Tora Loses It
Well... here it is! Chapter twenty two!
So, after next chapter it will be The Storm. Because, as much fun as it is, I'm getting a little tired of making stuff up between episodes.
Disclaimer: Only own Tora. And the little OC's that appear. Like, the soldiers that I gave names to.
I slowly opened my eyes. The first thing I became aware of was that I was freezing. Being a firebender, freezing is not a good thing. Of course, I wasn't just a firebender. I was a waterbender too. And as a waterbender, freezing is sometimes a good thing.
It's kind of unsettling to feel uncomfortable, but comfortable at the same time.
The second thing I was aware of was that my head was resting on something... hard. I slowly lifted my head off whatever it was, and I realized I was sitting on the ship's deck. Must have not gone back to my room. I thought. Then I realized what I had been using as a pillow.
It was Zuko's shoulder.
He seemed to wake up the same time that I did, and the realization that we were... snuggling, of all things, hit us at the same time. We both instantly practically flew away from each other, with me giving a small shriek as I scrambled backwards.
"What happened?" He demanded, quickly getting to his feet.
"How the hell should I know?" I snapped. The temporary truce was over. Now I could be as mean as I wanted. "I fell asleep!"
"So did I!"
It seemed that our shouting had woken up the others, and soon Iroh and the soldiers came stumbling onto the deck, rubbing their eyes blearily. We might be firebenders, and firebenders "rise with the sun", but that didn't mean we were all actually were pleasant in the morning.
"Whazgoin'on?" Katsu mumbled, rubbing his face.
"NOTHING!" Zuko yelled, before he grabbed his discarded armour and stormed away angrily.
"Geez, a little touchy in the morning, aren't you?" I muttered under my breath.
The truce was totally over.
~~Water~~
Later on, I sat watching Zuko practice his firebending. Iroh sat next to me, both of us watching him practice. As much as I hate to admit it, he was good. Better than I was, anyway. I wanted to learn more. From Iroh. If anyone could turn me into a master, he could. Unfortunately, the one rule of Zuko's that Iroh could not or would not break was that he would not teach me any firebending. Zuko said that I could use the learnings against him and the soldiers and escape, and then he wouldn't have his bait for the Avatar anymore.
Well, it was true. I would jump ship as soon as I got the chance. But I fail to see the logic in me being bait for somebody who thinks I'm dead.
Absentmindedly, I began to make a flame flicker across my palm.
"What are you doing, Tora?" Iroh asked, glancing at me.
Not replying, I concentrated on making the flame bigger. After a second I got bored, so I started maneuvering the flame through my fingers and around my hand. Then when I got even more bored, I flicked my wrist, and a small water snake rose out of a water barrel nearby, ready for the trainer's to drink. I started maneuvering the water around the flames, and attempted to do something I had never done before. Slowly, I made sure the flame stayed in the center of my palm, and made it smaller than it was now. Using my other hand, I manipulated the water so it made a sort of sphere around the flame. "Careful..." I whispered.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
With a shriek of panic, the water splashed to the ground, extinguishing the flame in the process. I groaned in frustration, then looked up to see who had broken my concentration. Of course, it was Zuko. "I was trying to do a trick!"
"You're not allowed to be firebending on my ship!" The banished prince snapped angrily. When was he not snapping angrily?
"So? You're not the boss of me." I said stubbornly, sticking out my tongue at him childishly.
"You-" Zuko stopped his rage right after the first word of his sentence and looked up. I looked at where he was staring, and saw a coastline, the cliff's overlooking the beaches speckled with lush green trees. For a moment, I didn't see anything wrong.
But I did smell it. It took me a moment, but I detected something in the wind.
Burning flesh.
Then I saw the smoke pillar rising out of the trees. "What is that?" Zuko muttered to himself.
Then, a scream broke through my thoughts.
They killed us!
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who heard it, because instantly, Iroh had clasped his hands over his ears, looking like he was in pain. Zuko was at his side instantly. "Uncle, what is it?" He asked, sounding concerned for his uncle's wellbeing.
The screaming returned. They killed us!
Killed us!
Killed us!
I suddenly realized something. It's inside my head!
They killed us!
Killed us! We will kill!
We will kill them!
Suddenly, I wasn't on the ship anymore. I was standing in the center of a black void of space. I could only see two things: Iroh, who was standing next to me and looking incredibly worried, and a shining ball of light in the center of the room, if that's where we were. It seemed to be the ball of light that was screaming. "Iroh, where are we?" I whispered to him. No response.
I stood up straight. "Who are you? Who's out there?" I demanded. "Why are you spreading such hatred?"
More screaming. Kill them! Kill them!
Slowly, I reached out to the ball of light, despite Iroh's sudden cry. "Tora, do not touch it!" I ignored him, and attempted to take the ball into my hands.
"Where are you?" I whispered. "Can you tell me-"
KILL!
The sudden screech made me recoil, and the light seemed to glow brighter than before. Instinctively, I raised my hands in defense, to shield myself from the light.
Corpsesontheground - burningbuildings - childrensomanychildrendeadontheground - bloodohthere'sbloodeverywhere - somuchblood - peopleontheground - blankunseeingeyes-
"NO!" I screamed, covering my eyes with my hands to block out the images. I had seen everything - everything.
Suddenly I realized I was back on the ship, on my knees, holding my head in my hands.
"Tora! Iroh! What's wrong?" I heard several soldiers call out in a rush of voices. Iroh and I seemed to be the center of attention at the moment.
"Did you see that?" I gasped.
"See what?"
Before I knew it, I was on my feet, calling to the soldiers and waving frantically. "HURRY! WE HAVE TO GET THERE IMMEDIATELY! GET THE RHINO'S SADDLED! GET THE SHIP TO LAND! WE HAVE TO HELP!"
Third POV TEMPORARILY.
"What a minute!" Zuko yelled, the first one to question Tora's order. The girl had run to the railing of the ship, racing past him, and leaned over the side. "This is my ship! You can't order people around like that! That's my job! And stop yelling, you're gonna put them all in a-"
Zuko stopped talking when a loud SPLASH was heard. He blinked, and noticed that Tora wasn't where she had been a moment before. "Panic…" He finished lamely. He rushed over to the side of the ship and looked over the railing, only to see Tora waterbending herself across the surface as fast as she could. "COME BACK HERE!" He yelled after her. Tora did not turn around, and instead started moving herself faster.
"What should we do, Prince Zuko?" Iroh asked, coming up beside his nephew. It seemed he had recovered from his momentary state of panic, and was now his calm, tea-loving self again.
Zuko was silent for a moment, before he finally grumbled, "Get the rhino's saddled up. We have to go after her."
Iroh nodded, smiling. "Good choice." He chose to ignore the curse word the Zuko muttered under his breath after he said that.
~~Water~~
Tora's POV
After reaching the beach, I didn't wait for Zuko's ship to catch up with me. I hit the beaches and started sprinting as fast as I could, barrelling through the trees that scratched my face and arms with their thick branches. Such terrible sadness... and violent anger... I shuddered, remembering the images I had seen. They had been horrible! I never wanted to see that again! But I was curious as to why only Iroh and I were affected.
I followed the path of the smoke pillar. It was easy to see, even through the trees that towered above me with their thick branches.
~~Water~~
When I finally came to the village, I stopped running and leaned over, panting and trying to catch my breath. When I looked up, I was met with a horrible sight.
The village had been completely destroyed. Obviously it wasn't a battle. It was a massacre. There were no other warrior-types besides the Fire Nation soldiers that had been killed, and there weren't very many of them. All of the people besides the soldiers were either women and children, or just men with swords in their hands and a fearful look in their unseeing eyes.
"Oh, Spirits…" I whispered, looking back down. I felt bile rise up in my throat, and stumbled over to an empty area, where I was silently sick for a moment.
When I had gotten the vomit out of my system, I sort of just wandered through the streets, over the bodies of the women and children that had been cruelly murdered before their time. Tears started burning my eyes and clouded my vision.
I suddenly realized someone was screaming. It continued for a moment, before there was silence. I tensed and followed the sound, turning a corner. What I saw was horrifying. There was a little girl, probably not even seven, the same age as Lili was when I had left the South Pole. She was surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers, all of whom were laughing and jeering. The girl's body was covered in bloody wounds. One of the soldiers looked up and noticed me standing there. My eyes widened as I saw the dead girl's bright green eyes staring at me, unseeing. My mouth fell open a little.
I realized I was shaking. Angry tears started to spill down my cheeks, and I spotted a long farming tool that looked like a cane in the hands of a farmer. He had obviously been trying to defend himself. Without even thinking, I snatched up the tool, wrenching it from the dead man's grip. "I'LL KILL YOU!" I screamed, flying toward the soldiers, swinging the cane around like it was a sword. They reacted instantly, of course, pulling out their own swords. So, they're nonbender soldiers. Don't see too many of those these days. They tried to hit me with their swords and knives and daggers, but somehow I managed to avoid getting sliced open by them. Swinging the cane around, moving so gracefully I felt like I was dancing, I fought them. I slammed the hard end of the cane against them, some of them getting hit in the head with a satisfying crack!, and others in the neck, stomach, throat, or anywhere else. Blood flew across the sky, some of it splattering against my skin, but I didn't stop to think about it at all. I leapt over one of the falling soldiers toward one of the two still-standing soldiers, giving a battle cry that would have made Moro proud. As he tried to attack me with his sword, I hit the rain guard with the hard end of the cane, shattering it with unnatural strength. As soon as the sword shattered, I kicked the man in the chest, knocking him backwards and crashing his head against a stone wall. The last soldier standing dove towards me with his sword, but I blocked all his hits with the cane, and then swung the cane and cracked it against the side of his head.
"What's going on over there?" I heard someone call. More soldiers rounded the corner. They saw the bodies of their comrades on the ground, dead, and gasped. Then they lit fireballs in their hands. Now we have some benders! "BASTARDS!" I screamed at them. I raced toward them, still holding the farming tool tightly in my grip.
"Tora!" I heard Iroh yell. He was a ways away from me, but he could see what was happening from where he was rushing toward me. So they finally caught up. I ignored him, and lunged at the living soldiers, another battle cry coming from me. The soldier raised his armor, which, unfortunately, was strong enough that when I attempted to hit him with the farming tool, the end went flying off. Suddenly, I lept back, somehow managing to do a somersault in the air, before landing a few feet away from the soldiers. My hands patted the ground, searching for a weapon I could use. I didn't even think about my bending. Finally, my hand drifted over one of the swords of the soldiers I had killed. Seizing the hilt, I flew toward the soldiers again, eyes blazing wildly.
Suddenly, a fireball hit the ground between me and the soldier I had been charging, stopping both of us. The surprise caught us both off guard, giving the others enough time to catch up with me. I felt a pair of arms circle around my waist and lift me from the ground, ignoring my thrashing. "Tora, calm down."
I blinked in surprise. Zuko?
Iroh stood in between me and the soldier I had just been about to face, head on. Finally, I stopped thrashing in Zuko's arms, and instead started shaking. I had just gone temporarily insane. I had... oh Spirits, oh Agni, I had killed somebody. No, not somebody, but a handful of men - young men, who, now that I had time to think about it, were probably just out of training. And I had killed them! They were probably only a couple of years older than me, and I had killed them all! They had families, people who cared about them, and I had killed them all mercilessly! I had killed - killed my own people!
I wasn't any better than Fire Lord Ozai.
I let out a strangled sob as the realization of the situation finally hit me. I kept my grip on the sword, watching in horror as a drop of blood slid down to the rain guard and dropped to the ground. Plip. It splattered against the dirt, staining the brown with scarlet. Blood… oh, blood..."Calm down, Tora..." I heard Zuko mutter in my ear. Finally, I stopped shaking. The sword dropped from my hand, and I slumped in Zuko's arms, barely hearing his small cry of surprise. My eyes fell shut. I don't know if I fainted, or I was just exhausted, but either way, I was out like a light.
~~Water~~
"Zuko, get her back to the ship." Iroh said quietly to his nephew. "I'll take care of things here."
Zuko, for once, didn't question his uncle's orders and nodded, before turning around. After a moment of shifting her around, the banished prince finally got the waterbending girl in a comfortable position in his arms. Glaring as he heard soft snickers from his soldiers, he walked back to the ship, holding Tora bridal style, with her head against . Katsu and Ryuu joined him, and they walked together in silence.
Finally, Katsu grew tired of the silence and spoke out. "That was kind of awesome." Both Zuko and Ryuu glared at him. "Oh, come on! Don't tell me you weren't thinking it! She just took down all those soldiers using just some stupid farming tool! And she was going to charge the bending soldiers with just a sword! Don't tell me that wasn't awesome!"
More silence. Then Ryuu spoke. "It was kind of awesome."
~~Water~~
There were two of me. But they were different me's.
The first one had black hair, but it had a strange tint of blue. Her skin was pale, like mine, but seemed to have a sort of pale greenish shade mixed in with it. She was smiling. Water streamed over her hands, around her arms like snakes, and her yellow eyes held a calm, peaceful feeling. Her dress was sparkling and white, but turned gold as it reached the bottom, and she wore a white shirt with one strap over it.
The second Tora looked a little more like me... But I was scared of her. Because this Tora had jet black hair that reached her waist and fell over her face in strands. Her skirt was made of fire, and it licked at the floor and tried to stay away from the other Tora. Her shirt was black and strapless, and it showed too much cleavage. One hand held a large flame, while the other held a golden dagger designed to look like fire.
She wasn't me. But I felt a connection to her. I felt a connection to both of them.
The waterbender Tora started speaking. Her voice was calm and soft, and radiated peace. Like water. I am more like you than the other. You know it. You feel it in your soul.
It was true. I felt my soul tugging toward her. But my soul was also tugging toward the firebender Tora, who was laughing. Her laugh was mine - but it wasn't. Water is the inferior element! You know it! Everyone knows it! I am you! You are me!
No. Don't listen to her. Water is you. You're not fire.
"But I am fire!" I protested. "I'm Fire Nation!"
The firebender Tora nodded in approval. You speak the truth! You are Fire Nation! You are fire! You must choose me, or Aang will not master firebending, and the war will not stop! The war will be your fault!
The waterbender Tora shook her head. You are Fire Nation - that does not mean you are a firebender. The people of the Water Tribe - they are kind. Nurturing. They heal. They have no constant turmoil within them, caused by their own abilities. Not like fire. This can be you. This is you.
NO! The people of the Fire Nation have desire! Will! The energy to achieve! That is you! You know it is! If you choose me, you will be powerful!
Choose me.
Choose me!
Choose me.
CHOOSE ME!
I woke up screaming. Tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't know why.
Why had there been two me's? One was a waterbender, the other was a firebender, that much was obvious. What did they mean, "choose me"? Why would I have to choose one or the other? I would never have to do that. I would have both elements for the rest of my life.
Right?
Once I had finished screaming, I rubbed my face, trying to get rid of the tears. I hated crying. Especially when I was the one doing it.
"Tora?" I looked up and saw Iroh standing in the doorway, holding a cup of tea. "Are you feeling better?"
I shrugged. I didn't know what to feel. "As much as can be expected." Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rested my chin on my knees, trying to hold back the tears that were still coming. "Did you feel like this the first time you killed someone?"
His answer surprised me. "No." I turned to look at him, and saw that he had taken a seat next my bed. "The first time I killed someone, I was in the war - I never cared for the life of anyone against me. But then, when my own son came into the war… and had his own hand stained with blood…" He closed his eyes, and clenched his fist. "I couldn't stand it, to see my son create a blood-stained path. This was how I discovered the society." He gave me a certain look, and I knew what he meant by 'the society'. "They sensed that I was losing my murderous resolve. They contacted me, and that was that." Iroh shrugged.
I rested the side of my head on my knees. "Iroh, that thing that happened, earlier today-"
"Yesterday, actually." Iroh corrected me.
"Alright, the thing that happened yesterday - the ball of light. What was that? How come only you and I were affected?"
Iroh looked forlorn. "That was the effect of the hatred in the air, caused by the Fire Nation soldiers that attacked that village. The reason only you and I were affected is because you and I are the only ones on the ship to have ever gone into the Spirit world. Anybody who has been to the Spirit world can hear the voices." He paused. "And then there are those who, even if they have never set foot in the other world, can hear the voices. They are special. I've never met one, though."
Slowly, I nodded. Then what he said hit me. "You've been to the Spirit world?" I asked in amazement. "I didn't know that!"
"I'm not surprised. Nobody knows." Then he gave me a look that made me feel like he was trying to read my thoughts. "You've been to the Spirit world?"
I bit down on my lip. "Yeah. A few weeks ago, Aang helped out this village that had a little Spirit problem. And while the Spirit was attacking the village, Sokka and I were taken into the Spirit world as... hostages, I guess."
Iroh was giving me an odd look. "What was your experience like?"
I blinked. I had not been expecting that question. "I don't remember."
"Don't remember?"
"Well... I've tried. But it's like," I waved my hands in a vaguish way. "It's like the first three years of a kids life. Just a black blur. Like that."
"That's very odd." Iroh frowned.
I shrugged. "It's not like I care. Nothing important happened when I was there anyway." I smiled a little, trying to hide everything I was feeling behind the smile. I was failing miserably. Flashes of what had happened kept appearing before my eyes - the red blanket wasn't helping. The color was so much like blood…. blood that I had spilt. The blood of people doing their jobs.
They weren't doing it because they had to. They were doing it because they wanted to.
That isn't true! No one could have that murderous rage inside them!
Why would anyone willingly murder a child?
They - they were protecting their children back home! I know it! They must have been.
You know the truth. Just give up - the soldiers you killed got what was coming to them.
I let out a strangled sob and let my tears flow. It isn't true! They were doing what they had to! Not what they wanted to! I know it! Those soldiers didn't want to massacre that village! Iroh was instantly sitting on the bed, holding me in a hug. I buried my face in his robes, sobbing. His hug was warm, which was to be expected from a firebender. But it was also like a distant memory - like the hugs my father used to give me.
As much as I loved the feel of being protected by a father-like figure, I didn't want it. I didn't want anyone to replace my father. Even if my father had abandoned me.
"Tora…" Iroh muttered, hugging me gently.
"I… I'm afraid of myself, Iroh." I sobbed. "I don't know what my rage can drive me to do. I don't want any more blood on my hands!"
And I continued sobbing on Iroh's shoulder, until I had finally run out of tears, and I fell asleep.
~~Water~~
I was determined. I would never kill anyone, ever again. I would fight, yes, when the time came.
But I wouldn't kill. Not directly, anyway. I wouldn't put my sword through another person's chest, and I wouldn't cut someone's throat with my knife.
I wouldn't kill.
So, Tora was driven by rage and killed some people. Does that make her a Mary Sue? Maybe it does. All I know is that the fighting scene was inspired by Nausicaa: Of The Valley of the Wind. If you haven't seen it or read the manga, I suggest you should, 'cause it rocks.
Well, at least she's not the second Avatar or the daughter of a Spirit or something. I've read stories like that. Nothing against them, of course, I enjoy them sometimes.
Now, maybe I shouldn't be telling you this - but whatever: Tora's new resolve to never kill a human will be one of the things about her character that develops over time.
It's a war. There's going to be deaths. She just has to face up to it, because frankly, I don't think she realizes it yet.