when he was born. But still tiny. He was so afraid to break him.
"You can exhale you know." Kareth said.
Kylo let out the breath he had been holding.
While Kylo was incredibly uncomfortable, the infant seemed very comfortable. He was all wrapped up and cuddling up to his dad's large and warm chest.
He began mumbling under his breath. He hoped the medic couldn't hear what he was doing, but he was singing the Alderaanian lullaby his mother used to sing to him.
His mother...should he tell her that she was a grandmother now? Did Rey ever tell her her reasoning for leaving the Resistance? It would be quite a shock to try to get a hold of her just to tell her that he had a baby with Rey under questionable circumstances.
She always joked about wanting a grandkid. Well specifically a granddaughter to wear all of her mother's beautiful Naboo gowns. He wasn't sure if she would ever get that granddaughter.
Thinking of his mother caused guilt and pain to stab into his chest. She wasn't the easiest person to get along with and neither was he. And these were not traits they had acquired when he grew up.
She could never forgive me.
But he still wanted to talk to her.
…
General Leia Organa was surprised to get a private transmission from the First Order. Normally their style was to just catch them off guard. It didn't even look like a First Order transmission code.
She went a little ways away from the base to open it.
It was a hologram video of her son.
"Hello General Organa." Kylo said, his nerves clearly showing. "This may be a bit of a shock to you, but I have something to tell you. I hope that you will keep this to yourself but it felt wrong to keep this from you. I don't know how much Rey has told you, but a few months ago I tracked her down and...and captured her."
He sounded so broken and afraid, just like the Ben she used to know.
"I-I was too rough with her." Kylo admitted shamefully. "And it...it caused her to go into a early labor."
Leia wasn't sure if she heard him correctly but his next couple of sentences confirmed it for her.
"I didn't know she was expecting a baby." Kylo stammered, trying to get rid of his guilt. "If I had known, I wouldn't have touched her. But she kept it hidden. The medics started on her instantly and they were able to save both the mother and the infant."
Leia's heart instantly went out for Rey. That must have been horrible. It sounded terrifying. And so painful.
That poor girl… she was so young.
"Rey was doing well."
The 'was' instantly sent Leia into a state of panic and grief all at once.
"She confirmed that I was the father." Kylo nearly whispered. "I did a paternity test and she wasn't lying. It's our son."
Well that explained a lot.
"I know it's a bit of a shock," Kylo said, "but we have been lovers for quite some time. It's been unstable, but we care for each other. Not that you needed to know that. Rey is still recovering. She was doing well but had a massive relapse. I-I think she gave some of her life force to our son. But our son is doing well. I was able to hold him for the first time today. He's so tiny. When he was born he could have easily fit in one of my hands."
Leia liked watching her son smile. He still looked scared, but happy all the same.
"I just wanted to let you know that you're a grandmother now." Kylo said, trying to regain his composure. "He doesn't have a name yet. Rey wanted to name him but she hasn't gotten the chance. If you want to meet him, I would be open to a temporary truce between the Resistance and the First Order. We'd meet on a neutral planet and I won't bring any forces with him. The offer will always be open. I promise, I'll take care of her and your grandson."
And with that, the message was done, leaving Leia processing what she had just been told and wondering what to do.