Kylo wasn't sure what he was expecting when he sent that message to his mother. But he definitely didn't expect General Leia Organa to request landing on his Star Destroyer within three rotations of that message being sent.
She refused to talk to any of the officers, they had told him when they had taken her onboard. She kept repeating that the Supreme Leader had invited her under a temporary truce and that was all they needed to know.
"General Organa." Kylo greeted his mother formally when the guards sent her to his quarters.
"Ben." Was her response.
Kylo let out a sigh.
"Why did you come?" Kylo asked.
"You invited me."
"Well yes, but I didn't think you would actually come."
"How's Rey?"
Leia looked so concerned for the young girl you would have thought she was talking about her own daughter.
"She's still in care." Kylo said, quietly and ashamed. "I think she did this thing with the force-she transferred her life into her son. He got stronger after that, but it left her weak."
"Are the medics hopeful?"
"If nothing else happens," Kylo said, "she should be fine eventually."
"No clear time frame?"
"None of the medics on board have ever dealt with anything force related."
Leia gave a slight nod, which meant she was thinking.
"I tried to do what she did," Kylo said. "I tried to give her my life force to heal her. But it didn't work."
"I don't know either." Leia admitted. "I may have been trained a couple years in the ways of the Jedi, but I've never heard of that power."
"Where did she learn it then?"
"Luke perhaps?"
"No. He didn't teach her anything."
Leia looked at him, perplexed by his statement.
"Did Rey not tell you?" Kylo asked, almost smug but he refrained himself because his mother would not have any of it. "Did she not talk about her time on the island?"
"Not much." Leia admitted, her brows still knitted together, trying to dissect Kylo for an answer with just her eyes.
"It's a lot to explain at once." Kylo said, brushing the subject aside for now, "but my guess is you came here to meet your grandson."
"I came here because you invited me and I would have been a fool not to accept."
"I don't want this to get political."
"I can't promise that."
"Can you promise it for a rotation? There's a lot more than politics going on here."
"I will refrain myself for now."
They both have the other a slight nod of understanding before Kylo led her to the door. Before he opened it, he turned back at her.
He hadn't seen his mother in over a decade. While he had called himself an adult at age 15, he was just a child when...when everything went to shit. His mother looked so much older than how he remembered her. He was the cause of that. No doubt her worry and sorrow aged her. She was still beautiful and regal, like the princess she was.
He wanted to hug her. Looking at her small hand and small stature, he felt like a little boy again. He just wanted to bury himself in her arms and have her run her dainty fingers through his hair.
He had wanted to do that the day everyone turned on him. He wanted to believe that that's how she would react if he managed to get himself home to her. But he knew it wasn't possible.
"Ben." His mother said so softly it almost sounded like a lullaby.
Leia put her hand to Kylo's check and wiped the tears from his eyes with her thumb. He hadn't realized he had started crying.
He closed his eyes and was transported back to when he was little. How his mother would dry his tears before scooping him up and singing that Alderaanian lullaby.
He missed her touch. Her smell. Her aura. Everything.
Force, he missed his mother so much.
"Mom." His voice cracked, his eyes glued to the floor, too ashamed to look her in the eyes. "I...I…"
What could he say to make everything better. What could he say that would atone for everything that he had done wrong. What could he say that would erase years of pain and destructive decisions.
Nothing. There was nothing he could say or do to right the wrongs of his past.
He felt so helpless.
"Ben?" She said his name again, this time as a question.
Kylo took an unsteady breath and tried to muffle a sob.
"I'm so sorry." Kylo said, hanging his head in shame, the tears falling faster now, his shoulders beginning to tremble. "I'm so sorry."
His knees gave out as he was overcome with grief. He knew he was making a spectacle of himself, but he didn't care. It felt like there were rocks in his stomach dragging him to the floor.
"I'm so sorry." He said once more to the floor. "For everything. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for joining Snoke. I'm sorry for...for what I did to Han."
It was too painful to call him dad. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it.
"I was so lost." Kylo sobbed, "I felt like there was nowhere to turn. And the voices in my head...they kept telling me it was my destiny to destroy the Jedi. I know that doesn't make it right. I know I should have fought harder. I know I did a million things wrong. And I'm so sorry."
Leia watched her son sob on the floor for a little while as she thought about his words. It wasn't his words that stuck out to her, it was his soul. She had been able to sense his force signature since she was expecting him. This sad and scared aura. He was telling the truth. She could feel it in his soul.
He was so sorry.
Sorry and ashamed.
Leia took his head in her hands and brushed his hair away from his eyes. He looked so pathetic looking up at him with those dark, tear filled eyes.
"I can't forgive you just yet." Leia said quietly, a bit meaner than she had intended. "I know you feel so ashamed and lost and sorry, but there's more to forgiveness than just 'I'm sorry'. I have to see you change. I have to see you try to right your wrongs. Then, I can forgive you."
Kylo was silent. He should have expected that from his mother. Forgiveness didn't come easy to her just like it didn't come easy to Rey. And just like Rey, his mother would push him away until he somehow fixed everything.
"I'm so sorry." Leia said quietly. "I'm so sorry that you felt like you couldn't come to me in those times of darkness. I wished I had known about that monster whispering in your head. I'm sorry for all the things you had to face on your own when I should have been there. I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"You were just a child. I should have been there. I don't know everything that happened at Luke's temple, but that just shows how much I've failed you. But now you are an adult, just like myself, and I think it's time for both of us to work towards forgiveness."
"I don't blame you for anything. I used to. I used to be so angry at you and Han and everyone...but I have no one to blame but myself."
"I blame myself for the things I did wrong. And everyone does something wrong, especially parents with their kids."
She planted a light kiss to the top of his head. She knew that he wanted to hug her, but she couldn't. Not yet. She had to forgive him, but he had to earn it as well. It would take time.
Kylo eventually collected himself and the two of them headed towards the medbay.