Kylo watched as his mother picked up his son without any of the hesitation that had racked through him when he first held him.
"He's got your ears." Leia said, sitting down and cradling the baby tightly.
"Unfortunate isn't it." Kylo agreed, still standing, not sure if he was allowed to sit by her or not.
"I always thought your ears were cute."
"Mother."
"Still self-conscious about your ears?"
"Mother."
"Thought for sure you'd be over that by now."
"There's no point arguing with you, is there?"
"None whatsoever." Leia said, smugly. "What's his name?"
"Doesn't have one yet."
"Why not?"
Leia looked particularly confused by this turn in the conversation.
"Rey wanted to name him." Kylo said, unable to meet his mother's fierce gaze. "She...she hasn't had the chance yet."
"How-how bad was she hurt?"
He could tell that his mother meant something else by that sentence. "How bad did you hurt her" is what she really wanted to say. She wanted to know just how much of a monster her so-called son was.
"Bad." Kylo said quietly. "They both were. She was doing alright for a while but now she's worse off than before. Just as I told you, I think she gave her life force to our son."
"I still don't fully understand what you're talking about. I've never heard of the force doing that."
"Well I've learned a lot about the force recently that I've never heard about before. It appears the Jedi's of old treated the force so sacred that they never tested all of its possibilities."
"It was the Sith that did that."
"And the Jedi who burned any findings the Sith found. It's been frustrating. I've been trying my hardest to find answers, but the Jedi left nothing behind."
"So you are a Sith."
"Do I look like I have gold eyes?"
Leia gave a stern glare at him for that display of unwanted Solo sarcasm.
"Sorry." Kylo said, quickly, "but no. I'm not a Sith."
"Then why are you looking for Sith knowledge."
"It's not just Sith knowledge." Kylo tried to explain. "It's any sort of knowledge involving the force."
"You would think being the supreme leader of the galaxy would be enough power for you."
"It's not about power."
"Then what is it about? Are you trying to find a way to heal Rey?"
"Well now yes. But before that I was trying to find answers about...about this power Rey and I share."
"And what power would that be?"
Leia looked puzzled, intrigued and concerned all at once. It was a specialty of his mother's to have a face with a thousand different expressions and meanings at any given moment. A few had even suggested that Kylo had the same talent but he wasn't sure if that was true.
He wasn't sure what was true anymore.
"It's a long story," Kylo said, trying to figure out exactly where to start, "that I don't have all the answers for."
"Explain the best you can. We'll figure it out whatever it is."
Kylo took a deep breath and began to attempt to make some sense of the strange connection between him and Rey.
…
"So you used the magical power tying the universe together as a way to have sex." Leia said, a bit surprised but not entirely, "oh what those hormones do to the brain."
"It wasn't like that…"
"Apparently it was, at least a little."
"We were in love." Kylo tried to explain but feeling really uncomfortable about this whole conversation. "It's hard to describe…"
"I know what love feels like, Ben."
"Not that." Kylo found himself lacing his fingers together. "Every time we touched, it felt like everyone was right in the universe. And not in the normal 'love blinds you' type of way. It was like my soul was finally stilled. And the dark voices stopped just for a moment. And every time after, just touching her hand had the same reaction."
Leia sat there in silence, pondering his words as the infant in her arms began to fuss a bit.
"What is it like to share a bond with Luke?" Kylo asked.
"It's like someone shares my mind." Leia explained softly. "Like he always knew me. Always be there for me. Like someone was always holding my hand."
"With Rey and I, it was like being held. Like we were embracing. And when we were touching, it was like we were melting into one another. Was it anything like that?"
"No. It was different. If you're worried about the two of you being related I can assure you you have no obscure relatives anywhere."
"Noted but I wasn't worried. Do you have any idea what it means?"
"Could be a fairy tale." Leia almost joked. "Star crossed lovers and all that."
Kylo has thought of that. Something a long the lines of them being soulmates, but most of him just thought that was wishful thinking. He did feel like where he belonged was at Rey's side. But even then it could just be his weak and shattered heart hoping for the chance of love.
"I don't know Ben." Leia said, forcing her attention back on her grandchild. "But what I can tell you is that if you go looking for answers, you might get more than you bargained for."
"That sounds like you're hiding something."
"I can assure you, I'm not. But that is usually how these things go. Seeing the future or too much of your destiny can corrupt you."
"Is that what happened to your father."
"My father died when Alderaan was brutally extinguished."
"You know who I'm talking about."
"I'm not your uncle Luke." Leia said, even though she didn't need to-Kylo had heard this conversation before. "I never made my peace with Vader. I never saw Anakin. He may be the reason I have the force, but I want nothing to do with him."
It was this mindset specifically that kept Kylo from returning home that fateful night Luke tried to kill him.
Vader never got his mother's forgiveness. What chance did he have…
"Why is your son still in the medbay?" Leia asked, changing the subject completely. "You said the doctors cleared him."
"It...it feels wrong without Rey."
Leia gave a sad sigh. She didn't need to say what they were both thinking.
He may have to bring his son home without Rey...whatever that may entail.