Author's Note:

May 14, 2020

So, full disclosure: this is going to be the last update for a while. I realized after I prematurely posted the previous one that it's probably not a good idea to post an update to a long-form serialized storytelling project if you haven't even thought up how the next installment is going to go. I kept on coming up with a lot of ideas that would have required I retcon some stuff in the previous update, but instead I challenged myself to complete this as it was. And I think I'm happy with the result, but I don't want to run into those limitations again. So, this installment is in some ways a thematic send-off to the first "part" of this story: I'm wrapping up on a few threads so people aren't left hanging for the next couple of weeks (or months) while I give myself time to re-center my thoughts and work on the next part of this story, but I'm also keeping a bunch of things open-ended for when I continue this. As a result, this is a lot longer than previous chapters. I guess the television equivalent of this is a mid-season finale, although frankly I find it a little inane to think of this fic in terms of "seasons."

But yeah. This'll be the last you hear from this story for a bit, but on the off-chance I end up abandoning this fic and someone finds it in the annals of the internet in decades to come (like a lot of older Eva fics, dear god this show has been around a while), you won't be left thinking "Aww…they left a story that's incomplete and leaves me unsatisfied."

Shinji stared at the ceiling for half an hour.

This was probably the time of day that he should go downstairs and make breakfast.

But he didn't want to get out of bed.

He wasn't tired. Not by a longshot. It was hard enough going back to sleep while picturing the image of Asuka on the table, her leg in shapes that made him ill to the thought, and later when Dr. Akagi was inserting pins to help correct fractured bone.

He wasn't even that hungry.

Soon he heard Dr. Akagi wandering around in her bedroom. He wondered what she was thinking about.

He felt bad for her. She had staked her entire life on his father, a man who could never love her back. By the time she'd realized this, it had been too late to stop him.

Well, his father had failed, but at what cost?

Finally, he decided he couldn't stay in bed all day, so he got up, changed into some day clothes, and went downstairs.

On his way, he decided to check in on Misato and Asuka. He leaned in and saw that they were both still asleep.

Asuka was hurt. He wondered how long it would take before she could walk on her own again. During the surgery, Dr. Akagi had said something about how even after the bone healed, they would need to put her through strength training. She wouldn't be able to leave the house for some time.

She's going to be so bored, he thought to himself.

He looked over at the closet, wondering if now would be a good time to talk to her about the tally marks—more specifically, about the months he spent alone before she showed up.

But telling her about that now—how would she take it? The whole reason he had put it off was because he didn't want a situation where he was somehow above her in the misery index. And now she seemed to have skyrocketed on that scale.

Maybe it was best to leave it be. He didn't—

"Shinji?"

He turned to see Asuka was staring about him. She still seemed a little drowsy. "What are you—" and then she winced. She had attempted to move her leg slightly, only to feel the pain shoot through her body.

He couldn't do this right now. So he left the room.

"Wait!" Asuka exclaimed.

"Huh…what?" Misato snorted awake, then immediately grabbed at her neck. "Oh god… must've dozed off." She looked at Asuka. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah…" Asuka said slowly, staring at the spot where Shinji had been only a few seconds before. "Um… my leg's hurting again."

"Ah right, I'll get you more percocet. I think Shinji's getting breakfast ready. Do you want me to eat with you?"

"Sure." She watched as Misato left.

Her eyes rested on the closet, which she knew Shinji had been looking at only moments before. Clearly he wanted to talk to her about it. But knowing him, he wasn't going to work up the courage.

She sighed. She'd bring it up the next time they talked.

Episode 9: Checking Up

Misato watched as Shinji added water to the powdered egg and began mixing it.

"Hey," she said. "Why don't I cook breakfast?"

Shinji looked. "Um…but you made dinner last night."

"Yeah, well, neither of you ate it, so…" She got up and, not waiting for him to do much else, took the bowl and whisk from him and began adding salt and pepper and some things that Shinji wasn't sure should really be combined with eggs to the mix.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. "I thought I was the one on breakfast duty."

"Think of it as making up for all those times I slept in at the apartment," Misato shrugged.

So Shinji sat at the table and watched, occasionally making suggestions that Misato insisted was unnecessary, only to do them anyway. After a while, Shinji decided his time was better spent on other things, so he heated some water and prepared coffee.

Ritsuko appeared just as Misato finished up making the food. "Morning," she said.

Misato took a moment to look up at her… and then immediately went back to focusing on the eggs.

"Good morning, Dr. Akagi," Shinji said. "Do you want coffee?" He offered her a cup.

Ritsuko drank it. "Not bad."

"Better than anything you've ever made," Misato said sarcastically. She put a plate on the table. "I'm going to eat with Asuka this morning," she said. "You're welcome to join if you like, Shinji."

Shinji was about to say "yes," but hesitated. "Actually," he said. "I think I'll eat with Dr. Akagi today."

Misato raised an eyebrow. "Well…okay." She put another plate on the table before disappearing into the bedroom.

"How did you sleep?" Shinji asked as Ritsuko sat down.

"Not bad," Ritsuko said. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?"

"For… convincing Katsuragi. I don't think she would have let me stay otherwise."

Shinji shrugged. "You helped us. You didn't deserve to get thrown out like that." He began eating and cringed slightly. "…little too much salt," he warned.

Ritsuko tasted it. "Is this powdered egg?"

"It is. We're making do with what we have."

"Ever thought about raising chickens?"

"… strangely enough, yes."

Asuka tried her first bite. "You put in a little too much salt," she said.

Misato was already halfway through her plate. "Well… maybe you need salt. You lost blood, that probably means you lost salt so… you're getting more salt from eating this, right?"

Asuka stared. "I don't think that's how that works."

"Well I'm not asking Ritsuko about that," Misato muttered.

Asuka looked around. "Is Shinji around?" she asked.

"He's in the kitchen," Misato replied. "I think he didn't want Ritsuko to eat alone."

"Oh." Asuka looked at her plate. "I… kind of wanted to talk to him."

Misato laughed. "Two weeks of semi-peaceful living and you still haven't had enough of him, have you?"

Asuka laughed too, although she didn't find it that amusing.

Ritsuko had been staring at Shinji for a while when he finally noticed. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"How?" she asked.

"How what?"

"I saw your heart during Instrumentality. There was so much hatred for the two of them, for everyone at NERV. How are you this… this… adjusted?"

Shinji stopped eating and looked at her funny. "I… don't know," he said. "But… I don't feel adjusted?

"You don't?"

"I still dream," he said quietly. "Of the people we lost, who haven't come back… what could happen when they do…" He stared at his plate. "They're not good dreams."

"I see. Well… what about Asuka and Misato?"

He looked in the direction of the bedroom. "It's like what I said last night. I could dwell on the past, it's just… I think there's more important things at the moment."

Ritsuko smiled. "You know, I know some adults who aren't as mature as that."

"Like Ms. Misato?"

Ritsuko thought for a moment. "She's a child at heart," she shrugged, before continuing to eat.

"I've noticed," Shinji replied. He watched Ritsuko eat. "Did you dream last night, Dr. Akagi?"

"I did, yes."

"What did you dream about?"

She took a very long time to answer. "I dreamt about my cat."

"How are you feeling today, Asuka?"

"Well, I'm in pain. And the percocet makes my stomach tumble but I haven't thrown up."

"That's good." Ritsuko felt her head. "No fever. Did you take the antibiotics?"

"Ms. Misato gave them to me this morning."

"Good. She has the instructions on the dosage, but in case she forgets—"

"I'm not going to forget," Misato spoke up from the corner of the room, where she'd been watching Ritsuko like a hawk since she came in to do the check-up.

"…in the event that she might forget, you should also stay on top of the routine. Now, full disclosure: you're not going to be able to leave your bed unless it's an emergency for at least two weeks, and you won't be able to use your legs without the cast or splint for eight."

Asuka sighed. "Great."

"But, on the plus side—once those eight weeks are up, you can remove the cast for good, I'll take the pins out of your leg, and with some good physical therapy you'll be out and about in as little as 4 months!"

"Is there really no easier way to get through this?" Asuka asked. "You're a scientist who worked for a vague, yet menacing government entity, how could you not have a secret cure-all for injuries?"

"Well, let's just say our funding was focused on other projects. Sorry Asuka, you're going to have to recover from this like any normal girl."

"…wunderbar," Asuka muttered.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Where's Shinji?"

Ritsuko blinked. She hadn't expected that. "I think he's upstairs right now. Said he wanted to read something."

"Come on, Asuka," Misato teased. "It's not like you want him to watch your physical, do you?"

Asuka glared. "You are on thin ice this morning," she said without sincerity.

"Ahem," Ritsuko coughed. "I meant questions about your condition."

Asuka thought for a moment. "How do I bathe?" she asked. "Or go to the bathroom?"

"Well, you can't take any baths until the sutures heal, which will take a couple of days. Until then you'll have to take sponge baths."

"I can help with those," Misato offered. Then, she added, "Unless, of course, you want Shinji to—"

"Get real!" Asuka said, a little too quickly.

"Going to the bathroom is the same situation," Ritsuko continued. "You can do it, but you'll need someone to help you."

"So… do I have to wait for a few days to do that, too? Or…?" Asuka shifted a little uncomfortably.

"…do you need to go to the bathroom?" Ritsuko asked.

"I've had to go since last night."

"Ah. Uh…Katsuragi?"

"Come on, Asuka," Misato said as she carefully helped Asuka get out of the bed. "This is going to be the best bonding experience we'll ever have!"

Asuka scowled. "Don't make this weird, Misato."

"Ah, we're already making progress: you've graduated to dropping honorifics!"

Ritsuko felt Shinji's arm and frowned.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Well…no, nothing to be too worried about," she said.

"Too worried?" Shinji asked.

"Shinji, what have you been eating?"

Oh boy. "Mostly instant foods," he admitted.

"High in sodium and calories," Ritsuko nodded. "Not so high in nutritional value. You've lost a lot of muscle, Shinji, though I doubt that's surprising to you."

"…I didn't even know I had muscle to begin with."

"Oh, you did, no matter how scrawny you were. That vegetable garden was a good plan, but you can only go so far with that. You need a lot more vitamins and protein, the powdered eggs aren't going to cut it."

Misato blinked. "So…what does that mean?"

"Vitamin supplements from a pharmacy should do both you and Asuka some good. As for protein… well, unless you're up for growing beans, I think it might be time to consider going hunting." Ritsuko shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe you'll become a butcher when society rebuilds."

Shinji laughed.

Misato was silent. She had a strange look on her face.

"…Ms. Misato?" Shinji asked.

"I'm going to kill that bear," she said.

Ritsuko wasn't entirely sure how she'd been dragged into this endeavor. She guessed it was because Misato didn't want her alone in the house with either Asuka or Shinji.

"Are you sure about this?" Ritsuko asked when Misato emerged from the gun shop carrying a hunting rifle.

"You said we should take up hunting," Misato replied. "What's a better hunt than a bear? Lots of meat."

"I was… thinking more in terms of… rabbits… or I don't know, deer."

"Go big or go home."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you."

Misato stuck the rifle into the back of the truck and soon they were on their way towards the Homac parking lot.

"You're doing a good job," Ritsuko remarked.

"A good job on what?"

"Raising them."

"I don't need you to tell me that."

"I'm serious! I mean, I could never imagine you and Asuka would be that close, and Shinji's practically a completely different person!"

"That's all them," Misato replied. She looked at Ritsuko. "I'm just helping things along. Those two were forced to grow up long before they should have. By people like you."

Ritsuko knew better than to say what she was thinking: I'm no more responsible for where they are now than you.

Asuka closed her comic book. It was part of a series that Shinji had recommended while they were at the mall. At first she thought it was too weird: it was full of allegory and bizarre storytelling techniques, and it had a really dark ending. But strangely, she found herself re-reading it every chance she got, hoping to find more things she missed on her first read-through.

It wasn't exactly like she had much choice, though. There wasn't a whole lot of entertainment available for her right now.

She wanted to scratch at her stitches. God, this was going to be torture.

Maybe she and Shinji could hang out. At least there'd be someone to talk to.

"Hey Shinji!" she called out. "Are you in the living room?"

There was a very long silence. "Yeah!"

"Could you come in here for a minute?"

More silence. "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?! I wanna talk to you!"

More silence. "I'm busy!"

"Doing what?!"

"I'm uh…I'm cleaning the kitchen!"

Asuka thought for a minute. "No you're not! You clean the kitchen after meals! Lunch was over an hour ago!"

Silence. "…Oh, so it was!"

"You're not… doing something indecent are you?"

Silence.

"SHINJI IF YOU'RE IN THE LIVING ROOM DOING YOU-KNOW-WHAT I SWEAR—"

"I'm here!" Shinji appeared in the doorway, looking flustered. "I wasn't…I wasn't doing anything!"

"Show me your palms!"

He held out his hands. "Clean, see?" He turned them around a few times to demonstrate.

Asuka crossed her arms. "Something's bothering you. You've been avoiding me all day."

"What? I haven't been—"

"Don't deny it! You ran away when I woke up, you ate with Dr. Akagi… I didn't even see you at lunch!"

"I was letting you and Misato catch up!" he protested. "You… have to make up for lost time."

Asuka sighed. He had a point. "She's… not so bad, I guess."

Shinji had to smile at that.

"Well, anyway, I'm bored! Wanna hang out?"

"Uh…" he looked around. "Well… good things don't usually happen when you get bored."

"Har har." Asuka glared at him. "I meant something fun. Like, I don't know, play games? Drag the TV in here and watch a movie? Read books quietly? I can't leave the room by myself and I doubt you have the strength to carry me anywhere, so… I just need something to do."

Shinji shrugged. "Okay." He disappeared briefly and returned carrying a book. He sat himself in the chair Misato had previously occupied.

Satisfied, Asuka grabbed the next book in the series and began reading it.

She decided to hold off on asking him about the closet. She was more comfortable just hanging out with him quietly over complicating things.

Shinji, on the other hand, was as far from comfortable as possible.

Misato vs Bear, Round 2!

Misato sniffed the tracks on the pavement. "These were made recently," she said.

"You had to smell it to guess that?"

They had arrived in the parking lot of the Homac, where the group had encountered the bear. Misato had stationed the truck around the spot where they had seen it run off—towards a dense forest.

"Come on," Misato said.

"I think I'll stay with the truck," Ritsuko replied.

"Coward." Misato gripped her rifle and marched off into the trees.

Ritsuko crossed her arms, fully prepared to remain until Katsuragi inevitably gave up and they would leave empty-handed.

But it only took about ten seconds for her to start following. That woman is going to get herself killed.

She found Misato hiding within some bushes.

"Are you sure this is—"

"Shush! We have to be quiet, so the bear will get close!"

"I—"

"Get in the bush or go away!"

Ritsuko sighed, before reluctantly climbing into the bush next to Misato. "This is insane, you know that? Even for you."

"I gotta kill this bear," Misato replied. "For our survival. We need food. Plus, it's a petty annoyance, and it'd give me nothing but pleasure to shoot any petty annoyance right between the eyes."

Ritsuko blinked. "That remark was aimed at me, wasn't it?"

Misato didn't reply.

Ritsuko sat on the ground and made herself as comfortable as was possible with a bunch of branches poking into her. "Look, Katsuragi, I get it. You know how to use a gun. But this is a hunting rifle. It's slower than a handgun. If you miss your shot, that bear is going to come after you and you're not going to know what to do. It's bigger and a lot more bloodthirsty than a JSSDF soldier, if you're trying to get some kind of—"

"Hey Ritsuko?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up." And she returned to scoping out the terrain.

Ritsuko sighed. She wasn't sure where this obsession with the bear was coming from. From what she'd heard, it wasn't like the bear had actually caused them any harm beyond a scare. This seemed like a disproportionate—

"Shush!"

"I didn't say any—!"

"Shut up! It's there!"

"It is?"

Sure enough, there it was: the same bear that had harassed them the other day… or at the very least one that looked very similar. It wasn't like they knew much about bears to tell the difference.

"Hello, you," Misato grinned. She aimed her rifle squarely towards the bear's head. "We're gonna feast on bear stew tonight." She curled her finger around the trigger, took a deep breath, and fired.

With a loud bang, the gun fired, sending the bullet zipping out of the barrel, through the brush, and straight at the bear's head… and then passing it by mere inches and lodging itself in a tree trunk.

"I missed?" Misato stared in disbelief. "How'd I miss?!"

"You didn't adjust the scope before you fired! You need to—"

"Will you shut up? It's getting away!"

The bear, clearly startled by the loud noise, seemed interested in getting as far away from its current location as possible.

"Oh, no you don't!" Misato re-aimed the gun and pulled the trigger, only to hear a distinct click. "What the hell?"

"The casing! You're supposed to eject—"

"I know!" Misato hissed. She ejected the casing and hastily re-aimed the gun towards the bear and fired.

This time, the bullet grazed its target—though this only seemed to make the bear even more eager to run for it. It made a growl, picked up speed, and disappeared into the forest.

"Hey!" She stood up. "HEY! Get back here and let me kill you!"

"You think that's gonna attract it?"

"COME BACK, YOU STUPID ANIMAL!" Misato immediately made a move to run after it, only to trip over some branches and fall face-first into the dirt, dropping the rifle on the ground next to her.

Ritsuko came over. "Are you okay?"

The response was a muffled scream into the dirt.

"…I'm going to take that as a yes."

Misato pushed herself off the ground. "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING BEAR!"

"Yelling only scares it away."

"FUUUUUCK!" Misato threw the rifle down and marched off back towards the truck. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK…!" and so on.

Ritsuko picked up the rifle and followed. "This day gets better every minute," she remarked.

Asuka closed the book. "God, this series is depressing," she said. "I can't believe you got me into this, Shinji. I mean, the ending is dark, everyone's either dead or emotionally scarred…it's ridiculous."

"…didn't you read that one already?"

"Are you kidding? This is my third binge-read." She tossed the book onto her nightstand and grabbed the first issue. "Fourth time's a charm."

"I guess."

She buried her nose in the book and started to read. But she couldn't focus—she had the sense that something was off.

She looked over at Shinji, who seemed to be squirming in his seat. "What?!" she asked.

"I didn't say anything!" he protested.

"You can't even sit still! What the hell is bothering you?!"

"Nothing!" he lied as he glanced at Asuka's legs.

Asuka noticed. "What, you're worried about these?" she asked. "It's…annoying, but I'll be able to walk in a few months." She playfully punched his shoulder. "Then I'm gonna be pulling my weight around the house again!"

Shinji kept staring at her legs. Specifically, the leg that had taken the most damage.

"I'm serious!" she said. "It's fine, stop worrying about it."

Silence.

"Shinji, stop looking at my leg."

Silence.

"Hey! Moron! Look at me, not my leg!"

After a moment he turned and looked at her. There was something on his face she couldn't quite read. Was it… pity?

"This is all me, Shinji," she said. "I did this to myself, so don't feel sorry for me, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered.

He thinks you're wretched.

"Shinji. Don't feel sorry for me."

"I don't," he said.

He's lying.

"Don't pity me, Shinji."

"I…"

He thinks you are beneath him.

"Stop it."

Why won't he talk to you?

"Stop it, Shinji!"

He tried to look away.

"No, look at me and tell me you don't pity me, Shinji!"

He looked back, but his face still wore shame.

"What good is you pitying me going to do, Shinji?! Do you think I'm pathetic?!"

"Asuka—"

He will never understand you.

"I'm not pathetic, Shinji! I'm strong!"

Silence.

You will never understand him.

"I'm strong, Shinji!"

"I know!"

"I'm stronger than you!"

"I know!"

"SO DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME SHINJI, DON'T EVEN-agh!" She winced. In her excitement she had shifted her legs a little too abruptly, sending jolts of pain through her.

Shinji, surprised, reached out. "Are you—"

"GO AWAY!" Asuka screamed. "GET OUT!"

Shinji, without hesitation, bolted out the door.

"Wait!" Why did she do that?! "Wait, no, come b—!" Another jolt of pain, and she had to actually curl into herself from the intensity.

Why did she always have to push him away?

Because you can never let him see you as a victim.

…

You can never let yourself be helpless in his presence again.

…

Because you can't bear the thought that he could ever think you are beneath him.

…

Because he can only be two things.

Beneath you.

Or just like you.

Ritsuko leaned against her arm as she waited for Misato to finish whatever it was she needed to get from the store. She figured it was a supply run to make up for her failure to kill the bear.

It was probably for the best that Misato gave up after the bear ran away. She wasn't sure what she could have done to stop her had they ended up going further into the forest. They would have had either a wacky adventure where Misato would have finally bagged the bear, or they would have been eaten.

Who was she kidding? They would have been eaten.

She heard a loud wump and turned around in time to see Misato throw a large box of something into the back of the truck. She took a closer look—and quickly recognized the Yebisu branding.

"You can't be serious," Ritsuko said as Misato climbed into the drivers' seat.

"What?" she replied innocently. "Never been refrigerated, should still be good."

Ritsuko sniffed. "You sampled a can, didn't you?"

"More like several! Warm, but still fizzy!"

"What are Shinji and Asuka gonna think when they find out you're drinking again?"

"They've got their own problems to worry about! Besides, when I kill that b-b-bear and get them some meat, they won't care."

"What?! I thought you gave up on killing that thing!"

"N-not even close!" Misato reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a can of beer. "We're just here to calm my nerves again." She cracked it open and began chugging.

"Oh my god." Ritsuko covered her face with her hands. "This isn't happening."

Misato finished the can, opened the door, and threw the empty metal cylinder out of the truck. "Alright, Ritchan, let's go kill ourselves a bear!" She cracked open another can and turned on the car before taking another glug.

"Wait, hold on—you're going to drive drunk?!"

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm going to drunk drive!" She opened the window and raised the can to the air as if giving a toast. "Hallelujah, let's do this!"

Click.

Misato looked to her right to see the barrel of the rifle pointed straight at her face.

"No," Ritsuko said patiently. "No, we are not doing this."

"What the hell are you—"

"Get out of the driver's seat. I'm driving us back to the house."

"What? No! We're bear hunting!"

"Not anymore we're not. Your obsession with this bear is gonna get one or the both of us hurt, so we're going home. Move it, Ahab."

After a moment, Misato muttered something explicit before getting out of the driver's seat and switching places with Ritsuko.

Ritsuko sat down, unloaded the rifle, tossed it into the flatbed, and restarted the car. Soon enough they were on the road heading back to the house.

Misato continued drinking her warm beer, which was tasting more unpleasant by the second. "Why do you have to ruin the fun?" she grumbled.

"You're not thinking straight," Ritsuko said. "Better to go home and sleep on it."

"You don't understand!" Misato complained. "I need to kill that bear! It almost ate Shinji last week!"

"Well then even worse, you're on a petty revenge scheme."

"It's not revenge! I'm p-protecting them!"

There was a silence. "This is about Asuka, isn't it?" Ritsuko sighed.

"It's not just about Asuka, it's about the both of them! It's about me being their… their mother!"

The truck came to a grinding halt as Ritsuko slammed her foot on the brakes.

Some of Misato's beer spilled onto her lap. "Ah, come on!"

"Look," Ritsuko said as she stared out at the road. "I get that you hate me and everything I represent in a post-Third Impact world. I hate me, too. But maybe you'll suspend your unbridled rage towards me for just a couple of seconds to hear some friendly advice."

Misato glared. "What?"

Ritsuko turned to Misato. "Being a mother isn't just about protecting your kids from harm. It's about nurturing them, providing guidance, being there for them when they need you. You know, taking care of them. If you get yourself killed by a bear—or worse, in a car crash—then guess what? You're not going to fill that role." She stepped on the gas and they were driving again. "You're basically no better than their birth mothers."

Misato sat there in silence, stunned.

"…how the hell do you know so much about being a mother?" she asked finally.

"Let's just say my mom and I had some long talks about my childhood." She looked at Misato earnestly. "If you care so much about their lives, maybe don't treat your own life so recklessly."

Misato thought for a very long time. She looked at the beer can she still held, before opening the window and tossing it out onto the road, letting the rest of it spill. "They're better cold, anyway," she muttered.

Ritsuko smiled.

"Still…" Misato said. "I would've liked to come back with some actual meat. It's like you said, they still need better nutrition."

Ritsuko slowed the truck and let it come to a stop on the side of the road. "Well… dinnertime's not for a couple more hours," she shrugged. She opened the car door, stepped out, and grabbed the rifle. "Come on."

"What?"

"We're going see if we can catch something smaller. Like a rabbit, I don't know."

"I can barely handle that rifle right now."

"Well then, I need someone to help me keep an eye out."

Misato sat there quietly.

"If you come, I'll tell Shinji and Asuka you caught everything yourself."

Misato turned to look at Ritsuko. Then, grinning slightly, she got out of the truck and followed her into the woods.

"This is Tokyo-3, broadcasting on all channels. I am trying to make contact with any of the Returned. Is anyone out there?"

Silence.

"Tokyo-3 to the Returned, is anyone out there?"

Silence.

"Tokyo-3… can anybody hear me?"

Silence.

He was about to start the cycle again when a voice called out from the bedroom, "You gonna keep doing that all day?"

He lowered the transmitter and sat there in silence.

"Shinji, can you come back? I want to talk."

Silence.

"Shinji, come on!"

Silence.

"…well at the very least could you bring me a glass of water? I need to take more painkillers."

Shinji sighed. He went to the kitchen, got Asuka a glass, and then entered her room.

She looked positively miserable.

"How long have you needed to take the painkillers?" he asked.

"A while," she admitted.

He decided not to ask why she'd waited. So he handed her the glass and the bottle of percocet, and watched her take her medication.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Lousy," was the reply. "This stuff doesn't really do that much. It just turns a sharp pain into a dull pain. I would take more, but Misato doesn't want me getting addicted to this stuff."

"That's probably for the best."

Silence.

"I'm not crazy," Asuka said. "I know you were avoiding me all day."

"…I'm sorry."

"Are you sorry, Shinji? What exactly are you sorry for?"

"…"

"Unbelievable. Back to our old habits. All it took was a building falling on top of me. Didn't realize it was that easy."

Shinji had to suppress a laugh. "Asuka!"

"Maybe you should go explore those ruins, baka. That'll give things a real hard reset."

They both laughed a little.

She took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have exploded at you like that before."

"You don't have to apologize," Shinji said quickly.

"No, I think I do." Asuka looked at her cast. "The thing is Shinji… when I was under that rubble. I felt helpless. I honestly thought that was going to be it. It would've been a pathetic fate, dying from a building collapse. Certainly compared to the last one I got. And…well now, I'm like this. But for some reason… I can't stand the idea of you feeling sorry for me." She looked at him. "The thought that you'd pity me… It's something the old me would have hated. I thought I was better than that now, but—"

"It's because you don't want to be a victim," Shinji said.

She blinked. "What?"

"We've been getting through the past few weeks because so much of what we went through was the both of us getting hurt the same. But if one of us feels sorry for the other…it destroys our balance." He paused. "We're getting along well because we're the same. And the moment it seems like we're not… it's like we don't understand each other anymore." Pause. "Just like before."

Asuka stared at him. "…funny," she said. "I had that exact thought earlier."

He nodded.

"Now why do you suppose that is?"

"What?"

"How could you possibly guess what I was thinking before? Because you're not psychic, and I doubt this is because we've inexplicably become one with each other again. So the only conclusion is that you've thought the exact same thing about yourself."

Silence.

"Shinji… does it have to do with those tally marks in the closet?"

His eyes widened. She'd seen those? No, of course she'd seen them. She lived in this room for a week. But why hadn't she said anything before?

He looked up at her, suddenly panicked, and she thought to herself, Well, here it comes.

But just as he opened his mouth to respond—

"…o-3…transmitting from—can you…"

They stared at each other as they started to comprehend what they were hearing from the other room.

"Tokyo—…Kama—transmi…can you…"

"Shinji, the radio!"

Shinji bolted out of the room straight for the radio. "This is Tokyo-3—I am receiving your transmission, over?"

"—adjust—can't hear—"

"Hang on a second!" Shinji adjusted the dial on the radio. "Unidentified caller, this is Tokyo-3, please repeat transmission, over!"

But all he heard was static. He shifted the dial.

"Tokyo-3 to unidentified caller, please respond!"

Static. He shifted the dial again.

"Tokyo-3 to unidentified caller, please—DAMMIT!" He threw the transmitter onto the table. "DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!"

"Hey baka! What are you so mad about?"

"There was someone there!" he shouted. "And I messed it up! Now we'll never know who it was!"

"Who cares?!" Asuka shouted from the other room. "Someone answered our call! You know what that means, right?"

"What?"

"It means we're not alone anymore!"

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Ritsuko and Misato were pulling up to the house at that exact moment.

"Well, they're not bears," Misato remarked as Ritsuko parked the truck. "But two squirrels and a rabbit are pretty good for the first go-around." She went to the flatbed and held one of the squirrel corpses up by its tail. She grimaced. "So…how do we cook them?"

"Don't look at me. I'm a doctor, not chef."

Misaato shrugged. "Well… we'll figure something out. I'm sure they'll like this. This is probably the most exciting thing to happen to them today, anyway." She hung the rifle over her shoulder, grabbed the dead animals, and carried them into the house. "We're back!" she called out.

"Misato!" Shinji bolted from the living room and nearly collided with her in his excitement. "We heard someone on the radio!"

"You did?!" Misato forgot all about the squirrels and the rabbit. "Seriously?!"

"I…I don't know who it was, the transmission cut out before we could get a clear message, I messed something up—"

"It probably wasn't you!" Asuka called from her room.

Misato quickly moved down the hall into the room, leading Shinji and Ritsuko as she did so.

"I think they must've had a malfunctioning radio or something," Asuka explained. "We've been broadcasting on all channels. But the point is—"

"The point is it was definitely a live person!" Shinji finished. "It means we're not alone anymore!"

Misato stared. "We… you made contact." She turned to Shinji. "You contacted someone. Shinji, you did it!"

"I did?" he asked nervously. "Yeah…yeah, I did!"

Misato made a move to hug him, but was interrupted by Ritsuko's hand pulling her back. "Katsuragi, the animals."

"Oh, right. Here you go!" She haphazardly dropped the carcasses into Ritsuko's hands and immediately hugged Shinji. Then she ran to the bed and hugged Asuka.

Ritsuko watched this with amusement. After everything these three had been through, it was nice to see them have a moment together as a family.

She looked at the dead rabbit. Well, at least the three of them had something more pleasant than an animal corpse to hold on to.

Unlike her. Both literally and figuratively.

After figuring out how to butcher the squirrel and rabbit, they used the meat and some vegetables from the garden to make a real curry—no more of the instant nonsense. It proved to be one of the most filling meals all of them had had in a while. The four of them ate together in Asuka's room, which was fun, although Misato noticed that Ritsuko was strangely quiet the whole time.

After dinner, when everyone had apparently gone back to their rooms for the night, Ritsuko decided to make her move. She snuck into the kitchen, grabbed a few packs of the instant ramen they had, and headed out the door.

She had barely made it a few steps from the house when a voice called out. "Leaving so soon?"

She stopped and turned around. Misato was standing behind her, one arm on her hip and the other carrying the box of beer.

"And stealing our supplies," Misato added, looking at the ramen packets. "For shame, Ritsuko, I thought you were better than that."

"What are you doing out here?"

"I was trying to sneak this in while Shinji and Asuka weren't looking." She patted the box of beer.

"Oh my god, you're hiding it from them?"

Misato uncomfortably shifted her weight. "What they don't know won't hurt them."

"You honestly think they're not going to notice you drinking beer in the house? Or are you going to sneak into some hidden place to drink in private?"

"I—this isn't about me! I'm talking about you! Where do you think you're going?"

Ritsuko sighed. "Look," she said. "This is for the best."

"Why do you say that?"

"You don't want me here, right? You—"

"Don't give me that excuse, if I really didn't want you here I would have stood my ground when Shinji pleaded your case."

Ritsuko took a deep breath. "I have done so much to hurt those two. And as much as Shinji thinks I deserve another chance… I'm still not sure I do."

"So what?" Misato walked closer. "You still need a place to stay, so what's wrong with taking him up on the offer?"

Ritsuko looked at the house. It was a warm, inviting home. But staring at it longer only seemed to convince her even more that she was making the right decision. "…Think about it. You three have lived together for a while now. You've developed your own dynamic, and you've only built on it since the three of you returned from Instrumentality. I don't fit into that dynamic, Misato. I'm just… extra baggage. So I'm leaving."

There was a very long silence.

"So…" Misato said slowly. "You just thought it was okay to leave without saying goodbye?"

Silence.

"No explanation, no warning? Just disappear?"

Silence.

"What about Asuka? Were you just going to abandon her when she's in the middle of recovery?"

"I wasn't going to go far… I would've, you know, come back once or twice to… to…" She hadn't actually thought about that part, and it made her feel very guilty indeed.

"Listen here, Ritsuko. I'm… still not sure how I feel about having you in the same house as them. But like Shinji said—for now, it's in the past. Right now we should be focused on survival. Clearly you understand that, else you wouldn't have stopped me from going after that bear today. So where are you going to go? Are you just going to sleep outdoors tonight and search for another abandoned house? Are you going to hotwire another car so you can live a life on the road? Do you know how to hotwire a car? What are your plans, exactly?"

Ritsuko didn't answer.

"If you're leaving because you're uncomfortable, that's fine. But for now, you're our guest. So until you're actually ready to go off on your own again… I think it's best you stay here." She turned and walked back to the house.

After a moment, Ritsuko followed.

They had only made it a few steps through the doorway when Ritsuko finally spoke. "Misato?"

"Yes, Ritsuko?"

"…thank you." She started to head for the stairs.

"Leave the ramen."

"Oh, right." She handed the ramen packets to Misato and quickly rushed back upstairs.

Shinji awoke later that night feeling a little thirsty, so he went downstairs to get water. But he stopped when he saw the door to Asuka's bedroom was open. Peeking in, he was very surprised to see Misato once again snoring in a chair and a bemused Asuka looking at her.

"She asked—well, insisted really—to stay with me while I fall asleep," Asuka remarked. "But… I guess she got tired."

Shinji smiled. "I can't believe you got so close so quickly."

"Well, her saving my life can have that kind of effect. It's weird… a week ago I hated her. I honestly wanted nothing to do with her… but now I can't imagine her ever leaving us." She looked at Shinji. "I can't understand it."

"Well… relationships with the people we love are funny that way," Shinji said. "You can hate someone one day and love them the next."

There was a pause. "I think you and I know something about that," Asuka replied.

They stared at each other for a while.

Finally, Shinji disappeared as he continued to the kitchen to get water.

They knew what was being left unsaid. But neither of them was ready for it.

Not yet, at least.

Shinji poked his head back in on his way back to his room. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Shinji, wait a second."

"Yes?"

"What do those tally marks in the closet mean?"

He stared at her. Well, better now than never. "They're… they're supposed to mark every day after I woke up from Third Impact."

And there it was. But something didn't add up. "You told me it'd only been a few weeks when I came back."

"I lied. Asuka, those tally marks aren't accurate. There was a long period of time where I stopped tracking because I gave up. I don't know exactly how long I was alone, but it was at least seven months."

Asuka stared at him. "Seven months?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?

He didn't answer. But after a moment Asuka remembered their conversation earlier in the day, and suddenly it all made sense. "Is that why you've been avoiding me all day? Because you didn't know how to talk about it?"

He didn't give an answer, but it was pretty clear.

"I see. Well…" She glanced down at her legs. "I guess now we're even."

Silence.

"Shinji… could you stay here while I fall asleep?"

He looked around. "There's nowhere to sit."

"Yes there is." She cringed as she carefully shifted herself so there was more space on the bed for Shinji.

Shinji stared. "In…in the same bed?"

"Keep your head together, pervert, I just want company."

He looked at Misato. "What's she going to think?"

Misato gave another snort in her sleep.

"What's she gonna do, throw you out? Just get in here already."

Shinji gulped as he walked over and sat down in the bed next to Asuka. "I'll stay as long as you need me to," he said.

When Ritsuko awoke the next morning, she immediately went downstairs to check on Asuka.

Upon stepping into the bedroom, she was greeted by an interesting sight: Shinji and Asuka lying next to each other on the bed, and Misato snoring in a nearby chair.

Ritsuko smiled. She wished she had a camera on her. She could take a photo right there and have it labelled "Family Portrait."