"Maya."

"…"

"Maya, look at me."

"…"

"Maya, I'm here."

"Go away."

"…Maya, I want to help you."

"You hurt me."

"Maya, that wasn't me."

"I thought I could trust you."

"Maya, please!"

Ritsuko watched as her former protégé disappeared into the void.

"I…I didn't know…"

"But you did."

Ritsuko whirled around to face Rei. "What?"

"You knew how she felt about you. Yet you never did anything about it."

"I was her superior, she was my student, it wouldn't have been—" she shook her head. "None of that matters! Why did you take my form for her?!"

"You were the one she desired most. What form I took was purely her choice."

Ritsuko gave a frustrated sigh. "We've had this conversation before. And not once have you ever said it was because you were the bad guy all along. That you wanted to traumatize her."

"Because I didn't."

"No. You had your own thing to worry about."

They were silent.

"The Second is hurt."

"What?"

"Asuka is injured. They are not prepared to help her."

"What happened?"

"There was an accident. She requires the aid of a doctor."

"Rei, I'm not a medical doctor."

"You possess the knowledge required to perform such a task."

"That's just it, knowledge, I don't have the skill or experience—"

"Please."

Ritsuko stopped talking.

"There is no one else who would be willing to help them. Not after what they've done. No one but you."

Silence.

"Huh," Ritsuko remarked. "Never thought I'd ever hear God plead with me."

Silence.

"Show me her injuries."

"I cannot."

"Can't or won't?"

"I am unable to show you the nature of her injuries."

Silence.

"Fine. Then show me how you feel."

Rei stared at her.

A hot, searing pain went through Ritsuko's head that made it difficult for her to breathe. She only felt it for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before it finally eased off.

"It was that bad for you, huh?" she said as she recovered.

Rei stared at her vacantly.

"If you feel so horrible for them, why don't you go back?"

"You know what would happen if I did."

Ritsuko shook her head. She did. "Well…it's nice to feel needed. Where do I need to go?"

"You will know when you see it."

"…Okay."

"Dr. Akagi."

"Yes, Rei?"

"I forgive you."

Ritsuko stared. "For what?"

"For hurting us."

Ritsuko was starting to feel a strange sensation around her arms. It was as though she was passing through liquid. She theorized this was her body reforming within the sea of LCL.

"What good is telling me that going to do?" she asked. "You're not even Rei. Not anymore."

"Perhaps hearing it from one of us will ease your mind," Rei replied. And she vanished.

Ritsuko was alone. She could now definitely feel her body being pulled to the surface.

"You may forgive me," she said quietly. "But I'm not ready to forgive myself."

Episode 8: The Best Medicine

Ritsuko adjusted her jaw. "Nice to see you, too."

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Misato growled.

"What do you think? I'm a doctor. Your charge is injured."

"How could you possibly know that?!"

"Well, let's just say you can thank God. More specifically…"

"Rei?" Shinji looked up at Dr. Akagi. "She spoke to you?"

"In a sense. She… relayed the information to me that I was needed." She looked at Shinji and smiled. "It's obvious she still cares a great deal about you two."

"There's millions of doctors in there, and she had to pick you." Misato stood her ground. "You are not going anywhere near her."

"Millions of doctors infinitely more qualified," Ritsuko agreed. "But also, millions of doctors who know these kids failed to prevent Third Impact, and probably would jump at the chance for revenge. And if not revenge, they'd just say 'no.'"

Misato glared at her. But she didn't back down just yet.

"Besides, I know more about the Eva pilots' bodies than anyone in the world. I could write whole papers on their anatomy. You need me. She needs me."

"Ms. Misato." Shinji was now looking at his guardian with the same intensity Ritsuko had.

In the silence that followed, Ritsuko took it that Misato wasn't going to do anything more to stop her. So she brushed past her former best friend and made her way into the kitchen.

"Christ," she muttered. She felt Asuka's pulse, then her chest. "Accelerated heartbeat," she said. "Sorry about this." She gently felt Asuka's legs.

"What are you doing?" Misato took a step forward, ready to pull Ritsuko away.

"Do you have an X-ray machine hiding somewhere?"

Silence.

"Well then I'm gonna have to do it this way." Ritsuko returned to feeling Asuka's legs.

The girl made a gasping sound, but she did not wake up.

"What happened?"

"A building fell on her," was all Misato could come up with.

"She's a strong girl, I'll give her that." Ritsuko wiped her hands off on a towel. "The good news she made it out with only a few broken bones."

Misato stared at her. "What do you mean 'only a few'?!"

"It's a miracle they're not shattered," Ritsuko clarified. "It's unlikely her left leg escaped without a few fractures, but I can't feel any major deformities so it should be able to heal on its own. The right leg is a different story: she's got a compound displacement fracture along her tibia. I'm gonna have to operate."

Shinji stared. "Can't—can't you just give her a splint or something?"

"If I don't do this as properly as possible, there's a host of complications that could happen. I need antibiotics, I need anesthetic, I need gauze, I need a sterile environment—really I need a fully operational hospital, a surgical staff, and let's face it, an actual surgeon, but that's not an option. Where's the nearest hospital?"

"It's about 5 miles west. We have a truck."

"If I gave you a list of things, you and Shinji—"

"I'm not leaving you alone with her," Misato interrupted.

"Be smart, Katsuragi, if some complication happens—"

"Then that's on me, but I'm not leaving her side. What do you need me to do while you're getting your supplies?"

Ritsuko wanted to argue, but she knew Misato wasn't going to back down. "Well, good work on the tourniquet, that'll stop any potential infection from spreading to her heart. Though… I imagine you had other things in mind."

Misato squinted. "Don't—"

Ritsuko cut her off. "Under the circumstances you made the right call. Best you can do for now is start cleaning her wounds. You'll need ethanol, or some high-proof drinking alcohol—"

"There's a liquor cabinet," Shinji suggested.

"There is?" This was news to Misato. "Where?"

"In the living room. We didn't tell you because we were worried you would drink all of it."

"Smart kids," Ritsuko remarked. "Find whatever's got the most alcohol content. Whiskey, vodka, whatever."

Shinji disappeared into the living room and returned with a bottle of Everclear. "Will this work?"

"Perfect." She handed it to Misato. "Clean regularly until we get back. And try not to drink all of this."

Misato only glared as she took the bottle.

"How are the roads?" Ritsuko asked Shinji.

"They're clear."

"Ritsuko," Misato said slowly. "I'm trusting you on this."

Ritsuko nodded. "We'll be back in less than an hour. And get some more towels ready—this is not going to be pretty."

Shinji sat in the truck, watching the trees go by in the dark.

So much had happened in a short amount of time. It seemed like yesterday he had woken up to find Asuka lying next to him on the beach. Now not only had Misato joined them but also Dr. Akagi.

"It's good to see you again," he said out loud.

"Don't lie to me, Shinji. I'm the last person you wanted to see today."

He decided to attempt humor. "Actually, the last person I want to see is my father."

Ritsuko laughed. Attempt succeeded. "Glad we're in the same boat then, Shinji."

"I don't hate you, Dr. Akagi. You were one of the few who ever really tried to help me in the end."

Ritsuko didn't respond as she focused on the road.

"What did you see?" Shinji asked.

Ritsuko hazarded a glance. "What?"

"In Instrumentality. What did you see?"

Ritsuko thought for a moment. "I saw a lot of things. A world where my mother never killed herself. A world where your father actually loved me. A world where my mother understood he never loved her and we actually succeeded in stopping him."

"Did you see your mother?"

"Not the real her. She died too long ago for that."

"What about my father?"

The truck lurched slightly. Ritsuko quickly regained control.

"Forget I asked," Shinji said quickly.

"Shinji." Ritsuko took a deep breath. "Your father isn't in there."

"…what?"

"I looked for him. Believe me, I tried to find him. But he didn't go through Instrumentality."

Shinji sat quietly, taking this in. "So in the end," he said finally. "He didn't get what he wanted. I guess Rei wouldn't let him."

"That was his punishment," Ritsuko nodded. "His retribution for his sins."

Shinji sat there quietly. "What about Lieutenant Ibuki?"

Ritsuko hesitated. "What about her?"

"Was there any world where you were with her?"

Ritsuko didn't answer right away. "Shinji," she said. "The less I say about Maya, the better."

"What do you mean?"

She thought about her answer carefully. "Let's just say you're lucky the first three people you met were us."

Shinji didn't need to prod. He knew exactly what she meant.

From the moment Ritsuko left, Misato wouldn't leave Asuka's side. She maintained careful vigil on the girl as she waited, frequently doing another go at cleaning her wounds and checking her heart rate.

Hours ago, Asuka had spat in her face. Hour ago, she had felt so much anger towards this girl she had hurt her. Since the day Misato returned, Asuka had shown her nothing but contempt.

Yet seeing her like this, Misato felt nothing but pity for her.

Asuka's eyes fluttered open, but there was a glazed over look in them. "Mama?" she whispered.

"No, Asuka, it's me."

"I'm in pain, Mama."

Misato knelt down next to her and pressed her forehead gently against Asuka's. "Hang in there, Asuka," she said. "Just a little longer."

Asuka closed her eyes again.

Misato decided it was time to give Asuka's leg another cleaning. But as she started to move to get another towel, Asuka's hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"Don't go," the girl pleaded. "Stay with me."

"Asuka—"

"Don't go away, Mama."

"Asuka, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to clean your wounds again."

Asuka's grip was already loosening. She finally let go.

Misato sighed. "Hurry up, Ritsuko."

The brick flew through the glass door, sending pieces everywhere.

Ritsuko stepped in and shined her flashlight around. "Sounds like the backup generators are on," she said, listening to the distinct hum. "Good. That means the refrigeration units should be working."

Shinji followed her as they began gathering supplies. Ritsuko worked like a machine, grabbing medical supplies off the different shelving units, somehow knowing where the right kind of antibiotic and the right bottle of non-descript pale liquid was located.

"You really seem to know what you're doing," he observed.

Ritsuko chuckled. "Despite appearances, I've never performed surgery on an actual living person in my life. Only corpses and the occasional monkey. But apparently that was enough for Rei." She felt around for something, but, coming up empty—"Shinji, can you find the clinic by yourself? There should be a sign somewhere leading to it."

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Gauze and needles."

"…wait, needles? Do I need to pick them up with my bare hands?"

"That's not what—never mind, I'll come with you." Ritsuko finished grabbing what she wanted, threw them into a bag, and led the way.

When they got to the clinic, Shinji sat himself on one of the chairs as he watched Ritsuko grab items from the cabinets.

He glanced over at some of the items hanging from a hook on the wall. He grabbed the stethoscope and tossed it around in his hands.

"I wonder if I could have been a doctor," he remarked. "If I weren't an Eva pilot. Helping the people who are too weak to help themselves?"

"I'm sure you would have made a good one, too. You know, a post-Third Impact world really needs a doctor, you could fill that role."

Shinji watched her for a minute. "What about you?" he asked.

Ritsuko stopped what she was doing. "Shinji, I know my way around an operating table, but I'm not a physician. Medicine isn't really my vocation." Then she continued to rummage around drawers.

"It could be," Shinji suggested. "The world could use more people like you."

"You know the Hippocratic Oath?"

"...yes?"

"I've broken it so many times it's shattered. Honestly, the world could use a lot less of me."

Misato didn't realize how long she'd been holding her breath until she heard the truck pull up to the house and she breathed out a massive sigh of relief.

Ritsuko and Shinji rushed in. "How's she doing?" Ritsuko asked.

"She's stable."

"Good." Ritsuko began pulling items out of bags and setting them on shelves as she organized a makeshift operating theater. "Since I take it you're not planning on letting me do this alone…" She took out a pair of surgical gloves, a mask, and some scrubs and tossed them at Misato. "Make yourself useful."

"Can I help?" Shinji asked.

"Shinji, it's late," Misato said. "Why not sleep in your new bed upstairs? We'll be here in the morning."

"If it's all the same to you," Shinji said firmly. "I'd rather stay here."

Ritsuko and Misato exchanged glances.

"Hope you're okay with needles," Ritsuko said, pulling out another pair of gloves and handing them to Shinji. "And, well, blood."

"I've seen too much of it," he replied.

"Ritsuko," Misato said. "If she dies, I'll kill you."

"Don't be dramatic," Ritsuko replied. "She's not gonna die, I owe you that much."

Sutures

Asuka couldn't remember a whole lot of the past two hours. The pain from her broken leg had basically dulled all her other senses. She could recall moments—Misato's concerned expression as she carried her to safety… a mesh of blonde hair… someone motherly comforting her…

When she opened her eyes she didn't feel any pain in her legs.

Actually, she didn't feel anything at all down there. That was odd.

She looked down, curious as to why.

And then she panicked.

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa!" the figure in the surgical mask exclaimed as she retracted her scalpel. "Careful!"

"Asuka! Asuka!" Asuka felt someone grab her shoulders and pin her back to table. "Asuka, stay calm, we're trying to fix your leg!"

"Keep her steady, Katsuragi!"

"Asuka!" Misato lowered her mask. "Look at me! Don't look down there, look at me!"

"Misato?" Shinji's voice called.

"Shinji, just stick with Ritsuko for now!"

Asuka gripped at Misato's shoulders. "What is going on down there?!"

Misato looked over at Ritsuko and Shinji, who were nervously watching this. "They're correcting the fractures," she explained. "You were injured, remember?"

Asuka calmed down a little. "Right…" She did recall that happening. "Right. Building. Pain."

"Just relax." Misato helped guide her breathing. "It'll be over in a little bit. You've had a very tiring day, right? Maybe you should get some more rest."

"Rest… rest." Asuka took a deep breath. A wave of exhaustion hit her, and it was already getting hard to keep her eyes open. "I can do that. I can rest." And she fell back to sleep.

Misato stared at Ritsuko. "Why did that just happen?!"

"It's regionalized anesthetic, not tranquilizer! I figured since she was already asleep I wouldn't have to give her any sedatives."

"That's your professional opinion?!"

"Again! Not a medical doctor!"

"Dr. Akagi!" Shinji said. "Focus! There's only a few more pins!"

"Right, right," Ritsuko steadied her hand and returned to work.

Misato briefly looked away from Asuka. "How are you holding up, Shinji?"

Shinji watched as Ritsuko inserted another pin and swallowed the urge to faint for the 15th time. "I'm fine," he said unconvincingly.

The surgery took longer than they'd expected, but after an hour, Ritsuko finally sewed in the last stitch.

"There," she said as she finished placing the cast on. "All in a day's work. Let's get her back to bed."

Misato gently lifted Asuka up and carried her to the bedroom.

Shinji watched as Ritsuko removed her gloves and took off her mask. A layer of sweat surrounded the area it had covered.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm alright," Ritsuko said. "Just… glad that's over." She looked at Shinji. "How did I do?"

He stared at her. How was he supposed to answer that? "…um, I think you did great." He gave her a confused thumbs up.

Misato emerged from the bedroom. "She's still asleep. Should I give her the antibiotics now?"

"Let her sleep," Ritsuko said. "Her body's just gone through a tremendous strain, she needs all the rest she can get. But the anesthetic is going to wear off in a couple of hours, so be ready." She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of painkillers. "There's also penicillin in the bag. There's instructions on the dosage in there."

"Good." Misato looked at the bottle, then at Ritsuko. "Now get the hell out of our house."

Shinji had to do a double-take, he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He was so stunned at first he just stared gaping at Misato.

"Understood," Ritsuko replied. She put on her white labcoat, which she had draped over the couch, and began to head for the door.

"Wait!" Shinji shouted, shaking out of his daze. "You can't just leave!" He turned to Misato. "Why are you kicking her out?!"

"Because she doesn't belong with us," Misato said. "Not after everything she did."

"She's right, Shinji," Ritsuko said. "I've caused you kids enough trouble already."

"But-but you just saved Asuka!" he stammered. He looked at Misato. "Without her you would've had to cut her leg off!"

Misato stared back at Shinji. He was correct, of course, but in her mind she could not reconcile this with the idea of allowing someone like Ritsuko to stay. Someone she personally held responsible for so much of the harm that came to Shinji and Asuka.

Ritsuko, who had long since realized this and wished to spare Misato the pain of saying it to Shinji, tried to cut in. "Shinji, you don't understand. I knew everything your father was planning, and I did nothing to stop it until it was too late. I owed it to you to come back and help Asuka, and now—"

"Bullshit!"

She stopped speaking and stared at him in surprise.

"I understand perfectly!" he continued. "You think you don't deserve forgiveness or peace or happiness, that you're better off being alone as some sort of punishment for everything you did?! Well what good is punishment when the people you hurt are no more innocent than you? You may have helped push me to that point, but I caused Third Impact, Dr. Akagi! I killed everyone because I wanted to run away from my problems! I'm single-handedly responsible for the deaths of millions of people!"

"Shinji…" Misato tried to place a hand on Shinji's shoulder, only for him to violently swat it away.

"You don't owe me anything, Dr. Akagi! I don't care what you did to me! I was forced by people like you, like my father, like Misato, to fight monsters from my worst nightmares, I had to nearly kill one of my best friends, and I killed the only person who ever said he loved me, and watched pretty much all of my friends and family die—and all of that has nothing on the fact that I ENDED THE WORLD!"

Misato and Ritsuko were stunned.

"I—I—" He faltered. "I ended the world." He felt the gravity of those words. But then he recovered. "I ended the world, not you. I had months to accept that. And I thought I didn't deserve happiness or the company of others. I thought, 'I deserve to be alone for what I did.'" He looked at Misato. "But then I realized… only caring about the past makes you feel worse now. And there's no point in feeling terrible forever. So when people came back… I let them into my life again." He looked directly into Ritsuko's eyes. "Why should you be any different?"

The room was quiet.

Finally, Misato spoke up. "Shinji, even if you feel that way… I don't. Not about her." She looked up at Ritsuko. "All I care about is that she hurt my kids."

Silence. Ritsuko looked at the ground with discomfort.

"Fine," Shinji said. "But don't you care even a little that without her, you would've had to do something to Asuka you could never take back?"

Misato didn't answer.

Shinji prodded on. "Who are we to throw someone out when they're only trying to help?" he asked pointedly. "Did you learn nothing from living here with Asuka?"

She couldn't argue with that. So she said nothing.

Taking this as her answer, Shinji turned to Ritsuko. "You're tired, right?" he asked.

"…a little."

"The bedroom closest to the stairs is unclaimed, there's already some sheets in there. You can borrow one of Ms. Misato's nightshirts."

"What? I'm not giving her my—"

Shinji flashed a look at her.

Taken aback, she motioned towards the bedroom while keeping an eye on Shinji. "…in the bedroom, second drawer from the bottom." She looked at Ritsuko. "We'll… we'll figure this out in the morning. The night's been too crazy for this."

Ritsuko took a deep breath. "I agree." She quietly walked into the bedroom.

Shinji let out a giant exhale. His outburst had taken more out of him than expected.

"Shinji?" Misato carefully held her hand out as she approached him.

"…I'm so tired," he said. His eyelids were getting heavy, and he was already starting to stumble.

Misato gently placed her hand on his back. "Okay, I think you've had enough excitement for tonight, let's get you upstairs too."

As they started to move, they were met by Ritsuko coming out of the bedroom. She stared at them quietly, still unsure what to say.

Misato cleared her throat. "Ritsuko?"

"Yes?"

"…thank you."

She didn't answer. But she showed the faintest hint of a smile at hearing this.

Asuka opened her eyes to a ceiling she didn't recognize at first. Then she remembered—this was the room she'd spent the first couple nights in. This was Misato's room.

There was a dull pain in the lower half of her body that was getting worse with every second. She looked down to see her left leg was splinted and bandaged, while the right leg was completely enclosed in a cast. It felt like someone had inserted a bunch of needles into her and then just left them there, which was a more accurate description than Asuka realized.

"You're awake."

Asuka turned her head. "Ms. Misato?" she asked.

"How do you feel?"

She didn't feel great. "I…hurt…"

Misato grabbed a glass of water she had at the bedside and held out some pills. "Percocet," she said. "Let me know if it makes you nauseous."

Asuka took the pills and let Misato help her with the water.

"Am I going crazy or was Dr. Akagi here?" she asked, looking around.

"She is," Misato said. She hesitated. "She's…sleeping upstairs."

Asuka detected a hint of resentment in Misato's voice, but she didn't call it out. "What time is it?"

"Around 1 in the morning. Are you hungry? I can make you some food."

Asuka felt her stomach grumble, and suddenly remembered she hadn't had any dinner. "That…that'd be nice."

Misato squeezed her hand. Asuka hadn't even realized she'd been holding it the whole time. She watched as Misato left the room and listened to her as she began throwing together a quick dinner in the kitchen.

She let the rest of the day come back into focus. They had an argument at dinner. Misato had slapped her. Asuka ran away so no one would see her cry. She'd knocked down a building. And now her legs were broken.

She rubbed her neck. Her throat really hurt from screaming so much. She had so many things to say to Misato, but she didn't think she had the energy tonight.

Misato returned with a bowl of ramen. "It's just plain," she said. "I didn't waste any more of our supply."

Asuka took the bowl and started eating quietly.

Misato looked down. "Asuka, I'm sorry for—"

"Stop."

"What?"

At the very least, she needed to get this cleared up. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ms. Misato. That was all me."

Misato thought for a moment. "Regardless," she said. "I shouldn't have slapped you."

"Well I shouldn't have punched you. Or kicked you. So… I guess we're even." She looked down. "I'm not gonna be kicking anytime soon, anyway."

They sat in silence as Asuka finished her food. When she was done, Misato took her bowl back into the kitchen.

"I'll let you get some rest," she said.

"Ms. Misato, wait."

She stopped. "Yes, Asuka?"

"Could you stay?"

Misato smiled. "Sure." She sat back down next to her. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

Asuka sighed. Sleep seem unconscionable at this moment. There was something on her mind, something she'd been thinking about since earlier in the evening.

"Ms. Misato, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course, Asuka."

"I've spent the last week trying to tell myself I wasn't jealous of the attention Shinji was giving you."

"Oh, Asuka, you don't have to talk about this now—"

"Just listen. And I realized something today. I wasn't. I was jealous of the attention you were giving Shinji."

Silence.

"And it wasn't just now. You coddled him. You mourned for him when he was absorbed by the Eva. You comforted him when his whole world was falling apart. And you never did that for me."

"I know. Believe me, I know. And I'm sorry Asuka, I really am." Misato gripped Asuka's hand. "But everything I said before today is true, I didn't just come back for Shinji. I came back for you, too. And I promise, you'll never get hurt again under my watch."

Asuka stared at her skeptically. "You sound just like Shinji," she scoffed. "What are you doing making a promise like that? I'm going to get hurt, Ms. Misato. Shinji is too. That's just how life is."

Misato nodded. "You're right. But… when that happens, this time I'll be there to help you." Then, feeling the impulse, she leaned forward to gently kiss Asuka on the forehead.

As she did so, Asuka's arms shot out and immediately wrapped themselves around Misato as she pulled her in for a hug.

After a moment, Misato returned the motion.

Shinji woke up very late. Noticing it was still dark out he at first tried to go back to sleep, but he found staring at yet another unfamiliar ceiling, this night in particular, disturbing.

Even though he himself had been the one to build this ceiling.

That was the problem. The room still smelled of plaster.

Thank god it held after the most recent rain.

He went downstairs, now tempted to sleep on the floor of the downstairs bedroom if it meant being close to Asuka. But he stopped when he saw the door to her bedroom was open.

Peeking in, he saw that Asuka was not alone in her slumber. Snoring in a chair, her hand still clinging to her charge's, was Misato.

Shinji decided to let them have the night to themselves.