Author's Note: April 2, 2021
...
...
...
...well how was I supposed to know the mad lads at Khara would actually release it?
Hey all! I am so sorry this took so long to come out. Basically after I pulled the original version of Chapter 15 I was sort of stuck trying to crack it so it would match the bar of quality I set for myself. I wasn't able to achieve that before I left for a writing program at the start of February (an in-person program, fun fact), and that has taken up most of my time since then. It was only a couple days ago, when I had a free moment during the program, that I finally figured out what I wanted to happen this chapter.
If you read the original version of Chapter 15 on the single day it was out, you will probably notice some... fairly significant differences, but for those who didn't: trust me, there's nothing in that version that you'll really miss.
I honestly cannot make any promises about when the next chapter will come out and if it'll come before the program ends in May, but in the ideal world I'm hoping to finish Part 2 of Reconstruction by May 3, the anniversary of when I first published this. This isn't a definitive deadline, especially given my circumstances, and I think I've proved to you and to me that I'm not too reliable with deadlines (I mean for god's sake, I said I was gonna put this out by the second week of January).
But thank you so much for your patience, and for the many kind words you've left in the reviews, on here, on AO3, and on Reddit. It really means a lot to read your thoughts on this work that has basically been my quarantine project for the past year. Regardless of any deadlines, I promise I won't make people wait nearly half a year for an update again.
Please enjoy.
-UV
Shinji opened his eyes to the ceiling of his room.
He happened to look over at the window. It was still pretty dark out, but he felt wide awake.
As he toyed with the idea of closing his eyes and trying to go back to sleep, he heard what sounded like footsteps coming from the hallway.
At first he thought perhaps it was Misato, or maybe Ritsuko, but there was something… unnerving about the footsteps. The weight they carried as they crept closer and closer towards his bedroom door.
He watched as the door slid open to reveal the dark hallway outside. But at first, nothing came through, unnerving him even more.
Then, to his terror, he watched as a single hand revealed itself and carefully placed itself on the door's frame. Then a second hand.
And then he realized they weren't hands. They were more like claws, mechanical in nature. Both had a purple hew to them, and one was stained in blood.
Shinji stared in horror, afraid to move.
And then it brought its head into view.
Shinji was staring at the gaping, bloody maw of a berserker Unit 01.
He tried to scream, but he couldn't move his mouth. His entire body seemed frozen in place.
He watched as Unit 01 crawled into the room. It cocked its head at him as it stocked to the foot of his bed.
He felt it clamber on, towering over him until it was over him like a predator preparing to feast on its prey.
Then, it reared its head back, let out a howl, bloody ichor dripping out of its mouth as it did so, and dove in for the kill—
Shinji felt his arms finally move and he instinctively raised them to protect himself.
When he didn't feel anything try to tear him apart, he lowered his arms.
There was nothing.
Quickly, he reached over and turned on the lamp next to his bed.
The room was empty.
He could still feel his heart beating. He took a deep breath. It wasn't real. He'd just hallucinated, probably from sleep paralysis.
It wasn't the first time he'd had sleep paralysis: in the days after Third Impact it had been a frequent occurrence. He would wake up at an odd hour and be greeted by a variety of different images: some involving Unit 01, some involving the Mass Production Evas. The absolute worst one had been a vision of Asuka's shriveled corpse, dripping intestines and blood from her last fight. He had actually thrown up from that one.
The incidents tapered off after a few months, and by the time Asuka finally returned, he hadn't had one in a very long time.
Until today, apparently.
He turned to look at the alarm clock on the other nightstand. 3:19 in the morning.
For the briefest of moments he thought about going downstairs and sleeping on Asuka's floor. Having some company might help him fall asleep again.
But no. He couldn't bother Asuka. She was probably still mad at him for purposely endangering his life. After all, she hadn't asked him to sleep in her room again tonight.
It's fine, he thought to himself. She doesn't need me.
Asuka bit her lip. Finally, she let go of her right arm. As expected, it stayed intact.
The pain was gone.
Fine. It was fine.
Everything was fine.
She fell back into bed and pressed her palms against her temples. And she tried to pretend she didn't want Shinji here with her.
Episode 15: Something in the Snow
Maya knew something was off with Shinji and Asuka from the moment she and Ritsuko sat down at the table. There was a distinct coldness that hung between the two of them as they avoided looking at each other and silently went about their business.
"So uh…" Maya hazarded a conversation starter. "Did you two sleep well?"
The only verbal response she got was a thoroughly unconvincing, "Yeah," from Shinji as he put the plates on the table. Asuka didn't even bother opening her mouth.
Maya looked between the two of them and then looked at Ritsuko. "I thought you said things were better between them," she whispered.
"I heard that!" Asuka snapped. "It's none of your business!"
"Asuka." Shinji turned from the stove. "Don't be rude."
"Me rude? She's been pretty rude already! Unless you forgot what she did to you?"
"She already apologized!"
"Oh look at you, so ready to accept an apology. You who doles out 'I'm sorry' like a broken record!"
"Hey-HEY!" Ritsuko snapped. "It's too early for this, okay? Both of you, calm down."
"Stay out of it!" Asuka growled.
Ritsuko crossed her arms. "You want me to tell Misato about this?"
Silence.
"Because I'm sure she's gonna be real happy to see you two arguing like little children when she comes down."
Shinji and Asuka seemed to heed this warning, though Asuka couldn't help but mutter, "Probably too hungover to notice."
Before Maya could ask what she was talking about, there came a loud stomping noise from the second floor. The noise trailed down the stairs and emerged in the kitchen to reveal an extremely disheveled looking Misato Katsuragi, with hair in a mess and her eyes squinted like hell. She was very obviously hungover.
"Morning," she muttered.
Maya watched as Misato sat down, grabbed the waiting glass of reconstituted orange juice powder, chugged it down, put her hands together and rushed out a hurried "Itadakimasu" then scarfed up her breakfast without so much as even looking at what it was.
Ritsuko leaned over. "Minus the odd couple—" she whispered. "—this is an average morning in this house. Itadakimasu." And she started eating.
Maya quietly ate her breakfast as well. But there were other things on her mind. She had a feeling that her presence in this household was going to be awkward from the moment she'd shaken hands with Misato. But she wasn't expecting this.
Sure, there was some distrust towards her—if Asuka's attitude was anything to go by—but for the most part it seemed the negotiations regarding her living situation had eased the minds of her new roommates.
If there was any tension at all, it was between Shinji and Asuka.
Maya wasn't sure what to make of it. She'd been told that the living situation was different—that her roommates had turned a new leaf since Third Impact, and were trying to make up for their past.
Yet there was something strangely familiar about what she was watching now. Obviously she'd never witnessed Misato in full hangover mode, but she'd heard plenty of stories from Ritsuko, and pretty much everyone at NERV knew about her habitual lateness. And Shinji and Asuka—well, things seemed more or less the same as before.
"So…" she said slowly, breaking the silence at the table.
Everyone looked up at her, expectantly.
With the eyes of the entire household upon her, Maya suddenly regretted ever opening her mouth. "What's, uh…" she cleared her throat. "What are you all planning to do today?"
The subsequent silence lasted a little longer than any of them were comfortable with.
Finally: "I'm doing it," Asuka shrugged as she took a sip of her coffee.
"Pretty much the only thing we have set in stone these days are mealtimes," Ritsuko explained. "We rotate laundry, cleaning, and cooking duties, but the rest is sort of up to us. I work the radio, Katsuragi usually goes hunting, Shinji gardens, and Asuka… Asuka does, uh…"
"Oh I just lie in bed and twiddle my thumbs," Asuka said sarcastically. "I practice my violin and write… uh… creative writing."
Maya was unsure why Asuka seemed so cagey about the term "creative writing," but decided not to prod. "Gardening, huh?" she remarked to Shinji as she looked at some of the potted plants sitting in the living room. "That explains the foliage—good work, Shinji."
"It gives me a routine," Shinji said sheepishly. "I was also thinking of shoveling snow later today."
Asuka smirked. "Do you even know how to shovel?" she snarked.
Shinji turned to look at her. There was a tinge of something unpleasant in his gaze—was it annoyance?
Asuka's smile disappeared. "Just… being realistic," she murmured as she went back to her food.
Misato caught that interaction. She looked between the two of them, then glared at Maya, as if to say, I bet this is your fault.
Maya stared back with wide eyes, as if to say, How is this my fault?!
Misato squinted, as if to say, I don't know but I'm blaming you anyway.
Ritsuko rolled her eyes, which said enough about what she was thinking. "The last couple weeks were about hunkering down for the winter," she explained. "But we don't have much in the way of a set daily routine around here."
"Really?" Maya looked over at Shinji and Asuka. "So you two aren't doing any coursework?"
Asuka stared at her. "Coursework?" she asked. "How can we do coursework if there's no school?"
"Well I know, but… if other people come back from Instrumentality—"
"Pretty big if."
"Let her talk, Asuka."
"—you'd probably have to go back and finish your education, right? Might as well get a head start through homeschooling."
Misato and Ritsuko exchanged glances. "That's… not a terrible idea," Misato said after a moment.
"Are you kidding me?" Asuka exclaimed. "I graduated college! I didn't even need to go to school in Japan! Why should I have to put up with homeschooling?"
"What's the matter Asuka?" Misato asked. "Think I wouldn't make a good teacher?"
Silence.
"Well don't go jumping to my defense," Misato remarked, a tad offended.
"This is ridiculous!" Asuka turned to her fellow prospective student. "We don't need school! Right, Shinji?"
Shinji stopped eating and gave Asuka another annoyed look. "I don't see a problem," he said. There was a hint of hostility in his response, as if he was asking her, How dare you demand I back you up like this?
Asuka's lips made several fascinating shapes as she held in the urge to scream.
Misato, perhaps sensing something dangerous, decided it was best to cut in. "Anyway, it's mainly for practical reasons—you still have trouble with kanji, right? This would be a good excuse to practice."
"I… suppose," Asuka relented.
Maya decided to chime in. "And school's not just for education," she said cheerfully. "It's for figuring out who you are. Surely you two had aspirations beyond being Eva pilots?"
This was met by another silence.
"To be honest…" Asuka said through gritted teeth. "Not really."
Maya cringed. She'd only wanted to help.
She felt a squeeze on her wrist and turned to notice Ritsuko had put a reassuring hand on her arm. "Actually," Ritsuko said. "There is a practical matter we should probably address. We stocked up for the winter with the belief we would only have four people in this house. Now we have five."
"I was thinking about that," Misato nodded. "Today might be a good day for a supply run. Shinji—"
"Actually," Shinji interrupted. "I'd rather stay home today. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep, and I want to try to take a nap before shoveling."
"Oh," Misato was surprised. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," he lied.
"Well then, Ritsuko—"
"I'm supposed to be watching her, remember?" Ritsuko motioned to Maya. "Wouldn't want an 'incident' happening now would you?"
"Hey, wait a minute—" Maya started to protest.
"How about the two of us go instead?" Ritsuko continued. She briefly looked at Maya for approval. When Maya gave a hesitant nod, she continued, "You've been the one running errands the past few weeks, Katsuragi, you should take a day in."
Misato thought about this. "Hmm… yeah, I like that thought." She looked at Shinji and Asuka. "How about that, you two? Just the three of us, alone in the house. Just like old times."
"Yeah," Shinji muttered half-heartedly. "Just like old times…"
No one but Asuka heard him.
"You doing okay?" Ritsuko asked.
Maya shivered. "Right now I'd kill for some winter clothes that actually fit."
While they were able to get her a coat and some gloves that sort of fit, they didn't have any waterproof boots in her size. So Misato had resorted to lending one of her own pairs, which were a tad too large.
This, combined with a thick layer of snow on the ground, made for a very awkward trek to the store.
Not that she was truly complaining. "This is pretty exciting," she called out to Ritsuko as she balled some snow together and threw it into the distance. "I haven't seen snow since I was in elementary school, I barely remembered what it was like."
"Certainly never got as heavy as this before Second Impact," Ritsuko replied. "At least not around these parts. Based on what Shinji and Asuka told me, returning from Instrumentality has an effect on local precipitation."
"Wait, how does that work?"
"Well, my hypothesis is the energy output required to reform A.T. fields creates so much heat it affects the water cycle."
"Oh, right, because condensing LCL produces a lot of water vapor," Maya nodded.
"Exactly," Ritsuko replied. "Nice to see your science is still sharp."
Maya laughed, only to almost immediately come to a halt when she noticed something on the horizon—a horrifying, decayed mess.
Ritsuko looked. "Oh, uh…" she said. "That's…what's left of Lilith."
Maya blinked in disbelief. "That's Lilith? That doesn't even look human anymore!"
"She's been decomposing for almost a year now," Ritsuko shrugged. "Apparently the changing weather has been speeding up the process. Actually, she still looked a bit like Rei only a month ago."
Maya squinted. It was very difficult, but she could make out the elements of a face—a place where the eyes could be, maybe a nose, part of the mouth. It didn't take a whole lot of imagination to put together Rei's face—
The figure was pale as silk as she approached. "Lieutenant Ibuki…" she said softly.
Maya stared in horror. "Stay away from me!"
"It's only me, Lieutenant Ibuki. The First Child…"
"No…no!" Maya fell backwards in her terror. "Go away! Don't touch me!"
"I do not wish to hurt you, Ibuki."
"Stay back!"
"There is something we need to talk about…"
"Maya?"
"What?" Maya blinked. "What is it?"
"You… glazed over for a second there."
"Oh. Uh, sorry, just…" The memory had faded, but there was a strange nauseating feeling caught in her throat now. "Last time I saw that thing was… not fun."
Ritsuko placed a sympathetic hand on her arm. "Let's move on, shall we?"
Maya swallowed the nausea. "Yeah."
"This is Tokyo-3, is anybody out there?"
Silence.
"Tokyo-3, can anybody hear me?"
Silence.
"Tokyo-3, is anybody listening?" She lowered the mic. "Let me guess, silence?"
Silence.
Sigh. Her eyes wandered to a spiral bound notebook she had never seen before, lying closed and upside down next to the radio. She reached over and did a quick scan of a few pages before opening it to the inside cover, which read, "Property of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. November 21, 1985."
She must've left it here, Asuka thought to herself. She pulled it closer and began browsing the pages.
"Whatcha reading there?" Misato's voice asked abruptly, interrupting the silence and scaring the living daylights out of Asuka.
"How long were you standing there?!" Asuka asked after catching her breath.
"I was right on the couch!" Misato replied innocently. "How could you not know I was there?"
"I knew you were on the couch, I didn't know you were going to lean right over my shoulder without telling me!"
"Well pardon me for not telegraphing my every move. Is that Ritsuko's notebook?"
"Yeah," Asuka said. "I think it's her calculations on what day it is. Pretty dense."
Misato took a look and grimaced. "Eugh, math," she muttered. "I see her handwriting hasn't improved much since college."
Asuka chuckled. "Man… I mean, kanji's hard enough as is, but this is basically chicken scratch."
"Hey, speaking of which…" Misato sat back down on the couch and grabbed her own notebook. "Let's talk about your curriculum. Are there any foreign languages you'd like to try learning?"
"I think I'm covered in that department, thank you very much," Asuka replied in perfect English.
"Well aren't you a smartass," Misato snorted. "Alright then, in the meantime I suppose we can work on your literacy in Japanese. I could probably draw up a few worksheets…"
"Misato, I'm not illiterate. I mean I certainly know enough to read and write fanfiction."
"Ahah, but you forget—reading and writing is a much more enriching experience once you are a master of your craft! You can more easily visualize the words on paper, opening a gateway to imaginative worlds that can't be depicted through mere visual means! Once you have mastered the textual language, the creativity and moods you can create beyond mere descriptors is EN DL ES S." She punctuated this dramatic elocution with a pretentious pose.
Asuka blinked. "Okay, you try writing something then.."
"Oh hell no," Misato replied immediately. "The only writing I'm willing to tolerate is paperwork. I'll leave the fiction to the creative types like you."
Asuka giggled. "Oh, so I'm the creative type now?" She couldn't deny Misato had an interesting way of cheering her up.
"Alright, we'll say you're an arts person and I'll shape the curriculum accordingly." Misato wrote this down in her notebook. "Society tells us artists don't make it, but, well, society's currently a sea of orange juice, so who are they to judge? Now, on to Shinji… what do you suppose he would like to focus on?"
Asuka deflated. "Why don't you ask him?"
"Well I don't want to interrupt his nap." Misato was too buried in her notebook to notice Asuka's visibly pained look. "I mean you two hang out all the time right? Surely you've talked about the future with him."
"Not really." Asuka decided she wasn't interested in this conversation anymore. She turned back to flipping through Ritsuko's book.
"Well he said something about wanting to be a doctor. What kind of classes do you suppose—"
"I don't care!" Asuka snapped.
There was a brief silence as Misato's gaze slowly rose from the notebook to stare at Asuka.
Asuka immediately regretted shouting. "I'm sorry," she said. "That was—I'm…"
Misato put the notebook down and moved closer to Asuka. "Is everything okay with you two?"
A bitter laugh. "It's Shinji. It's never okay between us."
Misato leaned in. "Care to elaborate?"
"Not really." Asuka turned back to the radio.
Misato stared at her. "You know…" she said teasingly. "I think one lesson we all learned from Instrumentality is that a problem can't be solved without discussing it."
"You think I don't know that? And it doesn't matter, I still don't want to talk about it."
A brief silence fell. It seemed the conversation was over.
But not for long. "You know, you and me haven't spoken in a while," Misato said. "It's been a crazy couple of days, but… you know I'm always here to listen."
Asuka stayed quiet, hoping Misato would give up.
No such luck. "Fine then," Misato said. "How about we do an exchange of information?"
Oh for god's sake.
"You can ask me anything you want and I will answer truthfully and honestly," she continued. "In exchange, I get to ask you anything I want and you have to answer truthfully and honestly. I think that's fair, don't you?"
Asuka gripped the arms of her wheelchair. "Just how many times do I have to—" She stopped. "Wait, anything?"
"Literally anything. No holds barred."
Something stirred within Asuka. Something that had been bothering her for the past few days. Something that she and Shinji had discussed, that was a source of contention for the two of them—something she knew was on Shinji's mind.
Misato expression faltered. Seeming to realize her error, she started to backtrack. "Well, I mean—"
"Fine then," Asuka interrupted, refusing to let Misato get away with this. She gripped the wheels and repositioned her wheelchair to face Misato. "Since basically anything's on the table, let me ask you this: why did you lie to Shinji about the fact you started drinking again?"
A very, very long silence.
Finally, Misato managed to find her nerve. "I didn't—"
"Misato." Asuka leaned in. "You've been coming to breakfast completely hungover nearly every day for the past month. And I know what I smelled when you came into my room the other day. So if you want me to open up, I don't want any lies to distract us."
An even longer silence. And eventually, a reluctant sigh. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"That took longer than I would've liked," Ritsuko said as they arrived at the store. It was a convenience store that was normally a 10 minute walk from the house, but the trip through the snow had doubled that length.
"I guess we beat the morning crowd," Maya joked.
Ritsuko chuckled. "Yeah. Well, let's see what we can grab."
Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot to grab. As the closest store, most of the shelves had been picked clean, first by Shinji during his multi-month solitude, and then by the rest of the group in preparation for the winter. All of the canned food shelves were empty, with not even a soup can in sight. The store's instant foods aisle was mostly picked dry: they had gone a little crazy in the weeks prior, grabbing as many ramens and cup curries and beef bowls and freeze dried eggs as they could. There were still a couple of cheaper brand ramen packs, which Ritsuko and Maya tossed into their basket.
"How about some shrimp chips?" Maya asked, picking up a bag.
"Those are probably stale as hell by now."
"Oh." Maya disappointedly put the bag down.
Ritsuko picked up a box of strawberry Pocky and opened it, giving it a taste. "These are still good, though," she said, offering Maya some. "That's the real tragedy isn't it? If the rest of the world doesn't return, we're gonna run out of our favorite manufactured snacks."
Maya let one of the Pocky dangle from her mouth like straw. "Why do you suppose that is?"
"What?"
"Why haven't more people come back? I thought the only thing humanity needs to reject Instrumentality is a will to be an individual."
Ritsuko shrugged. "Well, that's supposedly all it takes." She frowned. "Although… that wasn't really the case for me."
"It wasn't?"
"I mean… it's not that I didn't have a will to live. But the main reason I left when I did was because Rei asked me to help Asuka."
Maya blinked in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah. Apparently even with all of humanity crowded in one place, she still cares a lot about those two."
Maya took the uneaten part of the Pocky out of her mouth. "…poor kids," she muttered.
Ritsuko watched Maya with concern. Whatever she and Shinji talked about seemed to have jogged Maya's more sympathetic tendencies. But it was going to be hard, if not outright impossible, for her to regain everyone else's trust.
"Why did you?" Maya asked. "Stay as long as you did, that is?"
Ritsuko took a deep breath. "I was worried."
"About what?"
"About you."
A brief silence hung in the air.
Ultimately, Maya chose to look at another shelf and grab some more snacks. "Bit odd, isn't it?" she asked, switching topics.
Ritsuko felt a tad hurt, but didn't show it. "What is?"
"That of all the people in Tokyo-3 who came back, it was the five of us."
"The five of us that we know of."
"True. I mean, granted, it was just NERV personnel and the JSSDF left behind, but still. It seems like an impossibility that Shinji was the only one for months."
Ritsuko shrugged. "I don't know… maybe it takes more time for certain people to realize their individuality than others. I mean, it took you longer than any of us."
Maya lowered her hands from the shelves. "I'm… not sure that's what happened."
"No? I thought you didn't remember much."
"I really don't, it was just a lot of voices and memories at once, and then I woke up in Asuka's bed. But I do remember this one thing."
"What?"
"… right before I woke up, there was… one voice. It drowned out the rest. It was trying to tell me something."
"What did it say?"
She pursed her lips. "Something like—"
Clang.
They froze. Instinctively, they both looked at the shelves they were standing closest to. But there was nothing metallic to be seen that could have been knocked over.
"The hell was that?" Ritsuko asked.
"Sounds like something fell."
Puzzled, Ritsuko walked to the end of the aisle and glanced around. Finally, she spotted something rolling along the floor: a can.
She knelt down and picked it up. A can of beef soup.
"Well that's lucky," Maya said upon seeing Ritsuko return with it. "One more thing to bring back."
Ritsuko stared at the can. "This isn't right…" she said. "Where the hell did this come from?"
"What do you mean? It probably fell off a shelf."
"There was nothing on those shelves five minutes ago," Ritsuko replied. "Shinji and Misato picked the canned food aisle clean, remember?"
There was a long silence as they looked around the store.
"Hello?" Ritsuko called. "Is there someone else in here?"
No response.
"Come on," Ritsuko said. They moved through the aisles until they found the door to the backroom. Ritsuko gave it a slight shove and they made their way in.
They were immediately greeted by the smell of rotting food.
"Yuck!" Maya gagged. "What is that?"
"That would be food that's had about a year to fester," Ritsuko replied. "The refrigeration unit probably broke. I can see why Shinji and Katsuragi never came back here." She did a quick scan of the room. "But all the better for us: look!"
Sitting on the back wall, next to a window and the service door, was a crate of assorted canned soups.
"They must have missed this," Ritsuko said, picking up a single can. "This should help pad out our food supply easily." She began rummaging through the can to see their options.
"Good," Maya replied distractedly as she wandered over to the service door. She was starting to look a little green. "In the meantime, let's get some air in." She pushed open the door, leaned out, and took some relieved breaths of cold air.
Ritsuko laughed as she continued looking through the cans. But something else was on her mind as she tried to figure out which cans were which. These were all neatly stacked, clearly untouched over the past several months. So how had that lone can gotten out there?
"Uh… Ritsuko?"
"Hmm?"
"Remember what we were saying about being the only five people in the world right now?"
"Well… the only five people in Tokyo-3, to be exact, but more or less, yeah."
"So…" Maya opened the door a little wider. "Whose footprints are those?"
What? Ritsuko ran over to get a better look.
Sure enough: trailing away from the store, right through the freshly fallen snow, was a single line of footprints.
The Truth Will Set You Free
"Well?" Asuka raised an eyebrow.
They had been sitting there quietly for a good half a minute as Misato tried to gather her thoughts.
"Well…" Misato began. "I guess it began with Second Impact, I was looking for a way to deal with a lot of stuff and—"
"Nononono, I don't care why you drink. I care that you lied about it. You told Shinji, to his face, that you haven't started drinking again, but you and I both know that's not true."
"Okay. Let me try again." Misato pursed her lips. "When I got here, I wanted to get a do-over. A chance to make things right. That's what you two have been about, right? Doing things differently?"
"Sure."
"Well, I wanted to prove I could be responsible, so I stopped drinking. But things got stressful really fast—and I'm not saying that's your fault at all Asuka," she said quickly. "I mean you were difficult, but you've always been difficult, that's never been a reason why I drink—"
"Just—go on," Asuka rolled her eyes. She got the point, she didn't see a need to dwell on it.
"—but then you got hurt."
A brief silence.
"And when that happened, it felt like I was failing you two even more. So… I started up again."
Asuka let the words hang in the air for a moment. "So why did you lie about it?" she repeated.
Misato played with her thumbs. "I need you to understand, Asuka: there are some things that I'd rather you two not have to deal with."
Asuka bit her lip. "I got killed by being impaled and torn to pieces before my very eyes. I've watched people I loved get maimed or straight up murdered. For crying out loud, my own mother killed herself when I was 3 years old, and I was the one who found her body. You being an alcoholic doesn't exactly phase me."
Misato frowned. "Don't be so morbid, Asuka."
"Why not? This is practically the house of the damned, already."
Misato wanted to protest, but Asuka had already made the topic too difficult to avoid. "Maybe that's how it is for you," she conceded. "But for me, it feels like I'm back where we started. Like I said, we wanted things to be different. But somehow I'm still the same drunk party girl trying to be someone she's not, who let you two end the world."
Asuka stared at Misato for a moment. Then she made a decision. She locked the brakes on her wheelchair and began lifting herself out of the seat.
Misato noticed. "Hey, whoa whoa—"
"I'm fine." Asuka awkwardly clambered out of the chair and onto the couch next to Misato. "Look," she said. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life. And frankly, I don't know if there's a whole lot I can say that'll make things better, but… you're not failing us. I can't speak for Shinji, but all I ever really wanted was someone who cared about me, who cared for me, and… you've done that." She uncomfortably looked at her lap before adding a muttered, "Better than anyone has, really."
Misato smiled.
"But lying about it…?"
Misato stopped smiling.
"That I can't stand," Asuka continued. "Because… it feels like you don't trust us. And I think Shinji feels the same way."
Misato sighed. "I know," she said. "I guess that's why he got so snappy with me the other day." She looked up towards the second floor. "I should definitely talk to him."
"I think he would appreciate that."
Misato looked at Asuka, then wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a hug.
"Yeah, okay," Asuka grunted as she awkwardly patted one of Misato's arms. "Thank you."
Misato released her hold. "Well, I've told you my story," she said. "You gonna tell me what's going on between you and Shinji?"
"We…" Asuka thought for a moment. How much was she willing to tell Misato? "…we had a bit of a tiff yesterday."
"About what?"
"He—" Asuka stopped. It occurred to her that Misato still hadn't figured out Shinji's intentions in untying Ibuki yesterday—his intent to let her do whatever she wanted to make things right, even if it meant his own death.
It really wasn't her place to tell Misato this. And God knows how Misato would react.
Finally, she settled on a more straightforward reply. "He was being stupid."
Misato looked at her doubtfully. "Well, pardon me for saying this, but you always think he's being stupid. What's so different?"
Asuka bit her lip. This was going to be a rough one. "Well, you know how he slept in my room the other night—"
"Oh?" Misato raised an eyebrow. "Did he try to pull a fast one?"
"No!" Asuka glared at Misato. "No, just… the other night I had a bit of a nightmare." It wasn't the exactly the truth, but it summed up her experiences with her arm.
Misato immediately looked worried. "About what?" she asked.
"Just… look, it doesn't matter. The point is, I was kind of worked up, and Shinji helped me calm down."
"That was nice of him."
"But after that…" Asuka stopped. How the hell was she going to explain what happened next?
Ritsuko knelt down to get a better look. "They seem human," she said. "Boots. Heavier set—I think male?"
"No one's come here since the snowstorm, right?" Maya asked.
"Who could've? The driveway's buried under like 2 feet of snow." Ritsuko scratched her head as she tried to get a better look into the distance. "Hello?" she called out. "Is someone out there?"
No answer.
Maya took a step out to get a closer look at the footprints. "Maybe we should follow them," she suggested. "See if it's someone who needs ourEEP!"
The "eep" was prompted by Ritsuko's hand suddenly covering Maya's mouth and forcefully dragging her back into the store, slamming the door shut as she did so.
"Stay quiet," she whispered.
Maya managed to wrestle Ritsuko's hand from her mouth. "What are you—"
"I said quiet!" Staying close to the floor, Ritsuko crept up to the window and took a peek outside. After a moment she motioned to Maya. "You're gonna want to see this," she whispered. "But keep your mouth shut."
Maya crawled over to the window and took a peek to see what all this madness was about. She quickly realized.
Outside, a fair distance away but drawing nearer, was a wolf. It was sniffing the ground, apparently looking for food.
"What the hell is that doing here?" Maya whispered. "Wild wolves have been extinct in Japan since Second Impact!"
"Must've escaped from the zoo," Ritsuko replied. "We saw a bear a few weeks back, Misato thinks that might have also come from there."
Maya looked over at the crate of soup. "Should we make a break for it? I mean, our exit is on the other side of the store, after all."
"Crate's gonna slow us down—gives it more time to notice us. We could make a quicker getaway if we take a lighter load." Ritsuko looked out the window again and then glanced towards the front of the store. "It looks like it's alone," she observed. "And I don't think it's caught our scent. We'll wait for it to leave, then take whatever we can from the crate."
"What about whoever made those footprints?"
"What about them?"
"Shouldn't we also make sure they're safe?"
Ritsuko looked out the window again. "We can't risk getting the wolf's attention. I'm sorry Maya, it's not worth the risk."
Maya looked disappointed.
"We'll see what those are about when we come back later for the rest of the crate. For now, it's best for us to hunker down."
"For how long, though?"
"Who knows?" Ritsuko rummaged through her basket of snacks. "Best get comfortable. Pocky?"
"A hug?" Misato stared at Asuka incredulously, and maybe a little bit disappointed. "You're all worked up about Shinji… because of a hug?"
"It was more than that!" Asuka exclaimed. "I mean we stayed like that all night! When we woke up we were still… you know!" The word she was looking for was "cuddling," and she knew it, but she didn't dare say it out loud.
Misato crossed her arms. "Look, far be it from me to downplay your feelings, but… this isn't the first time I've seen you guys wake up together since I came back. There was that time I caught you two in bed together right after your injury—"
"Oh, come on!" Asuka protested. "That was different, I only asked him to keep me company while I fell asleep! It's not my fault he conked out."
"Perhaps," Misato shrugged. "But then again I seem to recall that one morning after our trip to the mall when you seemed to be using him as your personal teddy bear."
Asuka's eyes went wide. "You saw that?!"
"What do you mean 'I saw that'?! You were sleeping in the living room, that's a communal space!"
Asuka was so embarrassed she buried her face in her hands. "I can't believe this…"
Misato could only laugh. "It's a small house, Asuka, there aren't a whole lot of secrets you can keep around here, you've proved that already."
Asuka recovered from her humiliation. "But that was different," she continued. "That was all me trying to get us closer, and he never really did anything about it. The other night, though—that was him. He made the choice to reach out to me, he stayed with me for the rest of the night… I thought we were finally getting somewhere."
Misato lifted her chin thoughtfully. "That's a vague word: 'somewhere,'" she observed. "You want Shinji and you to be 'somewhere.' You want to be 'something.' What is it exactly you want from him?"
"I… I don't know." Asuka looked away. "I just want us to improve. To not always be tiptoeing around things like we're in a minefield. To be able to…" She trailed off.
"…kiss?" Misato teased.
"Look, if you're not going to take this seriously—"
"I'm sorry, it's just—you're too easy to make fun of sometimes." She sighed. "Sounds to me like you've got a textbook hedgehog's dilemma."
"What? No we don't!" Asuka protested.
"And now you're in denial."
"I am not! Wait, no, I mean… that was us before Third Impact! We're different now!"
"Oh please. The two of you are afraid to move further because you don't want to hurt each other. The difference between then and now, of course, is that now you know what hurting each other feels like." Misato thought for a moment. "And while I feel like you're not telling me the whole truth about whatever happened yesterday, I get the impression you two hurt each other again. And it's kicked you both back a few steps."
This was a lot to take in. "Well…" Asuka said finally. "What should I do?"
Misato laughed. "I can't make that decision for you Asuka." She shrugged. "I mean, it's like you said, you're not doing yourselves any favors by not talking about it. What I can say, and I know this from experience: sometimes in relationships we get hurt. But if you let that fear of getting hurt prevent you from taking the next steps… well, then you'll always regret not taking the chance when you could've."
"…like you and Kaji?" It wasn't a challenge, but an honest question.
Misato took a deep breath. "…like me and Kaji," she repeated with a wistful air.
Asuka winced. "Yeah…" she said. She looked out the window. "I miss him."
"Me too."
They both went quiet for a moment.
"Can I say one more thing?" Asuka asked.
"Sure Asuka, what is it?"
"I'm… glad we're able to talk like this now." She looked at her lap again. "I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble when you came back."
Misato put an arm around Asuka's shoulder. "Hey," she said. "We're only human, after all. Everyone here's done at least one irrational thing since they arrived."
"Speaking of Ibuki…"
"Well I didn't necessarily mean that."
"…she and Dr. Akagi are taking a while, aren't they?"
Misato frowned. "Yeah," she muttered. "I wonder what those two lovebirds are up to?"
Maya nibbled on the chocolate coating of her Pocky. It wasn't that she didn't want to eat it, but she'd already consumed an entire box on her own, and was about halfway through another. She knew enough from her evenings alone in her apartment that snacking from boredom was dangerous.
She put down the box and walked over behind the counter. Glancing at the cash register, her gaze landed on the small lock keeping it closed.
"Hmm." She glanced under the counter and found a box of paper clips. Pulling two out, she untangled them and began fiddling with the lock.
Ritsuko emerged from the backroom. "It wandered back into the woods," she announced. "I don't think it's following the trail, though. I'd wait a few minutes before…" she trailed off. "What the heck are you doing?"
Maya jumped and pulled the clips out of the lock. As she did so, it clicked and the cash register drawer opened. "I was just, uh… keeping my hands busy," she said stupidly as she pushed it closed.
"Uh-huh." Ritsuko walked over to the counter. "Well, long as you're back there, pass me a box of cigarettes."
Maya looked at the shelves behind her, grabbed a box, and handed it over.
"Got a light?" Ritsuko asked as she opened a box and pulled one out.
"Umm…" Maya looked around the counter and grabbed a lighter from a display rack. She sparked the flint and held out the open flame for Ritsuko.
"Thanks," Ritsuko said. "This'd be anticlimactic, huh? Dying of lung cancer after going through Third Impact. Want one?"
"I don't smoke."
"Hmm."
Maya thought for a second before adding: "It's not that I don't like it, I've just never tried—"
"Don't," Ritsuko interrupted as she tapped some of the ash away. "It's a terrible habit. You picked that lock with just a paperclip?"
"Well, two paperclips," Maya corrected. "Using one as a guide and the other as a pick. It's pretty simple."
Ritsuko leaned in to get a better look. "That's really impressive," she remarked. "Nice to know you're still full of surprises, even after Instrumentality."
Maya blushed slightly. "I learned this ages ago. Lockpicking's good for my ADHD. Gave me an outlet when I had some free time on my hands."
"Well, I can think of some less legally dubious methods of keeping your hands busy," Ritsuko joked. "You'd make a decent robber."
Maya smirked. "Yeah, well… except for the fact I can't hold a gun."
"What about standard NERV training?"
"That was at targets!" Maya sighed. "I've had enough of gunfire for one lifetime."
Ritsuko nodded sympathetically. "Well, some people aren't born to hold guns. By my estimate you could do more damage with a keyboard than any sort of weapon the JSSDF had."
Maya didn't say anything, but she seemed a little pleased by the compliment.
"And I mean, those lockpicking skills—those are some strong hands you've got there, Maya. The hands of a tinkerer."
Maya's look of pleasure was quickly replaced by something that more closely resembled shame. "That's not all these hands have been used for."
Ritsuko cringed. She didn't want to bring that up, but Maya had gone there.
Maya drooped her head. "I really messed things up for you all, didn't I?"
Ritsuko didn't answer right away. She thought about her response. "I don't know about that," she said finally. "I think… you started a lot of conversations that were gonna happen eventually. Especially among those three. I think they've spent enough time delaying the inevitable." She stamped out the cigarette and leaned in. "I don't know if you've noticed, but… they're a kind of messed up family."
"They really are."
The two of them laughed.
"Still," Maya sighed. "I feel like I'm intruding by staying in that house." She looked at Ritsuko. "Do you know what I mean?"
"Oh I do. Believe me, I do."
"Do you think that feeling's ever going away?"
"Don't know." Ritsuko absentmindedly traced a finger on an indentation in the countertop. "Hasn't for me. Every day I spend in there, I feel like I'm watching something I'm not supposed to. It's why I want to get out of there soon as I'm not needed. Probably find some house that's not too damaged somewhere… scrounge for supplies…"
"Grow houseplants?" Maya suggested.
"That too. And I'll give all the houseplants names, because I'll be that kind of person. A spinster."
"And cats."
"Oh, yes, absolutely. I'll own 3 cats."
"You're a spinster, gotta have at least 5."
"Hey, the more the merrier."
They were quiet for a moment.
"Maya…" Ritsuko cleared her throat. "I know I said this yesterday, but… I really am glad you decided to stay."
Maya shrugged. "I guess I am, too."
"I just… wish the circumstances were better."
"Yeah."
More silence. Maya wasn't really conscious of this as she was looking down at the counter, but Ritsuko was studying her at the moment. For the first time she was looking at Maya not as her junior, but as an equal.
It wasn't that she didn't reciprocate Maya's feelings, and it wasn't even that she didn't know about them until Instrumentality: the truth was she'd always been vaguely aware that Maya's admiration ran deeper than appreciation of intellect. The case was more that she'd never given any thought to the idea of Maya as a potential romantic partner…
Back at NERV, it would have been out of the question: she was Maya's direct superior. But now…
Maya looked up and immediately felt Ritsuko's piercing gaze. "What?!" she asked, startled.
"Nothing!" Ritsuko exclaimed, equally startled as she stepped back from the counter. "We should, uh… we should probably get going." She straightened herself out and headed for the door.
Maya stared in Ritsuko's direction, puzzled. What the heck just happened?
Misato was in the middle of shoveling when Shinji emerged, fully bundled up in winter gear.
A little too bundled up, actually.
"Overkill much?" Misato smirked.
Shinji lowered the scarf covering his face. "I said I would shovel," he protested, surveying Misato's progress. She'd already finished half the yard.
"Yeah, well, I didn't have much else to do," she shrugged. "Come on." She handed Shinji a shovel. "It'll be faster if we're both doing it."
She turned around to continue her work when she heard some grunting noises. Turning back, she was amused to see Shinji struggling to lift up a massive pile of snow.
"That's a pusher," she called out.
He stopped. "A what?"
"A pusher. You use it to push snow out of the way. It's not meant for lifting." She held up the shovel in her hands. "You want to use this, with the longer blade. Let's trade."
Shinji stared at the shovel for a moment before taking it. "I could've figured it out," he muttered.
"Well, failure is the best teacher," Misato replied. "But I'd hate to see you hurt yourself doing this."
Shinji didn't say anything in response. He simply began shoveling the snow with considerably more ease than he did with the other shovel.
Misato continued the task at hand. But she kept thinking about her talk with Asuka.
This didn't seem like a good time to talk to him about it. But then again, when would be a good time?
"This is fun, right Shinji?" she asked, hazarding a conversation starter.
"…I guess?" he replied, raising an eyebrow.
"You and me, some quality bonding time. A lot less killing involved."
"Sure."
Okay he's not giving me anything to work with here. "You, uh… you okay?"
"I'm fine," he replied.
It was blatantly obvious he didn't want to talk.
Somehow that was difficult to accept for Misato. She was trying her best to reach out, but he was shutting her down.
I gotta be upfront. "Shinji."
"What?" He sounded mildly annoyed.
It took her aback a little, but she regained her composure. "Shinji, I lied to you the other day."
He stopped shoveling.
"You asked me if I'd been drinking again, I told you I wasn't. That was a lie." She sighed. "But you knew that already, didn't you?"
Shinji took a deep breath. "Yeah," he said. "I did."
A brief silence hung between them.
"I know I disappointed you," she continued. "I'm trying my best here, Shinji, but I admit: I'm struggling. I've been struggling every day since I got back. But I didn't want this to be your problem, so I lied."
Shinji clung to his shovel. This was a lot to take in.
"I just wanted to put that out there," Misato continued. "One-on-one. I don't want there to be anymore misunderstandings between us. I mean, I'm supposed to be the adult here, right?"
It wasn't intended, but the last few words struck something of a nerve in Shinji. "Yeah, sure," he muttered. And then he went back to shoveling.
Misato blinked. That wasn't how she pictured this ending. "I…"
"Greetings, housemates!" Ritsuko announced as she and Maya entered the yard. "See you've been busy."
"We tried," Misato replied. "Got anything good?"
"Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we found a crate of soup cans."
Misato and Shinji both noticed the distinct lack of a crate. "And the bad news?"
"A wolf."
"A wolf?" Shinji repeated.
"There was a wolf wandering around outside the store," Maya explained. "We weren't armed, so we were only able to bring back a couple of cans. The rest are still in there."
"Christ," Misato muttered. "Alright, well, we can manage for the next few days. If the snow melts a little we can head back a little more prepared."
Ritsuko and Maya exchanged a glance. "Actually," Maya said. "There's something else we need to talk to you about."
"There is?"
Ritsuko started to speak but then she glanced over at Shinji. She looked at Misato questioningly.
Misato nodded. "Shinji, could you head inside?" she asked. "It's, uh… adult business."
He bristled at that. "Ugh, fine," he replied in a very un-Shinji-like way, as he let the shovel fall to the ground and marched back into the house.
"What's with the attitude?" Ritsuko asked Misato. "He's sounding more and more like an actual teenager."
Misato stared in the direction he'd left, concerned. "I'll… talk to him later," she said. "So… what is it you wanted to talk about?"
Asuka's nose was buried in Ritsuko's notebook. To the untrained eye it was full of complex equations and huge chunks of text. But while Ritsuko's poor handwriting made Asuka's slow process of translating it more difficult, the math was pretty sound. And so, she'd spent the better part of the last 20 minutes copying the equations into her own notebook and building her own observations.
She was in the middle of inspecting a very dense chunk of text when she heard the front door open and saw Shinji walk into the living room, dressed in a little too much winter gear.
"Kind of overkill, don't you think?" Asuka asked.
"Ms. Ritsuko and Lieutenant Ibuki are back," he announced, ignoring her comment as he unzipped his jacket.
"Oh? They bring anything good?"
"Just some cans. Said they had some trouble with a wolf."
"Oof. First bears, now wolves. We've got our predators cut out for us this winter. Where're the grown-ups?"
"Having a grown-up talk," Shinji replied sarcastically. He began making his way for the stairs.
"Shinji, wait."
He stopped. "What?"
"Could you come over here for a minute?"
He blinked. "Why?"
"I had a little chat with Misato."
"Oh." He thought for a moment. "Is that why she was talking to me about the alcohol?"
"That'd be my guess. That was one of the things we talked about, among others."
"Okay." He seemed genuinely surprised. "Well, what else did you talk about?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Asuka teased.
He frowned. "Asuka, I'm really not in the mood."
"Well come over here and I'll—" Asuka stopped. "Wait, the mood for what?"
"Forget it."
"No really, what?"
"Just… that thing you do."
"What thing I do?"
"When you make fun of me," he said, a little more forcefully. "When you criticize every single thing I do, like I can't do anything right. It's… I hate it."
Asuka blinked, surprised. "Well—you never said anything about it before," she retorted, saying the exact sort of thing you should never say when someone asks you to stop doing something.
"Oh?" Shinji raised an eyebrow. "And when was before? Before Third Impact?"
"You—" Asuka took a deep breath. They were going to get nowhere with this line of thought. "Okay. I'm sorry."
Shinji stared for a moment. He wasn't expecting that. "Alright," he said finally. "What do you want to talk about?" He walked over to the couch and sat down, facing Asuka.
Asuka considered her approach. "Well," she began. "About yesterday…" She trailed off.
Shinji waited. "Yes?"
Asuka remained silent as she thought about her words. Was she apologizing? No, what was the use in that? Shinji had been stupid, not her. And he sure as hell knew it, he wouldn't believe her apology. "When you told Ibuki… that you would've let her kill you if she wanted…" She stopped.
Shinji held his breath.
"… did you really mean it?"
He stared at her. "What—I meant what I said."
"But did you actually stop to think about what that meant? Or did you panic when you were trying to make things right, and just ran with the first thing that came to mind?"
Shinji stared at Asuka, unsure how to respond. "I…" He took a deep breath. "I honestly don't remember," he admitted. "But either way, I still wouldn't have stopped her."
Asuka sighed. "Of course you wouldn't have," she muttered.
Silence.
"I was thinking about you, though."
Asuka looked at him.
"I was thinking, 'If this happens, Asuka will never forgive me.'"
"…you thought right."
More silence.
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" he asked.
Asuka didn't answer. She stared hard at Shinji.
He took that as a yes, so he stood up to go. "Look," he said. "I was being stupid, I know that. But I'm just sick of people pretending nothing's changed about our lives, that we can still act the way we did before Third Impact. I know what I went through, you know what you went through, things should be better. But it's like another day in that stupid apartment."
Asuka kept staring up at him.
"I know what I've done, Asuka, I don't want people to treat me like the same kid from Class 2-B. I'm practically the reason we're all in this situation, shouldn't things bemmmmph!"
The end of that sentence was supposed to be, "—different now?" He was unable to finish the sentence mainly because he had to make a mad grab for something to keep his balance, just barely grabbing hold of Asuka's armrests without toppling over completely. And the reason he had to do that, and why he said "mmmmph" instead, was because Asuka had chosen that exact moment to abruptly grab him by the collar, pull him downwards, and slam her lips against his.
"Footprints?" Misato stared. "You're sure about this?"
"Clear as day," Ritsuko replied. "We weren't able to see where they went, but it was pretty obvious they were made by actual boots."
Misato blinked. "This doesn't make any sense. There shouldn't be anyone else out here."
Maya looked between the two of them. "You said Shinji and Asuka heard a radio communication only a few weeks ago. Doesn't it stand to reason there are others?"
"But that's the thing—that was a broadcast, it's the only time we've heard anything from another human. We've been living here for over a month now, if someone else was out here, we would've seen some sign of them by now."
Ritsuko bit her lip pensively. "Unless of course—" she offered. "Whoever it is doesn't want to be seen."
"Listen carefully," the figure said. "When you return, you will be reunited with ones whom you know. Katsuragi, Ikari, Soryu, Akagi."
Maya didn't respond. Rei waited a moment for her words to sink in.
"But Ibuki," she continued. "There is… something else out there. Whose heart is unknown to me. I do not know for sure what lies in store for you on the other side."
"Then leave me alone!" Maya pleaded. "I don't want this! I never wanted any of this!"
"Beware, Ibuki." Rei's form was starting to fade. "Something waits for you in the outside world. Something… ancient."
"…Rei." The words slipped out of Maya's mouth.
"Huh?" The unexpected mention of the First Child's name made Misato and Ritsuko jump. "Where?" Misato asked, looking around.
"No, I… I just remembered." Maya looked up. "The voice, that spoke to me, before I left Instrumentality… it was Rei's."
"So you did talk," Ritsuko mused.
Maya put a hand to her forehead as she tried to remember. "She wanted to have a talk. She said I had to be careful when I went back."
"Careful? Why?"
"She didn't go into a lot of detail—I think she herself didn't quite understand it, either." Maya lowered her hand. "She told me that I would find you all, but also that there was something else out there. Whose heart she couldn't see." She pursed her lips. "Something 'ancient,' she called it. She seemed… almost frightened."
Misato stared hard at Maya. "Something?"
Shinji was so caught off-guard by what was happening that he didn't even think to close his eyes. But it wouldn't have mattered, because whatever signals his eyes were sending to his brain weren't going through. Really, in this position, his mouth against Asuka's, his brain was completely useless.
It was passionate, yes, but it wasn't particularly romantic. It was messy, it was awkward, and it was impulsive. It was a moment that, under any other circumstance, could've lasted forever. But the truth was, it only lasted three or four seconds.
On the fifth second, Asuka finally seemed to realize what she was doing and immediately released him. She stared squarely at his chest for a moment, wide-eyed, then up at his face. "I'm-I'm sorry," she stammered.
Shinji stared back. "You—" He blinked. "Why did you do that?"
She wasn't expecting that response. "What?"
Before any more could be said, they were interrupted by Misato, Ritsuko, and Maya entering the house, prompting the two kids to separate from each other as much as possible.
"Welcome back," Asuka said, a little too casually. "You—" She stopped upon noticing Misato's incredibly troubled expression. "What's wrong?"
"We uh…" Misato scratched her forehead. "I'll… fill you in later. I gotta… I gotta think about this." And without another word she disappeared upstairs.
"Probably off to drink again," Ritsuko sighed. "I'll go check on her." She turned to leave.
Maya stared at Shinji and Asuka. Something was up. She'd sensed it from the moment she walked in. There was a weird tension in the air, and the source of that tension was the two kids in the living room. But it was a different kind of tension than the one she'd felt that morning. This one felt more… confused?
"Maya."
Then Maya realized Ritsuko's hand was on her shoulder and she jumped. "What?!" she exclaimed.
"Umm…" Ritsuko retracted her hand. "You're not allowed to be alone in a room with them, remember?"
"Oh, right. I'll… yeah." And she followed Ritsuko up the stairs.
Shinji and Asuka stared in the direction of the stairs, then at each other.
And then, without another word, Shinji zipped up his winter jacket again and headed out the front door to continue shoveling.
Asuka stared in his direction for a moment longer, before turning back to the desk and continuing to read Ritsuko's notebook.
Some things were better resolved for another day.