Misato dreamt of blood.

She was stumbling through the ruins of Tokyo-3, clutching at her blood-soaked wounds as she looked for some sign of life. Streams of blood ran through the streets. She was surrounded by bodies. The dead bodies of the civilian staff at NERV, everyone who died under her command. Faces she had seen every day, but most of whom she never knew.

Her entire body was giving up on her. But she had to keep moving. She had to get somewhere.

Her legs gave way and she collapsed to the ground. Looking up, she was faced with a horrifying sight: Eva Unit 02 on the battlefield, impaled beyond recognition.

No, no it wasn't Unit 02. It was Asuka. And she was still screaming.

She turned to see Shinji standing nearby, his head turned to the ground.

"Shinji," she rasped. "Save… save her. Save Asuka."

But Shinji didn't move.

Gunshots rang out. She watched the bodies fall to the ground beside her. Ibuki. Aoba. Makoto. Kaji. Ritsuko.

She looked up to see the heat of a massive detonation consume her.

She felt her entire body as it was torn apart before her very eyes.

She awoke with a start, once again facing a ceiling that was a little more familiar but still unwelcoming.

She sat up. She was alive. She was in a house. Shinji and Asuka were sleeping in the other room. Everything was fine.

She glanced down and realized her hands were shaking. She gripped them into fists in a vain attempt to steady them, before using them to cover her face and suppress a sob.

No. Everything was not fine.

After composing herself, she got out of bed, walked out of the bedroom, and headed into the bathroom across the hall. She turned on the light and looked at herself in the mirror.

If she had any makeup, she would put some on to hide the bruises where Asuka hit her. But she did not.

She stepped out of the bathroom again, only to encounter Asuka patiently waiting to go in.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Good morning," Misato said.

Asuka scowled. She brushed past Misato without responding, went into the bathroom, and closed the door.

Misato sighed. This was going to be a rough day.

Episode 4: The New Normal

Breakfast was scrambled reconstituted powdered egg and some jerky.

All things considered, it wasn't that bad.

Shinji could clearly see bruises all over Misato's face, although if she was in pain she wasn't showing it.

Asuka for her part seemed kind of cheerful. Maybe she had moved on.

He saw Asuka sneak a dirty glare at Misato. Nope, never mind.

He cleared his throat.

The both of them looked at him expectantly.

"I…" Suddenly he felt like a deer in headlights. "I was thinking… today might be a good day to start work on fixing the roof?"

"That's a good idea, Shinji," Misato nodded. "Do we have any tools or supplies?"

"There's a toolkit, but it's pretty small. I used the hammer to put the tarps in, but we need something more permanent."

"Well, let's set a firm game plan. We'll go upstairs after breakfast and take measurements, then come up with a firm blueprint so we'll know what we need. After that, a trip to Homac." Misato scratched her chin. "Hmm… we'll have to find a truck, I can probably get one working. We need lumber, insulation, shingles…"

"Someone's taking charge quickly," Asuka muttered.

Misato looked at Asuka for a moment. Before Third Impact she would have run off to do something else instead of dealing with Asuka's emotions. But there was nothing for her to distract herself. She was going to have to deal with his head on.

"Did either of you have plans for today?" she asked.

"We've been focused on using the radio to try to communicate with anyone else who might have returned," Shinji explained. "Other than that it's been about fixing the house together. Plus scavenging—food, clothes, that sort of thing."

Misato nodded. "I'm proud of you two for figuring out how to survive so quickly."

Asuka let out a spiteful laugh.

"Asuka? Is there something you want to say?"

"No."

"We also found some video games," Shinji added. "And a couple of movies. But I think the TV here is broken."

"Maybe we'll focus on that after we get the roof fixed. I think having access to multiple bedrooms is a priority."

"Now that we can agree on," Asuka snorted.

After spending the morning taking measurements of the second floor and consulting some basic architecture books the previous owners had lying around, they had a firm design set for the roof. Granted, it wasn't going to aesthetically match the rest of the house, but the important thing was that it was a functioning roof.

Once they'd determined what they needed, they had some lunch and then set out for Homac. They chose to start off on foot while they looked for a vehicle they could use.

It took a little bit of searching, but they soon found what they were looking for: a pickup truck to pile their supplies into. The keys were still in the ignition—apparently whoever had been using it had just turned it off when Third Impact occurred. There was even some gas in the tank.

"Dead battery, though," Misato remarked as she played with the key. "Must be from disuse. But nothing I can't handle." She popped the hood and started looking around for some jumper cables.

Shinji watched Misato play with the car battery, then looked over at Asuka, who was staring off into the distance.

"She'll get the car going," Shinji assured Asuka. "She's great with cars. Not even an N2 mine blast could stop her from getting a car started."

"Tft," Asuka replied. "Don't suppose she could teach us to drive too, could she?"

"Maybe?" Shinji raised an eyebrow. "We could certainly ask."

"Good. Because nothing would give me more pleasure to drive as far away from here as possible if it meant getting away from her."

Pause. "And getting away from me, too?"

Asuka closed her eyes in frustration, then glared at Shinji. "Don't start putting me on a guilt trip. Besides, it's just a hypothetical situation."

"Hey Shinji!" Misato called out. "Could you turn the key in the ignition when I tell you? I think I might have figured this out!"

"Mommy's calling," Asuka said sarcastically as she walked off.

Shinji thought about responding, but he was interrupted by Misato. "Shinji!"

"Coming!" He climbed into the drivers' seat and felt around for the ignition. As he did so, he was suddenly keenly aware he was a tiny person in a massive machine with far more power inside of it than he could ever imagine. He shook off the thought and turned the key, and was relieved to hear a rumbling sound.

"Okay, we're in business!" Misato appeared. "Alright, which one of you wants to ride shotgun, which one wants to ride in the flatbed?" Then she faltered. "Wait, where's Asuka?"

Shinji leaned out of the truck to look. Where had Asuka gone?

They found her standing only a couple of meters away, kneeling down and staring at the ground.

"Asuka!" Shinji ran up. "What is it?"

"I found these," she said, pointing to some tracks in the ground.

Misato walked over and inspected the tracks. "Bear tracks," she remarked. "A large bear by the looks of it," she added, a little more concerned.

Shinji stared at the tracks. They looked relatively fresh. "But…we haven't seen any bears, much less tracks."

"Well, the tracks are probably because the rain last night kicked up a lot of mud. But as far as sightings, my guess is they haven't gotten to the part of the city where the house is."

Asuka looked at Misato. "Haven't wild bears been extinct since before 2nd Impact?"

"Yes, but even then they weren't exactly known to wander around residential areas." Misato stood up. "There's a zoo a couple of miles further north. Whatever made this probably came from there."

"Just our luck," Asuka muttered. "So, Major Katsuragi, what should we do?"

Misato winced slightly. This was hardly the time for Asuka to voice her disdain. "We continue to Homac. But keep an eye out—if we see a bear, we run."

The drive to Homac was relatively smooth, although everyone was pretty rattled by the bear tracks.

Empty mall parking lots were probably Shinji's least favorite sight. It was a reminder of just how empty the world was now. During his time alone, it was an even starker reminder—at least when he was in the house he could pretend he had closed himself off from the outside world, but seeing a parking lot reminded him that there wasn't even an outside world anymore.

Unlike the supermarkets Shinji and Asuka had been raiding, this store's façade was relatively untouched by the N2 blast—it was further into the suburbs. So Misato had to actually break open the door for them to get in.

"No power," she remarked as she pulled out her flashlight and shined it into the dark store. "Okay, you two. I don't want us to be this far away from the house for too long. We'll grab the supplies for the roof, and if there's anything else here you think might be useful grab it. I wanna be out of here in an hour."

"Barking orders like she's our commander," Asuka remarked mostly to herself, as she and Shinji placed another roll of insulation material onto the cart. "It's like NERV all over again."

Shinji didn't agree for obvious reasons, but he knew Asuka was exaggerating for her own benefit. "Someone has to take charge," he pointed out. "And she seems to know what she's doing."

"Her? Knowing what she's doing? Give me a break." Asuka began pushing the cart for the door. "Come on, let's get this on the truck."

Shinji sighed as he followed along. On the way he glanced over at the candy selection at the exit and grabbed a bar of chocolate for himself. On grocery store raids they were usually more focused on actual meals instead of snacks, since that was relatively more important. He'd never thought to grab one of these until now.

They emerged into the parking lot and began loading the insulation into the flatbed, next to the timber Ms. Misato had already brought out.

"Asuka, can I be honest with you?"

Asuka bit back the urge to say "I don't know, can you?" "What is it?" she asked instead.

"You're being really mean to her."

"Me? Mean? Whatever made you think that?"

"You tried to beat her up last night."

Asuka nearly lost her grip on the insulation. After steadying herself, she sighed. "That house is too small," she grumbled. "Can't wait for us to have our own rooms again."

"Asuka, why do you hate her so much?"

Asuka thought for a moment. "Do you remember how I felt when it seemed like my entire world was ending?"

Shinji knew exactly how she had felt. That was one of the things about Instrumentality: he now had complete knowledge of most of her feelings, especially during a time where he had been so closed off he had no idea of any of Asuka's intentions or emotions. So he nodded.

"Where was Major Katsuragi when all that was happening?"

"She was busy! Continuing Kaji's work, trying to find out all she could about NERV and SEELE! You know that!"

"Yeah, meanwhile I was supposed to be under her care and she didn't do shit when I ran away!"

"She sent Section-2 to look for you! She did the same for me when I ran away!"

"But it was always about you, Shinji!" There it was. "Don't you get it? She only cared about your well-being, she never gave a damn about mine!"

"Well that's because I—" and Shinji immediately stopped talking.

"Because you what?" Asuka asked, puzzled.

No response.

And then it hit her. "If you were about to say it was because you were more important, I swear…"

Silence.

Asuka couldn't hide her disappointment in Shinji. "You know…" she said slowly. "…I almost thought we were making progress there." She grabbed the empty cart and rolled it back into the store.

Shinji closed his eyes. Stay calm. You hurt her feelings.

She's a fucking bitch.

She's allowed to feel hurt.

Why can't she be more like a grown-up?

Because she's a child, just like you.

He opened his eyes. No sign of Asuka. He had a feeling he should give her some space.

He needed a distraction. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the candy bar he had grabbed and unwrapped it.

The sweetness soothed him, but it also made him a little sad. Simple pleasures like this weren't going to last forever in this world. Not unless the entire world suddenly emerged from Instrumentality right then and there, and society would start all over again. Even if that were to happen, would he even have a place in that society? Everyone would know he was responsible for what had happened.

Shinji was only about halfway through the candy bar when he had the distinct feeling he was being watched.

He looked in his immediate surroundings. No one by the car. He looked at the door. Asuka and Ms. Misato hadn't emerged yet. He looked to the roof of the store. Nothing he could see. He looked out into the parking lot. A bear. He looked back towards the store. Still no sign of Asuka or—

Wait.

He slowly turned out to look at the parking lot. There, in the distance at the edge of the parking lot, was a bear, staring straight at him.

Every instinct in Shinji's body told him he needed to run into the store to tell Ms. Misato there was a bear outside. She would be able to tell him what to do. But he couldn't move. His feet seemed to be planted to the ground from fear.

Run away, Shinji. Run.

No movement.

Get away, Shinji. Save yourself!

No movement.

Shinji was frozen in place.

The bear continued to stare at him.

And then it started to move.

Parental Instincts

Misato looked at the saw. Never in her life had she imagined she would need to shop for craft supplies like this.

She'd thought about buying a power saw, but figured they shouldn't be too reliant on electricity for this process. Honestly that backup generator could probably take it, but if it broke on them they had no means or skill to fix it. So it was hand saws, screwdrivers, a nail gun, and some battery-powered drills for now.

She was on her way towards the door when she nearly collided with Asuka, who was pushing her own cartful of materials.

"Watch where you're going!" Asuka snapped.

"I'm sorry," Misato said. "Please, go in front."

Asuka didn't move. "What's your game here?"

Misato blinked. "My…what?"

"Coming back. Helping us. What's your goal?"

"Asuka, this isn't really the time or place to—"

"Are you trying to make up for everything that NERV did? Everything that you did?"

She didn't answer right away. Am I?

"Asuka." Misato gripped the cart's handles, then said with infinite patience, "I have done things that I am not proud of, and I think we can both agree there's nothing I can do to make up for it. But I'm here right now because I want to be here for you two."

"Liar. You're here for Shinji and you know it."

"If I were only here for Shinji I would have left with him in the night. I'm here for you as much as I am for him."

Asuka hesitated. These words clearly had some sort of effect. But she shook off her confusion and doubled down. "You couldn't give a shit about me even if you tried."

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way." And Misato pushed the cart towards the door.

They'd barely made it out when Misato saw Shinji standing there. "Shinji? What are you—" and then she saw it.

A bear. Not a fully-grown bear, but still a large one. It was walking straight towards Shinji, who held in his hand a chocolate bar.

Does it want him? Does it want the chocolate? No time to figure it out.

Asuka followed immediately behind her. "Hey. Hey! I'm not done talking to—" and then she froze where she stood.

"Both of you!" Misato whispered urgently. "In the truck, now!"

Asuka immediately made a dash for the passenger-side door while Misato sprinted to the driver side, keeping her eye on the bear. She grabbed the key and turned the engine on. As she purposely kept the truck in park, she pressed her foot on the gas a few times and slammed her hand on the horn.

The noise from the truck seemed to give the bear pause, but after a moment it continued forward, straight for—

"Shinji!"

Shinji stood where he'd been before, frozen in terror.

"Why isn't he moving?!" Asuka cried out.

"He's terrified! …Damn it!" Misato pulled her gun from her holster, made sure it was loaded, then kicked open the door and fired two shots into the air.

That seemed to make the bear hesitate again. It also shook Shinji out of his daze, although getting grabbed by Misato and thrown right on top of Asuka also worked.

Misato clambered back into the car and slammed the door before hitting her hand on the horn once more.

The bear remained where it stood, now apparently gauging its next move.

"It's right there, just shoot it!" Asuka called out as she and Shinji struggled to get situated in a less-tangled position.

"Waste of ammunition," Misato replied. She took the truck out of park and stepped on the gas. The truck sped away from the store.

"Wait, what about the other carts?!" Shinji asked as he finally managed to sit upright.

"We're not leaving, we're—look, just grab onto something!" She spun the wheel to the left, sending Shinji and Asuka flying into the door and several pieces of their supplies off of the flatbed.

The truck was now facing in the direction of the bear. Another step on the gas, and it began speeding straight towards it.

Message received. The bear immediately turned tail and fled from the parking lot.

Misato slammed her foot on the break, bringing the truck to an abrupt stop.

"Are you two okay?" she asked, turning to the kids.

It would be impossible to really describe the position Shinji and Asuka were in beyond saying they were tangled up much the same way parallel lines are not.

"Me? I'm just peachy," Asuka said sarcastically. She poked her elbow at the giant mass that was now underneath her. "What about you, Shinji?"

"Great," Shinji groaned.

Misato put the truck in park, and the three of them clambered out to survey the damage.

"Is it gone?" Shinji asked as he rubbed his neck.

"Of course it is," Asuka replied. Then she gave Shinji a shove. "What the hell were you thinking, you moron?!"

"I was scared!" Shinji protested.

"So you stayed put?! You could have been killed!" She gave him another shove.

"Hey, hey!" Misato called out, immediately making a move towards them. "Asuka, leave him alone!" She managed to grab Asuka and pull her away from Shinji, and put herself between the two. "Are you okay?" she asked Shinji.

"Seriously?" Asuka asked. "I didn't even shove him that hard!"

"I was talking about the bear!"

"I'm fine," Shinji said. "For, uh, both things."

Misato put her arms around him and hugged him close. "Don't do that to us again, Shinji, okay?"

Asuka gave her a disgusted look. "Are you coddling him? Again?! For being an idiot?"

"Asuka!" Misato let go of Shinji and turned to her. "You're not helping things!"

"How could you be so stupid?!" Asuka shouted around Misato. "When there's danger, you run! If that bear killed you, I would've—" She stopped.

"You would've what?" Shinji asked.

Asuka looked at the ground. "Nothing. You're just lucky Major Katsuragi got you when she did."

Any other day, Misato would've ribbed on Asuka for almost saying how much she cared about Shinji. But she knew better than to tease Asuka at this moment. "Alright. You two work on emptying the carts into the truck. I'll see what I can salvage from the stuff that fell out. Anything that's broken, we'll get more of it from the store, but I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Okay?"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Asuka replied, heading over to the carts.

Shinji looked at Misato. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Me? I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Your hands are shaking."

Misato consciously steadied her hands. "I'll manage."

The ride back to the house passed without incident. Both Shinji and Asuka rode in the passenger seat at Misato's insistence.

Asuka hazarded a glance over at Misato. Their guardian was watching the road like a hawk, clearly on the lookout for any predators looking to make a snack out of her charges.

She really didn't know what to think of her. On the one hand, she still felt resentment—this was the woman who allowed her to nearly starve to death after Kaji left. And she was the one who tried to manipulate Shinji by kissing him.

Not that Asuka was jealous or anything. I mean, how could she be jealous? It wasn't like it would actually work between those two.

Definitely not jealous.

At all.

Nope.

Nuh-uh.

No jealousy whatsoever.

Where was she going with this?

Oh right, resentment. But on the other hand, she couldn't deny just how quickly she had sprung into action the moment they were in danger.

Well, the moment Shinji was in danger.

The truck came to a stop in front of the house.

"Huh, made it back before dinner," Misato remarked.

It took Shinji a moment to ask, "How do you know?"

"Dashboard clock's working," she replied. She pointed at the dashboard. Sure enough, the hands on the analog clock read 4:34. "Must be on a separate battery. But that gives us something we can use to set our watches. Alright, let's just rest for today, we can start some proper work tomorrow."

They opened the car doors and began making their way towards the house.

"Wait a minute."

Misato stopped. "Yes, Asuka?"

Asuka shifted her weight. "I…"

Misato waited patiently.

"… thanks for scaring the bear off."

"You're welcome."

That night, Shinji dreamt he was at school.

The halls were empty. Lockers hung open with their contents spilling out onto the floor: discarded backpacks, old tests, homework assignments.

He'd had this dream before. He knew where he needed to go.

He stopped before the door to his old classroom, 2-A, and went inside.

A crowded room full of students. His old classmates were among the group: Hikari, Kensuke, Toji. Everyone was grinning at him.

He looked at two empty seats: those of Asuka and Rei. Of course they wouldn't be here.

"Ah, Shinji Ikari," the decrepit old teacher said. "We've been waiting for you."

"Hurry up, Shinji," Toji said. "Our education cost an arm and a leg! Well… maybe not an arm…"

Shinji looked at the floor. He was standing in a puddle of blood, which trailed from the stump of Toji's leg.

Shinji walked to his seat, treading bloody footprints as he moved.

"Now," the teacher said. "Our lesson for today: The Third Impact. On January 1, 2016, Shinji Ikari jerked himself off over the body of his defenseless friend and refused to help her, resulting in the death of the entire world. Now, would anyone like to share where you were when Shinji killed you?"

"Oh, I can!" Hikari said cheerfully. "I was having lunch with my two sisters! Then Ayanami appeared in the room and told us we were too lonely to keep on living!" She looked directly at Shinji. "Then we melted, Shinji!"

"We all melted, Shinji," another classmate said, agreeing. "You know that, right? Everyone melted into a big orange pool!"

"We haven't seen Asuka for days, though!" said another. "Perhaps she came back to enact our revenge!"

"But wait! If she did you would be dead now, wouldn't you?"

"The German whore is now sleeping with her own killer!"

"I didn't kill her!" Shinji shouted.

Shouts rang out in the classroom. Shouts Shinji had heard many, many times in his dreams.

"You left her to die!"

"You abandoned her!"

"You betrayed her!"

He tried to cover his ears in vain. "She forgave me!"

"No she didn't," Toji said. "She's tolerating your existence, but she will never forgive you. You know that as well as us."

Shinji didn't answer. They were right.

"And even if she does," Kensuke continued. "We won't, Shinji," He stood up. "If she and Major Katsuragi can come back, so can we."

The entire class stood up with him. Their eyes were replaced by a glowing white light.

"We will find you when we return, Shinji. We're coming for you. We're all coming for you."

Shinji opened his eyes to find Asuka's face right above, staring at him from the couch.

"What?!" he said, moving away.

"You were talking in your sleep," she said. "I was trying to figure out what you were saying."

Shinji looked at his watch, which Misato had helped him set to the truck's clock. 2:18 AM. Still night. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Nah. I… I haven't been sleeping very well anyway. What were you dreaming about?"

Shinji plopped back down on his pillow. "School."

Asuka smirked. "Leave it to you to dream about school."

"No, not like that. Our classmates. All telling me they were going to come for me when they returned." He looked at Asuka. "It's not the first time I've had that dream."

Asuka laughed. "Those weaklings wouldn't be able to lay a finger on you. They'd have to get through me, first!"

Shinji looked at her. "You used to be one of them."

Asuka's smile faltered. "What do you mean by that?"

"Before you returned. You were also in that dream."

Silence.

"Was I—" she stopped. She wanted to ask if she was "nice." But she knew the answer. "…I was the worst of them all, wasn't I?"

He didn't respond. But she knew she was right on the mark.

"You know," Asuka said slowly. "Just so we can clear something up from today…you were more important."

Shinji looked at her. "I was?"

"Yeah. Because you didn't know how to take care of yourself, you moron!" Her expression softened. "That's why you need me."

And then she made a decision. She grabbed her pillow and blanket and began to climb down from the sofa.

"What are you—"

"Don't interpret this as anything other than a friendly gesture." She lay down right next to Shinji, shut her eyes, and started snoring. Only, the way it sounded she was definitely faking it.

Shinji stared at her, partially out of puzzlement that she felt the need to fake sleeping noises, but also the fact that she was intentionally choosing to sleep next to him.

As he tried to figure out what he should do, her eyes shot open and she glared at him. "This is not an invitation to cuddle!" she hissed. And then she started to fake-snore again.

Shinji quickly lay back down on his pillow and stared at the ceiling. He thought about what she had said about him not knowing how to take care of himself.

She was right. It was why he needed her.

But then again, it was also why he needed Ms. Misato.

"Asuka?"

"…"

"Asuka, I know you're awake."

"…fine, what is it?"

"Could you try to be nicer to Ms. Misato tomorrow?"

Asuka glared at him. "That's a tall order, Shinji."

"Asuka, I'm serious."

"So am I! I mean, what do you expect from me? We redheads are known for being bi—"

"Asuka! Do it for me, okay?"

She let out a frustrated sigh. "I will…try to be a little more civil tomorrow."

"Thank you." He closed his eyes and, after a moment, began to snore gently.

Asuka watched him for a while longer before closing her own eyes. "Don't thank me yet," she muttered as she nodded off.